I held my boy

My sweet baby brother

I had to promise him

That his Bea would not go

And I would not be stolen

It hurts

Because the one who stole me

Was myself

Every single time...

I was walking down the aisle

With a bouquet of yellow roses

When they started to wilt

The closer we got to the altar—

My feet started to tremble

And my knees wobbled.

I was sixteen again

And my insides were made of jelly.

The boy with the broken spirit

Begs me to love him.

And, foolishly, I’ve been an overwatered garden

And love flourishes in the deepest hollows of my being.

I poured him a tall...

shattered trust

broken heart

hurtful past

dreading doom

tired eyes

crying out

endless nights

painful rues...

I can’t believe it, how could she?

Bruises, cuts, all over me.

No apology, no sorry.

I try to forget, really try.

I try hard not to, but I cry.

I try to make my words flow now,

But my poetry is dead, left me.

I wept for my words, not my hurt,

I used to write my problems down,

Flowing, syllables, symmetry, simple,

Now my words are stuck, gone, missing.

I write things down, they rhyme for sure,

N...

He said trust me, I’ll keep you safe.

I’ll protect you and never let you go.

He promised and promised, so many broken promises.

He told me I was his one in a million, that I saved him.

But how could I have saved him when I was barely saving myself?

I trusted him, I trusted him with my life. To keep safe and warm at night.

He broke so many promises, cut me off from the people I cherished the ...

I built my life upon your lies

Trusting you hurts more

Then you'll realize

I loved you more than I loved life

I cared too much

I held you so high

I wanted to be like you

How to sing so beautiful

How to smile so brightly

Your laugh is beautiful

I didn't realize the shadow you cast

The songs you sang in the morning

Became a warning you were slipping

You stopped smiling a real sm...

the water is still and smooth in the pool

and the bee floats gracefully

wings waterlogged, pollen drifting away

but it breaks, ripples, splashes-

as children, laughing, jump in

and the bee is swept away, away

down the drain

and oh, the octopus holds a knife in each hand

but the cat scoffs,

you’re one short

but the cat is curious, too curious

and the octopus has done its job w...

The day I met you,

I thought I could trust you,

I could put my world in your hands,

And you wouldn’t change a thing about it,

Even if you really wanted to,

But I was very wrong about that.

Knowing you made me realize,

That you can’t trust anyone,

Not even the people you trust with your life,

Trusting someone takes a lot of time,

And when you ruin it,

It takes even more time to fix it,

And...

It’s funny you know

That you fucked up my life

And you won’t let me move on

Hissed in all my friends ears

Hissed how much of a bitch I was

Since obviously anyone who sets boundaries is sensitive

And being sensitive is being a bitch

So now its a new year

New kids I’m trying to make friends with

So why the fuck are you hissing in their ears too?

I gave up last year

You won

I restarted

But I can't

I ...

Trust is like a plastic cup

The more you play with it

The more damaged it gets

The less it can hold...