Voice of Angel That tells lies

Used to be friends But now…..

Tell me what changed? Behind that fake smile

Your love feels hallow I can’t deal with this sorrow

You told me you’d change But all I feel is pain

You said you loved me That your proud of me

All lies

Tell me where has the time gone? Back when I used to make you happy?

Back when we’d sing together As if the world didn’t fall apart

You left me to pick up the broken pieces Your laughter echos in my mind

I try to feel better you offered protection I just feel rejected

You say you’d come back…

I had to hug myself To feel ok

I wear a mask like a fake smile I put the broken peace’s of my heart Back together

I found a friend Yet I’m scared I’ll lose her

That she will reject me

That she will leave me

I’m scared that I’ll neglect her And give fake promises

I’m scared of turning into you

My dear sister all I feel is betrayal

I hate that you know what I’m talking about. I never even told you, but you already know, don’t you? They told you because they were “expressing their concerns?”

I used to trust them without a single doubt. But my privacy was carelessly violated. I should be the one to tell you about it on my own terms.

I don’t want to get so riled up or be so crass. But “catching you up on all friend group lore” my ass.

Is that all my trauma is to them? Some lore? Hot gossip to burn me with, tea of my tears to drink with, rumours to use as prompts for games of broken telephone?

Welcomes are polite but you weren’t here before. Do you think you’re entitled to my privacy because you joined our friend group? I am a stranger you’ve never known.

I’ll talk about it and hope to find contentment. I guess it’s better than harbouring resentment.

Burnt, Cuts, Scars.

Bruises, Shut, Cars.

Braced, Loss, Stars.

Name, Trust, Gone.

Anger, Sadness, Gone.

Ache, Shell, Here.

That, Hell, Fear.

…

Love you Baby 🖤

My heart hurts Chest heavy Hot tears streaming Lungs burning As I scream at you “Look what you’ve done” “How could you do this” “You’re a monster” You broke my trust Destroyed it all So leave I can’t stand your face

You come faster than you leave. Your cocoon of lies keeps you warm at night While I look at my empty bed— Icicles or daggers stabbing me in the back— It feels like your lips tracing the spine You walked all over. Butterfly kisses like a bullet through my heart—

I flew into your arms Because you promised me warmth.

And it felt like I was on top of the world, Looking down on the unloved like I never knew what it was like to wake up alone.

Now your love turns cancerous, Rotting my body from the inside out.

She asked if I was broken. I responded, “Pick a piece to ask”

A constellation surrounded by dark

Never gazed upon

Never traced with fingertips

Darkness that pollutes city lights I’ll never join the sky.

I glimmer shortly for heads hung low The glass unswept that sinks between concrete texture,

Covered by a single leaf of fall.

I’ve gripped the wind with pollen Yet, nothing seemed to bloom.

I’m two hands stuck at noon Moved in an instant from, to get time from someone else.

She asked me if I was broken.

I looked around and asked myself.

The sun sets upon my rainy day, Thunder crackles, demons cackle— They know I’ve reached the end of the road.

My eyes burn, heavy with grief, No longer do I yearn for relief— Your betrayal lingers, bitter on my tongue.

You, Judas, with your sweetened lies, Kiss my cheek and meet my eyes, Guiding them to me with your cunning smile.

They hand you the silver, blood on their hands, You take the weight and flee the lands, But pause, as if to say—

“You should have known better.”

Gnawing emptiness circling the hollow cavity trying to find a place to settle down but there’s no room amongst the memories, the flashbacks of your smile and the trust in your eyes, the echoes and replays of what possibly could’ve gone wrong and what I could’ve done differently. I’m sorry. When I betrayed you, I betrayed me.

The emptiness felt at the bottom of the heart,
Stomach muscles turning is a delicate art.
Relooping thoughts in the mind,
A smile drooping, left behind.

Heavy breathless breathing,
Anger’s edge, the jaw is seething.
Harmful disclosures, piercing the soul,
Unspoken words are taking their toll.

the wife cheats on you

the friend drunkenly spills your secrets

the babysitter molests your child

the publisher tells you no

the boss lays you off

the boss hires somebody else

the government continues to steal from you

the beggar does, too

and you go through life fighting through betrayal

fighting through trust and hope and the overwritten fear and loathing

but you fight through because the curse of mankind is the need for interaction with other mankind

so you hire a new babysitter find new friends marry for a second time and then a third

get a new job expect a promotion pay your taxes

and continue walking through the cave with your headlight turned off