Writing Prompt

WRITING OBSTACLE

Describe a strong emotion without saying what it is.

You could use metaphors and creative description, or you could focus on what your senses perceive when you are feeling this emotion.

Writings

Who Would I Be If I’m Not Sick?

TW sh, ed

I began by losing interest in the things that used to bring me joy, the people who used to light up my world now just reminded me how dark it is.

I slowly lost all hope that I have for myself, and the scary thoughts crept into my head. What would it be like if I wasn’t here anymore? I ask myself every night while I slice open my skin, hoping the external pain takes away from all the pain I feel inside.

The scars up and down my legs were a reminder of the pain that I feel, of the pain that I deserve.

My illness is slowly killing me from the inside out with every meal I skip, every cut I make, every thought that makes me wonder what the point of living is anymore.

I’m forgetting how to sleep, forgetting how to breathe, forgetting everything I learned when I was in the state of mind that they call recovery.

Haunted dreams plague my nights when I finally exhaust myself enough and remember to take my pills, ruining the sleep that I worked so hard to earn.

Now I’m constantly ruminating over my past mistakes, over the people I feel I’ve disappointed. I stuff my feelings into a little ball and stuff it deep inside my heart, hoping to forget them but with every day I let them sit they grow, they multiply, transforming my mind into a battlefield where all my soldiers are weak from disease the disease that is slowly taking my life away from me.

The life I’m living isn’t a life worth living. But it’s not that I truly want to die, I just don’t want to live.

I don’t want to be forever trapped in this world of gray.

But the second I begin to feel better I begin to miss my sickness.

Because who the hell am I if I’m not sick anymore?