Kyle 26 was in a park sitting on a bench waiting. He watched the ignorant people enjoy themselves in the park couples having picnics. kids playing with water guns, and people just out for a jog. Of course they would be out on this beautiful hot day especially with the birds singing and the fresh cut grass who wouldn’t want to be out here enjoying the day. Kyle then heard the the shaking of the leaves in a light breeze. “It has begun.” Kyle muttered to himself as he tipped his fedora to look mysterious.
Dark clouds slowly began to accumulate in the sky above him just as he predicted. A low frequency hum was heard by all and all of a sudden in the center of the clouds a burst out a dazzling display of lights looking like rainbow fire falling from the sky trailing the lights was a Flying saucer more saucer shaped then any body had seen. A young toddler in a carriage pointed to the ship and exclaimed “Mommy whats that”. Another man could be heard yelling “Fuck this planet has gone to hell.” As well as many other mutters from many other folk. Slowly the craft landed and the door to the craft opened and walking out the craft was a small 3 foot purple man much wider than a human, with long arms that dragged on the ground. He wore a top hat and a big button on his button up shirt that said “vote for Zousarlgat”. The local school marching band began to play as Zousarlgat began to take pictures with his fans.
Kyle looked angered from across the park at Zousarlgat he knew with all his hart that he had used his alien random number generator to rig the last election. He was ready to free his planet from the clutches of the intergalactic “common peace and resource core”. He slowly pulled his katana out of it’s sheath while uttering repeatedly “Miku please let my blade strike true”. He charged at the corrupt politician alien with all his might he felt as though he could die at this moment and be happy…
In actuality bone of this was real Zoursarlgat had already put Kyle into a pod and was using his body as a battery to power his ship. Zoursarlgat laughed in amusement as he swiped to the next video of another humans thoughts in there looping virtual lives .
ZAP!!! Green lightning flew from the pair of hands into the leg in a brace. The elderly women sitting on the examination bench face quickly turned from pain too shock, and then too happinesses. She quickly ripped off the brace and jumped down from the table. “Oh thank you Doctor Magic I haven’t my leg hasn’t felt this good in ages!” She exclaimed as she did an energetic swing dance. “Here have $10,000 for all your kind work!” “No thank you misses Grandtanmantonopolis, I don’t do this for the money but so people can feel better.” Doctor magic said cheerfully. Doctor magic was known far and wide for her wonderful healing abilities that she offered to any one in need for no cost. The origins of her powers were unknown but she go them while on an expedition to the hidden temple of the god of death. Dr. Magic began to clean the room when all of a sudden she heard a shrill scream from the lobby. She ran out of the room to the lobby where she saw Miss Grandtanmantonopolis unresponsive on the ground. Dr. Magic flipped over her body and then saw the gruesome skull shaped wound on her forehead doctor magic checked for a pulse her face changed from inquisitive to melancholy quickly and she closed the elderly women’s eyes. Dr. magic saw Grandtanmantonopolis off and notified her family of her death. After the ordeal was done Dr. M grabbed a shovel and a rain coat and walked into the forest behind her practice. She found the remains of a burned down log cabin and walked towards the wooden cross that was in the center of the remains. It started raining and she began digging the grave until she hit an object with her shovel. She quickly whipped away the dirt from the top of the object and pulled out a bright red chest. She pulled out a dragon shaped key from the pocket of her lab coat and opened the chest. Two red eyes beamed from the inside of the box. “So you have returned even after what I did to your fiancé.” The obsidian skull said from the inside of the box. “WHY DID YOU KILL HER!!!!” Dr. M lamented. “Because I was jealous” the skull barked. “Why would you be jealous of an old woman!” DrG yelled now annoyed. “Why would you call Betty an old woman she was only 20.” The Skull said. “I’m not talking about Betty im talking about today Ms. Grandtanmantonopolis”. Dr. M yelled “I don’t even know who that is”. Yelled the skull. “Oh.....” Dr M fell to the ground and looked hopeless. “Who else would have killed her.” Dr M said. She thought about her day struggling through her thoughts “Eureka!” Dr. M exclaimed “lets go I know who did it!” 10 hours later at the big medicine skyscraper a man in a suit paced around his office talking to his speaker phone on his large wooden desk. “And thats why we need to make ambulance rides more expensive!” Everyone on the other end of the line began to clap. “Haha yes! And now that Dr. Magic is to depressed we can raise the price of all medical treatments!” Just then Dr. M holding the obsidian jumped out from behind the desk. “Why would you do this! Now I know I am a doctor but now I must use my powers of healing to unheal your life!” “Haha yes kill him my pupil” obsidian skull said menacingly. Dr. Magics hands began to glow red with lightning. The man in the suit backed up towards the giant window and put his hands ip to stop the blast. “Please dont I have a wife.” Dr. Magic’s eyes widened and she slightly put her hand down. “Haha the man yelled I dont have a wife as he did a spin and grabbed the claymore off the knigharmor next to him but it was to heavy and he swung it into the window behind him and fell out after the claymore. A womens voice on the phone began to speak “this looks bad we will continue this confrence next week but we will kill you Doctor Magic you cannot get in the way of are profits any longer.” Six beeps played as everyone excited the conference call. “Well good thing I didn’t kill him!” Dr.M said. Then her and obsidian skull laughed for ten minutes and got some pie.
-Fin
The year is 18,5XX AE, humanity has moved beyond the petty squalor of political debate and has transcended into the true art of quantum duck lottery’s. The rules are simple, every person who wishes to have a leading role selects a duck from a specific longitude, latitude, altitude, date, time, timeline, and ultra postion. If your duck is the first chosen by the society leading quantim A.I. that makes up Mars’ 4th moon, known as Hamtam, you control all major political decisions for the human race.
A group of teenagers stumble upon something they shouldn’t have... The staff of the demonlord trempoqulondonmon. It wasn’t long before they abused its power by creating 3 demonic items. First was the everlasting pasta bowl. If any man would attempt to eat it they would quickly find the task insurmountable. Secondly was the bag of infinite space. It can fit all items in the known universe but its wielders chance of pulling out the desired object is essentially nil. The third item is the staff of demonlord trempoqulondonmon for some reason.lt makes more demon objects. Regardless all these items surely will end the world.
-fin
She opened her eyes and looked at the ropes grasping her wrist. “freaking finally!” She struggled to say due to being gagged. Suddenly a large metal foor opens from the other side of what seems to be a small warehouse. “Velcome.... Courtney San Fransisco.” the large man in a black trench coat with a scar covered by eyepatches on both eyes. “Wow Barbra this is your worst plan yet, no one can stop me Courtney San Fransisco .” “Bleh you fool how are you supposed to escape you are all tied down.” Barbra the man said. “Because I’m a magician” she said as if she was gagged because she was but she can still talk fine. “Oh right then prove it.” Barbra shouted all annoyed like. A snare drum roll began as a curtain fell over Courtney from no where. There was a snare hit and the curtains pulled back and Courtneys hands and teeth were free. “haha Idiot told you”. “But thes es emposseble” Barbra said. Just then courtney began chanting in backwards Latin her eyes turned red and Barbra and her restraints became ash and flew away.
-fin
“Welcome everyone! Thanks for coming to My Birthday party! Please help yourself to some ale or some hors d'oeuvres...” the king said slowly enjoying the feel of the word as he said it slowly. “Um, thank you that it all!” The band quickly resumed there upbeat recoder and lute tune, simultaneously the crowd with there chatteing and clanging of dishes. The king began to eat a large roast turkey leg and talking and laughing to the people sitting next to him with food in his mouth. “Doooodoooo doodoo!” The pages trumpet sounded. “THE KNIGHTS HAVE RETURNED” he announced The king dropped his drumstick and began clapping and waving the head knight to come towards him.” The knight walked over in full armor and the king leaned towards the knights ear. “Do tell me good sir knight. Um... did you take care of our little warlock killing me today prophecy problemo.” The king said quickly. The knight held up a large decapitated orc head with his left hand. “Woooooooow! The king yelled toward the skies. “Hey everyone that wiley dog the warlock is freaking dead!!!” The crowd claps politely. The knight shifted nervously and gestured for the king to listen to his whisper. The King struggled to get down from the table. “This Warlock was actually a decoy the real warlock is actually...” the knight whispered. “What are you two talking about.” A small red headed old man wearing a clock blacker than the abyss covered in skulls whispered. The knight jumped backward looking scared. “AHHH chancelor you should hear this the good knight was just telling me how, the warlock they defeated was actually an Imposter Isn’t that ridiculous.” “Indeed that is quite an absurd account” the chancellor said while giving the knight an evil glance with his chin up.” “Welllll... well.... ummmm..” the knight lifts his face gaurd. His eyes are wide open as he stares at the king. He blinks his eyes slowly and shifts his eyes and body toward the chancellor who is in between them.” “Are you well sir knight you seem quite sickly that battle must have been quite traumatic.” The chancellor says putting the back of his palm to the knights forehead. “This reminds me it is time to take your immortality potion my leige” he says facing the king.” The chancellor walked slowly to the corner and opens a large skull shaped cabinet. A evil green puff of smoke comes out of the cabinet and the chancelor takes a vile of glowing green liquid and poors it into a champagne flute. He puts it on a silver tray and slowly walks back over to the king. The king grabs it. “King I really don’t think you should drink that I think the chancellor might be the real Warlock.” “Hahahaha” the king hardly chuckled. “Sir knight, you must have been bonked a little to hard on the noggin.” The king wipes away a tear. “This is obviously my daily Immortality pOtion silly. He quickly downs the vile of green liquid. “GLUGGLUGGLUG” “My apology, king” “My apology Chan-“ The knight looks over the kings shoulder and sees the chancelor holding a Wavy res dagger towards the back of the kings head. “Look out King !” The knight yells as he tackles the king out of the way of the chancellor and knocks down the kings table and the room goes silent. “What is your problem mr. knight! That is my present opening knife, I’ve had enough of this Malarky, if you embarrass me just one more time then you will have to go and leave the party.” “Surely sir I would never try to...” the knight started saying. “Eh eh eh.. promise me you won’t do it again.” The kings said calmly . “I want do it again.” Said the good knight “...Thank you” responded the king “Tis time for your cake sir” proclaimed the page. A large cake was rolled in on a cart lead by a human donkey hybrid beast. From the corner of his eye the knight could see that the chancellor was chanting in tongues and manifesting tongues of fire above the cake. The knight thought that this must have been part of the celebration and let it be. *BOOOM!!!! The chancellor burst into flame “WHATTTT” the Knight screeched in confusion. “Let me explain!” The king shouted! “I am not the true kingly heir to this kinglyLinly land you see. THAT, was the chancellor which Is why I covered him in Gasoline earlier
Mangerdenon was just a nice man except for one thing, he was a thief. He smoked against the back wall of the Washington Robotics lab building when suddenly the metal door next to him opened loudly and a guard came walking out and leaned next to him “Mind giving me a light” the gaurd said pointing his cigarette toward Mangerdenon. “Yeah no problem.” Mangerbendon pulled out his trusty bright blue bic lighter and lit the mans cigarette. “Thanks man”. Shortly after it began to poor down hard the guard quickly ran to the door, unlocked it, and held it open for Mangerdenon. “Thank you” Mangerdenon saId. The guard waved and walked the other way “. He walked to the elevator down the hall and went into the elevator. Mangerdenon. Lick on the button to go to the 50th floor, the top floor. When the door rang he got and quickly ran to a closet to his left he quickly opened it and slowly pulled out a large yellow four wheeled mop cart from the closet he filled it up with the liquid solution and tjen with water from a hose . Then he rolled the loud kart into the large office in the corner. He unlocked the door and saw that the CEO had left his wallet on the desk. Mangerdenon looked at the wallet and thought of his son. He quickly looked around, leaned the mop against a wall and carefully pulled out about 20 bills from the wallet. He quickly riffled through them and then picked one out from the group. He put the others bills back in the wallet and looked at the crisp $1.00 bill he had pulled out he quickly rushed it to his pocket and looked emberased. He picked up his mop again and continued to clean for the rest of the night.
“And then he dropped all the plasma on the patient!” Jesica Laughed. “What how did that even happen!” The person on the other line exclaimed. “Sorry I just got.... home ,sorry can you call me back in 20 minutes, I think HE is in my house.” Jesica says and hangs up Immediately as she unbuckles her seatbelt of her bright red Volkswagen Beetle and grabs her Gucci Revolver from her handbag on the passenger seat. She quickly gets out the car and keeping close to the wall of her house she slowly creeps towards the front door which is slightly ajar and she can hear that the tv is on. “BANG !”Jesica explodes the door open with a strong kick and points the gun in the house towards her couch. “Get on the Ground you dumb!” Jesica yells. There is a loud thud from off the couch. Laying on the ground was a tall bald green man with 3 antennas in a space suit covered in Cheetos dust. “Ah Jessica you have arrived! The Grape galaxy needs your help Once again we are in-“ “GET OUT MELOPOLIS I DON’T NEED YOUR BULL, LEAVE!” “But Jessica you must our child is in danger!” “I DON’T HAVE A CHILD LEAVE NOW!” “But Jessica your Grandmother-“ Jessica pushes Melopolis out on the street and locks the door. Melopolis looks back into the house and see’s Jessica angrily on the phone. She catches a glance at this and angrily shuts the curtains. Melopolis slumps and starts walking down the drive way, and down to the next house over. He knocks on the door. After waiting to minutes he pulls out his lock-picking robot which opens the doors. He starts sniffing and follows his nose towards the pantry where the delicious orange treat waits for him.
There was bo salt, there was no fish there was only the Leviathan. It was the year 2157 A.D. when the Westle Bottling company decided to buy the ocean. It was the only source of water large enough to support interstellar travel. Little did they know that the real exploration to be done was in the Oceans. The first signs came several years later after all the plastic was removed that is when the song began. It started low at first and was only detected by Westle company deep sea recycling company. By the time all the ocean garbage had been thrown into the sun the song was so loud that all humans had to be relocated to Mars. After that only robots lived on the earth, they were the only ones who could see the the leviathan. They didn’t care it wasn’t in there programing to, all they did was filter the salt that imprisioned it. The enderoni
