Penniless am I, A young cockney lad learning, It’s needless to say.

“Penniless we’ll be if we choose him, mate” I mustered after another “actor” strode across stage. My partner, ever the more jovial and easy going type was more hopeful than I was. The play for set to begin in three months for tonight. Seemed like plenty of time for rehearsal, only we did not have a lead actor and our producer was one tick away on the clock for erupting. “You know I can’t stand Craig when he gets mad”. I said to my partner. “I can hardly understand his thick cockney accent when he’s by the cooler, let alone mad”. Another hour had past and two actors appeared to have no showed for their scheduled auditions “this is needless”

Penniless after coming out of prison, Christi had nowhere to go. Her family didn’t want to know her and the same could be said for all her old friends. London seemed as good a place as any for a new start as any. She boarded the train bound for London from Waverley. She found a seat in the crowded carriage , sitting down and watching the outskirts of Edinburgh speed past the window .

She dozed for about an hour before an overły friendly man with a strong cockney accent sat beside her at Manchester, she reckoned she knew everything about him, his ex wife, his kids and his job. The man was obviously beginning to get annoyed at his the lack of reciprocation in the conversation. He proposed they play a game of "need or needless “. The rules were quite easy he assured Christi, he would mention something to her and she would have to respond with need or needless depending on the importance of that thing to her. After the brief explanation he just jumped straight into playing the game, giving her no time to make her excuses. "Work " “Need “ "Money" "Need” "Family” "Needless "

We’re far from penniless. We have all the money in the world. We’re called a bunch of cockneys. Everyone judges us for things we cannot help. People die in our family and leave everything to us. We become rich. We are needless.

Sandra was born into a penniless family. When she grew up she resolved not to be poor ever again. Daily she would work on her self-improvement so that she could achieve her dreams. One day she realised that, as a cockney, she had enough chipperness to succeed without all this psychological obsession on making herself better. It had all been needless.

I’ve had enough. I’ve lost my job. The missus has taken my kid and shacked up with a fucking doctor. I’ve lost my flat and am now absolutely skint. I’ve got nothing. I’ve been living up in Manchester but there’s nothing for me here now. So now here I am at piccadilly station about to catch the train down to London. When things started to go to shit I gave my uncle a shout. He was more than willing to welcome me back in to the fold. I thought I had left that life behind me, obviously not. A few hours later down in London, I exit Euston station. There’s a car waiting for me. I slide in and immediately recognise an old face from my past. Leon smiles at me in the mirror as he pulls the car out and takes off “Joey me old china plate, it’s been a fair while my chum. Here I’ve got something for you”. At a set of red lights he pulls a package from under his seat and carefully passes it over. I open it up, already guessing what I’m about to reveal. I test the weight of the gun in my hand, being careful to keep it low and out of sight of the people outside of the car. Remembering days gone by, days filled with needless violence, I tuck the gun under my thigh. “Your uncles got a job for, wants to throw you in at the deep end lad. See if you’ve still got the bottle”. I sit there silently. What else can I do? I’ve got bugger all left. I swallow my thoughts and prepare myself for my new future, or a return to my past.

I must have been on that park bench at least two weeks before anyone even glanced at me. A further week around the square until anyone talked to me, and only then it was “Get out of my way, tramp!” It took an entire month of my being homeless before I heard any sort of kindness, and when it did come, it came in the form of a cockney redhead woman dressed up to the nines.

“Alright, love?” She said, as she sat down on the bench next to mine and lit up a smoke. I looked around me; nobody else there. I checked her ears; no bluetooth headset. She was talking to me. “Uh... I, uh... I’m fine, thank you very much for asking.” She said nothing back, only nodded. “How are you?” “Well now you’re talkin’, love. I’ve ‘ad one hell of a day! Pardon my French.” She giggled, “So I woke up this mornin’ and only turns out my fat lump of an ‘usband ain’t there so I gives him a ring and he says he’s fucked off ‘cause he found out I’ve been havin’ a little fun on the side, but, well, who cares? I don’t need his money I’ve got my family’s!” As she laughed at this hysterically I could only think how ungrateful she seemed towards her own family. I’d kill to have a wife so willing to love me and work to help support me. But, I guess it wasn’t my business to judge her. She continued “So I told him to shove it and I thought I’d have a fun day out on my own for once to celebrate! Well I’m not usually on my own, you see, I’ve got tons of friends that won’t leave me alone. So, anyway, I go to the spa thinkin’ I’ll get myself a nice tan on, you know, and who do I meet there but Jeanette! Jeanette’s my retarded sister, you know, so I told her about me and Stan - that’s my ‘usband - and she said that Dad wouldn’t like it, but I know my Daddy better than she does on account of me being older, but I called him anyway and he said I was cut off!” She waited a split second for me to reply, but before I could, she spurted “I know! ‘Ow fuckin’ dare he! So I ‘ung up on ‘im, slapped my sister in her bitchy face ‘cause I know she told him he should cut me off, I stole her credit cards and now I’m on my way to Paris!”

I didn’t have the faintest idea what to say. “Paris is one of my friends. She runs the county job fair up the road. You wanna come along? You can have one of my ‘usband’s suits layin’ in the boot.”

All this time I thought I needed money to make me happy and grateful. I accepted the woman’s offer, and from then on accepted whatever hand life dealt me.