Darkness. It predates all other fears, and it is their mother and queen. Before we were even conceived, we were in the darkness of the womb, in the same way that future nebulas, then stars, then planets were mere pinpricks in that vast expanse of space.

We are born of the mother darkness, into a brilliant existence with a warm sun, a silver moon, the rich earth beneath our feet and wind in our hair, a lifeful of light and color.

And we see the light, the joy and saddness and breadth of it all, and we know.

Into the darkness, we will return.

And we are terrified, of going back to the total blindness, the deafness, the uncaring nothing that lives in the memory of our very matter.

I now feel this darkness. In a deep, winding cave, with walls prickled with nubbly rock formations as if it, too, had goosebumps. Without a beautiful view to look out over, or pine-scented air, or even sunlight, my thoughts quickly fill the vacuum.

My flashlight cuts a glaring white slash into this otherworld, revealing shades of gray and brown speckled with the occasional rusty red. I continue forward, further down the throat of this earthen beast.

My inhales, exhales, footsteps, are all oppressively loud in defiance of my effort to move with care, and the light of the flashlight is nearly offensive in how it touches the previously unwitnessed and undisturbed rock. I am an alien here, if only for the fact that I live and sense someplace so unalive and unsensing.

Once I’ve plunged deep enough, I halt the descent. Slowly, methodically, I lower myself to the clammy ground. I shut off my flashlight. I cease as much movement as I’m able.

And I wait.

It doesn’t take long. Though the cavern is wide and it echoes with every pebble that scuttles under my boots, the completeness of the dark settles over me like cold dust. My eyes widen, my pupils stretching and searching for any light at all, maybe a star or the green flash of a retina, but it’s just not there. I clutch my legs closer to my chest, overwhelmed by the utter lack. All there is now, all that exists on this foreign planet I’ve invaded, is the sickly coolness of the rock seeping into me from below, and my own trembling breaths.

Everyone says I’m crazy for coming out here, alone, for starting up this little ritual. They let me be, let me cope with my tragedy in however I see fit to. I think it’s just because they don’t know what else to do with me. And because it helps, in a way.

My body is shaking now. The quiet, the blackness is damning, a tsunami that won’t stop falling on me, claustrophobic and exposing in equal measure.

This is what it is to predate creation. This is what it is to be, not dead, but never alive.

This is the closest I will come, while keeping my fragile heart beating, to my daughter who never was. My daughter who only ever knew the dark coffin of my insides. To my daughter, who did not have the great luck as I have to see life with her eyes and feel it with her hands, and instead had the grave misfortune of nothing at all.

I rise, the creak of my bones somehow ancient as I move back to the realm of the living, back with my fellows in existence. The flashlight clicks on, and colors leap back into my vision, the pieces of the void that had clung to me scattering as I return to a living thing, moving and seeing and hearing, and I turn back to the way I came.

As I come back to the sunlight, the animal sensations of hunger and thirst coming back to me, I feel heavy and fearful for what I must leave behind in the darkness. But it predates us all, our mother and queen, and for the mere candle-flicker of time my soul gets to spend on Earth in comparison to the eternal freezing breadth of all that comes before and after, my daughter is entrusted to her.

The darkness called to her.

Why? No one knew, but she had felt its pull for as long as she could remember. Her parents told her she had been born with it. Even as a baby, before she could walk or talk, she would seek out the dark. Much to their dismay.

But to her, it was simply who she was. Her whole life she had been seeking it out.

It didn’t scare her, it was a comfort. The darkness didn’t question, didn’t force her to be truthful or honest.

Oh no, she could lie and steal and cheat in the darkness and no one would dare question it, because, because they were scared of the darkness.

They were scared of her.

It seemed that, even when she found herself in the light, she longed for the dark. She would dress in black clothes every day, as if her very soul was consumed by the same entity.

Her parents tried, tried to keep her from its grasp, terrified of what it would do to her. But their efforts seemed futile, as from the moment she had been born, so has her love of the dark.

No one understood her and she didn’t care. She had no reason or desire to explain to her parents or to anyone about the matter.

Her heart was not dark, though most didn’t understand this. If her love of the dark was as strong as it seemed to be, surely her heart and soul were just as dark?!

But they weren’t. She wasn’t mean or evil and found herself often upset with those that seemed to think she was such.

She was simply who she was. A sweet kind person that loved the dark.

Trees, bees, fleas, and a breeze All in my backyard Finches, witches, and some trash filled ditches …Are also in my backyard Maybe even some ghost but if I seen them then I’m toast But, the worst of all… The Boogie Man Why couldn’t he be Batman or a Caveman? Heck, even a minivan some teenager’s crashed into our ditch would be better. I wish I could switch places with the van Because then he wouldn’t already know my plan And I could spy like a fly on the wall But he knows And I know And he knows I know But, In the note he wrote I could pick my battle where we will grapple Like rotten apples A dance battle will be our fate on this here’s date Sure, the night gives me a fright but the moonlight gives me moves that makes sure I can’t loose. So under the stars I going to dance so hard it sends him to mars. I hit the griddy So he know he won’t get rid of me easily And I hit the whip and nae nae so he knew I was crae crae But the boogie man got crazy and wasn’t lazy He hit it So I had to ditch this And run. For now on I knew not only was the night haunting me.. but the dance floor. The Boogie man can’t be beat.

In Portland’s underbelly, where neon lights flicker like half-forgotten dreams, they gather— hunched shoulders and hollow eyes, those who seek the shadows, not out of fear, but out of a need to feel something more than the emptiness inside that daylight exposes.

The streets are veins, pulsing with the life of the night, in alleyways slick with rain, where syringes glint under streetlights, they shuffle with uncertain steps, finding their refuge, their sanctuary in the void.

Fentanyl hits quick, a sharp, icy embrace that blurs the world, a numbing balm for wounds too deep to name. And in that haze, the abyss isn’t something to run from but something to hold onto, something that swallows the hurt whole.

The night is a watchful predator, and it’s the void that truly sees them— the addicts, with sunken cheeks and trembling hands, cradling them in a comfort daylight would never understand.

For them, the darkness isn’t a monster, it’s a lover, a whisper that tells them they’re not alone, even as they fade further into its depths.

What happens to those who seek the dark? They find it, and in it, they find a mirror, a reflection of the parts of themselves they’ve buried deep, the pain, the guilt, the memories that burn too bright in the harsh light of day.

In the void, they are weightless, drifting between the echoes of what was and the silence of what could have been, a space where time slows, and reality bends, where the world outside can’t reach them.

But the abyss isn’t kind, it gives, but it also takes, and each time they seek it, a piece of them stays behind, trapped in the shadows, fading into the background noise of a city that never sleeps.

And so they chase it, again and again, seeking the comfort of the shade, the numbness it brings, until the lines blur, and the slow dissolve of the void isn’t a place they go, but a part of who they are.

What happens to those who seek the shadows? They become it, their eyes adjusting to the dimness, their hearts beating to the rhythm of a city that only comes alive when the sun goes down.

They learn to live in the spaces where the light doesn’t reach, to thrive in the quiet, to find solace in the stillness, but in that gloom, they also lose themselves, piece by piece, until all that’s left is a remnant of who they used to be, chasing shadows in a city that will never love them back.

The gate quickly started to close, the creaking growing louder as it slid closed. Sorren, Jax and Taylor skidded to a stop, panting heavily. I brushed past them as my body felt a surge of energy, adrenaline, and exhilaration. Taylor reached out to grab me, failing miserably. “Renji, don’t!!” On instinct, I sprinted and slid under the metal just in time, the gate slamming into the ground. I quickly got up and ran into the dark of the tunnel, ignoring Taylor’s command. My eyes immediately adjusted to the dark, the faint glow of my headset the only light I had. My feet echoed with every swift step, my heart starting to pound as my head started to feel focused and light. I could hear Taylor’s voice shouting from the entrance, quickly echoing into silence the farther I went into the tunnel. But I didn’t care. I couldn’t care less. A familiar high settled into my mind, excitement and expectancy replacing my usual demeanor. “Neo levels elevated. Caution is advised.” “Yeah, yeah, I know.” I hissed, the AI chiming in my headset. “I’m here to help, Renji. When will you understand that?” Sai said, a hint of irritation in her voice. Another crackle and Taylors voice crackled into it. “What the hell are you thinking?! Are you insane?!” “We’ll lose him if we just stand by, I’m-“ “I don’t care! Your a target and your running right into them!! Get back here, now! That’s an order!!” I scoffed and panted softly, “This is more important… Going dark.” “Renji! Ren-!!” I switched the comm’s off, continuing to run as fast as my legs and Neo let me. The sound of more footsteps grew closer the more I ran. “Sai, scan for heat signatures.” “Of course. Scanning for heat signatures…” Sai chimed, pausing for a couple seconds before responding again. “Total of four heat signatures detected. Firearms are detected as well. Proceed with caution.” “Got it.” The tunnel split into three, curving into different directions. I skidded to a stop, my panting barely above a whisper. “Heat signatures detected in all routes, two in the left tunnel.” I contemplated quickly, “Where does it lead?” “The left route leads to Fern’s, a small bar above the tunnel. The other two lead into sewer lines scattered across Sypher.” Shuffling to the right made me whip towards it, my hand gripping my butterfly knife on my belt. “All heat signtures are closing in fast. Prepare for combat.” My heart raced, hearing footsteps coming closer. I grumbled under my breath, “Let’s get to it then.” I could feel my head get a little lighter, Sai chirped again. “Neo levels increased. Time until debility, 43 minutes and 12 seconds…” “I don’t think this will take that long.” “Let’s see it then.” A smirk twitched at the corner of my lips at her comment. Within seconds, I was surrounded by masked syndicates, likely from The Silence. They all drew their guns and immediately fired. I swiftly raised my hand in front of me, a barrier formed in between me and the bullets, stopping them in their path. I huffed and twisted my wrist, the barrier dissipated and the bullets slowly turned back towards their owners. “Dont you know who your up against?” I huffed, my eyes narrowing in the dark. I forced my hand towards the syndicates, the bullets flying back towards them, striking them and neutralizing them. One managed to quickly dodged and charged towards me, raising his gun towards me once more. Sai spoke again, “Neo increase detected. Corrected time of debility, 16 minutes and 45 seconds…” A bullet fired, blood splattered against the wall as I didn’t have time to focus. I groaned and twirled my butterfly knife out as I was right in front of the assailant in a matter of seconds. I swiped my knife at his body, slicing across his chest. He grunted and stumbled back. I didn’t give time for him to react as I plunged my knife into his side, twisting it violently before pulling it out once more. The assailant gurgled and collapsed to the floor in a heap. “Well done, Renji. All targets neutralized.” I panted and leaned against the wall, clutching my arm as blood seeped from where the bullet grazed. My mind felt hazy, pounding with a horrid migraine, my nose starting to bleed. “I advise you sit, Renji. Your injured and alone.” “No kidding…” I growled. I put my butterfly knife away and looked at the blood on my hands. “I’m trying to help but your stubbornness is infuriating.” Sai huffed. “Whats with you today?” “Just shut up and let me focus for a second!” I took a deep breath. I hadn’t felt the pain of the bullet until now. I winced and tighten my grip on my arm. “Does your anger have to do with Sorren?” “W-what? How did you-“ “You always forget to take off your headset, Renji. I… may listen in at times.” “Of course you do…” I spat as I rolled my eyes. Sai sighed and stayed silent. The exhilaration of the fight wore off and was replaced with irritation and exhaustion. There was a deafening silence as I thought of what to do. I didn’t feel like fighting anymore, not that I was in the condition to anyway. “Time until debility; 10 minutes and 58 seconds. Neo withdrawal is advised.” I sighed and looked up into the darkness. “… could I have done something different?” “I’m not sure I understand, Renji.” I took another deep breath and held back my attitude, “The argument. With Sorren… should I have said or… done something different?” Sai paused, she chirped in my ear as she spoke, “Expaining to Sorren you knew his sister during the time she and you were missing is difficult to understand. Besides, it was impossible to determine if Ruin, or Evelyn Ariella, was alive. You escaped with six others, no? Was she not amongst you all?” “No...” “I see.” I felt myself sway a little and I leaned a bit more on the wall. “How… how was I suppose to know she managed to escape with the others too? Should I have waited? Should I have stayed behind? I-“ “It’s pointless to mull over the past, Renji. What is done is done. But grief is difficult to surpass...” She hesitated before continuing, “… I’m sure you understand.” “Yeah, well, my brother didn’t go missing and come back as a psychotic mercenary.” Sai suddenly laughed, catching me by surprise. “You are correct. But I don’t think I would be happy to find out my sister was alive all this time and didn’t bother to see me.” I scoffed and nodded, “Yeah… I wouldn’t… either…” Sai chirped again, her voice laced with concern, “Neo levels decreasing. Please sit down, Renji.” “I’m fine, Sai… I’m… fine…” “You are not fine. You need medical attention. Now. Overriding muted comms…” My attention shot up and I rapidly pressed buttons on my headset. “No, I’m fine, Sai!” “Muted comms overidden by lead operator. Connecting to Taylor Wittick…” A small crackle and the comms turned on. “Renji!! Renji, are you alright?!” I groaned and wiped blood away from my nose, “I’m fine, Taylor. All targets neutralized.” Taylor sighed in relief, irritation still evident in his tone, “Good. Now get the hell back here. We still haven’t managed to open the gate.” “Theres no point. These tunnels lead around Sypher, one of them leading to Fern’s. Meet… meet me there.” There was a pause. “How much time do you have left?” He inquired, the comms crackling a little. “Not much…” I panted softly, Sai interrupting our conversation. “Recalculated time until debility, 6 minutes and 45 seconds. Neo withdrawal is advised.” Taylor groaned, “We’re they Silence syndicates?” “Yeah. They had guns, with real bullets. Not blasters.” The silence in between responses grew, tension growing heavy. I put my back against the wall, feeling the familiar dizziness start. “How the hell did they get those?!” “I-I don’t know…” I slid down the wall and to the floor. I cursed under my breath and leaned my head back. “Neo withdrawal detected. Directions to Fern’s has been sent to you, Taylor.” “Renji?” “Yeah…?” “Just hold tight. Dont move unless you have to. We’re on the way.” My pants slowed and stabilized, my vision slowly adjusting to the darkness of the tunnel. “Renji?” Taylor called out. “Renji…? Renji…!” I took off my headset, Taylors voice faint as I put it to the side. I closed my eyes and felt my eyes start to sting. “Are you alright, Renji? Your adrenaline is rising again.” Sai spoke from my wrist watch, sending a soft glow in the darkness. “…Ren?” “Dont… don’t call me that…” “Im just making sure you didn’t pass out yet.” “C-can’t you detect that?” My body trembled as I spoke. “I would rather hear your voice then rely on my data. You didn’t answer my question, though. It’s good to keep you talking until help arrives.” I didn’t want to answer it and staying awake didn’t seem appealing at the moment. “I feel guilty. I should’ve tried to at least… explain and reason with him instead of.. well, you know how it ended…” Sai hummed in response, “Seems like the argument affected you more then you thought then. Your adrenaline is still rising. Focus your attention on something else for now. You’ll reactivate your Neo. Corruption is still possible during withdrawal.” “Y-yeah… I know…” There was so much on my mind, I didn’t want to think anymore. I was tired, in more ways than one. But there was something knawing at the back of my mind. “Sai…” “Yes, Renji?” “Show me vitals…” “Of course.” A quiet chime came from my watch. A small holographic screen hovered over the watch. “Heart rate is at a steady 58. BP is 148. Oxygen saturation is 91%.” “Makes sense…” My grip on my arm was loosening slowly. “I didn’t want to say anything to worry you, but yes. Your vitals are more then concerning.” I let out a weak scoff, “So much for being helpful, huh?” I took a deep breath, “Show me past vitals after Neo spikes…” “Already on it.” A few more screens appeared around my current vitals. The past ones were better then today, progressively getting worse every time. “Do you see… what I’m seeing?” “Unfortunately.” Sai spoke with a dejected tone. “Are you going to tell Taylor?” “No… I want to try and figure this out… before I have to. I don’t want to worry him…” Sai sighed in frustration, “Renji. Please. What if something happens to you on the field?”__ _“_Nothing is going to happen… not… not for a while…” “Did you know this would happen…?” I stayed silent, staring into the void I was in. “Renji.” “Yes. I did.” I hesitated, “…Braizer’s notes said this would happen at some point in time… but given… given the circumstances… he couldn’t tell how fast or how long it would take…” “Jesus Christ, Renji!! I… I’m calling Taylor-“ _“_Initiate Silence Protocol.” Sai suddenly went silent. “I can’t let you do that… Not until I can figure this out…” Sai hummed before replying, “When did you program that into me?” “When I realized… I needed someone to talk to.” Sai broke out into laughter again, “Renji, you have everyone else. Why use an AI? I give data. Not advice.” “But you give the truth. You can’t lie.” “With this protocol, I technically can.” “Oh hush…” Another deafening silence fell. I shifted a little on the ground and sighed softly again. I felt my eyes start to flutter.” “Renji. You need to stay awake.” I turned my watch towards me. “Dont. I need to monitor your condition.” “I need some peace and quiet. I’ll be fine… Sai… Taylors on the way.” “Renji-” I shut down my watch. The complete darkness welcomed me once again as all my worries disappated into its entirety.

Humans fear the dark, But what happens for those who seek it? Does it make them less human, Does it make them creatures? Why do they like the dark? Why do they seek it? It’s not beautiful It’s wickedly evident That these people are not normal We are not normal We are the monsters that lurk in the shadows of steeples Rejects that know their own worth as human’s equals We may be different We may be odd But that’s cause the darkness Has mercy on us

Louis was home alone for the first time. She had finally left her parents home. She loved her parents but they were strict and overprotective. Most people would be nervous but as night time fell and her parents were no where to be found, her stomach clentched a little and a bit of excitement cursed through her body. Out of habit she did what she had always done in her parents home, even though she thought it was pointless. After her usual night time routine, she went to bed, after a few minutes of having a hard time falling asleep. She decided it was time to try something new. She turned off all the lights, turned off anything that made noise, and she even turned off the fans, choosing instead to turn on the airconditionar. As she looked srojnd to see if she wanted to do something else. her stomach clenched more.

"That's weird…"

That never happened to her and she knew it wasnt hunger. Even though she had a bad gut feeling, she felt powerful and ignored her gut feeling. She went to open the curtain blinds, looking out and seeing pure darkness.

"At home I wouldve never been able to do any of this without getting in trouble."

She scoffed and went back to bed.

"They were ridiculous, it’s perfectly safe to have the house like this too and more comfortable at that.”

She laid in bed and closed her eyes hours passed and it’s now midnight Louis awoke to the sound of knocking both at the door and the window next to her bed. Her heartbeat pounded in her chest as she opened her eyes and sprung up from her bed. Looking at the door, slightly opened and with a bloody message written <You should’ve taken safety measures if you wanted to live longer>. Through the door crack, she could see a figure with a non-human smile. Then she heard the knocking at the window again… slowly she opened the curtains. Screaming loudly when she saw her dead parents heads hanging from a tree. She turned to try and run away. Opening the door more, which caused the monster to kill her too…

Most people avoid the dark. They see imaginary ghosts and mystical creatures. I suppose I should explain the type of darkness I am speaking of. It’s the kind that settles in your closet once the sun sets. It’s the sort that makes you back away from the creepy shed. This darkness inflicts fear and pain. But it is all a disguise, a defense. It protects what’s in the darkness. What is in the darkness and shadows you ask. No one knows. The shadows of anxiety and fear do a pretty good job of keeping secrets.

Deep within the heart of a dense, foreboding forest, stood an ancient mansion, its once-grand facade now weathered and decrepit. Shattered windows adorned its walls like hollow eyes, and creeping ivy draped over its crumbling bricks. Despite the ominous warnings whispered among the locals, a group of intrepid adventurers dared to venture inside, drawn by the allure of the unknown. Among them were Alex, a skeptic who scoffed at superstition, and Sarah, a thrill-seeker captivated by the mysteries that lay within.

As they crossed the threshold, the air grew thick with the scent of decay, and the floorboards groaned beneath their weight. Shadows danced ominously in the flickering candlelight, casting eerie shapes upon the walls. Sarah's eyes gleamed with excitement, her heart pounding with anticipation, while Alex's skepticism wavered in the face of such palpable dread.

"Isn't this thrilling?" Sarah whispered, her voice barely audible above the oppressive silence. "Imagine the stories these walls could tell."

Alex chuckled nervously, his gaze darting warily around the dimly lit foyer. "Let's just find what we came for and get out of here."

Their footsteps echoed through the empty halls as they explored the abandoned mansion, their senses heightened by the sense of foreboding that permeated the air. Yet, despite their trepidation, they pressed on, driven by a curiosity that bordered on reckless.

As they ventured deeper into the bowels of the mansion, the darkness seemed to grow denser, suffocating them with its presence. Sarah's steps quickened with excitement, her eyes alight with the thrill of the unknown, while Alex's heart pounded with a mounting sense of unease.

Suddenly, a door creaked open, revealing a staircase that descended into the depths below. Sarah's excitement bubbled over, her curiosity piqued by the promise of hidden treasures lurking in the shadows. But Alex's apprehension deepened, his instincts screaming at him to turn back before it was too late.

"Sarah, we shouldn't go down there," Alex urged, his voice trembling with unease. "It's too dangerous."

But Sarah's curiosity got the better of her, and with a determined glint in her eye, she descended into the darkness without hesitation. Reluctantly, Alex followed, his footsteps echoing off the cold stone walls as they descended deeper into the abyss.

As they reached the bottom of the staircase, they found themselves in a dimly lit chamber, its walls adorned with ancient relics and mysterious symbols. Sarah's eyes widened in awe, her breath catching in her throat at the sight of such hidden wonders, while Alex's stomach churned with a sense of impending doom.

Suddenly, the candles flickered and went out, plunging the chamber into darkness. Panic surged through Alex as he reached out blindly for Sarah's hand, but she was nowhere to be found.

"Sarah! Where are you?" Alex called out, his voice echoing off the walls.

But there was no response, only the sound of his own ragged breathing. With trembling hands, Alex fumbled for his flashlight, his heart pounding in his chest as he illuminated the chamber in a harsh white light.

And there, standing in the shadows, was Sarah. But something was different about her. Her eyes gleamed with a malevolent light, and her lips curled into a sinister smile.

"Sarah, what's happening to you?" Alex cried, his voice filled with desperation.

But Sarah's laughter echoed through the chamber, sending chills down Alex's spine. "You should never have come here, Alex. The shadows have claimed me, and now they will claim you too."

With a sudden burst of speed, Sarah lunged at Alex, her nails elongating into razor-sharp claws. Alex screamed as he stumbled backward, his flashlight falling from his grasp.

In the darkness, the shadows swirled around them, consuming them both in their cold embrace. And as the echoes of their screams faded into silence, the abandoned mansion claimed two more victims, lost to the darkness they sought.

i am afraid of the dark but what would happen if i forgot that fear?

if i realized that the dark is just like the light, i wouldn’t be scared. except, you might say we can’t see. and what’s wrong with that?

what’s so scary about not knowing not seeing what’s there?

do you really need to know? can you maybe enjoy what is unknown to you?

but, you say, something dangerous could be lurking.

that is just the same with light there is danger in everything you can’t deny it or run away you are doomed to have close calls and terrible injuries

so it shouldn’t stop you from enjoying what you have in the moments that you have

in the light in the dark in the night in the day

it’s all the same

what’s so scary about the dark? nothing.