I feel like I’m in a blender Being mixed around and altered I know how I should feel but it’s different from how I do.

We’re lovers, me and you. I know that. I want to hold you close and love you, Tell you that you’re perfect.

When we argue I feel guilt I’m not supposed to hurt you I love you.

Other times I want to hit you You make me angry and sad Sometimes I just can’t stand you.

Your face Your voice The words you speak Your actions And your soul

It makes me want to scream. You make me feel wrong Is this how it is supposed to be?

I love you, I do But I really truly hate you. My lover, my enemy The one who trapped me in this blender..

Silence.

I see you on your phone, You see me with my book, No words are shared, But something is.

This silence, Though it surrounds us, It never suffocates us, Never takes up space.

Back to back, We do our own thing, But we do it together, Loneliness cannot set in.

Sometimes you show me videos, Sometimes I show you a funny line, But all the while this silence hangs, And all we can do is smile.

I’m glad to have you with me, Even though we say no words, But I can feel your love, Maybe you too can feel mine.

Silence. Comfortable silence. Just us. And this wonderful silence.

At times I know I can be careless, At times I don’t really think, And maybe I’m not perfect, And maybe nobody is.

Almost everything you do, Almost everything you say, Amazingly, it brings a smile to my face, And a weird joy to my day.

Actually, you aren’t perfect, Actually, nor am I, And can we be imperfect together? Just you and I?

At times I feel like I hate you, At times I feel like I love you, Even so please just know, That I actually really love you.

At times we can be careless, At times we don’t really think, And maybe we’re not perfect, And maybe nobody is.

Entry 15

B26F is doing well. She has violent tendencies but settles down when threatened with the mirror room. She has eaten one of my staff again and has been punished accordingly.

Entry 20

We’ve started teaching her to talk and she is doing well. B26F has been injected with Mispirium Elendosis, a new potion Doctor Elliots has come up with. It should make her grow wings and we will track the progress.

Entry 22

We are starting to see the wings form however it is clearly painful for B26F. She is getting better at speaking but she has started calling me dad. It is.. more than inconvenient. Doctor Elliots is constantly watching when we get witness the wings growing even if it is only a little bit

Entry 36

She escaped. We don’t know how but the she’s broken the glass and we can’t find her anywhere. I can hear faint screams and yells. I don’t know what to do.

Entry 38

Everyone’s almost dead. There’s at least 8 of us left and our food supplies are low. We aren’t going to make it. We can hear her stomping through the corridors and crawling through vents.

Entry 40

They’re all gone. I’m the only one left. She says ‘dad gets to live.’ Why? Why did she do this? I don’t know. It’s not like I didn’t experiment on her, I suppose I did it less.

Entry 63

I killed her. I had to. I can’t stay down in this lab for the rest of my life. Project B26F is being shut down for the safety of everyone in the world. The sun seems brighter than I remember. It is nice to be free and yet I cannot shake the guilt of taking the life of a living being. It feels completely wrong even in the name of survival. I think I shall quote being a scientist or whatever it is I am. I think I shall stay with my parents for a while. Yes. I like this idea. No more experimenting. No more.

We put the posters up everywhere.

Missing: Sarah Lee Have you seen this girl? If so please contact… blah blah blah.

You’ve seen them before. That was about 5 days ago and she’s still not back. At first I told mum that she’d just run off like teens do sometimes and maybe she’s staying at a friends house. We contacted every friend of hers we knew. Every. Single. One. None of them had seen her. She didn’t have a boyfriend, I knew that. She would’ve told me otherwise.

On the 3rd day the police searched our house for any clues. Mum was so paranoid I swear she could’ve exploded. They found nothing. Nothing.

On the 4th day mum started drinking more. I think she was more worried than anything else. I kept checking my phone and trying to text Sarah but there was never a reply. Until…

‘Who is this?’

I pause. She answered!

•it’s me, Libby. Your sister. Where are you?

‘Sister?’ ‘I don’t have a sister.’

•don’t joke. Mums worried sick. Sarah please come home.

‘I don’t know where home is.’ ‘I can’t remember who you are.’

•what? Okay, just describe where you are.

‘A forest. There’s a tree swing that I remember going on with a girl and I fell and broke my arm. She got me chocolate every day until I got better.’

•that was me! Libby. •I’m coming to get you.

‘Okay.’

I run downstairs to mum and tell her about the texts before sprinting out the door faster than ever before. I didn’t even know I could run this fast. I make it to the forest and run through it shouting Sarah’s name. I make it to the swing we put up with our dad years ago and she’s there swinging on it.

She turns to face me and she’s covered in scratches most likely from the trees. She recognises me, I can tell. I take her home and mum hugs her tightly while crying uncontrollably. I call an ambulance to check she’s okay.

Turns out she’s got dementia. I thought they were lying. She’s only 30, how could she possibly have dementia now? Me and mum visit as regularly as possible to make sure we don’t slip out of her memory again. I feel awful every time I see her like it’s my fault she can’t remember things properly anymore.

Sarah puts her hand on my cheek and smiles. “Thank you for being my big sister even if I sometimes forget you.”

The night you leave, Will be the night I smile, I won’t feel sad, Not even for a while.

When you left, We all were glad, ‘Good riddance!’ We sang, No one felt bad.

So I bid you farewell, Goodbye, Take care, May we not meet in the future.

Good riddance, Leave now, We’ll cheer and sing, And none will be sad.

Cold. Windy. Dark. Her hair blew around her as she stood in my doorway.

“H-Harriet..?”

Harriet Bond went missing 2 months ago. No one knew why but rumours spiralled in school. “I heard she ran away…” “She ran off with a boy from the village…” “I heard she was murdered…” “She just skiving. We know she’s a freak so she would do this sort of thing…” “Did you hear? She apparently killed herself…” “I think she got into an accident…” “At least we don’t have to deal with that stupid freak anymore…” Some girls were worried, others were glad, some made fun of it all, and the majority just didn’t care or didn’t know how to feel. I was worried. Despite all the things people said about her, Harriet was a close friend of mine. And now…

“H-Harriet..?”

She stood at my doorway. Her skin was pale, her eyes wide and scared. Her once beautiful silky back hair was now knotted and wild and.. bloody..? She had no shoes on and wore only a plain grey dress that was also drenched in blood. I could see cuts on her legs and arms, there was one scar that ran along her cheek.

“Harriet?” I tried asking again. She didn’t respond.

The rumours around school got worse. People started theorising she was kidnapped or… Some girls continued to laugh and joke. It made me sick. “Kidnapped? Hah! Don’t be daft who would take an ugly pig like her?” They would burst into fits of giggles. God it made me sick. Who would joke about things like this?

“Harriet?”

No response. Suddenly, she fell forward and I caught her. “Harriet?!” Crap! I held her close and grabbed my phone from the side. The blood from her cuts covered me. I felt like throwing up. As quickly as possible, I dialled 999. How did she even find my address? She’s only ever been to my house once or twice before so how the hell did she find me? “Harriet? Harriet, stay with me. Please. Crap!” A tear falls down my cheek.

“E-Eliz… a.. be.. th…” Harriet mumbled. Her voice was quiet, weak and croaky. It hurt to see her like this. “Harriet? Yes! It’s me! Stay awake for me okay?” Hope ran through my body. Harriet only managed a slow, small nod but it was enough. That was when the police came in, an ambulance waiting outside. It must have looked like I did it from the amount of her blood that was on my clothes.

It took ages for Harriet to recover. Turns out her arm was broken and her ankle was fractured. The police interrogated me and I told them everything honestly. Once Harriet was better she came home with me. She told me her parents kicked her out and.. a few other things I’d rather not mention. She got better and brighter and soon enough she was Harriet again. Her eyes became that bright blue I remember and her hair returned to its silky form. Her skin regained colour and most of her cuts healed while others stayed as permanent scars. Everyday I tell her how beautiful she is and that the scars only add to that beauty. I tell her she means the world to me and I won’t ever let anything happen to her.

Harriet smiles now. She’s happy again. I think deep down it still hurts her but she definitely feels safer and I’m glad.

The rumours stopped but some girls still whispered. I could tell it bothered Harriet. I tell her that their opinions don’t matter. They can talk all they like because they are insignificant compared to her. That always makes Harriet smile.

    Me and Harriet. Together again.

To my creator, the one person who was supposed to love me, what did I do wrong? I tried my best, I did all you asked and yet it was never enough. You tell me ‘it’s all your fault that pathetic man left!’ And ‘if you weren’t such a nuisance..’ I hate you. No, I despise you. I want you to suffer.

Yesterday, I did something.. I was angry and I’m mad at myself for it. I yelled at my best friend and called her annoying. Why? Why did I do that? Then it hit me.. and it stung. I am turning into my mother. I am turning into the monster I hate with a passion. I’ve apologised nearly 50 times now. I can’t believe I acted like her… the thing that I hate the most, I acted like it.

Genes. That’s usually the answer, right? I’m related to her so.. now I’m trying my hardest to not be anything like her. I watch my tone and what I say and my actions. I’m watching myself like a hawk.

I’m scared. I’m scared I’m going to push everyone away..

I don’t remember your face or your name or your favourite colour or your favourite film. I have no idea who you are, but I know I lost you. I lost something.

I don’t recall a single memory of you, But I know you were there. I remember that you made me smile And laugh I remember how warm you made me feel, cozy.

I can’t remember if we were lovers Or just friends Or perhaps sibling But I know you were relevant, I know I didn’t want to lose you.. But I did.

A dark cloud came, Swept you away. I can see myself crying And I can hear your voice calling my name But is it really your voice? Did you sounds like that?

I can’t remember how your house looks Or your room Even though I know I went there I went there all the time And I know you had a teddy you treasured But what was its name? What did it look like?

Who are you? What is your name? Why can’t I remember you? Were you more than a friend? What did we do together?

Do you still remember me?

The young maiden walked sullenly through the thick forest. She was both sad and happy. Her father had died but her step mother seemed really kind and caring. As the maiden walked further and further into the maze of trees she began to hear the shuffle of tiny feet. Panicked, she picked up the pace only to realise the owner of the footsteps did the same. “Who’s there?” She yelled. No response. No shuffling. Nothing. After a while the maiden continued, staying weary of the the mysterious footsteps. Then she heard it. The same shuffling feet from before but this time they sounded further ahead. Suddenly, a man with a ginger beard and bald head jumped out from behind a bush. The man was small and barely came up to the maidens waist. He wore a little brown pants, a little green top and what seemed to be a cardigan on top. “Oh my! Who are you strange man?” The maiden said, clearly startled.

“I be no one m’lady. But I also be someone. Ain’t matter nay how miss.” The little man said. “How can you be no one and someone at the same time?”

“Simple! Born a someone but be a no one! But it ain’t mattering still.”

“Why do you talk like that?”

“Ya ask a wee lot a question ya do. And I ain’t be knowing reason for me silly chit chat.” The man rolled his eyes, tired of the maidens questions. “Anyways I be a messenger today.” The maiden nodded to the little man signalling him to continue.

“The lady of the house,” he began, “she’s not who she says she is.” With that he rolled into a ball and sped away before the young maiden could say anything else.