An ocean of emotions are spilling from my chest.

By sunset my feelings will have drowned me.

Color’s shift from green to blue.

Dark waters ahead are unwavering.

Even my mind is dying softly with the rest of me.

Forgetful I am, but not right now, when I am filled by memory.

Gorgeous scents of salt and sea suffocate my brain.

Hollow from the world around me, I am my own thought’s detainee.

I am a prisoner to my mind that threatens to kill me.

Just let me go, I want to scream into my conciseness.

Killing, drowning, and dying are all I’ve ever done.

Living is not at all like death.

Maybe I was just born to drown.

Not just a victim- but I’m a murderer too.

Optical illusions fill my mind, blurring reality.

Please don’t let me die thoughts.

Quietly leave me be.

Roughly though, that’s what dying is- when your thoughts finally set you free...

So maybe I’m a victum and a murderer, defying myself and me.

The problem is my solution, my very destiny.

Unless I am mistaken, but I think I am quite sure.

Violently I promise, to stay far from ocean’s shore.

Willingly I jump into the crashing waves of my mind.

Xenial is the ocean, to finally let me be.

Yelling no more, I am more quiet than the trees.

Zany is what I’ve become when I let my ocean of thoughts finally drown me.

All while the people spent making their lists,

Baiting dear Santa to give them a wish,

Cookies and cookies, besides that, they don’t care what he’ll get.

“Don’t worry about Santa, he wants no gifts.”

Except maybe he does, just like all of us,

Failing to explain exactly what we want.

Get what you want, care less for the others.

How come it’s that way?

If you can say thank you, why don’t you?

Just wondering why Santa does so much,

Killing his time by preparing your gifts, yet you do nothing in return.

Lies he tells you, “I have elves.”

Maybe he just doesn’t want you to worry.

Nope, don’t feel bad now.

Out of sympathy? Don’t say thank you. It’s not real.

Please say thank you, and say it to feel.

Quiet the voices that tell you Christmas is a time for the greedy.

Really think about it, we all want gifts, so how come not all give them?

So tell me again.

To you, gifts are only made for you,

Underneath the tree they’re set.

Very cautiously waiting to be met by the person Santa gave it to.

Was it really Santa we were talking about?

XOXO,

      Yours, sincerely,
  
    Zain 🩵

Once upon a time there was a boy called Sam. He was just an ordinary boy who did ordinary boy things. One day Sam’s mum said he could take a walk through the forest all by himself. He was super duper happy and off he went. He was being an ordinary boy still walking through the forest whistling. That’s when he heard a noise. He stopped and then in front of his eyes came running a fox. Sam didn’t care so he just kept on doing what he was doing. And that’s when realised the fox was following him. He still walked on. Then out from the bushes came a squirrel and he ran past Sam. Sam still walked on and then realised the squirrel was following him too! He still walked on. Then out of the trees came flying a bird and it landed. Sam still walked on. Then he realised the bird was following him. He still walked on. He checked behind his shoulder again to see if any other animals were following him and to his surprise… There was the fox, the bird, the squirrel and a new addition. Actually loads of new additions, there was beetles, bees, snails, slugs, earwigs and lots of other insects. He turned back and he wanted to go home but instead he went to the shops. When he was on the street he checked behind his shoulder again to see if the animals were still there. They was even on the street. Sam felt embarrased that he was in public and there was a bunch of forest animals behind him. He got to the shop hoping for the shopkeeper to scare the animals off but the shopkeeper didn’t do that. He had to think of a plan fast and then he realised he could just scare them off himself. All along he couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought of that. He went back to the forest so no one would see him scare them off. And then he turned around and a mighty roar came out of his mouth. Every single animal in the forest went to there homes never to be seen again. In that case Sam went home and told his mum every single bit about his day.

(I'm convinced this prompt is the cure for writer's block) ~ TW: suicidal ideation ~

Ask me who I am; Berate me like my mother. Clear your throat and Dare to choke — a boy like any other.

Evade me if you must. Forget about the stars Gloating through the curtains when you Hide behind those bars.

I might call tomorrow, Jealousy soaked to the bone. Kudos to your sister, never leaving you alone.

Lonely little lemon boy, a shadow of a Man. Nicotine won't fix you Or convince you that it can.

Paracetamol won't kill you Quite as quickly as you'd hope. Release yourself; I'm Screaming, "Baby, drop the fucking rope."

Three times I cried to shooting stars as you Unzipped your wrists. Valour's dead in modern teens; We're caught up in our fists.

Xanax downed for dinner— You're forever stuck inside. Zip me up; I'll take you to the place where heaven died.

A speck of life sits between us.

Before we choose what to pick for it, we must decide.

Choose which reality to hand it over to.

Demise and Death?

Ecstasy and Elightment?

Four choices, and more, that bring out the outcome of the human race

Getting into life isn’t so straightforward anyway.

Hell, I don’t know why we even try.

“I know,” you say, “but I don’t know how you’d feel.”

Just tell me.

“Kind words lift up a human; they like being thought of.”

Looking away from the speck of light, I groan.

My, my, how boring.

Nobody even knows that this part of living exists.

Oh, how bliss ignorance sounds to me; past, present, future all erased from my mind.

Perhaps, I respond, but really, we are killing them by doing this.

Question walks upon your face. “What do you mean?”

Right there, I point at a space in the time, a human who we granted fame and riches is killing themselves with a gun in their bedroom.

“So,” you say unfazed, “that’s not all the humans, I mean look at her.”

Turning my head to the time strand you’re pointing at, I see a human helping the less fortunate.

Um, I tap my lip, then smile. They’ll die by the same people smashing their head with the exact cane they supplied them with. Humans are such greedy creatures.

Vice is such a common characteristic of humanity. Even those who think themselves superior to the rest.

“Why must you think this way?” You groan. “Not all human beings act the way that you are describing.”

Xylograph exists, so maybe you’re right.

You shake your head. “You’re thinking of the wrong thing. It’s not what just they do; it’s how they act. It’s better than how you see them.

Zero morals, I say, that is all they have. They better be glad that I can’t mess around in their realm.

——

(This was something else. Rarely do I have to go researching for a word. It doesn’t make sense towards the end, sorry. Also go search up xylograph yourself. Thanks for reading!)

Ambition never took me far,

But my love for you did.

Chasing feelings I may not have forever,

Dreaming nightly of your kiss.

Every day spent in your presence

Falling oh so hard for your bright smile.

Grab my wrist and lead me away,

Hand in mine, i'll stay awhile.

I can't help but gaze into your eyes

Just watching as they gleam.

Kindling the warm flame in my heart, i feel

Like a lovesick teen.

My heart threatens to beat out my chest

No silencing the sounds

Oh, just a single glance my way

Puts my head up in the clouds

Quench my thirst, for you I crave

Reaching my hand out to yours

Soulmates; a term I never thought true

Then I met you, now i'm sure

Under the deep expanse of sky;

Vast and endless sight.

When I sit beside you under the stars I smile.

XOXO, goodnight.

You hold my very being captive and yet,

Zero piece of me wants to leave.

As I walk through the show, Below is a night club. Coming here is my safe space, Desire to order an Italian sub.

Everything is exactly where it needs to be, Friday night, Saturday morning. Going with my best friends, Having a great time, not boring.

In the club, I’m dancing with the DJ, Jumping around Killing this sick beat, Loving the surround sound

My hips don’t lie, Nothing is making sense, Only EVERYONE and EVERYTHING is spinning! Probably because I’m drunk, the cops might have an arrest.

Quite likely, I’ll run a red light, Rear end someone’s car. Stay with me, The whole way into dark.

Under my looks, I’m very, very drunk. Very tired, very hungry. While I fall going up the stairs X-marks the spot of the fall, just like Humpty Dumpty.

Yes! I made it to my house! Zero, Zilch words from my newly spouse.

(Can you guess the three song lyrics?!)

A long time ago, I saw a boy laugh. Barely able to breathe type laughter. Clearly he had no care in the world. “Dangerous,” I thought, to show that much emotion around the others. Everyone knows that he had shown his hand. Frankly, I acted repulsed, but deep down I was jealous of his freedom.

Growing up in the same neighborhood, he reached his hand out to mine and dared to smile. Hands interlocked, we ran down to the riverside. I learned how to catch a fish with my bare hands. Just us two was how we spent every afternoon that summer.

Knowing that boy from years ago, makes this new reality worse. Lips that once smiled freely, don’t dare to move at all. Mainly his eyes are cast down, and his hands are shoved in his pockets. Nothing draws the eye to my friend who used to shine brightly. Only memories exist as a storage for our friendship. Perhaps he’ll meet me by the river once again, when he unchains his burdened heart.

Quietly I wipe the tears from my eyes after extending him my hand. Rejection tastes bitter and coats my insides generously. Something bad must have happened because how could one I loved so dearly treat me so cruelly? Though I will never give up on him, he has already attempted to sever our tie which is rooted deep within my soul. Understanding has never been my strong suit, but for him I will learn.

Various times throughout my week I gaze upon him from afar. When I see him, I hurt all over again because a glimpse of the boy exists in his face when no one else is looking. X-ray vision is not even needed to see that he has been broken. Zealous loyalty for the boy I once knew urges me onward to smile his way and reach out my hand once more.

Andante, little sprout Beware the wish to win the race Can you wait but a little longer? Don’t rush, darling, even if Every bone in you screams RUN Forget what they told you about fast Going the distance requires consistency, Half the battle is a steady pace. Ignition throttles you forward, Just wait a moment, dear, Kindly reduce your speed, Let your feet develop a rhythm, andante, Mind the path, cast off your fear No need to compare yourself to others, Of course, you might stumble, Perhaps you might fall, but just as Quickly get up! Do not Ruminate, love, on your Shortcomings— everyone has them, Teeming, our flaws sprawl inside Us like so many weeds. Voracious we are to Whittle them away, to create a perfect Xanadu where nothing slows us down. Yet we must continue, andante, Zeroing in on the finish line. Keep going, Andante, Andante, Andante.

A stare into a soul But she never looks twice Cuz I’m not meant for her Dare me to see her again and not fall

Eventually time will go on Fuck all the apologies Given to me Hate everyone I ignore

I will give it to you Just because I’m Killing the love I have for you Like a fly trap

Maybe we could’ve loved each other but No you couldn’t love anyone but yourself Oh, I’ve fallen again Put my heart down

Quit falling in love with strangers Right after falling out of love Sight to see, me a love slut Thank you for helping me fall and being caught

Understand I will feel happy till I crush Vienna, Austria , walking with you Wearing your shirt all night

Xylophone playing in the back of the cab Yarn turned into our sweaters Zero hate for you

——- I kinda gave up at the end Did French hw all night (je ne suis pas calme)