I am gonna be alone again I voiced my fears but no one listened I had been alone before I knew the feeling deep down the dread of waking up in the morning going another day by yourself

I knew i was becoming alone again when they didnt pick up the phone when they stopped texting back When i became a distance memory the feeling slowly creeped up on me and sat on my shoulder for a while

I knew it was getting worse When no one texted me anymore When my best friend moved on When all I felt was sorrow Whenthat little feeling that sat on my shoulder Had become one with my heart

I knew I was alone When I cried all the time When my only friend was my cousin When I sat in the shower writing poetry When I opted out of having a birthday party because i didnt want it to get worse

I knew I was oh so alone When people were to busy for me When I was babysitting again When I was scared to vent to my sole friend in the fear she might leave me too I knew it then That it was all becoming real

It was all becoming real. The way he looks at me. The way I look at him. The way we see each other for who we really are, And who we wish to be.

Our whirlwind love. It happened so fast. Never wanting to be apart. Always longing for more. More of everything.

It was all becoming real The feeling in my chest I can’t know you We are miles apart. But I remember Twine embraces hearts together So as we follow the path blindly We are on an endless walk Meanwhile being pulled By the string on our souls Opposite directions Fighting the flow But if we are meant to be We shall find eachother Someday.

The boxes were still flat, Bought in bulk, Tape dispenser, labels, a fine fat marker shiny and new,

Repairs that had been untouched for years were suddenly finished, New paint, Fixed chips, Replaced appliances,

He’s done this thirty-six times, Shuffled from place to place like a rag, She’s never blown in the wind, Settled like and old mop left in the corner of the laundry,

Ten years of memories and dust to be packed away, Ten minutes down the road but a lifetime to go, Pack the first box, It was all becoming real.

It’s been an hour It’s been a day It’s been a year I’ve been waiting to see your face When you coming again So I can see your eyes Hear your voice See you light up the world With your smile and your jokes

Stuck in time Can’t go nowhere Lost in space Life is a mess Stuck in a darkness Can’t find my way I need help When you coming my way

Saw your mother again Said I was no good Told me to go away Her son deserved better Trying to find ya You keep disappearing Gone like your dead I’m going to find something I find myself Dressed in black

Stuck in time Can’t go nowhere Lost in space Life is a mess Stuck in a darkness Can’t find my way I need help When you coming my way

Growing old Listening to a cassette You gave me last Christmas Remembering the old times The stories you told My casket a waiting by yours Until my light comes back My darkness spreads My soul empty

Been told to put up my stuff Start acting like an adult Even though I’m 32 No one to help calm me During the dark storm Making a list of all the things I hate Wanting to be with you No matter how I can Crying everyday till I’m empty Wanting to know if you loved me

Stuck in time Can’t go nowhere Lost in space Life is a mess Stuck in a darkness Can’t find my way I need help When you coming my way

Sitting on the ledge Where we first met Wanting to follow you into the unknown It’s been a day I want to see your face over and over again When you coming my way

In time I go To see you again I’m growing old Goodbye to people who hate me And your mother who Told me good riddance You came to pick me up Your face the same I remember Light is in the final breath And it’s the end of it The end of my darkness Now I’m next to you forever till the end of time It is now becoming real

When you coming my way

The air was cold I felt a breeze on my neck as I stood outside Watching Waiting

Trucks drove in and out of my driveway People talked as they picked up boxes Then placed them down And then drove off

I felt a tear run down my cheek But it froze before it hit the ground

I wanted to puke Or sob Or throw a tantrum as if I was a toddler Because in this moment, I felt like one. The toddler that had grown up in this very house

All sorts of memories flooded my mind My first time riding a bike Building a treehouse with my dad When I got a puppy for my 10th birthday They all happened here.

I didn’t want to leave But I had to move on I was 16 now And my dad had gotten a job a few states away I had no choice.

This place was going to be someone’s else’s childhood home now I simply couldn’t believe it Nothing felt real

As the last of our belongings got packed up into the trucks I got into my car, ready to head to California. It was all becoming real.

Her heart felt heavy Her eyes grew cold She knew what was happening It was all becoming real

The halls echoed with pain Her feet unable to move She saw what was happening It was all becoming real

His heart felt full His eyes grew hungry He knew what was happening It was all becoming real

The room filled with laughter He danced gracefully around He knew what was happening It was all becoming real

Their eyes finally met Unspoken words told They knew what was happening It was all becoming real

Broken in by the light of day Mornings sleep in the afternoon Have no reasons to delay The work at home is unknown gone I can’t be past the pasture to stare I float along without a care I win enough to end up losing Pushed along without bruising What was the point of learning the none I’d begun to drift off as the teacher sung Surmised to decide where my ending bends I tend to retreat into the shell is my trend I finished and closed Got so close The hopes were dead And this was the ends It was to be what I feel It was all being real

Confusion turned to clarity Feelings of overwhelm transformed into direction Learning to sit still in the silence Embrace the discomfort, the uncertainty The universe was shouting Once gently encouraging now actively guiding Opening up my eyes Providing the insights, the tools Don’t run anymore, Don’t get lost in the mundane, the comfortable The known. Embrace what’s coming, what’s meant to be Relax in to it, trust your instincts Breathe. Release. You can do this, you can create the change you crave Build the life you yearn for, Find yourself again, the person you lost in the inbetween In that mess, the feelings of hopelessness Building up others but forgetting yourself You are transforming Experienced the cocoon in the safe away from the hurricane That was your life, that was the uncertainty and the instability And find yourself again It was all becoming real.

Sticky red blood oozed down my hands.

The body on the floor was blood covered too.

My impulsiveness went too far this time.

Flashing blue and red lights outside.

A man walks in, takes a look at the knife in my hand.

“YOUR UNDER ARREST”.

It was all becoming real.