‘Don’t believe until you see it.’

Is what I told myself

I shoved the truth up on a shelf

But now it is here

Leaving me in fear

The warm gold was shifting to cold teal

It was all becoming real...

inanmayan gözlerle baktıkça ben,

Gerçekleri görtükçe kanıksayan tavrımla, Baş eğeeğerek kabullenmiş köle gibi , Her şeyin gerçek olduğounu acımasızca görüyordum....

They knew the day would come —

And so did she.

The guiding timepost was around

that Wednesday, when a sudden

and neurotic shift

has started hitting her,

for no apparent reason.

While something else, with

quite a spicy twist, no less,

just started hitting fan.

She would refer to this

back in her memory —

again, again...

and then —

She would have liked to say

they would be "mi...

Of course there are the fantasies

The nagging wants in the back of the mind

Leave this place

Burn your bridges

You don’t need these people

This place

This hateful

Sick

Place

But survival is the most demanding instinct

And the world is against you

It is set up that way

I never thought of myself as one to get trapped

It was always my nightmare to be strangled by obligation

But it is all ...

It’s finally happening.

It’s all becoming real.

The things that everyone said was just me.

Just me overthinking,

Thinking the worst.

Constant negativity.

But this time the worst happened.

This time all my overthinking was worth it.

Me being negative finally paid off.

And all those optimistic losers never saw it coming....

I laughed,

I mocked,

I grinned,

I scoffed,

I knew,

These palmists are of charlatans, of fakes,

To lose my job, my friends, my love, my life,

This surely will not come to pass for truth.

Her wizened eyes which held my gaze could not,

By sight or thought compel these slights to come.

The first call came, I grabbed my phone to see,

It was my boss who told to me, their need

of me was lost. A fluke, c...

you called me late at night

i was too tired to answer

your mom called me the morning

after you couldn’t fight it any longer

i couldn’t move or face it

the love you give, no one can replace it

i’ll just go to your house

kiss you in the hallway

like none of this happened

but i can’t do that.

it did happen,

and it was all becoming real....

Dreams are a crazy place

They are the place where anything is possible

You don’t have to believe in the real world

You just have to fall asleep

When you wake up to the blaring alarm

You wish to be back in your joyful bliss

With endless possibilities

It was becoming so real

But when the dream world you once knew

Comes crashing down

Where do you go

You find that you can’t sleep no more

All the tr...

I laugh, I cry, I feel.

Tell me, what is real?

I live, I hurt, I ache.

Tell me what is fake?

I don’t know all sorts of things;

Why do we have legs, but birds have wings?

How come we don’t know what the future brings?

What is death?

What is life?

How did I end up with this knife?

I’m lost and it stings.

Why do I ruin everything?

I think I’m going to break.

God I wish this all was fake.

Blood on my ...

This is my life. I sit on the roof ledge looking into the night sky. I play connect the dots with the stars like how we used to when we were kids, only it’s different now. You’ve been gone a year, but I’m still stuck here, on this ledge, with these thoughts, with these memories. For a moment everything goes away. All the problems, all the stress, all the joy, all the aching stops. I sigh as I repl...