Oh fate, how cruel you are indeed,

Never letting me say goodbye

And ask for forgiveness for all that I did,

Now all that's left are the memories I hid.

But even those are starting to fade,

Oh fate, how much more crueler can you get

Keeping us apart, with no time to heed.

Separated by countries and language too,

Talking to you now is difficult to do,

Our once-close friendship is now falling apart,

Oh fate, how merciless you've been from the start,

For all the times I've wanted to make amends,

You've made it impossible, with no time to spend.

The last few memories I have of you

Are slowly slipping from my mind, it's true,

And I try so hard to remember

The smile that lit up your face, which made me surrender.

to every request and demand that you had

You were a funny character, a star so bright,

As if I had found my purpose, my guiding light.

But now you're gone, and it's hard to cope,

Yet the fault is mine, I must confess,

That my prideful ways were what brought me my distress,

A chance to speak, I did suppress,

And now I'm weighed down by my own stress.

Oh, if only I had been more wise,

And thought before I spoke with lies,

Perhaps my heart wouldn't agonize,

Over words left unspoken, no surprise.

Though I fear these words may never reach your eyes,

I'll pen this poem as my heart loudly cries.

I need you to know that I gave my all,

But fate had other plans, and we took the fall.

This poem is my last resort, my final chance,

To express what I couldn't say in our last glance.

So, with this poem, I bid you farewell,

Hoping that someday, you'll comprehend my tale.

The truth in these lines is all that remains,

And I pray that you'll know that my love for you will never wilt

and as I lie down in my bed remembering the past

Cruel reminders, so hard to bind,

and I just can't escape the pain and sorrow,

of a lonely journey, and an endless tomorrow

I see you from across the room Dancing on an arm that isn’t mine

I burn with envy

And I realize we can’t be seen

I know the logic the reasoning

But I can’t

I can’t bear to see you With him

We share glances from across the room I see the longing we share The feelings we hide

The butterfly’s in my chest are trying to escape To sing to you The things we can’t say

The sweet nothings The I love you The future that i’ve already imagined

I want everyone to know That you are mine And I am yours

I am yours

But your on his arm Across the room And I see in your eyes that

Although I am yours And you are mine

Our hands are Tied

Our fate is sealed But how can it be so, when every defining moment is a decision we make? And we can do nothing Yet even in doing nothing, we accomplish something To change it Oh, but in life, change really is the only constant!

In twilight’s embrace where shadows sigh,
An angel descended from the vast, open sky.
With wings once adorned in celestial light,
Now tarnished and tattered, he embraced the night.

Cast from heaven for a whispered transgression,
His heart, a storm raging with fierce obsession,
For in the depths where dark rivers flowed,
A demon emerged with a flickering glow.

His laughter like thunder, eyes blazing with fire,
A creature of chaos, igniting desire.
Yet amidst the turmoil, the angel found peace,
In the depths of the dark, his restless heart ceased.

He soared through the shadows, sheathed in the night,
While the demon, enthralled, became his lost light.
In secret, they met where the shadows entwined,
Love blossomed like wildflowers, in the dark they aligned.

“I'm bound to the darkness,” the demon would sigh,
“But your warmth pulls me closer, like stars in the sky.”
The angel traced patterns on his scarred, troubled soul,
In the heart of a demon, he felt completely whole.

Yet whispers of heaven and the fires of hell
Echoed through starlit skies, ringing farewell.
“Shall we choose our own fate, unchained from our past?
Or surrender our love, letting silence hold fast?”

With a kiss filled with daring beneath the pale moon,
They forged a pact written in love’s ancient rune.
For love knows no borders, no realm can restrain,
The bittersweet union of joy and of pain.

So together they soared on wings woven from dreams,
Straddling the chasm; nothing is as it seems.
An angel and demon, in a dance never done,
Two hearts intertwined beneath the watchful sun.

In the tapestry woven of dusk and of dawn,
Their story lingers, forever reborn.
For love, in its essence, defies every sigh,
An angel and demon, forever they fly.

Everyone has the same fate. Billions of people,all unique and different in all kinds of ways yet we all are destined to the same fate…Death.

One way we will all perish,we will be forgotten we won’t be remembered for the mistake we made or what we didnt do In life.And if we end up ghost we will have regrets.

The real question here is why are we here and how? RE teaches you there’s gods but that still begs the question of why and how was the supposed “gods” made. We exist but for what reason? Some say big bang theory,but another question what’s space what is this? Some may say I’m too conscious and everything really is confusing and we just don’t think about it. But I do. So many unanswered questions it’s terrifying. Knowing the only way to get answers is In death.We all don’t think about how we won’t live forver, too stuck in the moment we don’t give ourselves the chance to think and see that we have limited time. Time moves fast it doesn’t wait if you fall behind that’s on you. How does one even start to talk about it. Panic settles in and we are worried eternally about things we don’t know.

I wanna live forever just me and my person, I don’t wanna die I wanna exist forever no matter what but I know we can’t. We Are slaves to time.

How does nothing fit into a sentence? Loss stuffed into swelling syllables By a white coated man with God in his words and pain in his eyes.

Nothing to echo round the empty consonants and vowels, But the agony of his poor widow's howls.

He died at 5:13am at age 50.

Future folded. Once then twice. Straining against the torn edges Of the words. They say the minute his heart gave out But not the moment months ago when He was swallowed by statistics. Leaving only a neatly tied collection of Commiseration and condolence.

Each letter offends, scuffed by insufficiency But They endure:

He died at 5:13am at age 50 He died at 5:13am He died.

Isn’t it funny?

One minute, we’re running in circles. We’re happy. The next, we’re falling. Darkness holds us close. No, we never know when it’ll happen— or who it’ll happen to. There’s no way to know until it’s close enough.

Because one minute we’re okay. The next our family is crying over us. Tears are shed and colors are lost. Grey ash is left from the one who left. Sad faces and damp cloths. They tell you not to cry. But you do. Because you’re human and you’re selfish.

Everyone has lost someone or something close to them. Perhaps you only knew them for a day. Perhaps they were only a few hours old. But when they leave, something in your heart goes with them.

I don’t expect everyone to understand. But to those who do- I’m sorry. Because I hate feeling weak. I hate shaking and wondering why. I hate the downwards spiral of panic attacks and anxiety. Not being able to sleep or eat. Vomit comes quick, you’re pale and weak. And I know you hate it too.

Watching them hurt, struggle and fight. Hoping and praying they’re okay. But in the end- they’re too weak to keep fighting. So you fight for them. It’s what you do. And you fail. You fail.

Because our fate is sealed and we can do nothing to change it.

…

💔 For dad. 💗 For momma. ❤️‍🩹 For Mrs. Cathy. 💙 For Haden. 🤍 For Peanut. ❣️ For Ms. Porter. 💛 For Chiperina. 💚 For Mrs. Smith. 💖 For Mrs. Hart. 🖤 For Two-Point. ❤️ For Bones. 💘 For Rolly-Polly. 💛 For Sunny. 🤎 For Hazel. 💙 For Chip. 💖 For Snowball. 🤍 For Ruby. 💕 For Polly. 🤎 For Tiger. 💝 For Duke. 🧡 For Mr. Lance. 💜 For Kaylee and Tucker.

❤️‍🔥 …For Cookie ❤️‍🔥 …For Flame. ❤️‍🔥 …For Sugar. ❤️‍🔥 … For Flour. ❤️‍🔥… And for Coco… I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I fucking knew it and I couldn’t save you. Tried so hard, and it hurts so bad. No one would listen to me. I couldn’t make them listen. And this is what happened.

…

(Enter yours in the comments too. Anything you’ve lost, add their heart. They matter just as much.)

I sighed heavily as I closed the heavy oak front door behind me. I was grateful that Celeste was staying with David; as a safety precaution against the hunters. I wasn’t up for an interrogation or argument and having the house to myself tonight would be nice; it will give me time to relax and think how to best handle this delicate situation. I need a hot shower and sleep, maybe even a blood bag or two from the emergency supply too. Yeah that sounds really good; so blood first then the shower and sleep…well wait up for Shaylyn’s call and then sleep. I worried for her; I hoped that she would be okay, but there was the very real possibility of the worst case scenario happening. I shook my head and pushed those thoughts from my mind she would be ok; even if Serena reacted badly. I told Shaylyn to come directly to me, but what if she couldn’t? What if Serena kept her from leaving? What if…I shake my head again ‘stop thinking like that I can’t start spiraling now, and anyway she said she would call; best not start worrying yet.’ I really needed to get some blood in me. I make my way down the dim hall with earth colored walls; I passed by the familiar photos most of them in black-and-white, but two or three were in color, most of the pictures were of Celeste. David was in a few of them, there were even a couple of Celeste with her family. The first photo was taken when Celeste was still a baby being held by her mother; a beautiful French woman will dark hair cascading down her back and across her shoulders in elegant curls, her eyes have a intelligence to them that suggests a high education. Beside her stood an extremely dark black man he was handsome for a colored man; tall and muscular with broad shoulders; he looked imposing and even a bit frightening if it weren’t for his eyes. Even in the old worn photo you could tell he had kind eyes. In the second photo everyone is much older. Celeste is a young adult in this one and takes after her mother except her skin is darker and she has her father’s gentle gaze. Celeste has told me that this photo was taken one year before she was turned. She was only 21. I continue down the hall and enter the door off to the left that lead into the kitchen; it was your typical kitchen with a counter, refrigerator, sink and stove. There is a small rectangular table with four chairs around it. I went over to the fridge that held the blood bags and took one out; taring it open with my teeth and downing the thick life giving liquid draining it in seconds. I wasn’t particularly fond of bagged blood; it was more convenient true. It still provided us the same sustenance but it was cold and tasted different from live blood. It was subtle but still noticeable. Celeste and David both agreed that they too preferred drinking live or straight from the source as did I, but it was becoming more difficult to hunt and/or feed and the blood bags were the safest option. “You’ll get used to it; I hardly notice the difference any more.” Celeste had told me, but I didn’t want to get used to it. I didn’t just prefer hunting humans to feed; I like it. It was the only way I felt anything anymore at least until I met Shaylyn. She made me feel lots of things both good and bad, but mostly good. I loved Shaylyn so much that I would attempt to move heaven and earth if she asked me to; I would move mountains for Shaylyn I would do anything, even kill for her if it came to that. I know that if I continue my previous hunting activities that it could jeopardize whatever it is Shaylyn and I have together so if I had to get used to bagged blood for Shaylyn than I would and limit my hunting activity if not eliminate it completely whatever it took. I disposed of the empty bag and grabbed another one from the fridge bringing it with me to my room. I rip open the bag as I exit the kitchen, but instead of gulping it down like I did with the first one I instead take smaller gulps as I ascended the stairs. At the end of the hall is my bedroom. I had finished only half the bag by the time I reached my room. It was dark although that wasn’t a problem with my night vision; I flick on the light switch anyway. The room was quite lavish which I was accustomed to having been born to a wealthy family before I was changed at the tender age of 17. A large king size bed dominated the center of the room with the headboard against the wall and a bed side table on either side. The table on the left side even had a phone on it. Against the wall across from the bed was a large dresser and on either side was a door one led into a walk in closet and the other a bathroom. In the far left corner of the room was a desk with many works of art in progress and a easel with a blank canvas on it stood beside the desk. Across from the desk on far left side of the room was a lavish sofa and armchair with a small table and reading lamp inbetween the two furnishings. On the right side of the room nearest the door was a round table, two chairs by it. I enter the room and grab a wine goblet off the table pouring the remaining blood in it and then proceeded to place it on the bedside table to be consumed later. I got undressed and went into the bathroom for a long hot shower. After I finished showering I wrapped myself in a big fluffy terry cloth robe, dried off, put on a nightgown and got in bed. I was sitting up sipping blood from the wine goblet as I waited for the phone to ring; minutes felt like hours when finally the phone rang. It barely had time to ring at all however with how quickly I answered it. “Shaylyn?” My worry for her evident in my voice. “Yeah it’s me…were you just waiting by the phone this whole time?” She asked. “Yes…you certainly took your time calling.” I replied trying to sound annoyed but it was in jest. “Sorry I called you as soon as I could.” She apologized. I sigh. “Well at least you called.” “Did I worry you?” She asked. “No and yes…I am pretty sure I would worry about you no matter what the situation.” I say with adoration. “I think it’s really sweet that you worry for me but you don’t have too.” She said with sincerity. “I can’t help it, you are just going to have to cope with the fact that I will always worry about you little hunter.” I replied affectionately. “Well you can put your mind at ease for now my talk with Serena went better than expected.” She told me. “Really?” I was surprised I had not expected that conversation to go well at all. “Well she doesn’t like it, but she and I are still good and she is covering for us so all is well that ends well I guess.” she stated. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I miss you.” I said longingly. “It hasn’t even been 24 hours yet Draya” She said her tone amused. “I don’t care and it doesn’t matter I still miss you.” I said in the same longing tone. “I know what you mean; I miss you too.” she said a bit of longing seeping into her own tone. “I wish you were here with me lying next to me so I could hold you all night again.” I said as I thought about having my arms around Shaylyn’s warm body her sent enveloping my senses. “God I would love that… do you have any idea what a hard time I am going to have sleeping now that you put that thought in my head. She said the desire clear in her voice. “Probably as hard a time as I am going to have.” I said. "Either way I should probably shower soon and get ready for bed I'm actually really tired." She replied. “We should both probably try to get some sleep soon I have a tough conversation tomorrow and if I can’t have you here at least I can dream about you.” I agreed, but used my seductive tone when I said that last part. “I will dream of you too, at least I hope I will.” She said. “I’m actually sure you will.” I said. “Like I said I hope so, in fact that hope will probably be the only thing that will help me sleep tonight and you better be right, because if I fall asleep and don’t have sweet dreams all about you I will be very annoyed in the morning.” She said. “I feel bad for Serena, I have a feeling that an annoyed you is unpleasant and regretfully I can’t see you tomorrow. It’s probably going to take all day and most of the night to get everything sorted out with Celeste and David.” I both teased and then explained. “Can you call me and tell how everything turned out at least?” She asked her tone hopeful. “Sure what’s your number?” I asked. “529-1011” I grabbed a pen and paper out of my bedside table drawer and jot down the number. “Okay got it.” I answered. “Are you worried?” She asked concern in her voice. “Probably not as much as I should be but yeah I am.” I said solemnly. “You remember how you said that if things went south for me that I should come to you?” “Yes I do recall that.” “Same thing goes for you if things take a turn for the worse you come to me and we’ll leave go to New Orleans and find that little island in the South Pacific for ourselves just you and me against the world.” She said with conviction. “I actually kind of like the sound of that…if I actually have to take on the world there is no one else I rather have standing by my side than you.” I said affectionately. “Awww thank you. I’m honored, I can’t think of anyone else I would rather have by my side either.” She said then I heard her yawn, I knew she must be extremely tired after everything that happened. ”I will let you go so you can sleep little hunter. I will see you in my dreams.” I said my tone lovingly. “I hope to see you there too. Good night.” She said equally as loving. “Good night” I replied softly and then hang up the phone. I let out a sigh and down the rest of the blood in the whine goblet and set it on my bed side table before snuggling down under the covers,closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep. Truthfully I was tired. While I no longer felt physical fatigue I can still feel emotional and mental fatigue. After every thing even the relief that Shaylyn was in fact ok I was drained and exhausted but even as drained as I felt sleep would not come. My mind was too full with my task tomorrow. I was going to call Celeste and tell her to come home and to bring David because I have some thing I need to discuss with them both. That would be the easy part but when it came to the real conversation…that was the hard part. I knew Celeste was not going to react well to the news because she didn’t trust hunters and with good reason; hunters kill vampires at least usually they do. Shaylyn did not; she had been presented with the perfect opportunity to do so and I had fully expected her to do it. I had made peace with death in that moment but it never came. Shaylyn’s heart had won out in the end thank God. I’m happy she didn’t kill me not because I didn’t want to die necessarily; no in all honesty I stopped caring it wasn’t like I felt like I had much left to live for, but now I am happy that I am alive because I love Shaylyn and some how am lucky enough to have Shaylyn love me back and I never felt like this before. I always felt different around Shaylyn, alive and happy and…lighter somehow I can’t explain it, it was beyond anything I have ever experienced before. When I was human I had once thought I was in love with a boy who grew into a young man and had my heart broken. I have had very short relationships as a vampire with both men and women. Some were with other vampires. Most of them were with a human, but they never lasted more than three or four months and were more a means to pass the time. I may have liked them yes but there were no romantic or intimate feelings there either. There was very little emotion in fact. I was neither happy or sad, I was just neutral. With Shaylyn it was different for the first time I truly felt whole; my life had purpose again and this felt, feels like it’s meant to be. Call it fate, call it destiny, hell call it wishful thinking I don’t care what anybody else thinks Shaylyn and I were like two sides of the same coin soulmates if I wasn’t sure of anything else I sure of that. With those thoughts swirling in my head I finally drifted away into sleep.

I wake up the next day feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day. I glance over to the clock on the wall to see that I had slept in very late it was nearly noon. Then I remembered what I had to do today and felt instantly deflated and a small bit of dread filled me. I sighed and pushed the covers off and went in to the walk in closet. I decided that I would wear a pair of black leggings and a simple red button up blouse with a black collar and black buttons nothing too fancy. I was never allowed to wear pants in my youth as a human; it was not expectable for ladies to dress in pants back then, but it has become more expectable for women to wear pants thanks to celebrities like Katherine Hepburn and I find that I prefer pants and if I am going to do this I might as well be comfortable. I get dressed and then go into the bathroom to brush my hair and even took the time to check the roots of my hair to see if I needed a touch up. No. I could wait awhile before that would need to be done. Honestly I knew that I was procrastinating, prolonging the time before I had to make the dreaded phone call. I don’t know why I was so apprehensive about it the phone call was the easy part the hard part wouldn’t even come until they got here. I take a deep breath and exit the bathroom going to my bed and sitting down. God how I wish I could just crawl back under the covers and just wait for today to be over, but no that would do me no good. Eventually it would happen inevitably. Also if Shaylyn can be brave enough to face her best friend with this kind of news then I can too… I must I sit on the edge of my bed and take a few deep breaths to calm and center myself then pick up the phone and dial the number and after a few rings a smooth males voice answers. “Hello?” “Hey David, it’s Draya.” “Draya, it is such a relief to hear from you. Celeste was becoming quite distressed over you. She will be relieved you have called as am I.” “Speaking of Celeste can you put her on the phone please?” “Of course, just a moment.” I waited and after a short while heard Celeste’s anxious come through. “Draya?” “Yes Celeste it’s me and before you ask yes I am okay… better than okay actually.” “Oh, Dieu merci, I have been so worried about you when I didn’t hear from you for two nights.” That’s right; Celeste had left for David’s around noon day before yesterday the night I spent with Shaylyn and I had decided against calling her last night. In retrospect I should have just so she would know I was okay. “Sorry Celeste, I got caught in the storm and couldn’t make it home; took shelter in an abandoned building and I had some personal stuff to deal with before coming home so when I did get back I was really tired. I’m sorry I should’ve called.” Not a complete lie, most of what I said was true just left out the parts about Shaylyn. “I am just relieved you are okay.” “Yeah, me too.” “What about the hunter girl? I should have known that she would bring up Shaylyn and I take a deep breath. “Actually I wanted to have discussion with you about that… but not over the phone could you come home? And bring David with you?” “Of course…Draya are you sure you are alright? Is something wrong?” Her tone was gentle and concerned. “Physically I am fine, but I’ll talk to you about the rest when you get here.” “Well alright then…see you soon.” “Ya see you soon.” I hung up the phone and let out a sigh. I went to go sit in the living room to wait for Celeste and David as the small pit of dread in my stomach grew. I hear the front door open. “Draya?” I hear Celeste call out to me and I feel my stomach drop a little. This could go one two ways; either very bad or very good and I sincerely hoped it was the latter. “I’m in the living room.” I call out to them and they enter the room. Celeste comes over to me and wraps me up in a hug, I hug her back and take a moment to appreciate the comfort it provides because I could lose it all in one fell swoop. She pulls away from me and looks at me with that gentle gaze that she always seems to possess and now my heart dropped. This will be a betrayal to Celeste, if not very near to one. I realized that there was no easy way to say this, no way to ease them into this news. I realize no matter what the outcome was, good or bad, our fate is sealed and we could do nothing to change it. “Celeste you know how much I love you right? You have taken care of me and taught me and always done what you thought I was best and I know you will do so now.” Then I turned to David. “David I know that we haven’t always seen eye and have butted heads a few times but I do respect you as my coven leader. I believe you are a just and fair leader and will do what you believe is right for the entire coven.” I stare at the floor unable to look at either of them. “I never wanted to hurt anyone in my life so I apologize for this in advance, but I didn’t do anything to Shaylyn. Truthfully she beat me in a short battle and I was so sure my life was over; my only request was that she make it quick, but then she threw her sword away and the next thing I know she is holding me and sobbing and then she says that she can’t kill me because she loves me and you know what I love her too and I plan to stay with her…forever!” I say and I am expecting an explosion, but it doesn’t come. I look at Celeste and she has tears in her eyes. “No, Draya s’il vous plait don’t do this! It is foolish and dangerous! Not only for the coven but you! I don’t want you hurt. Please Draya we can leave, go to England…we‘ll be ok.” “No Celeste I won’t go! You can if you want…if you must. I understand but I won’t!” Tears were streaming down her cheeks; she stood up and and began to pace and talk in French softly and slowly at first, but the intensity of her pacing and speaking escalated rapidly and soon she was even throwing her arms up in the air every now and again in frustration. David on the other hand was silent and still as a statue. One arm resting across his torso, the elbow of his other arm rested on his fisted hand and he was holding his chin in his other hand head cast down slightly. He looked very pensive. I honestly couldn’t take Celeste’s pacing and frantic French monologging anymore. “I don’t know why you are making such a big deal about this, I mean David used to hunt vampires too and now he runs the whole coven!” “That is completely different Draya.” “How? How is it different?” “Shaylyn will never change Draya! She will always be a hunter at her core. It would be different if she were just a normal human being brought into this world, but she is a hunter! She was raised in this world and trained to hunt and kill us and all supernatural beings.” “She didn’t kill me! She was given the perfect opportunity, practically had it handed to her on a sliver platter but she chose not to because she loves me! And I love her too! So much that it’s hard being away from her!” “Draya I know that this is difficult for you, but this type of relationship will put the entire coven at risk.” “You don’t know her like I do.” “You truly believe she would stop hunting for you?” “Vampires, maybe, yes.” “But witches? Wear wolves?” “What do I care? It’s not like we exactly get along with wear wolves. If you look at it logically it’s witches fault that vampires and wear wolves exist in the first place! We are the result of dark blood magic, wear wolves the result of a dark magic curse take that into consideration and it’s no wonder hunters think we are evil because we have been created by evil!” ”Draya do you even hear yourself? Firstly, I have never before heard you condone harming innocents. Secondly, we are not responsible for actions taken centuries ago by some unfortunate misguided individuals.” “Oh please, unless you’re an infant nobody is innocent and misguided or not they knew exactly what they were doing.” “It happened centuries ago and Witches were are not the ones to condemn us. Hunters are hunters were the reason they became so desperate and resorted to any means of survival.” “But as you said it was centuries ago. Long before you or I were even alive. Long before Shaylyn was ever born. You say that witches are not the ones who condemned us well neither is she!” “I never said that this girl is solely responsible for the evils the hunters as a whole have committed, but you can’t tell me that she has no body count, that she has no blood on her hands!” “I don’t care! I love her and you can’t stop me from seeing her!” “You would turn your back on your coven… your family?” “I was hoping it wouldn’t come to that, but if I have to yes.” “David talk some sense into her.” “I don’t think it would do any good Celeste, she clearly has her mind made up and I have to think about what is best for the coven” David said matter of factly. “And what do you think is best?” She questioned. “Hunters are too much of a risk too us and if Draya refuses to terminate her relationship it is dangerous to associate with her on any level.” “Not exile surly?” Celeste says with concern. “No just shunned until she is no longer deemed a threat.” “No, I…I don’t like it; but you’re right.” “Celeste you can’t be serious!” I exclaim. Maybe I was foolish, but I had expected Celeste to at least attempt to defend me. “I am sorry Draya.” she said her voice was trembling and softer than a whisper but I still heard it. “Fine!” I rush up to my room, going into my closet. I grabbed the largest suit case from it and filled it with as many belongings as I could. Mostly clothes. I was just barely able to get it closed. Then I went over to my desk and gathered up all my unfinished pieces and put them into my Wooden Box Art Satchel and slinging it over my shoulder before grabbing my suitcase and heading back downstairs. “Looks like it’s my coven turning its back on me and not the other way around!” I shouted before heading out the front door slamming it behind me.

THE END

Will be continued in Forbidden Love Part 3

It’s over, it has to be. The way his eyes look. That shine of pain, the shine of giving up. “What are you saying?” I ask, my eyes on the floor. “I’m saying,” he lifts a hand to his neck, “Well I’m saying that.” I could feel the sting of tears crawling into my eyes, “Just say it!” My head shoots up to meet his nervous eyes, “Just say it Dae,” I hold back tears my voice cracking, “Just say it.” He lowers his hand to his side, “Well, I think this,” he lifts his hand to me, “Us, we’re. . .” I let the tears slide, “Over,” I finish for him.

I turn to walk away. I couldn’t handle to look at him any longer. I had loved him so much. I stop, and turn around. Dae is standing still, his hand back up to his neck. He’s nervous, he only ever does that when he’s nervous. “How could you,” I choke out, his eyes met mine, “How could you break me like this.” Dae shakes his head, taking a step closer. I shake my head, “After you told me you’ve never felt this way.” Dae lunges forward grabbing my hand in his, “Elina,” he says, “I didn’t. I wouldn’t. It was. . .” I shake my head again, “Don’t do this. It’s not you it’s me. I don’t need that. . . It’s just an excuse to get whatever you want.” Dae grabs my other hand, “Elina, I. . .” He takes a deep breath, “I love you.”

My heart skips, it’s the first time he’s said that. He’s told me things, so many things. But never that he loves me. “I. . . I don’t,” I stammer, his eyes clouding with tears. “I love you,” Dae whispers. I shut my eyes a tear escaping sliding down my cheek. “I,” I start, “Dae, I can’t. . . I loved you, but I can’t.” Dae let’s my hand fall, “You can’t love me or you don’t?” If only I knew. I loved Dae right now. But I had a feeling. It wasn’t meant to be, fate had chosen and it didn’t pick my life to collide with Dae’s no matter how much I wanted it to. “I don’t,” I force the words out, breaking my own heart along with Dae’s. I hoped he could tell this was a lie. The biggest lie I’ve ever told. Dae nodded, turning away from me. I watched him walk down the sidewalk, his hands in the pocket of his coat. I fall to the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. “I love you Dae!” I cry, “I’ve always loved you.” And yet I couldn’t tell him to his face. I couldn’t tell him that his life was mine. And it was all fates fault .

perfect smiles, white lies, nobody to notice when she cries, doors slammed, parents mad, how were they to know she felt so sad,

cradling her little sister, she was only there to assist her, quiet, quiet, don’t cry, this is the last time, oh what a lie,

why were we even born? two happy lives, needing to be torn, it’s not our fault, we did not deserve this, but isn’t it odd that we’ve never seen our parents kiss?

high-pitched screaming, wailing from the kitchen, to get away was my only mission, “i hate you” “get away from me” if only they’d stop, but the powers that be,

divorce would be best, but we would never suggest, for fear of another fight, another restless, waking night,

at the end of the day, only eighteen years then you move away, but the aching in our hearts, for a normal family, just the best parts,

but it seems that our fate was sealed from the beginning, and though we try, the hand we’re dealt can’t always be winning.