I thought I was being brave

But attention, I was quick to crave

The bullets you shot

I took the chance to have them caught

When you thought life,

Cut through you like a knife

Or at least that's what you said

Maybe that when you started your little tread

I just followed like I was in love

Maybe I was, or maybe I was drugged

Or maybe I was just plain dumb

Feeling so freaking numb

Whatever the cau...

Like a graceful butterfly,

You fluttered my poor heart,

You were stunning in every way,

I couldn’t just let you go.

I enjoyed your company,

Your presence left me stunned,

But you wished to be the dam,

That stopped the flow of my love.

Like a sandcastle near the shore,

You washed away my poor heart,

And left me to rebuild alone,

Yet I still want you with me.

I searched for you afar and wide,

On...

When your life ended,

My heart shattered,

I couldn’t accept it

Until my own blood was splattered.

While chasing your ghost,

I became one myself,

Going coast to coast,

Searching for a reason why.

Why, oh why

Did you have to die?

While chasing your ghost,

I became one myself,

Hunting down answers

To find the one who took you from me.

But in the end,

I dug too deep.

I spoke to the wrong people...

I so longed just to feel your warmth again.

Your presence makes me feel so zen.

I followed your trail for miles and miles.

But I only ended up with your fellow exiles.

I’ve refused to accept that you’ve just vanished.

Disappeared from this plane, utterly banished.

I swear my mind conjures up versions of you.

Walking the streets, I see you in my view.

Each step I took, I lost more of me.

Chasing a...

While chasing your ghost,

I became one myself.

Sitting by my window, knitting like a sailor’s wife,

Eyes glued to the horizon with the hope that your ship is the next to dock

But I know you washed upon Calypso’s shore

And can’t remember my name anymore.

I wandered the empty corridors of your subconscious

And saw a thousand closed doors.

I’m still haunted by you,

You injected me with your toxic ...

Dear Theo

I have to start this out by saying I love you. If you hate me for this, I wouldn't blame you, but I need you to know that I love you with every last piece of me. If nothing else, please believe that.

To this day, I still don't believe you left willingly or on your own accord. That doesn't change the fact that I'm the only one. I've been met with denial and pushback at every turn. While...

While chasing your ghost,

I became one myself

An empty skin of the person I was before

I loved you when we met

I loved you when you loved me

And I still loved you after you left

The tears that stained my cheeks at night

One.. two.. three..

counting the tears was like counting my mistakes

I supported you when no one else did

That beautiful bracelet we both wore

A representation that ou...

I loved you.

I loved all of you.

Every part.

Your smile.

Your voice.

Your hair.

You left.

You left me with only your ghost.

The ghost haunted me.

It made me cry.

All the memories of you and me.

Still, I chased your ghost.

Screamed for it not to leave.

But, while chasing your ghost,

I became one myself....

I used to treasure you

Now I hate you

Everything about you

All that you are

Everything that you were,

But look at me now

Now I miss myself

I hate the now me,

The me that you gutted

The me that you killed

The me that I used to love,

I thought you were out of my life,

But you just took me out of mine....

While chasing your ghost I became one myself

A shell of the person I once was

My once bright blue eyes turned gray

My blonde hair that once shined so bright now as dim as the flashlight I searched for you with

I chased down the you that I knew

But the you that I knew was simply as ghostly as I now was...