My chest feels like it’s collapsing on itself, Constricting my ragged breathing, Constricting my thumping heartbeat,

How could you?

My eyes are on the verge of bleeding tears, Seconds away from flooding my cheeks, Hopelessness gradually discoloring my skin,

Why did you?

I wish to shriek and shout, But my lips remains a thin line, My brain processing, disbelieving…

Why do you not care?

My soul believes it is common waste, My security feels imaginary, And it’s all from your selfishness,

Did you ever care?

My trust in you is a glass vase on the ground, Shattered into millions, Spilling its contents on the hardwood, Waiting for someone to throw it out or repair it.

What did I do to deserve this?

A God rules over me A God no one else has known Her sweet words lull me Her halo seen shining If you cut off her wings I take a knife to your heart Place it beating on the altar I made her From bones I cut off Silky tears woven into an offering for my God If you could only hear the sweet words She sends to my heart Betrayal has never been so blissful Deceit has never been so pure Intoxication is what I am high on Your blood is what I adore Rule over me for all eternity My God A God no one else sees If you cut her wings I shall watch you all bleed

Stabbed by a knife In my soft heart Building it up like stone Red hot rage spills through My mascara ruined Hurt from your betryal I don’t care It’s time for my fight

You hurt me Imenassly In a way you can’t rebuild I will just wait till you realize I will pretend to act normal And hide my tears everyday And then hurt you Make you learn a lesson I can’t wait for the day when I can

I can taste the betrayal On my tongue And it tastes sweet Who knew it will Taste so good

in truth you shattered what you swore to keep you stabbed me in the back a million times over you must be a wolf that looks like a sheep remember when we sat in the garden? and you said i was your four leaf clover? you swore you'd never betray me, but you must have forgotten. i mean, did you atleast get what you wanted? you played with my emotions, used my body, and then flaunted. i was okay with it at first, i thought that you loved me but then i saw her, and now you are nothing like you used to be. i find it comedic how you didn't even try to explain you left me in silence, drowning in pain but thank you anyway, you've made yourself clear. it took me a while to see i am not the one that you hold dear. and when you remember me i hope you regret it i mean honestly, you could have just said it, you never loved me, just the shape of my skin a fleeting touch, but never what was within.

‘Betrayed by what?’

By life?

By my heart?

‘No, by the beating of your heart’

Really?

How?

‘You think it’s the beat of your heart that matters but it’s the silence in between, you know that part where you remember that song, that memory’

…

I love you baby 🖤

In moments I think of our friendship How something so good went so fast I blinked to see it disappear I blinked to let a tear fall down Who knew a stab in the back could hurt so much?

In moments I think of our happiness How a smile could turn into a frown like a snap I took a breath while you grin I took a breath while the knife sank in Who knew that a heart could easily break like glass?

In seconds I try not to think of anything Thoughts of us are echoing around my mind I tried to throw them away I tried to light them on fire But who knew that really I just want to reminisce?

To remind me of what we were To remind me how we met How we became best friends To remind me what happened What tore between us And I wish I could change your mind Because in moments and seconds You can think of me You can think of what we had And do you really want that gone? But you burned me with your flame Making me melt like a candle While your figure stands tall

In moments I think of our friendship In moments I think of our happiness In seconds I try not to think of anything As you betraying me finally sinks in How could you do something like that? Stab a knife in my back and twist it With a grin upon your face In seconds trust is gone And I blink.

Blink.

A knife to the heart Red hot rage

You hurt me immensely In ways i cant recover from

A fight And a new place to stay

A right and a wrong way

You loved me once Now not at all

I ignored your dirty calls

You were my only one Now you dont think I am any fun

Just wait till everyone knows then ill get my revenge

I wont beg you to come back I know it will do no good

I’ll wait a while I know I should

But i will say this Who knew betrayal could taste so good

Im sitting in my room Crying We made a plan And yet you failed You said you didn’t mean it But yet you went behind my back We were a team But now we’re apart Torn from each other You broke me But now I can’t understand what you did So just leave Or I will kill you And soon I will have my revenge

Voice of Angel That tells lies

Used to be friends But now…..

Tell me what changed? Behind that fake smile

Your love feels hallow I can’t deal with this sorrow

You told me you’d change But all I feel is pain

You said you loved me That your proud of me

All lies

Tell me where has the time gone? Back when I used to make you happy?

Back when we’d sing together As if the world didn’t fall apart

You left me to pick up the broken pieces Your laughter echos in my mind

I try to feel better you offered protection I just feel rejected

You say you’d come back…

I had to hug myself To feel ok

I wear a mask like a fake smile I put the broken peace’s of my heart Back together

I found a friend Yet I’m scared I’ll lose her

That she will reject me

That she will leave me

I’m scared that I’ll neglect her And give fake promises

I’m scared of turning into you

My dear sister all I feel is betrayal

I hate that you know what I’m talking about. I never even told you, but you already know, don’t you? They told you because they were “expressing their concerns?”

I used to trust them without a single doubt. But my privacy was carelessly violated. I should be the one to tell you about it on my own terms.

I don’t want to get so riled up or be so crass. But “catching you up on all friend group lore” my ass.

Is that all my trauma is to them? Some lore? Hot gossip to burn me with, tea of my tears to drink with, rumours to use as prompts for games of broken telephone?

Welcomes are polite but you weren’t here before. Do you think you’re entitled to my privacy because you joined our friend group? I am a stranger you’ve never known.

I’ll talk about it and hope to find contentment. I guess it’s better than harbouring resentment.