I woke up to the slight smell of smoke. “I probably nothing,” I thought “the neighbors are probably making barbecue or something.” I was only half awake and for some reason the neighbors making barbecue at eleven at night made sense. I turned over and fell into a deep slumber. I awoke again to the sound of loud crackling from outside of my room. I got out of bed wondering what could be making the noise. I walked around thinking in a dazed state for about ten minutes till reality hit me like a semi truck. “Fire!” I panicked and ran towards my door. I tried to open it but as soon as I touched the handle I withdrew my hand in pain. The fire must have been outside my door. I look d around for another way out, sweating from both fear and the heat of the growing fire. I unlocked my window and pulled on it as hard as I could but it wouldn’t budge. Tears streamed down my face as I realized that there were no other exits. I screamed as loud as I could desperately hoping that my neighbors could hear me but I knew it was know use. The fire alarms blared in my ears futther reassuring me that I was going to burn to death and get cooked like a thanksgiving turkey. “At least the devil will get a nice home cooked meal.” The fire got louder and louder, hotter and hotter till I felt like I was in an oven. I must have been surrounded on all the interior walls. “My phone!” I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought to call 911, the smoke must have gotten to my head. I looked in my drawer and then my counter and felt all of my new found hope drain from my body like the fire had burned it down. I looked out my window and saw that a fire truck. One of my neighbors must have called the fire department. I was so relieved I couldn’t put it into words. “ I’m saved.” I sobbed loudly. I could hear the muffled voices of the fire fighters. I needed them to find me so I screamed as loud as I had ever screamed in my entire life. They seemed to have heard it because the start moving towards my door. I sat and waited for what seemed like forever till I heard a knock on the door and a voice that could only be one person… my father! “Oh no oh no oh no.” I had stopped contacting him three years ago after a huge fight, I didn’t even think he knew where my house was. “Is anyone in hear?” He repeated after I didn’t respond to the first time. I considered not answering at all in fear of seeing my dad but finally I came to my senses and answered. “Yes.” He kicked down the door and the look on his face told me that he recognized me too. We just stared at each other in shock. He then picked me up and started running out of the room. The fire burned my skin as we cut through it. I tried my hardest not to cry in front of him but the pain was over bearing almost as over bearing as the silence. I finally couldn’t take it anymore “thank you so much.” He didn’t reply, just a glance and a smile. I saw a tear silently slide down his smoke covered face leaving a steak of tan skin behind. We got to the kitchen and saw that the wall was entirely blocked off by debris and flames. I looked at him and he looked back down at me, more tears trickling from his eyes. “I love you dad, I’m so sorry.” “It’s ok.” We looked at each other one last time. He dived over the ruins, me in his arms and managed to get me right in front of the door. I glanced back to see him but all I could see was fire. He was gone. Forever. He sacrificed his life to save mine… after all I did.

Watching my hands shaking as if it was winter, freezes my vision. Each day death scenes cross my mind. And i remember… that wasn’t my line. I wake up with flooded eyes. I walk on my floor and randonly fall back. i can’t seem to stand back up. When my friend stella invites me to get coffee, she asks where my hopeful smile went. And i… just want to die.

it seems like i’m telling part two of my story. But everyone else says, “it’s barely starting.” come on, i’m a 21 year old who has experienced unrealistic things. And you’re telling me it’s the beginning? those people don’t even know my real identity. they know how i look, but not who i am. I commited crimes i wasn’t aware of until now. my purpose was freedom, but i changed my role. the lines i would say, the looks i would give, the laughs i would overreact. the physical movements i made. The love i felt and didn’t care. 

And he, he created all my safe and happy moments. Each day an “I love you”, each night an “i’ll miss you.” I loved him but realized too late. i just felt a sort of a, “stop feeling that.” it was weird and i hated him with my whole heart. So much that it turned Into love. Whenever we weren’t together, I talked behind his back. Oh wait, in front of his face as well. that day he planned to take me to hawaii, and I ruined it for him. his whole life. Not knowing i was gonna ruin mine. It was a Friday around 7:00.  got ready to go out with him. 

When we got in the car, he smiled. his eyes were full of his amazing spark. “hi bobo (fool) i said smiiling at him while getting inside the car. Andrew laughed and responded, hi bubushci. (random phrase he invented.) “stop calling me that, i have a name.” i gently pushed him with my fist, turned around and put my seatbelt on. ok ok “PRI-CI-LA, I have a surprise for you”. Of course I was happy. really? what is it, a ring?? i got close to his face and laughed again. “Show me, what is it??” He reached into his pocket and looked back at me with his hand still in there. "don’t cheat, don’t look.” he slowly looked back down giving me a side eye. “OMG andrewwww!! hurry up, you take so long.” i kicked him even though i was in my seat. "awwwouuu” andrew started patting his arm as if he was acually in pain. well, i did kick him hard.

"your such a fool, cry baby. always acting like a gentle flower.” he gave me a look." “ok fine, here this is what i wanted to show you.” i snatched the mini ractangle papers out of his hand. "whaaat!! no way andrew!!

“We’re going to Hawaii!!”  he said forgeting about the pain in his arm or anything else. “Whaaaat!! You bought these?” I was excited at the moment, smiling. not of what he did, but because of the fact i was going to visit Hawaii. “Well, actually” he said, “it was a prize I won for two people. i didn’t pay a single dollar” He looked at me very happy, feeling proud like saying, it turned out way better. And now that I think about it, of course it was. But regardless, That’s when my smile faded away. Even though I wasn’t excited because it was a gesture from him, I still thought, “wait, so he didn’t think about taking me, he just had no choice.”

“wow, so you just want me to go because according to you it’s not an option?

stop making it look exciting and just admit you do everything for compromise! this is why you’re useless. You don’t know how to do anything! you’re fake Andrew!! FAKE!!

I grabbed the two tickets and with anger ripped them into pieces. then i threw them to his face and said, “USELESS” i got out of the car and yelled, “play your little manipulative games with your dog.” i saw his eyes were full of water and his lips started to shake. He was so shocked that i even stood there to see what he would say next, but all he did was stare right at my eyes and said, “p-priclia, i just wanted to give you a nice trip since i found the opportunity to take you out somewhere better.” “shut. up. you don’t even try to find a better job than that nasty construction thing you do.” i turned around and started speed walking back into my house. "Pricila!!”

that night, i expected a messege from him. Everytime we got in a fight, he would send me a long paragraph telling me how much he was sorry if he unintentionally hurt my feelings. He would send gifts to my adress, and songs to my number. But not a single ding i herad. i couldnt sleep. I was thinking so many things. I knew i was the manipulatiuve one and not him. for the first time i felt bad for him so tears ran down my cheeks into the blankets. "why would i hurt someonw like him that way.” But my ego was to high that i cleaned my tears and tried to sleep. But i couldn’t. The image of his eyes looking at mine were taking over me. i started thinking what my life would be without him. and i couldn’t believe i started to notice how much i loved him.

"I hate him” i said The next morning when i was making breakfast. then the first ding of the day decided to appear. his mom was calling me. I ignored the call and kept making my coffee. She called me and called me and called me. In the fifth call, i had to answer. “Hello, is everything okay?” instantly my body tunrned into a flooded city. my heart started beating too fast my soul got tired and i was too dizy to even hear the next sentences she was saying. “IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!! THIS IS WHY I HATE YOU!. YOU FRICKING MANIPULATIVE WOMAN!” Andrew’s mom was screaming into the phone trying not to cry. i hung up and pressed on my chest with my hand. while running to get my car keys, i started crying like never before. like a little kid when they don’t get what they want. 

“i’m sorry andrew, i’m so so sorry!” i was shaking trying to open up my car door. They keys fell and i screamed, “ahhhhhhh whyyy!!” i finally got in the car and in an instant was already driving three blocks away from my house. "HOW DID THAT HAPPEN ANDREW!! WHYYYY!!” The next part, i do not know. I woke up three months ago from a two year coma. Apparently i didn’t make the stop, and a truck crashed me. i Just remeber my last last words were, “I DO LOVE YOU!! i hit the steering wheel with both my hands and accidentaly beeped. i made a pause, stopped crying for a second and whispered saying, “I was just joking.”

after knowing the whole story, i can’t seem to get over it. It was all me. the toxic manipulative annoying girlfriend. And i’ll say i wasn’t actually like that. But sometimes we take advantage of the best people. The nicest, the ones who most love us. I always thought he agreed with everything. And he did. But i also thought i was gonna make him my way. ok, i did. it’s just that he was so confused, the relationship turned into a tragic story. that day i was out of breath i didn’t even notice the truck coming towards me. when i woke up they told me that if i handn’t beeped, i would be dead. The truck heard the beep and tried to step on the brake. Unfortunately it hit me, but not as hard as it was going to do so.

His sister told me everything. She cried with hate in her eyes towards me.  And i will say what exactly happened.

After i left back into my house, he stayed in the car, crying nonstop for 20 minutes. He decided that what i was doing was too much. I had reached the limit. The tickets he got as a prize for us was actually planed. In the first place, he would only take me out to food trucks , the park, ice-cream places, or to each others houses. His job wasn’t very professional because he was still in college and also his family didn’t really have money.  I was 19 in college and he was 20 years old. my family is wealthier than his but i never took him out because my dumb self always said boys should be the ones taking girls out, and buying everything for us. Even though he didn’t have much money, he would always try to make me happy by buying me gifts. And many times i wouldn’t like them and just give them back or throw them away. I would always ask for favors. The last favor he did for me was sacrifice. 

It turns out that months earlier, Andrew had seen an oportunity to win free travel tickets. All he had to do was sign up and try out for what they asked him to do. The sign he read was at a fair and it said, “Sign up now before April 18, and meet us here on April 27 to win free tickets to your favorite place!” Andrew oviously did what he was told as always. When he got there that day, there were a few other people also waiting for instructions. When they called Andrew’s name up, they sort of interviewed him and made him sign a paper that said he would do everthing they told him to. In order to win the tickets, he had to complete the tasks they gave him. The more tickets he wanted, the more complicated the tasks were. According to Andrew he thought about not entering because the game looked kind of suspicious. 

This seems like a regular tragic story, but it gets more into the exagerating movie part. The players recieved a challenge once a week and had to turn in the evidence each time they went.  Andrew’s first task was to kill a spider and bring it in. Then it was more like, cut a piece of your brother’s hair. Until it became more of a record yourself yelling at the cashier in the store. Of cource it was something dumb for andrew to do. But my dream since i was a girl was always to go to hawaii. He would always tell me that the first person i was gonna go with was him. And that he was gonna take me. So from this, we know the place Andrew chose was hawaii. The last task they gave him was almost impossible to complete. Andrew had gotten into a group of people who did some illegal stuff. 

Andrew decided to quit the game by not completing the last task they gave him. The next week, he didn’t show up to the weekly meeting. And since he had signed that paper that said, “i will complete every asigned task no matter what”, they couldn’t let him leave without giving them what they wanted. It turns out that they got his information and started spying on him. 5 days before that friday night, two of those people went to where he was working at and followed him towards the back were no one went except to check if the cables were right or something.

 Andrew got scared when he saw them right behind him and said, “hey, um, why are you guys here?” the two guys responded, “look, you signed a contract, you keep the promise.” Andrew started stepping back and he tried to walk away. "hey!! come back here, or else we’ll kill your girlfriend.” Andrew stopped walking and turned around. "how do you guys know i have a girlfriend?” the two guys looked at each other. One of them got his  pocket knife out, slowly stepped forward and said, “ha, you really don’t have a clue of where you put yourself in.” "hey, put that away please, i don’t want to make this a problem.”

“If you don’t want this to end bad, give us what we asked for. i want everything in two days. If not, we’ll see what to do with what you love.” Andrew was so shocked and scared, but was brave enough to say, “you know i can just call the police,  give them the number, place where you work, and your names right?” The guys started laughing hard, “ahhahahaha, try it.” they two guys turned around and left. Andrew quiclky locked himself in the bathroom and called the cops. The information he gave them, according to the cops, it was wrong. The number was a food truck company. The place never existed and no buisness could be made there. They couldn’t find other people who also joined the group. Andrew had to do what they told him to, but he couldn’t. He actually never did it. When Andew tried going to the page were he signed up, it was never there.

“how am i gonna pay them? i don’t even know where they live or how to get to them.” The next day, he recieved a message that said, “meet us tomorrow at 9:00pm at lawnmake park.”  So Andrew screenshoted the message and once again showed the police. They said that wasn’t any proof. Andrew responded saying, “you’ll see if your there at 9:00pm tomorrow.” He made an agreement both with the guys and the police and the next day he arrived to where he was told. They guys appeared, and he saw they had a gun in his pocket. Andrew decided not to panic and handed them the suitcase, also showing them the video on how he stole it, and how he mocked the school in public. 

The police were actually there hidden. “ok, here are your tickets. You see it wasn’t that hard?” they threw the tickets at him and left. That’s when the police turned their lights on and started following the two guys. It was all planned out. The police helped him pretend he had done all those stuff to see if he was lying or not. Andrew was happy because he had the tickets. He forgot about everything because he knew he did it for his girlfriend. Three days later is when he decided to tell me. When i ripped the tickets was when he decided i had reached the limit. He called his siter that same night and told her everything. "i wan to break up with her emma.” “OMG Andrew!!! how did i not know about this, you’ve been doing this for 4 months!?. Your oviously too dumb by not noticing how she was treating you before.” Apparently, Andrew went home that day and decided not to text me anymore.

The next morning, Andrew got up at 4:30am to go to work as always. Feeling broken and tired. At 5:30 he left for work, and never went back home.  Andrew’s mom recieved a call at around 9:30am saying that Andrew had been beaten, stabbed, and sadly shot. The thing is, the people who called his mom, where the same people who killed my boyfriend.	She asked them why they had done what they did. And they responded. “i’ll say this to sumarize everything. your son told the cops on my friends, we told him to join us and he wouldn’t die this day or anytime soon. but with one condition. He would have to prank his girlfriend and bring her to us. what were we gonna do to her?  probably the same thing we did to him, except it would take longer and no one will know he brought her to us. That way, we would get the money your son didn’t want to pay, through his girlfriend. plus, we chose his girlfriend over anyone, because your son decided to work for us just to take his girlfriend on a dumb trip. His mom of cource was crying and screaming, knowing that her son sacrificed his life to save mine. And she cried with extra anger because he took that decision, after all i did.

She was brave enough to stop crying for a second and ask, “answer, what did my son respond to your options?! ah, what did my boy answerrr!!” they stayed silent for one second and said, “ok, your son…

well he smiled at us and confidently responded, “I have never, and will never, betray the person i most love. No matter how rude she can get, or how many times she has hurt me. i still love her with all my heart, soul, mind, and body. I would do anything for her. I meant it when I said it. Let’s see if after this, she understands what she feels as well. But, please call my mother before anyone else and tell her to let Pricila, my bubushci know, i’ve been breathing thanks to her.”

Andrew’s mom just instantly hung up and couldn’t stop screaming, yelling his name over and over. Thinking that it was all my fault. That’s when she decide to call me.

And she was right. He sacrificed his life to save mine…after all i did.

And I would do anything to sacrifice mine so he can come back to life.

Of all the people in this town, it just had to be Alex she bumped into, spilling her coffee, the first cup of the day. Umm, ugh, err, excuse me! She finally exclaimed. Those big brown eyes, and that smile was enough to send her back her youth. High school, most importantly, Senior Prom they were Crowned King and Queen, everyone thought they’d spend their lives together. Little did they know life, or fate had other plans for the couple. Hello…..Sara? Yes, sorry about the coffee I hope your weren’t scalded, Sara asks. No, it just got my boots and they wont melt. The humor, he always knew how to make her laugh. I’ve got a meeting that starts In few minutes, but it was nice to see you. I haven’t seen many familiar faces since arriving back in town. I hope we see each other again, without coffee on the boots.

Sara, was unaware that Alex was back in, Evansville. Since he left for the military 8 years ago she hadn’t seen him, in person that is. She had spied, a few times, by checking his social media accounts. Oh, and his mothers. She posted more than Alex, and always gave updates of his deployments and where he was stationed. However, she must have missed the one that stated he was coming home. Sara, finally makes it to the station wondering why she thought walking the few blocks was better than driving. Her new black Charger was in the shop, having the, very hard to see, lights installed. She’d been promoted to detective, only a few years before. Her partner Dale, recently retired, had taught her so much a mentor she could always rely on. Today, she is supposed to meet her new partner, a transfer from the military police. She hoped he wasn’t uptight and grumpy or too lax and not by the book. Either, would make her miss Dale even more.

Sara, Good Morning, Jack, her lieutenant calls as she enters the station. It’s not a large Department by any means and their station was small. They had outgrown it years ago. They made do, sharing offices with other officers and animal control. When she gets closer to Jacks, closet sized office, she hears a familiar voice then sees a familiar face. Alex, is her new partner! What? This can’t be happening. Sara and Alex shake hands as Jack explains that he is from there and has been gone for several years. That he is an excellent detective with 93% of his cases closed, rather quickly. Sara, informs them both that this isn’t the military and they work big crimes. Murder, Robbery, and Sexual Assaults. Not someone mistakingly entering a base or a soldier going awol. Jack, pats Alex on the back and says, “Boy you got your hands full with this one! She calls it as she sees it and she has a high success rate solving casss as well!” I think we will get along just fine lieutenant! Jack exclaims, as he grabs some case files, he’d been looking through while waiting on Sara.

Sara’s phone rings just as she reaches her, well their, desk. It’s the shop letting her know her new car is ready and equipped. As her and Alex wall to the shop she explains some cases and keeps it professional with no mention of their past. This puzzles Alex, as he isn’t sure if he should bring it up or let the past stay, the past. Sara, also explains fhat the car is hers and she drives. She can pick him up or meet at the station, either way she doesn’t mind, but the car is hers.

It’s dark by the time Sara makes it home. Her fiancé, is in the shower so she takes their Cocker Spaniel, Ridley out for a walk. Thinking about Alex and the chances of him being her new partner. She is relieved that she never told her fiancé, Mandy about their past and how she broke his heart. No, that’s in the past and it will stay, “what do you think, Ridley!” Ridley, wags her tail and agrees. Mainly, because she wants a treat. “Hey gorgeous!” Mandy, is out of the shower and greets Sara with a sweet compliment and a kiss. The two meet their Freshman year of college. Sara never dated women and most thought it was her finding herself. Which is partly true, except they haven’t been apart for more than a few days since. Sara, proposed to Mandy, on top of their favorite Mountain peak. They plan on being married there, Hiking to the top in their white dresses, they’ve purchased. However, they’ve yet to set a date. Mandy, is working on her doctorate and money has been tight. They’ve both made sacrifices, as they know once her doctorate is complete her earnings will be well worth the sacrifice and Sara wants to make all of her dreams come true.

The next morning Sara and Alex, get an early morning call 5AM, early. There has been another shooting in the next town over, a police officer is down. This time the shooter leaves a note. As soon as they arrive on scene Sara carefully, with gloves, reads the note before placing it in an evidence bag. “ANOTHER COP WILL DIE I PLAIN ON KILLING 3 TOTAL, AND ONE WILL BE FEMALE.” Sara, looks at Alex, as he scans the note. “How many female officers work in this area, Sara!” Idk, 2-3 counting me. Alex, wants Sara to let him work this case, and for her to lie low and stay hidden until the suspect is caught. Maybe go out of town and take a vacation. Inside, Sara laughs, vacation? I can barely pay our rent and keep us fed. However, Sara informs Alex that she isn’t going anywhere and will catch this person, who ever they may be. 2 officers so far, both male, so the next will be female. This is the first note left, she asks an officer that has worked both scenes. He shakes his head, confirming one note. How strange that he only left a note here, today. It’s like he is letting us know that a female will be next.

After the Captain, chief, and chaplain have informed the officers family Sara and Alex visit to question the wife. She informed them of a few hang up calls and someone knocking on the door. Their fourteen year old daughter was home alone when the knock happened. She didn’t open the door, but from the outside he asked for a glass of water. She quickly called her dad and he told her how proud he was of her, for not opening up the door. They needed to talk to the daughter and see if she could give them a description of the man. All she could see was his shadow and how tall he was. 6 foot, at least she thought with a deep raspy scary voice. Not much to go on but they wondered if the other deceased officer had received calls or a visit.

The two detectives knock on the door of another grieving widow. Hoping to gather more information and vowing to solve the cases, which are connected. The widow again had some calls but once he said, hello. In a deep raspy voice. She said it was like he had been a smoker. When she asked who he was he quickly hung up. The number was untraceable just as it had been for the other officers family. She never received a visitor but had noticed a strange man. He was driving an older sedan, light green, and sat across the street for several minutes a couple of different times. She mentioned it to her husband but he thought maybe they had been visiting the neighbor.

This doesn’t make since, why would someone want to kill these officers. Had they, and a female officer, arrested someone and now they were out for revenge? Do they just hate and disrespect the police and what they stand for? Two questions that they needed answers for and it wouldn’t be long before they got their answer. On Sara’s way home she gives Mandy a call to see what kind of take out is in order for tonight’s meal. Mandy had grabbed Chinese for them both, so she didn’t have to stop. Sara, thanked her and almost said I’d rather not stop until we find the perp that’s out killing cops. She stopped herself, thankfully. Mandy, worries enough about her job and this would only make it worse. Besides, she has an important research project due soon and she doesn’t want to distract her.

As Sara nears her neighborhood, she sees an older sedan. The motor is clearly running based on the smoke coming out of the tail pipe, but the lights are off. She slows enough to get the tag, and calls dispatch. The tag comes back to a man by the name of Lewis Sparks, continues dispatch, but Sara isn’t hearing them. Lewis Sparks, is the man she arrested for touching a child. This was his 3rd arrest, but he only managed to pull 6 years in prison. He was not after just any female, he was after her. She calls Alex and tells him to get ready she knows who the cop killer is. Then she informs Mandy that she will be late, she had something come up regarding a case. Alex, is ready and hops in, just as she pulls up. She informs him of the case, avoiding some details. He lives in his mothers basement and is heavily armed, so they must come up with a plan. They drive through Sara’s neighborhood but he is gone, no longer sitting and watching her driveway.

As the pull up to Sparks home they can see his light green sedan parked in the driveway. Still running and the lights are still on. Alex calls for swat to come apprehend the suspect. They know how dangerous he is and want to protect the public and his mother. Before, Alex can hang up the phone, there is a gunshot. He it hits the alley light on Sara’s new Charger. Alex, tells Sara to get down. He has spotted the suspect hiding behind his car door. He grabs his weapon and fires back at Sparks. Sara, climbs over to the passenger seat and exits. Making her way to the back of her car. Alex, asks for cover and runs for a large oak tree. Two more shots are fired, but both miss the duo. Alex and Sara return fire, hearing a groan they know the suspect is hit. They call for him to surrender and drop his weapon but they only hear silence. Alex, asks for cover as he is makes his way to the suspect. Sara, begs Alex to wait on back-up. He doesn’t wait, but edges closer. She hears a gunshot and calls out for Alex. There is no response, so she keeps trying! “Alex, Alex, please answer me!” Finally, blue lights approach and its back up. Her radio, keys up and she hears, “officer down, code 1, officer down. Send medics quick, not pulse, starting CPR!” She runs over to the officer and finds Alex down. “Omg no, Alex!” She screams! Through the blur of her tears she sees an EMT cover up the body of Sparks, he is dead. Alex, is rushed to the hospital, via ambulance.

“He sacrificed his life to save mine…..after all I did!” She tells Mandy. “ I broke his heart, I didn’t show up on the day he left for boot camp. He wrote, but I didn’t write back. We were young and I couldn’t face him. I couldn’t tell him I was pregnant! He’d never been able to live his dream, of the military.” Mandy, is shocked as Sara pours her heart out. She assures her that the abortion was for the best. That they were young and both had dreams. Sara, hugs her back thankful for the understanding and love they share for each other. “Life is so short, Mandy! Let’s get married this weekend!”

I stood there tears streaming down my face hot and salty against my skin. “What did you do?!” I screamed it over and over again but it was no use. Things wouldn’t change. “I- I am so sorry… there has to be a way to fix this! She can’t be dead… I can fix this!” Julie’s voice was shaky and hysterical but words couldn’t undo what she had done.

What we had done.

The aroma of thick metallic blood was sickening. It was weighing down the room. It was all over the cold hard ground, the newly ruined pristine white walls, and our hands. It was hot and sticky on my hands and shirt. I clenched my fists and felt it squish. I hurried over to the sink and thoroughly rinsed the bloody knife, as well as my hands, with hot water and soap. “Go get the gasoline from the garage, Julie. I’ll get the matches.”

                           Five months later 


I woke up and clicked off my alarm on my phone. Summertime meant no school but I still had to wake up since I had plans. I was finally going to tell someone my secret. And that someone was Grayson. My best friend since grade school and the guy I’ve had a crush on since seventh grade. 

The sickening dread of telling someone mine and Julie’s deepest darkest secret was consuming me. I already felt my heart sinking. He would tell the cops, then me and Julie would go to jail and he would never talk to me ever again. I didn’t want to do it but I had to. 

I walked into the coffee shop on maine street and got hit with the strong scent of coffee and pastries. Grayson greeted me with a warm smile and as he walked over he ran a hand through his picturesque blonde hair.

But then seeing him there, smiling and happy, I went back three years ago. Me sitting on a bench in the middle of the park with him. We had walked there all the way from my house and needed a break. We had laughed and talked about everything from our past together. He had trusted me with everything. He told me about his parents fighting, his embarrassing moments, what he thought about other people. And that’s when I knew I had to tell him what was going on. Because he had trusted me, I had to trust him.

His expression shifted, “Cass what’s wrong? You look like you’re about to cry.” He said softly as he took my hand in his. “Maybe we should go to my car. It’s quieter there.” I whispered as my voice broke. So we walked to my car and I got in the driver side and he sat shotgun. “I did something awful. At least three times. Im so, so sorry…” I say breathlessly and already in tears.

“Cass, what do you mean? You’re not making any sense.” He said confused. And then all panic hit. 

_I can’t do this. He’s going to hate us. How will he react? What will he do? Is he going to call the cops? What if I replace what I’m going to say with something else? How can I fix this? _


But then I snapped. “M- me and Julie… Do you remember the house fire at Alison’s house in February?” I asked as I clenched my fists and began to sweat. “Yeah it was awful, she died because you guys couldn’t get her out in time.” He replied solemnly. “No… n-no. No she didn’t die because we couldn’t get her out, Gray.     S- she was already dead! We killed her! Me and Julie killed her and watched her suffer but did _nothing_ to help her and then blamed it on a fire that _we_ caused!” I brought my knees to my chest, shaking and terrified of what he will do and wept. Tears soaking my shirt and pants.

I glanced over at him and he was looking slightly down with a shocked and terrified expression on his face. “I- I… why?” He whispered. 

“It was an accident I swear! Julie was bringing the knife over to Alison and slipped. But then she did it over and over again without any thought. I think maybe Julie enjoyed it, Gray. I promise I had no part in the stabbing. I tried to help her at one point but just gave up. The fire was my idea.” I said throughout sobs. 

I saw tears in his eyes as he looked over at me. Pain on his face and in his words, “I can’t believe you’d do that. But I won’t tell anyone. I _can’t_ tell anyone. As much as it hurts to say, I believe you did kill Ali. But also that you had little to no part. But we _need_ to go talk to Julie. Get her to confess.” He said shakily, as if he didn’t believe his own words. As if he wanted to run away. Straight to the cops. 

                         Julie’s house

She smiled at us as she opened the door. “Hey you guys! Long time no see! What’s up?” She said perkily. “Julie… we need to talk about something. Gray knows what we did… I’m sorry but I had to tell someone. It was him, or the cops.” I said quietly. Tears in my eyes and hands behind my back cautiously. Julie’s eyes darted from me to Grayson and then locked the door behind us. “How could you!” She screamed at me, “After everything we did to hide it from people?! You little liar!! You said you wouldn’t tell a soul!” She screamed hysterically, Hands in her hair, and face turning red from the effort of the screaming.

Grayson took my hand. “We should go. I’m sorry, Julie. She didn’t want to tell me. She was trying to keep me safe.” He said calmly but cautiously. “No. You’re not going anywhere,” Julie pointed at Grayson as she grabbed a knife from the kitchen counter, “Not until I know you won’t say a word.” She lunged at him with the knife. But missed. I screamed at her to stop but Grayson kept telling me to leave and call the cops. And then Julie turned to me.

“None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for you. I should have left you in that fire, I could’ve said, oops! Another death in the fire! What difference did it make?” She pushed me against the wall and I gave up. I was going to die. “You’re crazy! I never should’ve been friends with you!” I yelled back.

She turned to Grayson and let me go. “Surprised you didn’t intervene lover boy. You didn’t try to save your little girlfriend.” Julie approached him but I stepped in before she met him by the kitchen. “Stop. Just let him go and take me. He won’t tell anyone.” I pleaded.

But she lunged. And as soon as I knew I should feel a knife in my stomach Grayson was in front on me. I saw blood seep into the back of his navy blue shirt. I screamed. My eyes grew wide and fear shot up the back of my neck. I screamed and screamed. It was the kind of scream you heard in horror movies. Not in real life though. I grabbed a pan on the stove and hit Julie as hard as I could in the head before and she crumbled to the ground. I was already breaking down into tears and trying to help Grayson.

“It’s ok… you’re ok.” I said shakily trying to put pressure on his wound. “Cass it’s no use. Even by the time medics get here I’m already going to be dead.” Grayson replied weakly. His face was pale and there was blood all over the marbled floor. “No. Don’t say that! I can’t lose you… you’re my only friend.” I was running out of breath. I could barely see through my own tears and the realization of the situation was setting in. Grayson was dying and there was nothing I could do about it.

“It’s ok Cass. Really. I know you tried to keep me away from all of this but it was only a matter of time…” He said breathlessly, “It’s not your fault I tried to protect you.” I looked at him and saw his hope fading. He gave me a weak smile and brushed my hair out of my face. “I couldn’t have asked for a better life. Maybe a longer one, but only if it was with you. Goodbye Cass. I’ll see you again, I promise.” And with that he exhaled one last time and he was gone.

“He sacrificed his life to save mine… after all I did…” I whispered to no one in particular as I stared at his lifeless body on the floor.

“Well that’s such a shame.” A voice from behind me said. It was Julie. “Y’know why I killed Alison? It wasn’t an accident, it just looked that way. She was planning to befriend me and leave you behind. I just couldn’t let that happen, so I did what I had to! Same with him,” she gestured to Grayson, “He was trying to take you away from me. He told me all about it, tomorrow night at the movies he was going to ask you out. So this was just perfect! Now we can be best friends again!” She said in a creepily happy tone.

“I would rather die than be friends with you. You’re a psychopath!” I yelled, “You killed our only friends!” I was still sobbing but I was angry. I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth. “Well since we can’t seem to get along about this, then I’m really sorry about what I’m about to do. I truly am.” She took three steps forward and I felt a sharp pain all the way across my neck, then it all went black.

I never woke up after that.

“He sacrificed his life to save mine… after all I did”

“He’s not even dead what are you talking about?”

“I broke my promise to him”

“About the cookie?”

“It was too much to keep, a promise like that. Perhaps I will go to hell”

“Over a cookie?”

“And now he’s gone, dead. Saved my life from that dreaded demon!”

“Aye, don’t call me a demon basta-“

“LANGUAGE! Now where was I? Oh right, he saved my life from the evil enchanter demon… who makes people clean their rooms”

“Why are we still on this? If your going to claw me to death each time I tell you to clean up your mess then I’m done asking… I’d like to live”

“We shall pray that he goes to heaven”

“Your not even listening to me”

walks in room

“Hey!”

“Hey!”

“Hey!”

“Hey my best bro ur not dead omg!”

“Nope my best bro, I’m alive!”

“Sweet”

“Totally”

“What the f-“

at the same time “LANGUAGE!”

“He sacrificed his life to save mine… after all I did.” I mutter to myself as I watch the guards hang the man on a cross. I watch as his mother cries and the blood stains the wood of the cursed tree. I knew this was my fault, I was so selfish, I was persuaded by the money of one of his disciples who turned to be a crooked man. The man looks so peaceful on the cross, not angry, but like he has a contentment in his heart. He asks for a drink and the guards give him some sour wine. He sips it and then, he cries his final words, “It is finished.” Suddenly, the sky goes dark and the ground rumbles. Men, women, and children scream but I just stand there, in awe,

Three days pass, and on Sunday, two women race through town, grinning so happily that I almost think something amazing has happened, like someone coming back to life, like… I race after the women and listen as they tell John, and some other men shocking news. “Jesus . . . Empty Tomb . . . Angel!” Is all I can make out, they talk so fast their words sound slurred. John and another disciple zip out they house and I tip-toe after them. I listen as they examine the empty tomb, only a few rags are left.

Word spreads that Jesus is back, and everyone is shocked. I begin to believe, and on his last day on earth before returning to his Father, I except him as my Savior.

“Lord, thank you for sending Your Son to die for us on the cross for our sins and rise again on the third day. We were unholy and unjust, but you didn’t care, you loved us. Please send this message to whoever doesn’t believe, so that they may come to know you. We all need perfect love like yours. We all need you. Amen.”

Ember pushed hard against the door, water spraying out of the corners, when something slammed into it. She turned to look at it and saw two eyes.

“Wade!”

“Keyhole!” He shouted.

Ember pulled the key out and he squeezed through.

Once he was through, he reformed himself and held the door with her.

“I was hoping to make a more heroic entrance.”

“Wade! You came back! After everything I said!”

“And miss all this?” He replied.

Ember glanced past him and saw the water flowing over to the Blue Flame.

“Hold the door!”

She leaped out from under Wade and grabbed some sandbags, which she placed all around the Flame and flared up to melt the sand to glass before pulling it up to form a barrier.

She glanced up at Wade as the glass on the door broke.

“Ember, we have to go! I’m sorry to say this, but the flame is done, the shop is done!” Wade shouted to her over the water.

“No, I can’t leave! This is my father’s dream!” Ember shouted back.

A huge fish of water grabbed a shelf and pushed it into the glass barrier, breaking it. Some other water picked up a lantern.

“Grab me that lantern!” Ember said.

Wade started to reach for it, but was swept away by a huge hush of more water.

“No, no, no, no!” Ember whispered as a fourth large wave of water pushed a bunch of debris toward her and forced her into the hearth where her mother did love readings.

She fell onto the stone table and looked at the empty stone bowl the Flame used to be into. Wade then appeared from under some debris with the flame in the lantern.

Ember looked toward him. “Oh, thank you!” She rushed toward him and grabbed the lantern quickly.

She kneeled on the stone table when some water touched her body and she flinched back. She looked up at the wall of debris and went over to it to close the holes that had water coming from them. Behind her, Wade started to evaporate.

When Ember looked back at him and saw the bubbles, she lost her smile and looked up to the chimney.

“Climb!”

Ember jumped up into the chimney and started climbing up with Wade following her.

When they were barely halfway up the chimney, something hit the building and made the chimney collapse on itself.

“Go back down!” Ember shouted.

The chimney entrance was now clogged with rubble and Wade started bubbling more than before. On the stone table now, Wade reached up to the rocks and pushed up on them, but they didn’t move.

Ember turned to Wade, noticed the more bubbles and turned to the wall of debris and placed her hands against it to reopen it.

“I have to reopen this.”

“Ember, no. The water will come in and you’ll be snuffed out.”

“But you’re evaporating! I don’t know what to do!”

“It’s going to be okay.”

“No it’s not going to be okay!”

“Ember, I have no regrets. You gave me something people search for their whole lives.”

“But I can’t exist in a world without you! I’m sorry I didn’t say it before. I love you, Wade.”

Wade looks up at the ceiling. “I really do love it when your light does that.” He whispered.

Ember and Wade hug each other.

——————

“They’re in the hearth!”

Ember’s mother and father rushed to the fire person rolling the debris away.

Ember kneeled there with Wade nowhere inside. “Wade is gone.” She cried.

Ember’s mother walked up to her. Her father stayed behind and turned sad.

Ember stood up and brought her father the lantern with the flame. “This is all my fault.” She sobbed. “The shop. Wade.” She handed her father the lantern. “I’m a bad daughter.”

Her father took the lantern and put it beside him. “Ember, the shop was never the dream, you were the dream. You were always the dream.”

Ember cried a little more and leaned down to hug her dad. “I loved him dad.”

Ember’s mother walked over with a sad expression and joined their hug.

Then a quiet crying sound joined in with Ember’s.

She heard it and stood, turning toward the hearth. “Butterfly.” She whispered.

Then louder, “Butterfly, windshield wipers, half a butterfly.”

The crying was louder now and drops of water fell from the ceiling into a bucket.

“An old man on his deathbed remembers the summer he fell in love. She was out of his league and he was young and scared. He let her go thinking surely summer would come again, it never did!” Ember laughed.

More droplets fell from the ceiling.

“You are perfect match! 10 out of 10!” Ember’s mother exclaimed.

“I don’t understand, what’s going on?” Ember’s father asked her mother.

“Just say something to make water guy cry, okay?”

“Umm, you are no longer panned.” Her father said.

“Banned.” The voice responded.

“Banned.” Her father corrected himself.

Even more tears fell from the ceiling and landed in the bucket.

“I want to explore the world with you, Wade Ripple. I want to have you with me, in my life, forever!”

A final drop of water fell from the ceiling and Ember ran over to the bucket and stood over it.

Two eyes and a wide smile appeared from it and Ember backed away as Wade rose up from the bucket.

“Woah.” He whispered, reaching down and grabbing his shirt before turning to Ember. “You’re, uh, chimney needs cleaning.”

Ember laughed happily and ran to him. She placed her arms around his head and stared at him for a few seconds then kissed him.

——————

“I’m not really one for tearful goodbyes.” Wade said.

“Oh, Wade, you big liar!” His mother got teary eyed. “Drip, drip, drip, goes the baby boy.” She cried. Wade cried with her.

“Are you sure about this one?” Ember’s father asked her.

Ember sighed happily. “I’m sure.” She told her father confidently.

“Kai!” I screamed. I had just gotten back from the kitchen. Kai was waiting for me in the door way. “Kai,” I screamed again, as I watched him fall to the ground. Everything seemed to be in slow motion. I ran to Kai dropping the blanket and picnic basket. He was gone, the one thing that was never supposed to happen. I held him close to my chest as I looked up at the bright blue sky tears streaming down my face. “Kai,” I whispered, “Please don’t leave me.”

“He’s gone,” Aaron was standing near the door, I hadn’t even noticed him until now. I looked at him taking a shaky breath, “You did this. He’s your brother.” Aaron laughed, “He was my brother. He’s dead now.” I stood up, “You think this is funny! He died.” Aaron walked over to me, “Maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to judge. You and him were fighting-weren’t speaking.” I looked down and Kai, “We were trying to fix that.” Aaron put a hand on my shoulder, “And it was your fault in the first place, wasn’t it. You told him you had to leave. And for what? You only found pain after you left.” I took a shaky breath, “It was the worst mistake of my life.” Aaron nodded, “I guess we’re all entitled to our mistakes. Even Kai, he made a mistake just now. You see I came to put a stake through your tiny human heart. But Kai, he wouldn’t let me get through. He said not to touch you. So you shouldn’t be blaming me. Really you shouldn’t be blaming anyone but you. If you had never fought with Kai you wouldn’t be here trying to fix your mistakes. And I wouldn’t be here either. The only reason I came here was to kill you. After you left my brother, he was never the same. You broke his heart so I came to steal yours. Everything that happened here was your fault.” I fell back down to the ground. Aaron was right. I had killed Kai. It was all my fault. “He sacrificed his life to save mine… after all I did… after all the suffering he went through because of me.” Aaron nodded, “Yep, but now I see this as a better punish met for you. Living with pain, the same pain you made Kai suffer through for three years.” I put my hands to my eyes and cried, “Km sorry. I’m so sorry.” I wasn’t talking to Kai, or to Aaron. I didn’t know who I was talking to.

I stayed with Kai until the night fell, the stars looked so bright. It felt like they were taunting me, reminding me of what me and Kai used to have. I walked home and sat down on my bed. The first thing I did was grab a piece of paper. I wrote a letter to Kai and then on to myself. My future self. I walked back to Kai’s house, his body had been buried behind his favorite tree, Enzo made sure of it. I stood at the tree holding the letter in my hands. I set the letter down, and walked away preparing to forget my life, my life with Kai any way. He had died for me, and now I had to make his memory dead to me. I had to move on. My Grandma once told me there’s no such thing as moving on, you just get to it. But I couldn’t do that I had to move on. I had to forget I ever loved Kai. Even though it meant erasing evey good thing that ever happened to me. I couldn’t live with so much pain. I had to forget.

My voice comes out sort of foggy. “He sacrificed his life to save mine… after everything I did to him…” It’s all I can do to stop myself from collapsing in grief and guilt.

“It’s not your fault,” he tells me, sinking onto the ground next to me. His young face etched with deep emotion far too wise for his youth. 

“Yes it was…” Suddenly, my guilt turns to the need to protect. I look up at my son, so innocent yet been through so much. “You shouldn’t be here. You’re barely a teenager. You can’t… you… you need to leave”-he moans-“right now. You’re too young for this…” I pause to recollect my thoughts.

“I can’t leave you Mom. You’re broken. It’s not your fault Dad died, but… you need me,” Forrest says. 

“You must leave or else the same thing will happen to you!!!” I scream, instantly regretting it. Forrest winces, not taking this lightly. I continue, in a much gentler tone. “You must go live with Aunt Marlene. It is not safe for you here anymore.” 

“No! I’m not leaving you, Mom. You’ll die!” Forrest wails, and suddenly I feel so unprotected and bare. The wind easily rushes through the house that we once lived in, now burnt to nothing, whipping black ash in my face. But for some reason I don’t care anymore. I don’t see any reason to go on. Forrest’s father lives in his son, and I will never be able to get past that. 

“Forrest.” I use my tense voice, but it instead sounds scratchy. He looks up at me, sad blue eyes swimming with tears. I choke, recognizing him in those eyes. Recognizing the one I’ll never see again, and it’s all my fault. “Your father was a bad man who did worse things. But I still loved him. I do love him. I love him more than the moon loves the stars, I love him more than the sun loves the sky. And I won’t ever be able to get past him, no matter how hard I try. Your father made me feel…”-I pause, searching for the right words-“alive. He made me feel like I was worth something. And if you stay here with me, I will be broken, a pile of bones and skin and grief.” I take a rasping breath and cough from the smoke. “Your parents are bad people, Forrest. I want you to forget about me, forget about your father. I want your Aunt Marlene to raise you as if you were her own.”

“No, Mom, I can’t… I love you. And Dad. You expect me to just forget about the past 13 years of my life?” He asks in a hushed whisper. He puts his hand on my bone cold one. “You can’t send me away, Mom. Please.”

I shake my head. “I love you too Forrest. That’s why you must go. I want you to live a normal life, lead with happiness and don’t ever look back. Especially not at me. I’m not a good person, Forrest. Aunt Marlene will take care of you, I promise. Now go. GO!” I add harshly. I pull him into a quick hug, holding his muscular body tight against my own frail frame. “I love you so much,” I whisper into his ear, “please do this, for your father if no one else.”

He nods, releasing me. He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t need to. His eyes say everything as he walks away from me, his past, towards his aunt, his future. I’m letting go, I’m slipping away. I’ve lost my husband and my son. I shudder inside and huddle next to what used to be his body and wait for death to whisk me away.

“He sacrificed his life to save mine… after all I did…” the words echoed around in her head as she tried to hold back a sob. A tear slid down her cheek and dropped onto her pillow. “I wish he was here, now he could tell me it wasn't my fault…” she cried silently. She sniffed, wiping away more tears with the back of her hand, the cold sweat still on her forehead from the nightmare. It was the only thing that kept her awake at night, the image of him laying dead on the ground haunted her for days afterwards. A soft knock interrupted her thoughts, causing her to quickly pull herself together. A part of her wanted to ignore the noise but another nagging voice told her not to be so mean to whoever it was. She sat up and wiped away the sleep from her eyes and face. “Come in?” Her tone was harsh as she spoke but there was still something vulnerable about her voice. She cleared her throat before speaking again. “Sorry, who is it?” There was no response, she frowned at the silence. “Hello?” Silence greeted her again so she got out of bed. Her bare feet touched the cold wood floor and she felt her skin tingle slightly. With every step the temperature seemed to drop until goosebumps covered her entire body. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself. She looked towards the door and noticed the light under the crack had gone out. She opened the door and peered into the hallway; no one was outside. The house seemed even colder than before and she could hear a faint ticking coming from the walls. This was odd enough to cause her to move closer. As she reached the living room she heard what sounded like someone knocking. She stood there for a moment trying to make sense of this, she hadn't seen anyone since the day she came home. The sounds continued but she was certain it was just the wind or something similar making them. She walked over to the window and pulled the curtains open. she nearly fainted with fright, there on the lawn stood a thin scrawny figure with elongated arms and legs, the head bobbed around in the breeze. she quickly curled on the floor with one hand over her mouth as if she was afraid that the creature would be able to hear her breathing. If there was someone outside in the garden then who knocked on her door? She didn’t want to get up off the floor to check whether the creature was still there. The air suddenly became much heavier, as if there were thousands of people breathing in unison. She squeezed her eyes shut to try and focus on anything other than the weight above her. She let out a shaky breath when she realized her breaths were loud and shallow, but they weren't enough to drown out the sound of footsteps slowly approaching. She knew there was no way she'd be able to escape them. Her mind went blank at the thought and she began crying uncontrollably. She wished the person would just walk by and leave her alone. The footsteps grew louder, the pressure in her chest became worse.