Felina Freydl
Just a girl wanting to share her little writings and maybe one day being a author.đ
Felina Freydl
Just a girl wanting to share her little writings and maybe one day being a author.đ
Just a girl wanting to share her little writings and maybe one day being a author.đ
Just a girl wanting to share her little writings and maybe one day being a author.đ
My eyes slowly opening to catch the daylight My soul slowly closing, hiding in shadows My Heart slowly crumbling like dry leaves
Every day just the same Good Morning Good Night
But when am I supposed to live? School Work Duties Expectations
From the moment I open my eyes in the morning Awaking from my sweet little dreams Snatched from my peace Forced to awake in the reality A life Iâve never chosen
I have to perform I have to wear a mask But still itâs never enough Always good never the best Always helping never helped Always loving never loved Always admiring but never admired
Like I would live in the dark In deep spooky shadows Where no light finds a friend Untouched from warmth and stillness Far away from any peace and hope Snatched from life
I have to meet everyoneâs expectations Even if that means I have to act like someone else Someone I donât want to be But someone society expects
But still I have to be happy to live and be myself Even if that âmeâ doesnât exist anymore Thereâs just that made up version Just a little sketch Chaos Drawn and designed by everyone but me
I have to go to sleep with hope in my chest Even if, in reality, I never want to wake up again Just sink into my own invented world Far away from all the pain and hate Created by the people who truly fear it
âWhat are you hiding? I have known you since forever. We promised we wouldnât keep anything from each other. I kept my promise and I always thought you would too, but now I am not sure anymore,â Alex shook her head frustrated. I know that it was bad, I couldnât tell her the truth, it would change everything. Besides I am not even allowed to. âItâs complicatedâ, was all I could think of. Alex stood up and started walking around in the kitchen. âI canât believe this! After everything weâve been through? I really believed we were friends. No, I believed we were more than friends, I thought maybe you would like me too, like like more than a friend like!â, shouted she at me. Her face glowing bright red, her eyes filled with angry tears. âPlease, Alex donât. I canât tell you. I.. I am not who you thought I wasâ, stuttert I. â Alex uttered a contemptuous laugh: âYeah, you are right, I really thought you would be different, but hey everyone makes mistakes. And you were mine!â Ashamed Alex turned her back to me, when she started crying. I had to tell her the truth, I couldnât lose her. I love her. She was so close to discover the truth all by herself, she literally saw me transforming. She knows something is odd. But still I wasnât ready to tell her: âAlex please understand.â âNo! I always understand. I donât want to understand anymore. You canât just.. forget it! I canât stand you right now!â âAlex wait! I.. I am.. I am Spiderman. Please donât go. I need you. I love you! Slowly she turned around: âI know. I wish you the best. Goodbye.â My knees got weak, my head heavy, my thoughts loud, my sight black.
The Moment I had to entere the plane, the moment I sat down on my seat, looked out of the window, in exact that moment I realised what my heart was trying telling me. âI canât leave her, my true love, the only person, who could make me feel worth somethingâ Just for a few seconds I saw her, my light, my hope, my love, standing outside waving goodbye with tears in her eyes. My heart skipped some beats, as I could saw her sweet little smile. My very first tear since ages rolled down my wine red cheek. âMarie?â Immidiently I stood up, running to the enter. I had to get out of here. I had to be with her. Now and forever. But someone was holding me back. âNow itâs too late. She isnât here anymoreâ, a voice in my head telling me. Again I looked out of the window, but nothing. There was simply nothing. No light, no hope, no love, nothing without her. Aggressively I punched against the window. Sharbs were making my bloody hand shaking, my head was turning red, my heart started pulsing, crying out loud for help. As I woke up in the hospital again. Faced to the reality. âSir, stop! She is dead, thereâs nothing you could have changed. You had to go. Now please, let her go. Let her go were she belongs to now. Live your life for as long as you can, you never know what could happen.