wanted to pay tribute to hockey legend johnny gaudreau who died very recently in one of the few ways i can, quote is from him

“I’m not a grinder I’m not a gimmick And, in general, I’m just not a big guy But I don’t need to be I’m a hockey player”

it’s always been there in your mind hockey stick in hand before you could walk thinking, “i was born for this”

it’s a mantra it sticks with you through years of rejection because you’re “just not good enough”

but you know the truth deep in your heart you are good enough you are more than good enough they don’t believe because you’re “not big enough”

but they can’t stop you because you’re a rocket you’re a shooting star you’re a superstar you were born for this

you’ve made it they call your name you’re not even onstage you could hardly see it coming it’s a dream come true

you could never know back then, wide-eyed and eighteen that you’d ever even make the real show let alone become one of the forces that drives it

“you’re too small” you still hear it, sometimes but it doesn’t take long until it fades because you showed them up

through years of cheers and best friendships built to last and goals and yells and purple gatorade and becoming a hero for folks young and old

then you leave because you love where you’ve been but you also love where you’re headed close to home to the ones you love more than anyone

and when you return to that old home they’re angry, “why did you leave?” but their jeers turn to cheers because they love you too much to ever hate you

and your new home loves you how could they not?

you were a guiding light for a generation and more to come proof that nothing can stop someone from achieving what they truly want even when the odds are stacked against them

you have left a mark on the homes in which you lived and the people who were lucky enough to know you

you deserved more you deserved to spend the rest of your life inspiring us all to chase the stars to be who we know we can be

you will never be forgotten held in the hearts of family and friends and fans and anyone who has ever known you even for a moment

you were born to do this you were born for hockey and now your spirit powers it’s future as you play peacefully with your brother on all those rinks in heaven

you will forever be missed

johnny gaudreau (1993-2024) matthew gaudreau (1994-2024)

“I hold my issues up for all to see like show and tell. A lotta people know me but, not a lot know me well.”

I write poems from the dark corners of my bedroom and post them where the world can see

Do my friends read them? no Does my family see them? no

I write under the cover of darkness when the house’s deep in slumber and my demons are a-stirring

I leave bits of me in all my writings Bits and pieces of who I am Read my works and you will find me Hidden deep underneath I pull poems from my life and display for all to see But no one can tell fact from fiction in my fantasies

You think that you know me? Better think again You know not one bit of the pain that shaped who I am You do not know of the things I write when sleep does not take me Nor the songs that reverberate in my head on the daily

If you think that you know me you are quite mistaken You haven’t the slightest clue of who I truly am

“Are you ok?” The kindest words Anyone’s said to me, In my opinion at least.

Sure I said yes, Wanted you to think I was at my best But I felt a little bit closer To you after that.

Thank you for the memories, And the new ones we’ll make, Because we both understand That true friendship won’t break.

Life isn’t about your final moments It’s about the moments that led up to them The moments when your heart stopped When you realize that you’ve lived a happy life Moments that make you smile so much you can’t stop Moments when you question every choice you’ve ever made Choices that shaped your life, that gave you love Moments with your soulmate, whoever they may be A passionate love, filled with tenderness and joy Moments that you’ve always dreamed of That you never believed could happen It’s these moments that shape our fate That change our lives That show us who we really are And in these perfect, simple, unplanned moments That’s when we realize life’s never too short nor too long If we’re living these moments, then we’re living the perfect life

As granny used to say; “You kill more flies with honey than you do with vinegar” What does that mean you may ask? Well it’s taken me 30 years to truly grasp what this means - you know when a loved one tells you old quotes like this and at the time it’s like “yeah yeah, they’re on their usual tandem” but as you mature and grow older you start to realise the significance of it? Well this is one of those things.

I admit, as a teenager I wasn’t perfect. I would snarl, get angry or pissed off at people who would do me wrong. But as the years passed, I slowly learnt the meaning of this saying. Let’s break it down. You kill more flies with honey, than you do with vinegar; if someone is rude to you or does you wrong, our first reaction is to bite back or snarl at them. But if you kill these people with kindness (honey) rather than bite back or snarl (vinegar) you’ll find yourself in a much better frame of mind.

As the years have gone by, I’ve started to mirror this saying and put it into action. I’ve found the nicer you are - the more honey you use rather, the angrier the person trying to hurt you gets. It is quite entertaining too! And in myself, I feel so much better, because I didn’t use negativity, I used positivity so I win.

Which brings me back to the quote you see below; “Smile, it will either warm their heart or piss them off… either way, you win”. Why waste your energy on their toxic behaviour, why let it get to you when you can avoid this by smiling and being kind? By all means, say what you please in your mind, I certainly do! But telling someone to go F themselves or Bugger off or something along those lines, only gets you angry and that energy stays with you.

As they say, it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile 😉

"Never let others set your limits for you" The words sliced through my chest, Like a dagger getting stuck in truth.

The realization struck me So powerfully My eyes were opened, I've been freed

Their words cannot define me My chains have broken I've been freed

Eyes open wide, Pen flying across the page, Wild words flying high

Creativity unleashed Imagination loosed I've been freed

Who cares what they think The work is mine Creativity is mine to be

"Never let others set your limits for you" The realization struck me, Their words cannot define me, Eyes open wide, Creativity unleashed, Who cares what they think? Creativity is mine to be.

“Don’t open your eyes too wide, Or you’ll never be able to close them again” Words spoken by a short man On a rooftop during a sunset At sixteen you think you know it all Passing time both slow and fast Wearing words like my favorite robe Dripping over every inch of skin Trying to find their way in An invisible tattoo that brands you Altering the meaning Until they’re something That feels brand new If I had taken the advice Deciding to stay in the dark To the atrocities in this world I wonder if I’d be a different girl Choosing blindness to the horror That continues to occur Every day we inhabit this earth A life changing conversation With a homeless man named Matt Who appeared suddenly In my moments of need Just to then leave With no trace left behind Your story I’ve carried For all of this time I wish you knew how brightly You always shined And how our long talks Altered my perception For the rest of my life I’m sorry that they left you behind You were my earth Angel Who kept me alive An entire dictionary of words Could never define The gratitude I’ve held inside If you’re ever faced with a choice Always pick being kind You never know the impact Of words you leave behind

I read in the good book accounts of His grandeur the heavens declare his glory and in this divine love story the earth is His spoor

In the towering mountains and the trails that I pace His creativity enshrined and in this intelligent design are traces of his grace

When my restless feet meet the dirt below though I’m prone to wander I hike and I ponder the one who calls me home.

"Maybe I like her, we'll leave it at that" My nevers shake and I ache to read his reply After my bestie spams him and all that

"IK you like her," "Man up" "DO YOU LIKE HER?"

I blush I don't really care do I? My hopefulness comes in a rush

"Yea"

Your life isn’t yours if you constantly care what others think You are beautiful and perfect - you don’t need to grow or shrink!

A smile is the prettiest thing you can wear And, guess what, it’s contagious! Wear a smile to share!

A beautiful day starts with a beautiful mindset So think up something positive and stick it in your head!

Happiness isn’t something you can buy It blooms from within and soars sky high!

So believe in yourself like I do And I promise you’ll be satisfied too 🙃