“HOW DARE YOU?!?!” Mariana said. “What?” Nathan answered. “I TOLD YOU A QUADRILLION FIVE HUNDRED THIRTY SEVEN TIMES. WHY DID YOU DO IT?!?!” Mariana screeched, her hair frizzing in all directions. “Huh?” Nathan answered, utterly clueless. “DO YOU SERIOUSLY NOT KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT?!?!?!!!!????” Mariana screamed, shattering a wine glass. “No. I don’t.” Nathan said flatly. “How. Do. You. Not. Know. What. I. Am. Talking. About? YOU PUT THE PILLOW IN THE WRONG PLACE!!! I COULD HAVE FALLEN IN THE SPACE BETWEEN THE PILLOWS AND I WOULD HAVE SUNKEN IN THERE, NEVER TO BE SEEN EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Mariana broke all of the glass in the world at that point. “Wow.” Nathan laughed like an elephant.

April paced back and forth in the living room, her hands flailing in the air like a conductor leading a symphony of chaos. "Jonathan, how could you do this to me?!" she exclaimed, her voice reaching a decibel level that threatened to send the neighbors running for cover.

Jonathan blinked, his expression a mix of confusion and irritation. "Do what, April? I'm not following."

April stopped abruptly, turning to face him with a dramatic flourish. "Oh, don't you dare play dumb with me! You know exactly what you did!’’ She exclaimed with a waggling finger and a look that would have sent a puppy running with its tail tucked.

Jonathan rolled his eyes. "I really don't. You'll have to enlighten me."

April clasped her hands to her chest, her eyes wide with hurt. "You forgot... you forgot to put the toilet seat down!" she gasped, as if it were the greatest tragedy in the history of mankind.

Jonathan's confusion deepened. "Is that what this is about? April, come on, it's not that big of a deal."

"Not that big of a deal?!" April echoed, her voice rising to a pitch that could rival a soprano opera singer. "Jonathan, do you realize the sheer magnitude of the catastrophe that could have occurred? One wrong move and I could have plunged into the depths of the abyss, never to be seen again! Is a sudden departure from this world the tragic fate that you truly wish upon me? Because I’ll have you know, Jonathan, that this was life or death! Life. Or. Death!!"

Jonathan struggled to maintain his composure, a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "Okay, maybe I underestimated the gravity of the situation."

"Underestimated?" April exclaimed. She threw her hands up in exasperation, tugging at the frizzy red curls that had fallen loose. . "You have a knack for understatement! This was a cataclysmic event of epic proportions!" She screeched, wide eyed, Rocking back and forth on her heels.

Jonathan couldn't help but chuckle. "Alright, April, I get it. I'll make sure to double-check the toilet seat from now on. Happy?"

April's expression softened, her dramatic demeanor melting away as she gave him a grateful smile. "Oh, Jonathan, you have no idea what a weight off my shoulders that is! Now, let us never speak of this harrowing ordeal again!"

Jonathan nodded, relieved to see April returning to her usual self. "Agreed. And maybe next time, we can avoid the melodrama."

April gasped in offense. "Melodrama? Me? Jonathan, how dare you! My expressions are as subtle as a sledgehammer, thank you very much!"

Jonathan laughed, shaking his head as he followed her out of the room. "You never fail to entertain, April."

Prince Julius stormed into his bedroom chambers, ripping off the ivory cloak that trailed behind him and hurling a cluster of red roses at the foot of his bed.

Collapsing onto his feathered mattress, he belatedly realized the presence of Lilith, who, in her peculiar way, concluded her bathroom duties, mop in hand and bucket swishing with purpose, awkwardly shutting the door behind her.

“Ah, Lilith dear, I think I’m dying” Julius drawled. He almost felt bad for the amount of times he forced his maid to listen to his quarrels—until he reminded himself of her adept skill in mercilessly teasing him. That Lilith was indeed a menace. But Prince Julius was both to worn and heartbroken to care.

“Your not dying, my prince” she said, taking a seat at the edge of his bed. "Just as you weren't dying last week, and the week before that."

“Oh! But it is true!” He cried, his hand pressed against his heart beneath the silky satin of his shirt. “I feel my heart giving out now!”

Lilith let out a weary sigh, tucking her golden curls back as she inched nearer. She was like a concerned sister some days, and an accosting mother the next. “Tell me what worries you?” She asked imploringly.

There was no trace of mocking in her tone, so Prince Julius decided it was fine to tell her. “My dear Lenora. My sweet, sweet, beautiful Lenora rejected me. I laid my heart bare, and you know what she did? She called me a foolish prince in front of all the nobles in the gardens!” Julius’s voice kept rising and rising until it was a mix of shouts and whispers. “The shame! Rejection! Can you fathom it? I don’t believe I will ever come to love again!”

Lilith took the embroidered covers of the princes bed and draped it over his long body. “There there” she said, as if the boy her same age was a child. “The same thing happened with Elise. And Carmen. And oh—what was her name—“

“Luisa.”

“Yes, her!” Lilith placed a cold hand to the princes fevered brow, that was hot and clammy. “You will get over it, and I will tease you about it like the rest.”

Prince Julius recoiled from Lilith’s touch, his gaze wounded and flustered. “I will not get over this” he said. “I am destined to be left forever heart broken, and I would appreciate it if you would just go and clean some chimney’s.”

Lilith gasped, then got up and began walking out the dim room. She had no time for rude princes who squandered their days pinning after heartbreak, like a sad excuse of a ballad. “One must acknowledge”, she said, “That some people need a good slap back to reality. On the face. With a tram.”

“Oh just leave me to my sulking already” Prince Julius exasperated.

Lilith left, knowing that in a day or two his temper tantrum would cease, and she could bring up all the words his hopeless heart had said. She smiled to herself thinking that, and went back to mopping.

Ding. Kimmy ran from the elevator and down the hotel’s hallways. Her mind raced for answers. Just a few hours ago Kimmy and Angela eating eight dollar mini bar Twizzlers and bored af. Angela found something cool on YouTube. Subdued abstract paintings zipped past as Kimmy stumble ran to room 931. Why did I do this stupid creepy pasta Bloody Mary shit? Kimmy thought. Maybe Angela is waiting with Dad in their room. Her heart pounded as she pounded the door. “Daddy it’s me. I’m sorry you have to believe me. This isn’t like the last time. Angela and I did that elevator game. I know you said no. Dad!” The door cracked opened. “I’ve called security again,” the middle aged man said. “Daddy please I’m scared. You got to help me. I can’t find Angela. We followed the directions to enter another realm. It worked. We saw the black grey sky and the burning cross. I got video. But when we traveled back to our realm on this floor, it was just me. Alone on the elevator.” She peppered the door with knocks as she talked. Now other hotel doors cracked opened. Faces, confused or angry dotted the hallway. A pair of security officers rounded the corner. In a spurt of fear, Kimmy pushed open Room 931. Her not dad shoved her back hard. Somewhere a woman screamed. Kimmy slammed against corridor walls and slid down the wallpaper. Her phone smashed and skittered across the hall. “Mom? Is that Mom?” “Stop! Why are you doing this? we have no children.” Helping her to her feet, a guard held Kimmy’s elbow. Between the two massive uniformed men, Kimmy was frog marched towards the elevator. The elevator’s doors were closing. Between the slabs of metal, Kimmy caught a glimpse of her sister’s back. The girl wrenched free and dove through the closing doors. Kimmy was alone in the elevator car. Wildly Kimmy spun trying to make sense of it all. Pressing the nine button, Kimmy tried to call her sister but no bars. With a slight shake the machine came to life. Why did I do this stupid creepy pasta Bloody Mary shit? Kimmy thought. Maybe Angela is waiting with Dad in their room. Ding.

“Sooooo, it went like this”, he started. “No it didn’t, it didn’t even start”, I step in. “But it did, and it was the absolute worst”, he continued. I roll my eyes. “Worst what?” “It was so bad, I wanted my time back, let alone my money!!” “Really? What happened this time?” “You wouldn’t believe me” he says My eyes feeling heavy, “try me” “They forgot to put milk in my tea again” he finished as I decided to headbutt the table.

Gabby came running to the room, balling her eyes out with mascara dripping down her face.

“Oh my gosh” she cries out. “Guys, I literally almost died.”

As she continues to freak out on the couch me and Madison exchange looks. Not that we don’t care, we just know that she…well is a little over the top.

“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask, hoping she will dismiss me.

She wipes her face smudging her makeup all over to the point she looked like the joker.

“Yeah I would” she mumbles.

I can hear Madison let out a small sigh, but quickly correct it with a smile.

Gabby sits straight and begins talking so loudly I can barely understand her words.

“So like, I was just minding my business, and I get a message from a friend asking if I’m ok, right? So I’m like yeah girl, I’m good, what’s this about. And SHE says that a news reporter was covering a story about a murder, and my car was literally right behind him. So like, if I was in my car a few hours after I got out, I would be like, right near the murder.”

It took everything inside me not to break out in laughter.

“Maybe this is something you should bring up to your therapist?” I ask keeping in the giggles bubbling inside me.

She put her hand to my mouth and says, “how can you even suggest that! Everyone can see my license plate now and I’ll become the target of the next murder. I have to move out of LA.”

This time, Madison can’t keep in her giggles and starts laughing right at Gabby’s face.

“I’m sorry Zi, you can deal with her yourself” she says while grabbing the nachos and walking away.

I turn back to Gabby, who is still in distress.

“Look Gabby, nobody is going to want to target a random car on TV.”

“You. Don’t. Get. It!” She groans. “I can be linked to the crime and hunted down. I have watched enough true crime to know how this works. I think I’ll have to change my look and stuff, maybe even my name!”

This girl is helpless. I get up from the sofa, and mumble “your not special enough to be hunted down you know” before leaving. Sometimes tough love is what it takes to smack someone back into reality.

Narvine was half asleep when the doors vibrated from its sudden impact with wall. Her eyes pierced the air aimed at the man who had invaded her cafe at such a late hour.

“You’ll never believe it,” the man said shaking the rain from his his overcoat. The two customers who had been sitting quietly enjoying a pre-shift pick-me-up slowly look up from their mugs. The man steals a moment of eye contact with the lady closest to the door and saunters over trying to kick the water from his trousers. “I was just sitting there,” leaning down to the customer’s face, “just sitting! Normally I doze off this time of night. It’s not that I don’t take my job seriously, but you try staying awake with no conversation, no tv.”

The man turns away from the lady and heads straight for Narvine, “I can only read so many books. So yeah I doze off. It’s not that I don’t take my job seriously.” He sits down exhausted at the bar.

“There was something we weren’t going—“

“Right!” He jumps from his stool and stumbles toward the other customer - a man who had gone back to his coffee, “There I was. It had been an incredibly long night already. The hours I’ve wasted sitting and staring at nothing. And that’s what happens every night. Nothing. But tonight,” he looks at the man with the coffee, “Listen to this! Tonight was different.”

“Are you going to tell us,” the customer grumbles, “actually I don’t care. Narvine! What time is it?”

“Narvine! Narvine? What a beautiful name,” the boisterous man shifts his gaze back onto Narvine. “You must here that all the time. My name is Bob. B-O-B or backwards B-O-B. It’s so boring. Some nights I write down all the names I wish I was given at birth. It’s a long list. I mean, what else am I going to do? I take my job seriously and writing is a hell of a way to stay awake. At least my name isn’t Francis. Francis is such an old and outdated name, but Narvine. That is…you should call your parents and thank them.”

Narvine is looking at him as if he might have something interesting to say, but probably not. Then she leans to one side, “Francis? It’s one-thirty.”

“Hey, Francis. No hard feelings I hope,” Bob says as he flies over to the man’s table. “You didn’t pick your name and what do I know I sit and stare at the wall for a living. My name is one letter short of boob.” He shoots a look at Narvine, “Not that I have anything against boobs. I love boobs. I mean, not your boobs. Well honestly you have amazing boobs, but when someone is called a boob. Well, they’re saying the person is dumb or unpopular. Where was I? Right! There I was and suddenly I’m not alone. Two people bust into my lobby. That alone is more action than the lobby has seen in all my years manning the circular desk.”

“Did these two people do anything,” the woman by the door asked.

“They shot each other. I couldn’t believe it. It was like a—“

“Where do you work, sir!” Narvine screamed over his ramblings, “what lobby do you sit in?”

“The Pint. It’s just 2 blocks east of here. You can probably hear the screams if you step outside. It was so loud. It’s why I came down here. This is the first place that was open. After the busted in…”

Bob continued talking, but Narvine was already on the phone with the police.

Neither of the dueling men survived.

“Cause I’ll beat everybody ass in here!” Yelled Rashawn.

The chatter came to a screeching hault at Jess’ birthday party.

“All y’all some thieves and ain’t nobody leaving until I get my Hennessy”, says Rashawn drunkenly.

“Rashawn what are you talking about?” asked Jess.

“I bought a bottle for the group and a bottle for me and one of y’all bitch asses took my shit!”, shouted Rashawn.

“Aye homie whoever you talking to you better put a stamp on it cause who you think you talking to forreal?”, says Dre.

Jess quickly gets up and in between Dre and Rashawn.

Jess knew how Rashawn can get, but in the name of celebration she invited him to her birthday kickback. Immediately regretting it as it begins to get tense.

“Shawn you didn’t even walk in here with a bag what are you talking about”, Jess says confusingly.

“Yes the fuck I did I bought two bottles for you and they punk asses and y’all decide to take MY shit” exclaimed Rashawn.

As Jess begins to push him back, Rashawn gets progressively angry and other partygoers grow more impatient at the disrespect.

“Yo Jess get ya man’s before shit get ugly for him” says Dre.

“UGLY FOR WHO NIGGA?” exclaimed Rashawn.

“Nigga YOU” says Dre as he begins to walk towards Rashawn clutching his fist.

“Dre I’ll handle it please dont” Jess continues “Rashawn it’s probably in the fucking car and your drunk ass forgot it!”

“Man on my mama I brought the bottles in this bitch!”

“Let’s go check then. You need some fucking air drunk ass!” exclaims Jess.

Jess walks behind Rashawn to the car.

“Shawn I love you but you are a liability when you’re drunk! How you gone insult everybody in the house and think nobody was gone buck?!”

“Man I went to the store before I even came here” says Rashawn as he searches for his keys.

Jess looks in the backseat window in disbelief.

“I know damn well this white bag with two bottles in this back seat is not what you THOUGHT you took in the house. Open this damn door Shawn”.

Burning with embarrassment, Rashawn pats his pockets profusely, “boy ain’t no way boy”.

“Unlock the damn door,” says Jess impatiently.

Rashawn pulls his car keys out and opens the door. Jess grabs the bag of alcohol and stares at Rashawn so sharp, he began to turn red.

“Wow this crazy I could’ve sworn I took that shit out!” says Rashawn.

“And I could’ve sworn that you didn’t! You just insulted everybody in the damn house because YOU didn’t double check!” Exclaimed Jess.

“Jess I brought a bag in the house I know I did I’m not fucking tripping” explained Rashawn.

Jess rolls her eyes and begins to walk back towards the house.

Rashawn continues, “no Jess I swear I had something in my hand when I first came in.”

As Jess goes back in the kitchen with the bag of alcohol, she glances to her right and sees a diaper bag. She turns around abruptly and looks at Rashawn.

“Shawn is this your fucking diaper bag?” as she points to the chair the diaper bag is sitting on.

Rashawn’s eyes gets big as he realizes it is indeed his sons diaper bag.

Confused, Rashawn explains, “The diaper bag is in my backsea…” as he pauses mid word. He realizes the bag he brought inside was the diaper bag, not liquor.

He continues to explain, “wow my bad Jess, I…”

Jess cuts him off, “you are a true idiot” she says in disbelief.

I was drowning…thankfully I was rescued. Of course an obvious fact since is not a corpse who is sharing his adventures with you… just to think about makes me lose my breath GASP it’s like I’m still underwater. Oh no! I can’t keep telling you about this or I might lose my train of thought and forget to…. Mmmm GASP INHALE EXHALE INHALE..perhaps the most terrifying thing may happen… I may start crying and now I’m so afraid of water that my own tears might kill me.

“GUYS!!”

“Ugh, what Grace.”

I wish they cared more.

“My parents are throwing this HUGE birthday party for me! Are you exited?”

“Sure, whatever.”

“What’s wrong? Is everything alright?”

“No. You’re annoying us. Please leave us alone. You never care about what I want and I’m completely sick of it.”

“Oh. Ok then. Goodbye.”