A lump formed in my throat, tears welling in the corner of my eyes at the scene before me. This was real, reality, my reality. And he was gone, going to go. If the suitcase in his hand was any indication of his decision, before he’d even told me, before… we even talked.

I feel like an idiot, I showed up to his home, and of course he’d let me in, but it was so empty, and devoid of the life that resided here. He was talking to me, but I wasn’t hearing him. I saw his lips moving, but I could only take in the scene before me, the suitcase, the empty living room.

“So you’ve decided you’re going to go?” I asked, not missing the waver in my voice and I’m sure he’d heard it as well, I could feel my lip trembling, my heart beating rapidly in my chest, I heard a crack, though I suppose that was just my heart.

I looked into his chocolate brown eyes as he looked into mine, my left arm holding my right, recoiling from any space he was closing between us.

“I have to, for my family, and I know work will be better over there. But I haven’t been there for my family as much as I’ve wanted to and now I have the chance and I’m going to take it.” He told me, his voice was soft and warm, rolling over my body in a sort of calmness.

A small smile pulled at the corner of my lips. He was so family oriented, and the way he treated his little siblings or other little kids he saw in public, well, I’d never wanted kids before but with this man… I could definitely give it a thought for him. I know he wants kids.

I nod and lowered my head to the wooden floor, this was his last bag that’s going in the moving truck. And I thought if coming over here, I could’ve reversed everything. How naïve.

“I know. And I’m happy for you, you deserve this and I know you love your family. As long as you’re happy.” It was true, I wanted him to be happy, but I also wanted him to be with me.

But I was only a chapter in his life, a very short one, I’ve only been in his life for - what? - six months at this point? And while we’ve talked about how attracted we are to each other, his family has been in his life forever. And he can’t love a person who isn’t as family oriented as he is.

“I love you.” I felt a tear spill down my cheek.

I reminisced over his hands on me, my skin, how he’d hold me, touch me, sleeping with me, besides me. Goosebumps prickled at my skin at themere thought of his hands, how he treated me, take me out and pay for me. Escort me. I long for his arms around me, his lips on mine.

“I thought we weren’t doing love,” it was a joke, he was trying to make me feel better. Even now, with the mourning of the room, he was trying to make me feel better.

You see, it wasn’t supposed to end like this. It was purely physical, we were attracted to each other, but we couldn’t be together. I wasn’t ready and… I’m a terrible person. Ha… I was with someone…

I must’ve been too silent for his liking because in one swift step, he was close to me. He lifted my chin to meet my eyes once more, “Bri… we weren’t supposed to go this far. I’m sorry, but it was purely physical, what we were doing. I want you to move on from me. I’m gonna be five states away and we can’t make that work.”

I felt his words cutting the last strands of my heart. I thought.. I thought for sure that he loved me, that after a while of doing things with each other, he’d accidentally fallen with me as well. I heard the thump of my heart as it fell with each echo of his words, twirling around my mind.

“Right, no, you’re right. I’m sorry. Um,” I wiped the tears from my eyes, blinking back more tears and looking around the empty room, with a deep breath to bring myself back.

He was right, I’ve ruined a life, and perhaps my own for him, but we weren’t even supposed to make it physical. I couldn’t help myself, after nine months of absolutely nothing from my partner, my partner always shutting down and not even talking to me when I’ve tried to talk to the issue and his promises ringing my mind…

“I’m sorry, you’re right. You were always going to go. You need to go, even. Uh, I’m gonna.. gonna go. Stop bugging you. Right. Um. I’m sorry.” My words were tumbling as I looked down and without looking back, walked to my car, unlocking it.

I wanted to hear him call for me, to feel him on me one last time, it felt cruel to have the sun so bright, the grass so green, the sky so blue, the sidewalk so clean, when I could feel myself shutting down, my skin feeling numb.

I was sitting in my car, looking out, staring at the scenery of houses and scattered trees and flowerbeds. I wanted to drive off, but I couldn’t. I felt stuck, and I watched the sun pinken the sky as it set behind clouds and the promise of another night rise.

05/12/2024 Dear diary, I’m sorry, I feel the need to apologize right off the bat because I probably won’t be keeping track of this but let’s give it a try. I’ve never owned a diary in my life, but I’ve started seeing a therapist and she’s told me to start keeping a diary because my memory issues worry her. It would worry me as well if I hadn’t been living like this for what seems like my entire life. I wonder if she’ll look through this at all? Ah, let me shut up and introduce myself to you! Hello, diary, my name is Ella, I’m 20 years old and I… don’t remember much about my life? I don’t have memories from like 9 years and under… though, even the memories past 9 are hardly there. So let’s find out who I am, I guess. Out, Ella.

05/13/2024 Dear diary, Ugh! The pain I’m in is so unbelievable! Work was a literal nightmare! I’m so tired, but I’m glad I stayed up to write in this diary, I mean… I’m tryna keep a streak going, ya know? Goddamn. Uh I actually don’t know what to tell you? Hm. You know, I keep tryna think about my past but nothing really comes to me, it’s just bits and pieces. The dark, a park, my mom? Ah. Maybe I shouldn’t worry about it. But isn’t this why my therapist wants me to keep a diary? Well, maybe not to dig up my past. Hm. Maybe I should ask if she could hypnotize me, sometimes it’s frustrating not being able to remember. Ah well, whatever. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day, work shouldn’t be terrible. Or maybe it will, who knows? Who cares. I’m so tired… Did I eat? Hm. Well, peace, Ella.

05/14/2024 Dear diary, Shrug emoticon here? Maybe tomorrow… I’m so tired. Heh. You… don’t care about that, I’m sorry. I wonder what you’d say to me if you could talk? Probably “what is this dumb broad doin? Can’t even spell, terrible grammar, woe is me bitch” Well, that was amusing. Fín, Ella.

“Hey, so I only got a few minutes, like maybe ten minutes and unfortunately, just like those demigods in your book, I can’t totally give you a straight answer, but I can give you a prophecy of sorts,” there was an awkward smile on her face, she looked so ridiculous with these big gauges, I couldn’t help but to gawk.

“If you’re me, tell me something that only I know.” I challenged her. She hardly looks like me, and the idea of my future self coming to the present made my head hurt.

“I’m here, aren’t I? I knew exactly where to find you. We never did see many people around here.” She cocked an eyebrow at me, I could feel my cheeks redden but I wouldn’t back down, either.

I looked around, at the trees and the stream below my feet. While she was right, there never did seem to be many people here, this also was just a few minutes off the hiking path in the local woods. I’m sure it wouldn’t be difficult to find. “Anyone can find this place, I’ve already beaten a path to this place.” I countered, a smirk on my face now, sure that she wouldn’t be able to prove she was me and she was just a crazy person living in a delusioned state.

She looked to the ground. It took about five minutes, but she managed, “I know about your wrestle with her every night. It’s going to happen again tonight and it’s only going to get worse from here.” Did she have to sound so ominous?

I feel my mouth tugging in a frown at the corner of my mouth. I thought about the many, many times a professional lady would show up to the door, saying they were from DCF, I’m sure the neighbors noticed things. And I didn’t really know many of them. “That doesn’t prove anything. You just sound vague, if anything.”

She shrugged, “I guess you can take it with a grain of salt. But listen, I came here to warn you… Don’t wake in the land with no trees On your treacherous journey, you’ll come across many wonders that you may not touch One will die, one will prevail Open your eyes to the world around you.”

Oookay that was the most ominous thing I’ve heard. I huffed, “is this supposed to help me? If you’re really me, then why come back now?” I demanded, a sneer on my lips. She expects me to just believe whatever she says? Just because she seemed to appear out of thin air, leaning against a skateboard and saying that she’s me from the future, I’m supposed to just what? Believe that she’s here to help?

“Well, you’ll understand. When the time is right. You won’t be here for long, give it another two years, but take my warning, remember it, here, I’ve written it for you,” she produced a pink sticky note with the same words she’d spoken wrote unevenly and messy. My handwriting. “Just, please… open your eyes… maybe life will…” she winced as if she were about to say something she wasn’t supposed to.

I stared at the sticky note in my hand. This was my handwriting, chicken scratch, uneven, half cursive, half printed. I felt a whirl of confusion. Was this person actually me? 8 or 9 years from now? I could feel anger rising in my chest, “what the hell is this?” I demanded. She comes here, expecting me to take her as she is and not the crazy person she looks with the spiky, colored hair and nose pierced in four different ways.

“I’m sorry. I wish I could but there’s going to be some things that happen that I can’t interfere with. I know this is so difficult. But Nyx, I need you to take this and with time, I hope things can change.”

A chord broke in my heart and I felt a warmth I’ve never felt before, “how do you know that name? I haven’t told…” a million questions run through my head, but it seems our time is running short. She was fiddling with her fingers, running them across her jeans. Looking down, I realized I was tapping my own pants as well. She knew about my nightly battle, and knew about my name.

“I’m you, remember? That barn isn’t abandoned, by the way. I know what your plans are, obviously you don’t go through with one of them. Sometimes, I wish we did… heh, sorry, but your first plan doesn’t work well.” She tilted her head in thought, “I only have a few minutes, take that sticky note, remember it, keep it close.”

Maybe she really is me? “Why do we travel with skateboard? Isn’t a car better?” I couldn’t help myself, I can’t even skate right now so how does that make sense that we learn to skate quicker than learning to drive?

She grinned, the first full grin I’ve seen. “It’s the best gift that we receive and way faster than any car.” She pushed the skateboard to the ground, putting her right foot on the board, “well, remember to open your eyes. And stay strong. And good luck with tonight’s battle.” A pained expression wore on her face before she kicked off and suddenly, she was gone. That skateboard really is fast.

Well, now I’ve got a sticky note, and a timeline. A timeline to what, though? And do I really wanna be so gullible to believe that my future self took a skateboarding ride to the present- or… past… to give me- what? A prophecy? A warning? Maybe I should just discard the sticky note…

But she knew my name. I definitely didn’t tell anyone that name, I.. hate my true name, my birth name, and I want that name to be mine. And the barn, I was going to scope that out tomorrow… no one knew I wanted to create a plan to run away.. or have an.. well, expiration date.

But two years before things were set into motion? Don’t wake in the land without trees? What did that mean? And I go on a journey? Or is it one of those metaphors? Where it’s just life. Land without trees… maybe a desert? But what does open my eyes mean?

I groan in frustration and walk home, keeping my eyes to the ground. Sometimes she wished we were dead. I was hoping that life would just get better like people keep telling me, but she’s me aged 8 or 9 years and even she wished we’d gone through with it sometimes. Obviously our future is grim.

What would happen if I just took off running? To the streets? Inside the home that loomed before me, I could hear my brother and sister yelling at each other, before a big bang followed and I ran inside, my heart pounding.

Heart pounding in her ears, her breathing felt shallow, all around her she saw flashes of blue and white bustling around, monitors beeping and screeching in her ears. Her eyes were wide and dazed, staring at a spot in the distance, just above the nurses station, staring but not seeing, her leg bouncing rapidly against the bed, chattering noises blending with the machine’s screeching and phones ringing. She got up abruptly, startling the officer that had started to doze off in his chair. There really was no place for her to go, two officers stood with their backs to the door just outside and the one she originally came with sat in a chair in the corner of the room, so instead, she paced. Despite her protesting legs and aching feet, she could feel bile rising in her throat, making her breathing become rapid. Why had she been here so long? Why wasn’t anyone seeing her? Why did she have to be prisoner in her hospital room when her kidnapper was an officer roaming free? She hadn’t even been questioned yet, what was he waiting for? “Hey, whoa. What’s going on?” There was his soothing voice again. It was almost enough to ground her and stop her pacing. Almost. Her pacing slowed but with her chest still heaving with panic, she felt irritable not going faster, not running. She realized she hadn’t spoken a word when she heard his voice again. “Hey, it’s okay, remember? You’re with me, we’re at the hospital, just waiting for the doctor.” The way he stood you’d guess he was staring down a wild animal that could and would attack if he’d made the wrong move. And maybe he wasn’t totally wrong, but given what she’d been through and has yet to be treated for, she wouldn’t be able to make a deadly attack before bullets went through her. “I can’t stand here any longer, where are my parents? Why aren’t the nurses doing their tests? Why haven’t I been questioned yet? He’s out there, an officer, roaming free! Why am I still here?” Before she’d realized it, all her fears came tumbling out as if his soothing voice had put a spell on her, a truthing spell, and her lip was trembling now, tears pricked the corner of her eyes. She definitely didn’t mean to say all that out loud and rapidly. “I know, and I’m sorry. You have been here a while, let me go see how long they’ll be. I don’t want to question you until you’ve been seen and treated.” His response was so calm, mixing with how gentle and melodic his voice was, it was enough to stop her pacing and her breathing to go back to normal, while she watched the officer that she’d gained attached to leave the door and mumble something to the officers at the door before disappearing into the linoleum lights and blue and white bustling.

My heart sank to my stomach. “Oh, no.” I realized the grief stricken words came out of my mouth when I see her demeanor change from shock to outrage. She was right to feel that way, but this was why I had taken a gap year. Okay, well, it wasn’t the original reason, but it was why my gap year had been a little longer than a year. I don’t think any of us have the insight to realize how much of an asshole they were right after graduation. “You?” She demanded and I felt a meager smile on my face. “I… I guess.” It sounded sheepish coming out of my mouth. “No, absolutely not, I can’t-“ I don’t know what came over me but I had cut her off. “Wait, I know it’s much too little and way too late, but I’m sorry, I was a total asshole to you and so were my friends and you didn’t deserve that. I’m not gonna make excuses or expect you to forgive me, so I’m going to go down to the RA’s office and ask to switch. And I’m sorry again.” I noticed her eyes had softened but I lowered mine to the floor as I picked my bags up and turned to the door. “By the way, your art is amazing and I’m glad you kept going despite my bullying.” With that, I left for the RA’s office.

Two hours later and I’ve come back up the stairs with what I assume to be the most apologetic look anyone’s seen. It took a few minutes of back and forth with the RA, before two hours of different kinds of searching like empty dorms, people who don’t have roommates yet, people who were also looking to switch roommates, with no luck. Until further notice, we were stuck with each other. Despite having my own key to the dorm, I knocked on the door following with, “it’s me.” Gaining no response, I opened the door after a moment of silence to her putting her clothes away, though turning to me as she noticed the door opening. With a sigh, I keep my eyes to the floor. “I’m sorry, but there’s not another option for me. I’ll stay out of your way the best I can and I think I can buy those Japanese slider changer doors to put in the of the-“ It was her turn to cut me off, my face burning with embarrassment as my ears were filled with her giggling. “It’s okay, we can try to make this work in any case. I’m willing to give it a shot, anyways.” She was smiling at me and I gave her a curt nod before putting my bags on my side of the room, ready to start settling in.

My heart sank to my stomach. “Oh, no.” I realized the grief stricken words came out of my mouth when I see her demeanor change from shock to outrage. She was right to feel that way, but this was why I had taken a gap year. Okay, well, it wasn’t the original reason, but it was why my gap year had been a little longer than a year. I don’t think any of us have the insight to realize how much of an asshole they were right after graduation. “You?” She demanded and I felt a meager smile on my face. “I… I guess.” It sounded sheepish coming out of my mouth. “No, absolutely not, I can’t-“ I don’t know what came over me but I had cut her off. “Wait, I know it’s much too little and way too late, but I’m sorry, I was a total asshole to you and so were my friends and you didn’t deserve that. I’m not gonna make excuses or expect you to forgive me, so I’m going to go down to the RA’s office and ask to switch. And I’m sorry again.” I noticed her eyes had softened but I lowered mine to the floor as I picked my bags up and turned to the door. “By the way, your art is amazing and I’m glad you kept going despite my bullying.” With that, I left for the RA’s office.

A tear fell down her cheek as she slowly laid in the grass, her arms outstretched, taking in the falling sun, while she caught her breath. Her chest rose and fell rapidly and another tear soon followed the first. Then another, and soon, sobs were racking her body.

She was sure she was safe. She’d been running, running far and fast, and now she could feel the pain in the soles of her bare feet, the ache in her legs, and the pounding on her head. She wasn’t sure where she was, but it must’ve been hours since she’d escape, as the sun was high in the sky when she first started her journey.

The adrenaline that was pumping through her was fading, leaving her feeling weak and vulnerable, while thoughts caught up to her. What if he found her again? What if she wasn’t as far as she thought and he could still find her and bring her back?

The lull of the grasshoppers, and the birds, and the owl was suppressing her panic, the ground felt so nice and comfortable underneath her frail body. And she sobbed. How long had she been gone? Were her parents still looking for her? Did they forget about her?

She knew it must’ve been a year, or somewhere near there because of what he’d put her through, and the grief that followed shortly thereafter, but she had no idea how long she’d been trapped before that whole… before that happened.

She could feel the dirt crawling up her legs, she felt disgusting knowing there was dirt all over her body, but somehow, the tears made her face feel cleaner. A smile broke out on her face, the first one she’d have since this all began. She had no idea who he was, only that he told her to call him daddy or there would be consequences. Unfortunately, she learned what those consequences were.

Even more so unfortunately, she calling him daddy didn’t stop him from hurting her or isolating her. She sniffled and looked to the sky, another sob racking her shivering body, as she felt the air around her grow colder while she watched the moon start to take its place in the sky.

Then she heard it, in the distance. There. Slowly, she sat up, scanning her surroundings but all she saw was patches of grass and trees. She knew there had to have been a road somewhere close by, she couldn’t have possibly been hearing those sirens if it wasn’t.

Wiping her face, she used both her hands to help her stand up again, straining to listen what direction it was coming from and while she had little to no energy, the adrenaline came rushing back, and she took off in the direction she heard the ambulance coming from. Or maybe it was a police siren. Either way, it was help.

With branches and thorns scratching her legs, gravel and little broken glass cutting her feet, she tore down a path and soon stumbled over a bush, tumbling onto the hard ground below her, but she quickly shot up to her feet, looking around for the saving grace.

She frowned, she could hear it but she wasn’t seeing it.. she walked further up, and relief flooded through her as she saw the police car coming down the hill. She waved her arms and screamed, “Please, help me, please!” She could barely recognize her own voice, but she was thankful the police had stopped at the bottom of the hill for her.

Whether they stopped because of her desperate pleas for help, or because she looked like a homeless person, or maybe a mixture of both, she didn’t care. She was finally escaping. Collapsing one more time in a heap on the ground, she sobbed with no more energy to keep going, watching a man step out of the cruiser, radioing dispatch for an ambulance, she cried out. “Please, help me.”

Horror flooded her body as she recognized the second man getting out of the car and she cried and shook her head, “no,” she whispered, trying to gain the energy to get back up. This was supposed to be her ending, this was supposed to be a happy ending, maybe not right away but…

This entire time… She screamed into the horizon, forcing herself to stand up, only to collapse in the first man’s arms because of how weak she actually was, she hadn’t realized…

“It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re safe now.” She heard him say in her ear, “We’ve got an ambulance on the way but why don’t you sit in the back of the car and tell us what happened?” He sounded so gentle and sweet, his voice soothing her, but she was still on edge.

“No, no, no, not with him.” She croaked, her throat dried, her lips cracked, for the first time she noticed just how foreign she sounded to herself. Just how much pain she was in.

Worry creased through his brow but he nodded, still leading the young lady to the car, opening the door for her and letting her sit. When he noticed his partner starting to come closer, he took a protective stance in front of her and called for his boss, he wasn’t going to take chances. “Alright, I think I’ve got some water in here if you’d like while we wait for the ambulance.”

When she nodded her head, he reached to the front and grabbed an unopened water bottle he was saving for a later time and handed it to her. Within minutes, she downed the entire plastic bottle, and color started to return to her already. She took a shaky breath. “Where did you come from? What happened?” He asked her, hoping she would answer but she took wary glances not to him, but the man behind him. “Would you want to talk later?”

She nodded, that was best, being away from… him… she couldn’t take chances. He was a cop… she hadn’t realized… what if they didn’t believe her? His partners seeming protection of her could only do so much if the department was only going to protect this awful man to begin with.

—————- A/N: I was going to leave it with an open ending and I might post that version, though I’m not sure if it’ll spoil the work done here… I might add to it? I don’t know I definitely want to gain feedback for this piece, though!

There was an original beginning of this story. It’s a long story, so I’ll start at the beginning of this night. I realized this night was the hunt when I saw the robot, but I didn’t flee. Instead, I kept going.  Ah, let me start a little further back.  This started because I went into a Walmart to get some sweatpants and a few other things. My heart was pounding. The robot had taken my keys from me. Not forcibly, I willingly gave them. My worst fears were realized then. And I wandered around Walmart, my guard up throughout the store.  There. I heard them.  Then I saw them.  I ran and I jumped into my car, but I didn’t have the keys.  The keys that lay with the robot. That damned robot.  They must’ve seen me because soon, they hounded my car, but my car was rolling.  I must’ve left it in neutral.  I managed to get it to roll down the highway and someways into town. Somehow, they were gone.  I ran again. I wasted no time, I ran as fast as I could towards town. I went up some stairs, I’m not even sure why I’m not even sure what the building was but there!  There was a girl, and she wasn’t playing this game between me and my… “friends”.  “Where’s the police station?” I asked, panting. She seemed to take no notice.  She pointed, telling me it was across the way and she could even see it from there.  I nodded and took a hesitant step towards her and saw the building. I saw police officers.  I ran the opposite direction and back the way I came. I kept running until I noticed the church.  I could probably cut through there and it’d be easier.  “Please, help me!” I screamed through the church as I burst through the doors.  “Please, God, help me!” I raced into the room with the most people and no one dared to even talk to me, not even the priest.  They found me.  I stepped closer to the innocents.  We threw insults at each other as I tried to find my escape.  Soon, there was infighting along with fighting with me.  Soon, a boy from the group was off to the side and telling me to follow.  I did.  I escaped the church with him and ran as far to the police station as I could.  Somehow, it was further than before and I took refuge in an empty home.  It was dark and empty and instead of keeping going, I ran inside an empty room with the boy. I turned to the boy, suddenly suspicious of him. I should’ve been suspicious before. But I was cocky. I knew I could win this game, I won it every year, they never got a piece of me.  This really all this was. It was a game, forged years before.  I don’t have the memories of how this game came to be, but it was a game and more often than not, I wasn’t scared, I was happy and cocky.  The only time I was scared was when they were close.  “Do you really want to help me?” I asked the boy, keeping my distance.  The worry slipped from his face and instead, a grin appeared. He shrugged his shoulders. “Eh.”  I stood and ran to the back of the room. They had me cornered. The window was much too high up to jump from.  They were here and inside the room and my heart pounded - how was I supposed to get out of this now? We threw insults at each other.  One of them slashed me with a knife a few times and I managed to take it from her grip and threw it out the window. Another did the same. The same result ensued.  My mind shut down with rage and fear, and the next thing I knew, I was out of the room and I was running. Why did they let me leave?  I ran to the police station, but I got to a back room of sorts.  There was a name on a door and a desk. It was dark. I was further from the main entrance than I had been. I screamed and I’d been cornered once more.  They debated how to kill me but one of their members can eat me whole and still keep me alive in its stomach.  So they chose that option. I was swallowed whole and I could view the world while I died slowly from the acid.  I was able to see that the boy that helped me was punished.  He now has a vacant expression.  While I wallowed on where I went wrong.  Where did I go wrong?  First mistake? I didn’t have the keys to my car.  Second mistake, I asked for help and I ran into the church. Third mistake? I trusted one of them too easily. They said they loved me and I somehow trusted him. I was too late to question his actions.  Fourth mistake. Running into a home Fifth mistake.  Running to the police. They cannot stop crime.  5.2 mistake. I ran into an entrance into seemingly a private’s office.  I really thought I’d win. Like I had every year previously.  Being swallowed whole was my fate. Surrounded around those who I knew.

Her mouth was hanging open in shock, shaking her head as she looked down to the ground where blood and guts and body parts were strewn about, seeing little to no ground. They were high school lovers, now in their late 20s. They’d been through everything together. Even college, deaths of loved ones, and being far apart. It felt like they were inseparable.

She never really got along with her family, that part was true. They’d often fight and end up arguing with each other, sometimes it turned physical. She was glad to have moved two states away from them, where it was least likely to ever see them again, and she most likely wouldn’t need to hear from them. He followed her, of course, because they were planning on moving in together anyways. They were going to be going on a vacation in a few weeks. But now… now her reality was shattered, dreams tossed, she had no idea who he was.

And sure, friends and family that had known him had said that he wasn’t a good guy, he’d turn on her when he had the chance, but she didn’t believe them. He was so kind and sweet to her, giving her flowers every opportunity, presenting her to family functions, giving her gifts and planning dates and their future.

Their future, that was now shattered. Torn apart like the bodies on the road. She wanted to marry him. She wanted to have kids with him and grow old with him.

“What have you done?” She whispered.

“I got rid of your little problem, sweetheart.” He told her, so casual, as if the problem wasn’t lying on the ground by their feet.

Tears welled in her eyes as she scanned her surroundings. She never thought loving him would turn into this, she’d heard the stories, heard their warning, and still she stayed. Because she thought that’s what love was. But as she looked at the carnage before her, she was so terribly wrong.

“I didn’t want this,” she choked out, her head shaking. He had a choice and he chose her.

“You wanted this,” he reassured her. His tone was soothing, convincing and confident. “Because you wanted me, you chose me.”

She was shaking her head, tears streaming down like rivers down her cheeks now, “No,” the word sounded strangled, different, coming from her mouth. “Not like this.”

“You wanted me, Mira!” His voice was rising, “you wanted a bad boy who’d take care of you when it was needed.”

“That’s not-! This isn’t-!” She couldn’t form words, much less thoughts. She was so afraid of him now, so afraid to move but he had taken a step forward. She didn’t want to step in more blood, or on a body part.

“That’s not what, this isn’t what, Mira? The answer? This isn’t the way? This isn’t how the story is supposed to end? Well, Mira… this is how it ends.” He had a smile on his face, now, despite everything he’d done, he was still smiling.

“No!” She screamed, surprising even herself. “Mom…”

“Everyone has a choice, Mira.” He said, his voice low now. “Your choice has resulted in everyone dead.”

Her eyes widened at his accusation, “that’s not true.” Her words were steady, steeling confidence that wasn’t felt, but heard. “We moved to get away from them for a reason.” She reasoned, it wasn’t her fault they were dead. She wasn’t the one that blew them to pieces.

He frowned and cocked his head to the side. “Mira. They followed you. They followed you two states away and they were coming to hurt you, or did you forget?” He took out his phone that had a copy of the voicemail that her parents had left her.

“Little lamb, did you think you could run from us? From me? You’ve been training your entire life, only to run away when things got difficult. Now isn’t that selfish. Well, no matter. We’ve found you and our friends are coming to pick you up, be nice and get in the car, or we’ll come for you personally.” The voice sent a cold chill down her spine. She had thought she had escaped that life, she never wanted that life, never wanted the family.

“They trapped you, remember? They came after you and I’ve made sure they’re gone.” There was no escape, never any escape, that much she knew deep down. From one abuse, to another. The cycle always repeating.

Or rather, in her case, from a mop affiliated family to a cult family. She didn’t care for the blood shed, for the money, she didn’t want to follow what her family was doing, but his family seemed like a lesser evil. Sure, they sacrificed small animals, and hunted wild animals. In his case, he was a pyromaniac while enjoying the blood shed.

“They’ve been sacrificed for Moloch, for the greater good, for our protection, prosperity, and good health!” He exclaimed, sounding like a madman to her, but a good leader to the rest of his followers.

Even her father wouldn’t have done this much. Her mother would’ve been much cleaner going about it. Their blood mixed together on the ground, their pieces scattered but mostly recognizable, covering the various symbols.

“They’re dead thanks to you, for bringing them to us,” he repeated, and she turned to look at the cheering crowd. About a dozen and a half people were there, all enamored with Luke, they hadn’t had this big a sacrifice since the elden days.

“Disgraceful.” I heard, muttered from an elderly woman dressed in a floral shirt and a skirt way too big for her hips.

“Godless heathen.” Hissed a man in his late 20s, early 30s, looking like a jock that never left high school.

“F**.” I tensed at that word. My heart stopped, my breath caught, as I flinched. I hoped he hadn’t noticed, but a smirk from his face told me otherwise.

Taking a long, shaky breath, I square my shoulders, straighten my back a little and continue walking down the road with my head up.

I’m used to of those words, used to of the harassment. It’s a small town, a very Christian community, less than 200 people live here. Everyone knew everyone. So of course, we all knew when she moved into the house on River Road.

I had second thoughts about what I was about to do, a platter plate in my hands, maybe I should spare her, if, or rather, when, people see me at her doorstep, they might make assumptions and she’d be pulled into the same bullying I get put through.

I stop walking at the corner, I can see the house in the middle of two houses, similarly built, similar color schemes. Should I turn back?

Well… if I’m already here…

I took another breath, shaking my head, no, they won’t immediately start bullying her. They can’t automatically make that kind of assumption based on one interaction with the only person they know to be…

So, I continue. Though, I find myself shaking as I walk up to her door, and I hope it’s unnoticeable as I press the button to her doorbell, hearing the bell from outside. I can see a black car in the driveway that I assume is hers, so maybe she is here, though it is poss-

“Hello, can I help you?” A sweet, buttery voice comes from the other side of the screen door, my eyes widen, and I can feel a blush creeping upon my cheeks.

She’s wearing the most beautiful, flowy, floral sun dress I’ve ever seen, with the bluest, biggest eyes, coupled with curly, thick, brown hair.

Wow… She’s so beautiful. She cocks her head to the side, confusion washing over her face but her smile never wavering. “Are you okay?”

“Oh! No- I mean, yes, yes I’m okay! I- uh… I’m sorry, that’s just the most prettiest dress I’ve seen!” I internally facepalm at my stuttering, god, I’ve already embarrassed myself in front of her.

“Heh, I’m.. I’m sorry, uh, I heard you’d just move into town, and I wanted to give you some welcome cupcakes! My name is Eurydice, I live two blocks down?” A smile awkwardly pulls on my face as I then hold the platter plate of cupcakes. Oh, no, what if she’s gluten free? Ugh, idiot!

“Oh! Hah, you guys are so welcoming! I’ve already gotten so many sweets and welcoming gifts!” My smile wavers as I hear this, maybe she doesn’t want this? Though, before I can say anything, “My name is Ophelia! Come, come on in, it’s so hot, let me get you a lemonade.” She opened the screen door to let me in.

“Oh, no, I don’t wanna cause you any trouble, I just thought I’d-“ She cut me off with a wave of her hand, her smile never left her face. She radiated like the sun.

“Nonsense! The lemonade is already made, and I’ve made way too much for myself, I don’t think I’ll be able to finish it within a few days, anyways.” It was like her words were enchanting me, or perhaps it was that voice of hers, any doubt of me coming into her home ebbed away. Would the community bully her?

“Come on, just one glass,” her voice soothed and I wiped my shoes on her mat before taking a step inside.

“Well, if it’s one lemonade,” I say, hesitant still.

She takes my hand and I feel my face burning, I hope it isn’t as red as I think it is. She leads me to her kitchen, “sit, sit!” And bustled to her refrigerator after putting my platter plate with the rest of the plates and dinnerware, covered in aluminum and cling wrap, and I understand what she means. It seems that everyone’s got her something or another.

I walk home that night feeling light on my feet, and a grin plastered to my face. We got along so well that I seemed to have forgotten one, single, problem.

Slowly, my smile melts into a shaky frown, right. I’m not allowed to make friends. I… forgot. This community can never leave well enough alone. I just hope that I didn’t mess things up for her. What if she gets bullied as well? I suppose I’ll leave her alone…

But my plan doesn’t seem to go well, because the very next day, she shows up on my doorstep, with my platter plate, asking if I wanted to get dinner with her.

“D-dinner? With.. dinner? With, with you?” I stuttered out, my eyes widening as I realize how that might’ve sounded snide or rude, “N-no, wait! No, I mean, I’d love to have dinner with you!” Oh man… again, I’m embarrassing myself in front of her. But she lets out a giggle, and tells me to meet her at a local restaurant I don’t think I’ve been to yet at 7. I… don’t eat out much.

“Y-yeah, okay!”

Months pass, but if she’s getting bullied by the townsfolk, she’s not letting that on, I don’t think I’ve made a single plan for us. It’s always been her. I just know the town hasn’t let her out of their eyes because of me, because of who I am.

“Why do you stay here?” We’re sitting in the grass behind her home, sipping margaritas, and I’m taken aback.

“What do you mean?” I frown, noticing an almost disturbed look on her face.

“I mean… why do you stay here? I hear the way they talk about you, and look at you. If I knew this town was like this, I probably wouldn’t have moved here myself.”

Oh. She knew. How long? I suppose that part doesn’t matter… my face relaxes, “Oh. Um. I grew up here, I can’t… I can’t imagine ever leaving, really. It’s fine, I’m fine here.”

“You’re okay with being bullied with people you grew up with, who knew you as a baby?” She asked with the most concerned looking eyes… stop, no, focus, Eurydice.

“Well… when you put it that way,” I let out a dry laugh.

“I’m serious, Eurydice.”

I frown. “I’m sorry, I just mean that I’ve never been that great with people and it’s all I’ve known. I don’t know what I’d do.” I hear her sigh. “Do they.. bully you? Because of me?” I can hear how small my voice became, and the silence that overtakes the both of us is loud and clear. Right. Of course.

I get up from my spot, leaving the glass on the table, shaking my head. “I’m sorry.” I whisper as I start to leave.

“Eurydice.” My name sounds so beautiful when she says it, it makes me stop in my tracks. I hear her walking up behind me but I don’t turn to face her, instead, I keep my head low to the ground, watching an ant crawl over a blade of grass.

“Ophelia.” I whisper, “I can’t… not if I know I’m hurting you.”

“Please, Eurydice. I want to continue having a friendship with you. Maybe even more, but I need to know that you’re willing to not look back if we leave this town together, some day.” My heart raced as I process the words I hear. She wants to have a future with me?

“I won’t make the same mistake Orpheus made, I won’t look back. I just need to hear you, Eurydice.” My breath catches, I can feel tears well in the corner of my eyes.

“A relationship…” I muse, feeling how the words feel in my mouth, blushing at the thought.

“Eurydice,” she whispers.

“I need to go.” I tell her, taking my hand out of hers.