pretty, beautiful, drop-dead gorgeous smart, intelligent, a genius liked, loved, admired nice, sweet, kind funny, hilarious, absolutely crazy noticed, cared for, appreciated held, beheld, beloved

The happiest day of my life

Was the day I met beloved

For all the days I’ve lived

I thought my soulmate was dead

I was beheld with a ring

By my beloved

And I let a single word fall from my lips

‘Yes’

I was held close

By the one I called babe

I am

Held, beheld, beloved.

Here is a book. Talk to it. Tell it the secret your sister made you swear you’d keep. Tell it about the line for coffee at the cafe this morning. When he lies, shake your head. When he’s kind, bat your eyes. Laugh at the jokes, even when they’re not funny. It’s okay that you got it wrong. Try again. You are not a failure. Don’t you ever let them think that. You will grow with time and care. Treat yourself. You always look good. You are always shining. At times you will collapse. And your people will be there to carry you. You are all-authentic. Admirable and polite. Held, beheld, beloved.

I am sick again, No sight, no end, My eyes are dim

It’s over and I’m tired, Some rest I do seek, A place for me to sleep

The world is turning I can see everything No peace, no dreams

I’m going to die soon, It’s something I plan to do, Let my heart tell the truth

I am in search of I am trying to I am doing

So lose no sleep Do not grieve Forget me, please

I am saying goodbye, I am closing my eyes, I am going to die

And never will I be Held, Beheld, Beloved

Your eyes,

like verdant fields gently swaying to the rhythm, the oaks whispering another chorus, lifting their voices to a cloudless sky.

To behold them is to be beheld by the embrace of forest

• teeming with the life of the warm sunlight flowing through the birdsong, tickling the leaves.

To have loved them, To have been seen, To have cherished, I have been cherished, undeservedly.

To have made them weep, A blossom in decay, twisting shades of sage with the tinge of anguish as the petals fall from your face - gracefully resting about your hands as you hide your eyes from me.

What have I done?

The sea consumes the canopy, a roar of sea foam agony collapsing upon the peace. Cold air sticks to us. Waves breaking off the fallen trees, cling to one another, drowning.

Even still.

In your eyes, I find myself.

Held, beheld, beloved.

I struggle like everyone I try to relax But I’ve built up a list Of all the facts

The things that make me mad The terrors of the world At least for me An insecure girl

When the dress won’t fit and you have to size up. When the girls make fun of the guy you love. When your sick of bloating like an air balloon. When he says good bye without a “see you soon”.

I just want to be held, beheld, beloved.

You aren’t here On the bus Rehearsal taking up time You didn’t see what happened When his knuckles touched mine I never meant to do it An instinct you could say While I was already having A really terrible day You’re not here to comfort me While I wince in my pain You’re not here to make me smile While my life goes down the drain When I see you My world lights up You’re like a break from life While my heart sits here Being cut up by a knife We aren’t talking Even though I want to I’m too shameful to look I just hope she’s interested With her nose in a book Remember the times When you were here You could make me better without even trying But now I sit here alone On the bus crying

Long live the monster Scary, angry, gentle, kind Held, beheld, beloved

Hold her closer, Don’t leave her side. You really know her, At least you tried.

She pushed you away, You both pushed and shoved, But you held her harder, Held, beheld, beloved.

Held, beheld, beloved Squishy soft and warm in my fingers Browsing the shelves With my hands and my eyes Until I find the perfect skein

Beheld, beloved, held Hours, days, weeks I carry my knitting with me always Stealing curls of time with my needles

Beloved held beheld Picot edges frame your face Your small arms reach out In woolly sleeves to me

Emptying drawers in an Empty house Folded with a lavender sachet And moth holes One tiny green memory with a picot edge Held Beheld Beloved