Libby the librarian skimmed her finger across a sea of bookcases, allowing the leather and hard covers to putter against her skin. In a moment of convergence, of all of the worlds knowledge in a single, peaceful library aisle, Libby thought to herself:

“I really wish fights to the death were legal.”

Her hand walks across the top of a book and push it towards her to reveal its title from the bookshelf. ‘My first love’ by Jenny Alborne.

“I want people to have the right to fight each other until the loser perishes.”

Libby… wtf?

“It would be a whole legal thing where the two fighters have to agree to the battle months before. They can opt out anytime before the day of the fight.”

Libby starts climbing the bookshelf. Wtf? Is she going mad?

“I wonder how that will impact American culture. Big stadiums designed just for primal fighting? God I hope so.”

Libby starts skipping along the bookshelves, hopping from AB-AT to AU-BE.

“I want to fight my arch nemesis. Von halthenburg. Oh how i hate his guts!”

Libby catches a chandelier and starts swinging from it like a freaking baboon type creature.

“Id kill him so quickly. He has weak knees.”

The chandelier snaps and crashes to the ground. Is libby dead? No one knows. The timeline stops there.

The Travelling Medicine Man came to town each year To cure the diseased. He was a beloved man with no foe or fear, Everyone was pleased.

But then one year a patient bit his beloved leg And it fell right off the man. He could no longer travel with a peg. He was then just the Medicine Man.

The Medicine Man was stuck in the village, he could still cure it all. From syphilis to gonorrhea, Fix your tooth after a kick, your leg after a fall, From jaundice to diarrhea.

But then medicine began to fall out of fashion thanks to magic. The market exploded with mages. Anything could be healed by a wand. It was tragic For the doctors and their wages.

The Medicine Man could not afford life in his current position. He switched to a cashier Where he was screamed at by customers about their superstitions. He was then just the Man, oh dear.

The Man lived a decent life until a fateful day in Town Square Where his pants were pulled down. The crowd laughed at The Man as he stood bare, Which caused him to frown.

The Man was stripped of his masculinity, quite literally. Hmmm uhhhh… You can’t really call him The Man, if you think about it really. So now he was just The.

‘The’ End (pun)

Thank you for reading my literature. Your time dedication, and reading ability is significantly appreciated. For this, I must gift you a parting token of my gratitude. Take this star: ⭐️ It will guide you on your journey. I wish you the very best. Ta ta!

Roses in a wheelbarrow, Roses in a wheelbarrow, What if I was a rose in a wheelbarrow, Roses in a wheelbarrow,

I’d be dead.

Do you like it? Not really.

I post this bc theres a gun to my head and i dont wanna become a roses in a wheelbarrow

I know why the caged bird sings. Theyre trying to beat box, But its a bird In a box: Bird boxing.

Drop the bird base. “Bow chick chicka Chicka bow wow! I am a bird In the sky I do a turd Thats why why why 🤠🎵🎵”

All the ladies swoon for Lil’ Feather. Dripped out in bird bling. Join his flock for a chance to received a signed copy of his latest album: “Cluck City.”

I found my parents old love letters. Lets look through them mkay?

The first one reads “i love you frank! From charlie.”

Then franks all like “i love you charlie! From frank.”

Wow it really seems like they love each other. I should go now.

Wait whats this little slip of paper peeping from under the stack. Its another note!

“Dear frank, i have a terrible secret to share with you. I am a vampire! From charlie.”

“Dear charlie, im cool with that. Its actually kind of hot. You can eat up my blood all you want, sugar monster. From frank.”

“Aw thanks man. But I’m really hungry. If i suck all your blood at once you’ll die!”

“Then we can have children and you can suck their blood while they sleep.”

OH MY GOOODNESS WHAT!!!!!!

The acne on my neck… are actually vampire bites?? Egads! This complicates my typical view of love!

I am really shy. Then my body coils up in a very grotesque way. Almost inhuman. The consciousness of me and my favorite reality TV star are swapped, and my body goes through a disgusting transition. It like turns into blubber or some kind of paste. Its revolting. I dont even know why I am telling you this.

So my body gets swapped into this famous TV star. Her name is Taylor Swift. My name is Bethany Sanchez. Hello!

Honestly I dont really mind all the cameras in my face. Including the camera that gets shoved down my throat. I guess Taylor Swift scheduled an upper endoscopy today.

The thing I’m really worried about is what Taylor Swift is doing to MY body. She might be going crazy and treating my body like a rag doll! She might think she’s in a dream and pinch herself. What if that gives my body a bruise?! Oh what disarray! I wish this body swap never happened!

Bad ending

Then it. It, then. It, then. Until finally, the chill.

Three heads tire themselves mercilessly as they each lay their heavy heads in bed. Another day awaits ahead as the bickering trickles throughout the night.

The brainiac runs on logic and fallacy, for which he cannot know completely for sure which one is which. A discussion of a previous project prevents another minute of peace and quiet.

One scolds him for his insipidity, for this head is in love with the idea of love. A whimsical romance between two love bugs with events so imperfectly perfect for them to be. He imagines himself say ‘I could have never imagined this.’

Another head flips on a dime, chiming in and toying with the thought, but also tracking the time to say ‘we ought to sleep,’ for the strategist wears the glasses of a million outcomes.

The logician grows angry, jealous that the day planner may be brighter than himself, and the daydreamer grumbles, furrowing his brow at the interruption of his story.

‘Your attention is as divided as we are,’ the logician’s head says to his provocateur. ‘You plan for everything, which gives you time to plan for nothing.’

The strategist denies the claim, being unaware that in his mind a world is conjured, one which he plans for nothing and wastes his life away.

The daydreamer, compelled to fit the role of mediator, lashes his vulgar tongue for the other two to get along. The brainiac turns offended to think someone else is in control while the day planner insists of his importance.

The night wanes as the warmth of their sheets equals the heat of their arguments. I lie awake, only to listen, just for a moment.

Dear Richard, Is that you down there in that sewage pipe? I keep hearing someone screaming

Sincerely, Lubby Surface Dweller ————————— Dear Lubby, Hey dude! I fell down in the sewer and can’t get out!

Best regards, Richard Stuck in a sewer ————————— Dear Richard, Huh. Whats it like down there?

Lubby ————————— Dear Lubby, It’s alright I guess. I’m meeting new people, err rats I guess. Also I’m getting better at throwing paper airplanes up the sewage drain so you can read my messages.

Thanks for throwing down that stack of paper. I’m using half of it for toilet paper. Im a poopy boy!

Richard ————————— Dear Richard, I can tell. Your last message had a poop stain on it.

Lubby ————————— Dear Lubby, That wasn’t me I swear!!! Please believe me!! ————————— Richard, You sweat when you lie, and this message is soaked in it. Just admit you pooped. ————————— Lubby, I’d rather die in a sewage pipe ————————— Richard, Well have a good life i guess ————————— Ok fine I used it as toilet paper. I forgot I did, but i wrote a message on it and didnt want to use up another piece of paper. ————————— Thanks for being honest. This is why i like being friends with you. Do you want me to get you out? ————————— Not really. I dont want to go into work tomorrow. Can you bring me some McDonalds? ————————— Of course buddy. I love you!! ————————— Do you happen to know the current happy meal toy line? ————————— They have Squishmallow toys ————————— Get me one. I taped 10 bucks to this note ————————— Richard why does the bill have a poop stain on it… ————————— … its feels better on my butt ————————— Bruh

Then it was created. It danced, then skated. It peppered, then salted. Until finally, the chill halted.