“I was gone for five minutes! What happened here?” I asked in disbelief, I couldn’t comprehend the scene that I just saw, my room was a mess. My kids gaze at each other, none of them respond to me. “You two lost the ability to talk?” I said frustrated by their inability to admit their mistake “well then, I’ll give you two some punishments, you are both grounded for a month!”. My punishment upset and undelighted them, they beg me for pardon, they claim that they didn’t did this on purpose. I am pleased by their actions but I’m not taking back my words. I organized and tidied my room, then I casually went asleep.

The next day, I see my kids miserably doing nothing, sadly I don’t care. My wife tried to persuade me to have mercy for the kids, but she underestimated my resolve. I had another typical work day, I shared this event to my coworkers, some agree with my point and some not. As I was about to get home, my mother gave me a call. She said after so many years has passed, she finally had the determination to apologize to me, she apologized for being so mean to me when I was young. Yet, I didn’t appreciate her words, I won’t forgive her.

When I get home, it was already late, I’ve been talking with my mother for too long. My kids were so depressed and bored, they just sit at the chair thinking about something. Just as I was going to criticize them, they glance at me with a threatening grin. I then somehow managed to realize that I am just acting like what my mother do when I was at my kids age. I immediately apologized to them and beg forgiveness. Fortunately, they didn’t mind too much, I send them to bed and then went to bed myself in terror

I was gone for Five minutes Or five years Why are you on the floor

With hearts shattered around you Mascara running down your face Laying in a fetal position Sobbing all night long

Why are you such a mess Im going to make you look your best I’ll clean up your broken hearts Till it feels brand new again

“I was gone for five minutes! What happened here?”

Well, I ripped his eyes out. I slit his throat open.

What’re you worried about? It didn’t hurt him anyways.

At least not as much as it hurt When he shattered my heart.

Broke me and painted me back again, like a piece of art.

I ate his organs like spaghetti too. Red sauce is running down my chin. Fingers are sticky like smeared honey.

Tastes coppery and gives me chills. Smells like iron, this could make a meal.

Aw, look at you.

So innocent and sweet. Look at you now, babe. Wrapped in a sheet.

Fuck with the wrong one, And see what you get.

I promise it won’t be roses, darlin’. Wilted and broken— just like me.

:)

“I WAS GONE FOR FIVE MINUTES! WHAT HAPPENED HERE?”

“I’M SORRY! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN AN ACCIDENT??? THE ENTIRE HOUSE IS DESTROYED!”

“I KNOW, BUT THERE WAS A SPIDER!”

“ARE YOU KIDDING ME! A SPIDER?”

“IT WAS HUUGE!”

“THAT IS NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON TO LIGHT THE HOUSE ON FIRE!”

“WELL I’M SORRY! I PANICKED AND COULDN’T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE!”

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?”

“YES!! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO DIDN’T BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAID I HAD ARACHNOPHOBIA!”

“I FIGURED YOU WERE JUST BEING DRAMATIC AND DIDN’T WANT TO KILL IT!”

“I LEGIT CAN’T KILL SPIDERS! I’M TOO FREAKING SCARED TO EVEN GET THAT CLOSE!”

“SO YOU LIT THE HOUSE ON FIRE??!”

“IT WAS COMING TO GET ME!!”

“WHAT THE FU-“

“THERE’S ANOTHER ONE!!!!!!”

“NOT THE BLOWTORCH!”

“AHHHHH, GET IT AWAY!”

“AHHHHH, I’M ON FIRE!”

“IT’S GONE! IT DISAPPEARED!”

“YOU PROBABLY BURNT THE MOTHERFU-“

“IT’S HEADING TOWARDS THE NEIGHBOR’S HOUSE!”

“NO! WAIT, AT LEAST CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!”

“DIE YOU NASTY LITTLE MONSTER!!! AHAHAH!”

“AHHHH!”

“AHHHH!”

“AHHHH!”

“I was gone for five minutes! What happened here?”.

I scanned the room, doubtfully that I could actually get an answer.

Almost all of the cushioned seats were on fire surround by at least an inch of water flooding the area. There was a hole in the wall and a hole in the ceiling, big enough to leave just the edges to justify calling them a wall and a ceiling still.

I stared down the two teens who looked at me just as confused.

“Uh…” Mara started speaking up, “we… don’t know”.

I couldn’t hold back the groan that has been building up since I opened the door. “You don’t… know?”

Marcus shrugged.

“GUYS! You are always asking why I don’t leave you two alone when you hang out with each other. While it’s not exactly what I was worried about, I feel this answers your question.” I started towards the kitchen where I could open the mail. Five minutes…. These kids are going to be the death of me.

What was weird, is that the kitchen was actually spotless. Going into my room and peeking into Mara’s, proved to be equally untouched. It was JUST the living room, aside from the water that could have just spread.

Going back into the living room, I find Marcus and Mara sitting on the couch with a discarded fire blanket. They were watching the news.

“An update on DudeBro’s battle with his infamous nemesis BroDude! They have finally left the urban area, taking this exciting brawl towards the surrounding suburbs!”

The news kept going as it flashed up pictures of various buildings that withstood damage. For a split second, I saw my building.

“God damn it!” I quickly find my phone and start dialing up the DudeBro support network. This better be covered by insurance.

“I leave you two alone for five minutes! What the hell happened?” “Vincent happened,” Gage said angrily. Vincent only laughed, which resulted in Gage kicking him. Vincent was lying on the ground with Gage’s foot holding his head down. Holding back his arm with his hands. I sighed, of course leaving these two behind was a bad idea. “I just wanted a hug,” Vincent said, still laughing. “A hug? A hug?! You grabbed me from behind and started GNAWING ON MY NECK! I’m not a BLOODY SNACK JACKASS!” “I beg to differ,” Vincent said giving Gage a rather shmexy smirk. Gage retracted his foot, ready to murder. “Wait, I understand that you’re angry, but violence isn’t the answ-!” Vincent was cut off.

   CRACK

“I was gone for five minutes! What happened here? And what the hell did I just witness?!”

“Me and the homies got bored.”

“I think you can figure out what happened”

“When you said you were hanging out with your friends, I did not think you meant a make out session.”

I was gone for five minutes! What happened here?

You know what it feels like when someone punches you square in the heart? Shocked, lost, head swirling, mind swimming…’why did I deserve that?’ You ask yourself over and over. Trying to figure it out, recounting every conversation, recognizing you stuffed your intuition when it was screaming ‘something isn’t right!!!’

‘Would they purposefully try to screw me? Nah!’ But oh yeah they did. ‘Why?, why?, why?’ repeats as the ache wells from the belly, up the esophagus punching the heart again and again.

I say to myself ‘it’s just money’. Intuition says ‘no it’s not, it’s the lie’

I feel frustrated and anxious about what’s happening. I feel manipulated and bullied. I want to stop helping them and help myself instead.

Did it really happen in 5 minutes? No, I just kept trusting that it wasn’t really happening.

“I was gone for five minutes what happened in here!” The mothers eyes widen after seeing her twin daughters covered in feathers, glue and even glitter. The first twin speaks up “we were playing and it sorta… kinda got out of hand” the second twin nods in agreement. “It’s arts and crafts how does it get out of hand?” The mom says scrubbing the floor violently. “We don’t know” the twins say at the say time. “Showers Now!”

“I was gone for five minutes! What happened here?”. Kelly says yelling in surprise. Kelly looks at her older brother Max with food all over him and sees food around and behind him. “Look, the little kids told me I was at sports and can’t play videos games good and told them their wrong, so I throw at them to challenge and-“. Kelly cut him off and says “You had a food fight!.” “Yeah” Max says in a nervous laugh. “But, there parents play pick them up, so there not here anymore.” Kelly sighs in disappointment and says “You need to clean, and bother asking me, your the one who did it.” Kelly was past him then turns around “Also your worst babysitter ever.” Kelly then walks to her while Max sighs in sadness.