As a child everyithing seemed bigger than it actually was. Even people looked like they were as tall as buildings! Or, well, maybe not quite as tall but almost! She wondered if her grandpa was thinking the same thing about her, because she was so small compared to all the people in the room. He was smiling and telling her a story about her daddy, when he was as small as she was now and she had to laugh at the images that came to her mind. Daddy was funny now, but back then he was really silly! She clapped her hands, asking for another story and grandpa laughed with her.
He remembered the times he held his son like this, next to him, talking abou everything and nothing, laughing and enjoying their time together. He remembered Marina‘s look and her fond smile whenever she found them giggling madly about the stupidest stories. Looking at his granddaughter he felt old and young at the same time. Old, because she had grown so much in such a short time (which hadn’t really been short, just felt like it) and he could still remember the day she was born, the look of pure awe and adoration on his son‘s face when he held her in his arms for the first time. But also young because he was reminded of his own child and the hours of joy that came with their birth.
Goldy jumped on the sofa and joined the little human, sitting on her lap and animating her to pet him by looking up at the both of them. The bigger human nudged her hand and she began petting him slowly, still laughing while the other human talked on and on, with his calming voice. Goldy closed his eyes, feeling warm and content, surrounded by people who cared about him and each other.
The night was colder and darker than I was used to, my breath a white fog in front of me. I took another step, stopped right in front of the riverbank and kneeled, so I could take a better look.
I was breathing heavily. Walking all this way with no break took it‘s toll on my body. My eyes felt heavy but I kept on staring and then I saw it.
A glowing light appeared in the water.
It was small and dim at first but with every second it grew brighter until it was brilliantly golden and I felt like I could hope again.
"Hello." I said. The light broke the surface and a little creature looked at me with huge, fishy eyes in a tiny face. It was as small as my thumb, with small razor-sharp teeth in an equally tiny mouth.
"Hello." They answered. "How may we help you?"
I showed them my ring. "Help me find the one who gave me this.“
The tiny creature raised it‘s head to take a good look, touched and smelled it. Then they nodded, glowed even brighter than before and licked their lips. Those eyes looked hungry, as deep and dark as the water beneath them had there not been the ethereal glow.
"What will you give us in return?“
I stared right back. No turning back. I was going to do it. No matter how out of control my heartbeat was.
I was going to find them.
No matter the cost.
It was quiet. And dark.
I was exhausted. Just so -
Staring out the window, looking at the trees, hidden in the mist. Only silhouettes of naked arms in a dark, empty forest.
My eyes were burning. But I kept on looking.
I had to.
Although, there was nothing to see.
No one but me. Only trees for miles and the mist that made my skin feel like tiny bugs were walking on me.
I yawned. I was just so tired.
Sleep. Needed sleep.
But I couldn‘t. Not yet.
She wasn‘t here yet.
I kept on staring out the window, biting my fingernails and leaning back in the chair. This was important. I had to wait for her.
I needed to know if she made it.
Because if she hadn‘t and I fell asleep -
And our last conversation would stay an angry one.
My eyes were getting heavier with every minute.
"Don‘t." I whispered to myself, hoping that the sound of my own voice would keep me awake. "I can‘t. Not now."
It was silent again. No noise. Everything was so quiet.
As if the world had stopped and every life with it. And wasn‘t that true?
I blinked and stared at a point in the sky where a light had suddenly appeared.
"You made it...?" I whispered. My hands started shaking as the light grew bigger and flew towards the ground, right in front of the house.
There she was.
Just as beautiful and strong as the day she left.
She smiled, nodded. And I started crying because she made it and everything would be better from now on.
The world was saved.
This was it. The end of a life I never learned to love.
A life that brought me nothing more than pain, full of people that don‘t care about me because the only one that did had died a few months ago.
Without her I had no reason left to keep living this life. It hurt. And I wasn‘t strong enough to continue like this.
This was it, I thought again and took a deep breath. This was the end of my story.
“Excuse me? Hello!“ a voice called after me. I was just going to let go of the bridge as I startled and my grip strengthened. Now I could hear footsteps approaching, a fast but not hasty rhythm, accompanied by the sound of high heels.
I glanced to the side, my heart beating faster due to my shock and surprise. It was the middle of the night, in a village no one who didn’t live here knew by name. Meeting someone here and at the exact same moment I wanted to end my life was a hell of a coincidence.
A woman was approaching me. Although the light of the street lamp was already illuminating us enough, there was something about her that made her seem to light up from the inside. She seemed brighter than she should be.
I blinked and shook my head. Now that was impossible and definitely due to my lack of sleep, I thought.
She stopped right next to me and smiled.
"Hello, El.“ she said and I felt my heart skip a beat. My hands began to sweat as I shook my head.
"You can‘t stop me. I made my decision.“
She continued to smile and I realized suddenly how beautiful she was. Her long, dark hair was moving although there was no wind to move it. The clothes she wore were well cared for and seemed to be made for her.
But her eyes were her most beautiful feature. They seemed to change their color with every move she made.
I stared at her without meaning to.
"I need your help, El.“ she continued. "I‘m Venus. The Goddess of Love. And I have been looking for you for a long time now."
Right. Of course.
"And you are the only one who can stop the Apocalypse.“
I stared at her with an open mouth. She seemed serious, just kept on smiling like I was something she had been looking for all her life.
Well. If I was to believe her story I apparently was something she had been searching for a while now.
I turned my head, looked down at the water and tried to decide if I should just ignore her and jump.
Or maybe indulge her for today? I could still end everything tomorrow.
I looked at her again. She was now holding out her hands, still with a smile on her face but this time it was softer. More understanding.
I made my decision. My hands let go.
Well, to be honest, I kind of expected a situation like this when I woke up this morning. It just felt like one of these days where you would rather stay at home and avoid conflict because you knew nothing would go your way. Obviously I did not expect this exact situation because how could I have guessed that? But something similar? Just as bad when it came to the consequences?
Sure. Why not? I mean, hey, my life had been turning into a living hell for the last few weeks but something had been missing to make this disaster complete! So why not add murder to the stuff I have to deal with?
I stared at the corpse and thought about what I could possibly do to turn this disaster into a win for me.
Having a dead body in my living room was definitely not ideal. Especially because said dead body was murdered with one of the trophies I was so proud about. Putting them on display like that certainly did not seem as good of an idea now.
I sighed and closed my eyes. My feet hurt and the headache I had gotten rid of decided to come back stronger than before. I was exhausted.
A buzzing sound made me turn around and grab the phone I had left on the dinner table on my way in.
”Hello?“ I answered.
“Okay, I know this doesn‘t look good but I swear I can explain!“ he said. I groaned and rolled my eyes.
“Josh, if you killed this man in my living room and just left him here because you didn‘t want to deal with the paper work, I swear to God, I will end you.“
He was quiet for a few moments. With everything he put me through I felt like a second death was the only outcome. This time final.
No second rising in the foreseeable future.
”I panicked!“ he whined. “Jin, he attacked me! I was defending myself! I thought I was going to die!“
“Unprovoked? Why would a human do that? And what where you doing in MY living room?“
“...I didn‘t want to bring him to my flat because Fluffy‘s staying there right now. And you know how she feels about humans.“ he answered and yeah, alright, Fluffy should definitely not be around humans after that situation ten years ago. Still didn‘t explain why he was meeting this guy and what exactly happened. I told him as much and he continued.
“We met at the shed and I thought he was one of us, you know. He said he could get me a toe if I wanted to complete my set but he needed a secure place to make the calls so I brought him to your place!“
“And then he attacked you?“ I asked and took a closer look at the body, pushing his sleeves up to see his wrists.
And there it was. The tattoo.
Dead guy was a Zombie Hunter.
I Miss The Days - NF
(warning: depression, anxiety are mentioned (Just to be safe))
I miss the days when everything I worried about was not being late to school and remembering all my friends‘ birthdays.
I miss the days when I wasn‘t constantly thinking about how much of a disappointment I was to my parents.
I miss the days when my anxiety didn‘t make me question every decision I made.
I miss the days when I was excited about growing up and graduating, starting my life.
I miss the days when I didn‘t spend my nights overthinking my life and questioning why I am even alive.
I miss the days when I dreamed big and didn‘t think about limits.
Now I‘m scared to make decisions because they could be wrong.
Now everyone I know and love has this expectant look in their eyes that makes me feel small and scared.
Now I don‘t know what to say when people ask me what I want.
How do you tell them that you didn‘t expect to come this far? That you didn‘t plan this far ahead because you expected to fail and sometimes hoped to die?
I don‘t want to talk to them about all these topics because I don‘t know how to express these feelings in a way they could understand.
So I listen to music and all these artists who put their feelings out in the open and talk about what I‘m feeling.
They say what I can‘t and sometimes I hope that the people around me listen closely and understand so I don‘t have to explain these feelings inside me that make me feel so vulnerable.
Josh stared hopefully at me. I frowned and thought about how I could have spent my time had I not agreed to go with him.
Although he was a nice guy to be around most of the time, he could sometimes be as annoying as a child not getting their will.
I stared down at his three feet and noticed a gap on the middle foot. He wasn‘t lying about needing a big toe. But was I in the mood for the paper work that came with taking limbs? No, definitely not.
So I shook my head and stayed stubborn.
“Not tonight. Definitely not tonight.“ I said and that was it for me.
Josh stared at me with wide eyes and a weird twist to his mouth. “Please? Pretty please?“ he said and I stared at him for using that weird high tone. Was he pouting? Was that what he was doing right now? Unbelievable.
“No!“ I said and turned back to the corpse lying next to us. A few flies had gathered around his glassy eyes and I sighed at the prospect of carrying a big deadweight to the nearest shed.
No more favors for Josh, I swore.
“Maybe I could take his toe and then put something else there to make it look like he still has one?“ Josh tried again.
I stared him down until he grabbed the guy and hoisted him up on on his shoulder. He was definitely pouting.
“You‘re honestly no fun.“ he said and I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I can live with that.“ I answered back and checked his hold on the guy.
“Let‘s go. I want to be back before Fluffy ruins everyone‘s mood.“
He grumbled something to himself and started moving towards the forest where we came from.
I followed him with a sigh.
It would take us maybe an hour on foot to reach the shed. But this way we were less likely to be heard by humans and avoiding them was one of the big rules.
As we reached the first trees I threw a last look over my shoulder. It was dark and my three eyes were nothing special but I could swear I saw a silhouette on the street next to a car. I frowned and tried to make out if it was a human and started to turn to Josh to ask him if he was seeing them too when they walked away.
I blinked and scratched my nose. Well, that was weird. Probably didn‘t see us then, I thought.
“Jin, are you coming?“ Josh asked.
I turned back and followed him into the forest.
Just another night in the life of a zombie.
I was picking at my fingernails as the elevator moved slowly downwards.
I felt anxious. Agitated.
The elevator had started moving roughly an hour ago and I was already losing my cool. What if I did something wrong while I was down there? What if I got left there? The elevator seemed to move even slower as my breathing got heavier. I was panicking.
"No worries.“ The angel said over the speakers. "No need to be afraid.“
I stared at the ceiling and thought about how easy it was to say something like that when you didn‘t have to worry about spending eternity in Hell.
No worries, I thought and frowned.
"Almost there.“ The angel said. They sounded even more bored than before. I ignored them. They weren‘t helpfull at all.
With a look at the mirrored wall I took a deep breath.
"One day.“ I whispered. "It‘s only one day.“
The elevator slowed down, this time not only in my imagination and I prayed for a last time. I turned around, looked forward at the doors and waited.
"Your day in Hell begins as soon as you set a foot outside the elevator.“ The angel explained. "After twenty-four hours you will come back here. As soon as you get in the elevator a second time, you will be brought to the Gates of Heaven. Understood?“
"Understood.“ I answered. My try to sound more confident failed as my voice cracked. I coughed quietly and took another deep breath.
The angel sighed. "Listen,...“ They said slowly. "This is honestly not going to be as bad as you might think. Sure, it‘s not Heaven, but it‘s not like your going to be tortured or anything!“
I looked at the ceiling and raised an eyebrow. Were they still talking about Hell? Did angels experience this place differently than humans?
"I know it sounds weird but you‘ll be alright, I promise.“ They continued and for the first time since I had set foot in this elevator I felt reassured. "You have a good soul. You‘ll be fine.“
I nodded and closed my eyes. Another deep breath.
The elevator stopped and with a quiet sound the doors opened.
"Welcome to Hell.“ The angel said and now they sounded bored again.
I opened my eyes, expecting to see a world bathed in flames with demons walking around and humans screaming while being tortured. Instead I looked into an office with a few dozen cubicles and just as many people sitting at them.
In front of the opened doors stood a demon. They looked human just with added horns and a tail with sharp spikes and a grin, too wide and sharp to belong to one of my kind.
“Welcome to Hell!“ They said excitedly and extended their hand.
They kept on grinning so I gave them my hand and let them lead me out of the elevator and further into the room.
My first day in Hell had officially began.
