you never asked, but I’m not okay after what you did to me? I don’t know if I ever will be I get it I do you realized I’m not who you thought I was fine I know it I know I’m not pretty I’m not that funny nor smart not popular really awkward kinda crazy actually really crazy but I don’t think I deserve what you did I know it might not have felt like anything to you but it did to me and I still don’t understand why you did it what even happened how could you just change your mind like that one day we were almost in love the next you’re like oops sorry don’t like you didn’t wanna hurt you so I lied told you I did but I didn’t never did, never will pfft well you just did so it’s been forever since then you probably haven’t thought about me in a while but I think about it time to time think about you think about what it could’ve been like if you weren’t a jerk or maybe just an idiot I’m not even sure I don’t even know what happened but I do know you ruined it you ruined me sure I’ve liked guys after you one of them was great he’s nice makes me laugh we’re still friends my feeling just faded away as I fell for this one oof this one he’s pretty like really pretty don’t know much about him but he makes me heart jump he makes me smile just by being in the same room you know you used to do that not anymore now my smile fades away whenever I see you or hear your name or think about you think about what you did to me you’re never gonna be sorry that hurts you hurt me and you’ll never feel the pain when I was crying because of you you didn’t care you maybe didn’t know but you didn’t care you didn’t even ask no, you didn’t care you never cared after me you got an actual girlfriend with the label together for a year and she dumped you I’m guessing it was her maybe she saw you for who you are a jerk an idiot whatever it may be I don’t care I hate you all the same hate what you did to me hate you’ll never feel how I felt you broke me I hope she broke you too it doesn’t look like it from the outside but I hope you got a taste of pain of what you did to me I wish you felt that I wish you were sorry I know you don’t you aren’t but I wish you were it just hurts even after this long you still hurt me and I don’t think that pain is ever gonna go away you may have forgotten me but I haven’t forgotten you nor what you did to me I hate you what you did to me it’s stupid it just hurts

You never asked, but I hate you And I love you at the same time Does the world revolves around you, Or does it revolve around others as well? You never asked, but hate your smirkiest grin And yet I love you for it Do you know that instead of helping people, You hurt them? You never asked, but I hate it when your right And I love it when your wrong Do you ever think about the nicknames others are entitled too, Because of you? You never asked, but I hate it when you shut me out of your world And I love it when you let me in Does everything make sense to you now, Because you need me? You never asked, but I hate you And love you at the same time Btw, this was inspired by the book “P.S. I love you” which is a great book to read!

You never asked, But… Thank you for all you’ve done You know everything About me My sins, My failures, My thoughts, My weaknesses Yet you never Gave up on me Even when I Complain and cry You love me, even when I couldn’t love myself All you ask is for Praise and worship And for us to make Disciples out of people And even though, Jesus, You have never asked, Thank you for everything

Here we are, Bleeding from these scars. Asking where there were, Wounded like a cur. Here you are, Head full of stars. Plundering my sadness, Just so I could feel less. Here I am, Soul worth a damn. Wondering my thoughts, In your net caught. Here we were, Overseeing our spiral. Not causing mal, But this is what we were. … Love You R … 🖤

You never asked, but I love you My blood boils My shin crawls My body shakes My love is too strong It’s an obsession You never asked, but I hate you My fist clenched My body recoils I hit you in your pretty little face It’s a fantasy You never asked, but I’m broken I hate the way you make me feel Like a monster Like a creature Like a cannibal It’s true You never asked, but I can’t do this anymore I hold up the knife I’m too weak to do it I’m too tired to try Depression grasps my soul It’s devastating You never asked Anything Because you never Cared

You never asked, but, I love the way the sun Dances golden light upon your skin, Glittering it a pale gold. I love the way you smile When we twirl like the wind, Our hands interlaced, Quite like leaves and a breeze. I love the way you speak, How your voice is soft— Your lips like sweet honey, Spurring delicious words. I love how you understand. Through tough times, You always help us win triumph— Love always wins. I love _you_ for who _you_ _are_. You never asked but, Please don’t ever change.

There is a reason why I eat peanut m&ms even though I don’t like peanuts There’s a reason why I take the chocolate milkshake over vanilla at certain restaurants And why I walk in some rooms to just stop and think Or go through different departments in the store that I have no interest in There _is_ a reason And the reason is him All of these things remind me of him And some days I just need to go back in time Think of the things he would do And do them myself because he no longer can These tiny Unimportant things makes me feel closer to him And when you lose someone You’ll do anything you can to bring them back Even for just a second To remind yourself that they were real And that they were once here

You never asked but I really did care about you. It was only you. You never asked but I couldn’t help but love you. You were my only. You never asked but I’d have been yours forever. But you weren’t mine.

I’ve been breaking apart These past couple of weeks I’ve been falling into a rabbit hole Not knowing what it is I seek Is it truth? Or maybe kindness? Maybe it’s just one person Who doesn’t call me worthless Failures never stray past your eyes But my successes you’ll let stride I’ve already lost count Of how many nights I’ve uncontrollably cried Tears do nothing Is what you say With eyes dark and solemn expression Disappointment marring your face I’ve thought about ending it all More than a couple of times Yet I can’t help but think Would I be running away from all of my problems if I just let myself sink?

You never asked, but… It hurts me, too. I never wanted to hurt you But lately that seems like all I do I care so much that I cry over thunderstorms At the thought that those that I love could be gone in an instant But I understand you’re the victim When you called me about something that happened two month ago You’ve been miserable for all that I know Why am I even here then, though? For most of my life, I’ve been killing my mind Since I was eleven, I’ve made myself cry It took so much to be able to speak It took so much to remember to breathe I’ve had to teach myself how to socialize How to accept myself just enough to survive How to remember to do simple tasks How to be fucking happy And yet I still worry I still think about death sometimes I still wonder why you’d ever choose to be with me But you’re here And you’ve been here Why? If all I do is make you miserable I apologize profusely and promise I’ll change Then never do— Why are you still here? Guilt And shame Are the two feelings I hate I’ve felt them for most of my life and don’t want to feel them again. Guilt And shame Are what I felt When you called me You never asked, but… It hurts me, too.