'No human should have to get up this early,' Marcus muttered under his breath. Not that muttering made any difference, the sand whipping around his heels made the same amount of noise as a hurricane. Except this was a hurricane made entirely of sharp grains of sand that cut into his skin.

Marcus swallowed, his mouth impossibly dry. He'd better find shelter soon, before the sand cut him to ribbons.

He tugged the weathered map from his pocket, squinting his eyes to examine it properly. So long as he was following the north trail, the emergency outpost should be less than a mile away. And he was walking north, at least according to his ancient compass.

So with hope somewhat restored, Marcus re-shouldered his pack and set to walking.

Three quarters of a mile away, Nelson was hotwiring the only computer in the emergency outpost. Well, hotwiring was probably too technical a word for what Nelson was doing, which involved a lot of cutting wires and pressing them together, only for nothing to happen.

Nelson cursed, cursing again when a hollow knocking made him jump and knock his head on the underside of the desk. Pain was quickly replaced by fear.

Someone was knocking. Someone was outside in the storm, knocking to get in.

'H-hello?' Nelson called, immediately feeling ridiculous. There was no way the knocker would hear him over the storm.

Grabbing a wrench, because it looked somewhat menacing and the knocker could be anyone, Nelson approached the door. It was easily twice his size, and five times as wide, with a wheel set into the centre. Nelson was loathe to put the wrench down to turn it but then the knocking started up again.

'Yes, alright, I hear you!'

It took him three full turns to get the damn door open, only for Nelson to nearly get flattened by the knocker falling on him like a toppled domino.

'Gerroff!' Nelson yelped, scrambling out from underneath the knocker like an overturned ladybug. His heart was pounding so hard it hurt, his breath the only sound, at least until the howling wind brought sand into the outpost.

Side-stepping the mysterious knocker, Nelson shouldered the door shut, noticing the other man's shoulders crumple in relief.

'Thank you,' the knocker said hoarsely, before taking desperate gulps from an almost empty flask.

'You're welcome,' said Nelson, only because it was polite. Then curiosity got the better of him and he added, 'What on earth possessed you to go walking in the sandstorm?'

'Name's Marcus,' the knocker replied.

Nelson crossed his arms over his chest. 'That doesn't answer my question.'

Marcus shrugged, clearly not bothered by social niceties. 'Is that computer working?'

'No,' Nelson said curtly. 'I'm... fixing it.'

Marcus looked doubtful, and really, who could blame him when the computer's guts were all over the floor?

'I need that computer,' Marcus said, 'I have to send a message.'

Nelson was loathe to admit he didn't know what he was doing, so in the end he settled for, 'I'm afraid it can't be repaired.'

Marcus scowled, climbing to his feet like every movement was an effort. 'Fine. Guess I'll keep walking.'

'You can't!' Nelson spluttered. 'The sand will rip you to shreds - more than it already has! If you're going back out there you need...'

'Need?' Marcus echoed.

'Transport.' Nelson said flatly. 'There's a... truck, out the back.'

Marcus looked somewhat abashed. 'I don't suppose you... I don't know how to...'

Realisation dawned on Nelson then about what this stranger was trying to ask him to do.

'Oh no, absolutely not! I won't drive you, I don't even know you!'

Marcus' mouth was a grim line as he looked at Nelson and said three impossible words. 'Don't you, Nelson?'

“Jordan!” Aura cried out, pulling hard on the reins of her borrowed horse. “Where are you?”

As though it were reacting to her distress, the storm began to worsen. She lifted a hand to her face in a futile attempt to shield herself from the strong winds, wishing she had even the faintest idea how her stupid powers worked. Ivy — at least that was what Aura thought the horse’s name was — didn’t seem to be enjoying this any more than she was. It made sense, of course, but —

“Excuse me!”

Aura almost fell off the horse, twisting around and squinting at the figure behind her. She could hardly see anything, but she could tell that this stranger was another girl.

“Do you need help?” she asked, the wind whipping her words away. She repeated them, having to scream them out to make sure the girl heard her.

“I heard you were heading for Taleria!” the other girl yelled. “I see what will befall you if you go there and plead that you reconsider your decision!”

Aura found herself laughing, the sound cold and unnatural and mirthless. “You can’t stop me! I have to do this!”

“Very well.” The girl didn’t seem too pleased. “Then allow me to join you.”

Before Aura had a chance to say anything — specifically a firm ‘no!’ — the girl had summoned a horse from seemingly nowhere and scrambled onto it, riding bareback.

“You will not regret having me on your team.”

“Jordan is only here because I don’t know my way around these parts.”

“Well, there may be another reason,” the girl laughed, though it was pulled away too quickly to lighten the tension between the pair. “My name is Silver Nightshade.”

“Your name is what?” Aura asked, certain she’d misheard. Surely no parent would be quite so cruel as to call their child ‘Silver’. Especially with a surname like Nightshade!

Then again, Jordanna’s surname was Merlin…

“Don’t pretend you didn’t hear me, Auretta Corentin.”

And, sufficiently shaken, Aura said no more about it.

For five minutes.

Rain pelted down in the dark. Thunder cracked in the distance, like the same deep boom of a commander’s voice, the accompanying flashes of lightning like hellish harbingers warning of the oncoming army. The full force of the storm alone was enough to frighten the soldiers, the rain so hard and fast it was as if they were being shot at with needles, the humidity of the night creating an eerie mist in its wake.

Adelin gripped the reins of his dragon harder. The water clanged against his armor like it might on a tin roof, the ping-ping-ping only rattling his nerves more. But he refused to let his fear control him. He had a battle to win.

“SOLDIER!” his general called from across the sky. Adelin suddenly realized he had fallen out of line with the other dragons, their blood-red scales illuminated by only the moon. He winced and hurriedly steered his dragon back into line.

“KEEP YOUR HEAD SCREWED ON TIGHTER!” The general roared as his steered his own black-scaled dragon back to his post.

Adelin tried to focus, but his hands shook as he watched another lightning bolt explode across the sky. The storm was growing worse. But then again, he was a soldier of the king. He had no room in him for fear. At least, that was what his general always told him.

“BESSIE!”

Adelin nearly jumped out of his skin. That wasn’t his general’s voice. In fact, it was coming from somewhere above him… SMACK!

“Whoa-oa…!!” Adelin was thrown forwards off his saddle and onto the dragon’s neck as a large figure landed just behind him.

The mysterious figure grabbed the rains and sped the dragon forwards. “ONWARD! We’ve got a war to win!”

The dragon listened. Instead of flying in line with its comrades, Adelin watched in horror as the figure steered it steered right and zipped way ahead of the rest of their unit.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Adelin screamed, still clinging to the dragon’s neck for dear life. “You’re steering us away from the battle!!”

“Well, duh, stupid,” the figure said, skillfully maneuvering the dragon around a patch of dark cloud. Adelin clung to the neck harder, praying with all his might he wasn’t about to lose his grip. “This battle’s going to be a death wish. Anyone dumb to fight in it can, but I sure as hell ain’t. YAH!” On the figure’s command, the dragon dipped down into a nosedive.

Adelin shrieked with terror. He buried his face unit the dragons neck, not wanting to look down, down down… until all of a sudden the dropping sensation faded and the wind stopped whipping his hair back. Slowly, very slowly, he peaked open one eye and then the other. The dragon had landed.

The figure jumped down from the saddle with surprising grace, then began to tie up the reins. They raised an eyebrow at him. “Uh. You might want to get down?”

Adelin narrowed his eyes, but let himself fall from the dragon’s neck. Even wearing his battle gloves, his hands ached from clinging onto wet, slimy red scales for all that time. As if sensing this insult, the dragon made a huffing sound and whirled its giant head around to face him.

“Easy, Bessie,” the figure soothed.

“‘Bessie?!’” Adelin cried incredulously, still riled up from their descend. “It’s a girl?”

“Yeah.” The figure shrugged, then whipped off their helmet to reveal a human girl. She was possibly the prettiest human girl he had ever seen, with luscious blonde hair, sparkling brown eyes, and a vibrant smile. “Like me. You gotta a problem with that?”

“N-no!” Adelin stuttered. “No! I’m just… shocked. I’ve never seen a female soldier before.”

“Well surprise, surprise,” the girl said, as if she was tired of hearing this. “I’m an anomaly.” She rolled her eyes and gave the reins one last tug. “You’re all secure, Bess. You want some water?”

The dragon snorted in agreement.

“How come it likes you so much but it hates me?” Adelin complained, watching as the dragon glared at him.

“Maybe start by calling her a ‘she’ instead of an ‘it.’” Adelin watched as the girl wandered over to a nearby pond he hadn’t noticed before. The rain was starting to slow, and the most began to settle on the pond’s surface, giving it a mystical feel. “Here, Bess. Drink up. Now come over here soldier, so I can introduce myself more formally.”

Blinding beams of moonlight shone down from the heavens encapsulating the intense downpour forced towards the road my car was traversing through as if to open a tunnel to the harsh depths of hell itself.

Onwards I travelled at a steady pace through a desolate land uninhabited apart from the various flies surely hiding in the darkness however my speed was too great to witness their solitude.

A strange occurrence transpired.

In the distance ahead of me a mysterious figure positioned directly in the centre of the country road was revealed, comparable to a threatening scarecrow embodying intimidation over its proprietary forgotten plain. As my approach persisted their size grew in conjunction with my advance. Their position however maintained. Statue still.

Perhaps I wasn’t thinking clearly from the exhaustion after a long days work, my eyes were heavy & legs were achy. I couldn’t fathom being stuck out here alone with no option but to simply reside in the midst of a dominating storm, so I pulled up beside the figure.

Silence followed.

“Who are you?” I questioned, inspecting this unfamiliar soul. A woman, wearing a dark drenched coat dripped down to her grimy white trainers. Ripped denim jeans accompanied her attire with a sincere look of desperation in her tired, empty eyes. She looked fragile, like a statue of pure ice positioned in a military firing line.

“You going this way?” I pursued. Silence. “Come on in, I’ll take you somewhere safe at least.” Hesitatingly I reached over to unlock the passenger door which seemed to persuade the woman to enter. The door shut. I proceeded to drive.

Once my new companion accompanied me it occurred that the moonlight had not shifted, barely at least. It was as if I was driving round & round in a circle across a much smaller, spherical terrain. Clearly I had underestimated my lethargic detachment from reality thanks to todays transient insomnia.

Spiralling down this endless route a something new caught my eye, a car lay beside the road trashed as if it had come head first with an aggravated opposing force. I jumped out to help whoever remained.

“Hey! Anybody there?”

Silence.

Upon closer inspection the car had seemingly been in a crash, there was no person inside, the doors were locked shut & all what remained was a splatter of blood atop the steering wheel. Since there were no casualties my next instinct was to return to my car where I noticed similar damage to my own car. Shocking confusion ensued.

“What the hell is going on?!” I asked myself during re-entry of my seemingly newly damaged vehicle. The woman beside me turned which was shocking in itself as no other human expressions had been shown prior. Her hood lifted down & revealed a crack in her skull, hair split like a scorched path of grass. I stared, dumbfounded. Hesitantly I looked once again forward & noticed a similar splash of blood, even across my windscreen as if it was previously beyond my perception. In a last ditch attempt to convince my unearthly fear as fictional my hand reached atop my forehead. I inspected. Oh god.

We set off down the road once more.

Awareness of my ongoing situation was finally realised. As my epiphany initiated, the car on the side of the road stopped reappearing. Reluctant acceptance allowed my ticket of eternal bliss.

The End.

From my window I saw it all. We were all huddled together as the freezing cold rain lashed at the window. The sky was pitch black and you could barely see 5 feet in front of you. Mama, Daddy, Ellie, Thomas and me, Janie. Thomas was wailing and Mama was calming him. Ellie was staring, pudgy little fingers pressed up against the glass, watching the rain splatter. I was just looking around. The laundry room had started to take on water, as it was seeping through cracks in the doorway. It wouldn’t be too long before it came and swallowed us up in the dinning room. And then I saw something out of the window, across the street, just barely. It was a dark and shadowy figure quickly moving from street lamp, to street lamp. Somehow the lights still hadn’t gone out, there were faint little orange blobs across the street, therefore letting me see the figure. All of a sudden a small red car zoomed across the street and the figure jumped inside and the car zoomed away as quickly as it had came. A flashback hit me and when I came out of it I gasped. “Mama?” I whispered with fear in my voice. For I knew who the figure truly was.

Nevis steadied his hand on the wheel, the road slippery; it forced him to slow down.

“Fuck this is bad,” he mumbled to himself, lighting a cigarette with one hand and filling the car up with a puff of smoke.

The rain pounded against the car, a full on airborne assault.

“I’d hate to be stuck outside in this,” mumbling again to himself.

The radio wouldn’t work, no surprise there. Even with the attempted turning and banging if the radios knob. Nevis was better off putting on a CD, and as though I’d read his mind. He popped open the cars glove compartment and took out a thick CD case. A vast array of albums inside, Nevis was proud of his collection. Perhaps overly proud. He believed his identity lay within the tracks, it defined him as well as gave meaning to his life.

“Breaking Benjamin, here we go,” the CD pops into the player as though being slowly slobbered by it, the digitised interface flashing with a retro orange text stating, ‘Track 1’.

“Rain rain go away, come again another day…”

The man hums along to the song.

The rain lets up ever so slightly, revealing more of the road ahead.

(Will continue…)

A mysterious figure hitches a ride during an intense storm. His face in the glare of the headlight sent shivers down my spine. His body shielded by a mess of fabric consisting of a hood and sleeves draped down to the ground. The light was so low it was impossible to tell where he ended and the road began. Riders on the storm started playing in my head “there’s a killer on the road” he stood with such indifference for the traffic only glancing up to meet the drivers eyes with a look of death. “if you let this man inside sweet family will die”. Who could this man be, what would have to happen for someone to end up standing on the side of the road in such a storm? The rain bouncing off of his jacket in the glow of the headlights became a symphony of mystery and unknown beauty. Was he lost? Did he get kicked out of another car? Where was his luggage? Surely he would need some sort of baggage we aren’t near anywhere but sleazy motels and dive bars. . .What is in his trench coat?. . .All questions I plan to never see know the answer to. As we passed I caught a glimpse of him in the tail lights, painted red in the glow of the bulbs I saw the image of the devil, startled I jumped and rubbed my eyes. I didn’t want to look back I didn’t want it to be real I didn’t want that fear. I looked back and to my shock I saw nobody there just an empty road I must have imagined it I assured myself and I believed myself until I saw the same man a mile ahead getting picked up by a mini van. He flashed me a sinister smile as I drove by. “Don’t give this man a ride sweet family will die” the song continued.

The radio plays in the background, going in and out of static interruption. The storm seems to be getting stronger. Natasha has been driving all night. It might be a good time to pull off somewhere, but where, she thinks. Taking the scenic route doesn’t always have its advantages. This time being one of them. And to think she would’ve already made it to her destination if she would’ve just flown like she originally planned. But Natasha has never been one for airplanes. A large strike of lightening flashes before her eyes, followed by a loud boom. The car shakes and Natasha swerves nervously. Nearly going over the ledge, deep into the woods, her car screeches to a halt. Just in front of her there is an sign that reads: lodging 5 miles. Natasha is breathing heavy, not sure what to make of what just happened. It seemed as if the lightening was just inches away. She takes a deep breath and puts her head back against the seats head rest. “This is crazy,” she says under her breath. The rain begins to pour aggressively, making it hard to see. Natasha turns her windshield wipers on high and sees a figure in the distance. Is someone really standing out here in this storm, she wonders. Natasha turns her high beams on to see if she’s just seeing things or if there’s an actual person standing on the side of the road. The person walks towards Natasha’s car. Natasha is nervous, but curious. The person walks up to her window, tapping it lightly. Natasha rolls down the window just a crack. “Are you ok,” Natasha says through the cracked window. “I am now. Do you think you can give me a ride to the nearest motel?” A sultry voice comes from the stranger, definitely not something Natasha was expecting. Natasha looks down the road, nothing. There’s no way for her to know how far the nearest motel is, especially since her phone died 20 minutes ago. She knew the rule that was ingrained in every child, don’t talk to strangers. And she was Pretty sure don’t pick up strangers was on the list too. But Natasha was known for being a sucker when it came to helping people, even when they didn’t deserve it. Natasha sighs, “sure, get in.” She watches the stranger walk across the front of the car, the headlights beaming on her and Natasha still could not make out what the stranger looked like. The door opens. It’s too late now, Natasha thinks, if I’m meant to die than this is it. “Thank you so much,” the stranger says while removing the hood from her head, “I was starting to think i was going to die alone out there.” Natasha glances at her as she speaks, slightly mesmerized by the stranger. How is this a hitchhiker and what on earth was she doing out in the middle of nowhere, alone and in this storm. “My car broke down a little while back, thought I could probably make it to the nearest town if I walked but I guess I was a little over zealous,” the stranger says with a chuckle. “I’m Eva, by the way.” “Natasha.” Natasha is still not sure what to make of this stranger, but she puts the car in drive and takes off. “Do you mind if I turn the radio on?” “I’m not sure there’s much of a signal.” “Oh, no problem. So, where are you from?” How is it possible that this hitchhiker is so upbeat right. She just said that she thought she was going to die out here. “I’m from up North,” Natasha murmurs. “Oh, cool,” the stranger says as she starts to dig through her backpack. Natasha peeks over to see what she’s digging for, nervous that she’s about to pull out a knife and slit her throat. After all, who would ever know. “I was supposed to meet someone, an old friend, but they never showed,” Eva says as she pulls out a joint and lighter from her bag. “Do you mind?” Natasha looks over, not the slightest surprised, “no, go ahead.” This has to be one of the longest roads between towns, how is that even possible? “So what happened to your friend,” Natasha says as she looks down at her dead phone. “I don’t know, maybe she got cold feet. No bother, though, I’ll find her again, the stranger says and she takes a long puff from her joint. “Want some?” “Oh, I probably shouldn’t,” Natasha says while pointing to the steering wheel. Another loud boom and a strike of lightening crashes before them. The car trembles and just as Natasha is about to swerve Eva puts her hand on Natasha’s to steady the car. Natasha looks at Eva in shock. “Sorry, looked like you could use a hand.” “Thanks,” Natasha says while glancing in Eva’s eyes. Her eyes look very familiar to Natasha. “Do I know you from somewhere?” “I’m not sure, do you?” the stranger says in an eerie manner. Just then, a bright light is flickering in the distance. It looks like an old motel sign. Saved, Natasha thinks. The car pulls up into what looks to be an abandoned motel parking lot. The lights flicker in the front of the building, with the letter “L” completely missing from the sign above. Natasha and Eva both step out of the car and head to the front office. Once inside the office, there is nobody there. The coffee machine is covered in dust and the bell to ring for assistance has cobwebs covering it. Eva peeks into the back office while Natasha attempts to ring the bell. It sounds a little dull, so she blows off some of the dust and wipes the cobwebs and attempts to use it again. While doing that, Eva disappears into the back office. “Hey,” Natasha whispers, “hey, I don’t think you should go back there.” Natasha, scared, follows Eva into the dark room. The thunder starts booming loudly as Natasha tries to feel her way around the dark room. “Natasha?” Natasha hears her name being called. Soon the sound of her phone ringing engulfs the room. Natasha heads towards the light, heading back out of dark room, back into the lobby. Smoke has started to fill the lobby. Eva stands at the door, “Natasha, your phone, I thought you said it was dead?” “It is,” Natasha responds confused. She reaches in her back pocket and pulls out her phone. It’s ringing and the name reads: Eva. Natasha looks at Eva and turns the phone towards her, “how,” she says with a tremble in her voice. The smoke starts to completely fill the room. Once the smoke clears the phone is still ringing but it’s now placed on the floor, entangled in shrubbery on the forest floor. Natasha’s hand is stretched out as if she was once holding it. Her body lays half outside of the driver window and her car is upside down. Smoke is filling the inside of the car as the rain pours down aggressively. A sign has gone through the windshield that reads: lodging 5 miles. Natasha lays there with her eyes closed as her phone continues to ring reading: Eva.

The storm rolled in a few hours back, it was the middle of the day, the clouds were dark and heavy with rain it looked closer to midnight. I was stuck coming back from a weekend conference, and looking forward to home, the storm had other ideas. My headlights on high, windshield wipers full blast, and I couldn't see a thing. I thought about pulling over and waiting it out, but how long would that be.

I drove on, not another soul on the road. The radio went static, and even though I had driven this road at least a hundred times before I wasn't sure where I was, or how much further. I slowed, the torrents of water, and gusts of wind made driving difficult.

I looked at the clock, knowing I would have been home by now if it weren't for this storm. I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand, sweat glistened as I pulled it away, my knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel. I pulled over, to get my bearings back. I took a deep breath in trying to relax. Fishing my cell out of my pocket, but as expected, no signal.

Tap... tap... tap.

I thought it was the rain before the passenger side door opened. I turned my head and screamed as a soaking wet hooded figure started to sit down.

"Oh, sorry, sorry, I thought, I am so sorry, I thought you stopped to pick me up, I was hitchhiking right back there," he said pointing behind the car.

"Jeez, I, wow, no, I didn't even see you, you shouldn't be wearing all black when you can't see ten feet in front of you, you are lucky I didn't run you over, man you are soaked," I rambled.

"It's alright man, I can get out, I thought you were gonna help a guy out in this mess," he said, opening the door again. The sound of the rain beating down on the asphalt filled the car.

"Get in, it's fine, you are already in here, I need a minute, it was stressful enough driving in this without someone scaring me to death," I said. "I'm Corbin, and you are?"

"The name is Sam," the stranger said pulling back his hood, to reveal a mop of curly blond hair. He turned to me brushing the hair out of his eyes, and flashing me a brilliant smile before putting his hand out to shake. I had never seen a man so handsome in my life.

I reached my hand out to shake his, "Nice to meet you, so how did you get stuck out there in this?"

We sat in the car, chatting, he told me how he was hitchhiking across the country, working odd jobs here and there, planning on making it to California, and from there he wasn't sure. A loose plan he came up with and thought it would be cool to try out. He had packed up about a week ago and set out with his pack, some food and the small amount he had in his bank account.

I told him about my life, as boring compared to his, working an office job, the conference was the most exciting my job ever got, and it is dry. The more Sam told me about his life, the more I began to admire him, and wished I could have the gall to pick and go like that.

We talked through the storm, and as the rain let up and the clouds parted the sun beamed through the windows. The warmth radiated through the car, I turned to Sam, he smiled back at me, and said, "You can come with me if you want to, you don't have to stay in your boring life."

I looked back at him, his eyes glinting in the sunlight, "I wish, I could."

"You're wish is granted," Sam said snapping his fingers the sound reverberating around the car in a cacophony thunder.

Sam and I have travelled the world now, odd jobs here and there, life has never been boring since.

I feel my home tremble from the ferocity of the storm. The wind may blow my walls down if it really wanted to. I suppose that’s what I get for living in someone’s shed. Do you think I could ask my neighbors to stay in their house until the wind dies down? They are kind folk. I’ll run over to them right now and see what they tell me. Let me just get my essentials; keys, wallet, phone, yup. All good. Time to run over.

I exit my shed, and I close the door behind me. I hate that there’s no cover over the door way; I’m getting all soaked while trying to lock the door. I don’t want to get too wet before getting across the backyard. Alright, door’s locked. Let’s run! Run, run, run! Ahhh, no! This accursed mud; it just caused me to slip, and I am covered in the stuff. There goes my plans for staying at my neighbor’s. I can’t show up at their place looking like this. Back to the shed I guess. Sigh.

I make it back to the shed. The rain was at least kinda helpful. It helped wash off quite a bit of mud. I need to jump into the shower now. I hope the walls don’t blow away while I’m in there. I don’t want to be found naked in the middle of this storm.

I start to undress. I take off my shirt and throw it on the ground. “This stuff is filthy. I might have to throw my clothes away.” I take off my pants, and as I throw them on the ground, I hear a voice.

“Hey, watch it! You can’t just throw me around like that!”

I jump, startled by the voice. I look around, and I see nobody around. There’s no way the voice came from my pants, although it did sound like that’s where that deep voice came from. I decide to pick up my pants, and I throw them on the ground again.

“Are you deaf? Did you not hear me tell you to not throw me around?”

The voice did come from the pants! “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to throw you around, whoever you are. Are you in my pants? I don’t see anybody on them.”

“I am not on your pants. I am your pants. You better not throw me again, and you better get me cleaned right away. I am filthy, covered in that mud from the puddle you decided to dive into.”

“How can you talk? You’ve never talked before, and you never minded the times I threw you into baskets or on the floor.”

“Ahh, well, you see, the storm outside killed a pair of pants earlier tonight, and the soul of those pants, which is my soul, just flew around in the wind. The wind eventually knocked me into your pants while you were running outside, and now, I have been reincarnated as your pair of jeans.”

“Hmm, okay. That checks out. So now what? I wash you, and I just keep on wearing you?”

“No, no. You will wash me, by hand! None of this throwing me into machines to make me dizzy. You will wash me. Then, you will let me hang dry. I don’t appreciate being burned alive. It’s not very comfy. Once I’m dry, you’re going to just leave me hanging by the window so that I can see outside, and on the days I think the world is pretty, I will let you know to wear me out. Sounds good?”

“And why would I do this for you? I just met you, and this seems like too much work for me. Hand washing? I would never!”

“In return for taking care of me as I asked of you, I will swallow anything you want me to, as long as I can reach it with my pockets or legs. You can take me to stores, pass me whatever you want to take home for free, and I will hold on to it for you. There is no limit to what I can hold; these are men’s jeans, so the pockets on these bad boys are infinite.”

“You got yourself a deal! I’ll get to washing you right away, and we are going to have a great time once this storm clears out.”