it all stopped we weren’t going to make it it was over i would have to say goodbye i cried a lot she held me it’s really my fault i should have done better it’s my fault we had to end it well i said goodbye i still talk but just to talk you don’t i think i’m annoying you i still love you i will never stop but really i feel hurt so this year will be the real goodbye you will really have to leave for college evil college it first took my sister and now you i didn’t want to lose either but you mean more well i will chose to not lose you i will fight for something i always wanted and that will be to be loved

This year started off great, Spending most of it with my mate. Getting the results I need, And doing many good deeds. Going through some rough patches though, Making the year go so slow. Holidays were a blast, It’s a shame they never last. The parties went on and on, This year went on so long. Getting ready for the new year, Let’s all say cheers!

2019 what a year it has been, All the laughing, All the tears, End this year with a bang of fireworks.

2020 is around the corner, Time to celebrate, Time to cheer, For now it is nearly a new year.

2019 started shitty Lost Grandmother Lost week worth of pay Hours cut Morgan diagnosed with cancer Morgan loses one of her front legs I did renew my love of the ocean Cannot return to the mountains Riley doing well with diabetes Lost Morgan due to the cancer (2003-2019) Work drags, little changes. Same old, day in, day out. 2019 can die in a fire 2020 will be better Election year? hides in cave

(Morgan and Riley are cats, for the curious...Riley will feature in future tales.)

I planned to read a book or two, Go to the gym and clean my room, Work on my art and play kazoo, Smell the flower’s sweet perfume, I had resolved then to reflect, On my life and e’vry act, And find some newfound self-respect, — As a matter of fact, I mapped out to travel more, Trek down every trail and track, And open all mine loc’ked doors, Never fooling to look back. Yet now I paused to take a peek, At the old days I’d left behind, Thinking I had reached new peaks, And what then should I find? But days that look a lot like these, The same old books, and wrinkly knees, The same old junk and lousy keys, And planter pots filled w’th crusty lees, I gazed back on my ample rear, Remembering all my newfound fears, And resolved with feigned but faithful cheer: That 2020 would be my year.

Just when the cloudy sky was clearing And the flowers were blooming. Grandma flew away to her open gates of heaven.

Then.

Summer sizzled, people I knew went on vacation. I knew nothing but my routine for hospital visits. I grew angry and angrier at all the doctors who repeatedly voiced, “He won’t make it. There’s nothing else to do.”

On Oct 1st the leaves were already fallin’ The sky was grey for all that rain that fell the night before. Holding his hand for many hours, listening to all the hits he played on our car trips to see grandma. I said goodbye to my father..

There were many nights I could not comfort my broken heart, So I stayed in bed as the sun rose and fell once again.

Still mending it, As the year has come to an end.

A loss of a friend is considered to be a loss when it has a negative affect on your life. When your life only got better since you cut any connection to that person it's considered a blessing. Going into 2020 I have one less friend. Someone i considered a friend. I thought it was a loss but it turned out not to be one. So it's a blessing according to my defition of loss. A blessing I wasn't thankful for from the beginning. But now I am. I am going into 2020 with one less 'friend' but my life being better because of this blessing. I'm thankful for 2019 for being the year I realized not all the people I lose are considered to be a loss. Some are just blessings.

2019, you weren’t kind to me. For every Every good thing It felt like you Gave me Two bad things In return.

Why is it That you Tease me with life and Art and rhythm and then Suck the joy Out of my life Like a mosquito?

Why is it that you Reward Other people For my misery? I am in a fishbowl, Russian roulette With the odds stacked against me.

So I’m glad To be leaving you behind; A stepping stone In my quest to Be a better person. I’m ready to Step into the Embrace Of 2020 and Into my fresh start.

The past year has really handed my ass to me. I started the year wanting a kiss from a boy I had no real feelings for and I don’t understand why. It’s not like we were a match made from the heavens or anything, we hooked up one time and never talked about it. I did hope I could know what he was thinking considering he started and managed the entire thing. But maybe that is what my problem is, I always try to see how other people are feeling about me in stead of the reverse. I always try to like everyone but sometimes I really do not like people. In 2019 I learned I am way to friendly for someone who does not like everyone in the first interaction and it’s simply because they might be of use to me later. It’s good to meet people but is it good to not be yourself because you don’t want them to know that part of you? In 2019 I traveled to Europe for the first of what I hope to be many times and it changed how I saw the world. I saw how peaceful you can really be, even if you aren’t that confident in your actions or language . It was so exciting and mysterious to just wonder and find my next step as I was taking my current. I then came back and proceeded to have the best summer of my life (so far). There I learned how true friends do behave and watch a group of friends be the best friends they could be for each other. I quickly learned that being an adult is more than just having a job and going to it. It’s cleaning after yourself and sometimes for others, it’s helping people when they are down and when you are to,it’s considering other people while still focusing on what is gonna make you happy. This is the type of behavior I want to carry into 2020. The best and worst thing I did for myself this year was like someone that did not like me back. It was something I knew p, but could not bring myself to fully realize. I thought about him everyday as if we were the perfect couple waiting to happen, when in reality we’re we acquaintances becoming friends. It took so much of my mental strength and tumor analyzing his actions and trying to fit a puzzle together that said he liked me. I still don’t know if he did a and that’s doesn’t sit well with me but I also don’t want to reopen that chapter of the year. All I can do is look back and kick myself for being so odd about the situation. It was not a crush I enjoyed having and I wore it like a burden. It was sad and I wish I put didn’t happen, but it did and that’s something I learned to except. 2020 will be different.

“Hey dude this isn’t a toga party!” shouts a man from across the crowded room. All the partygoers erupt into raucous laughter. Cornelius is embarrassed and lost.

Everyone is wearing strange, colourful clothes that look uncomfortably tight. And the lamps in this chamber appear to have no flames. He knows he’s had a pitcher of wine to drink; perhaps his friends added a strange herb to it and are humouring themselves.

It is late at night. Dark outside. “Excuse me, Madam, but where am I?” Cornelius doesn’t understand. He was outside, and seems to have woken up on a plush bench. “Uh, Rome?” laughs the woman next to him, before seeing how upset he is. “It’s okay darling, we’ve all had those bad trips. It’s a little after midnight- officially 2020. Happy New Year!” she kisses him lightly on the cheek and saunters away, leaving Cornelius even more confused than before.

You see, Cornelius was in 2019: 2019 B.C.