Sun come take all my light the light that need my light come and go like it’s nothing demons come into mind all the time want more of my more for the light the sun take for me I feel like more every day they want more and more like I’m some prize some trophy that they need to win over they try and try but god is there god know I’m going tomorrow and today the demons come and go unsatisfied and

"So Jessica, will you come with me to the wedding or not?" She asked me.

"I don't know Melissa. Won't it be weird if I literally don't know anyone there?" I replied.

"Trust me girl, you'll be fine. You have me!" With that I reluctantly agreed. I knew she wouldn't stop until I did anyway.

The wedding was only two weeks away, so we decided to go dress shopping. Neither of us were 'girly girls' so we didn't really have many options.

I’m not really good at dressing up even for girls night out. I just like to be comfortable and comfort to me is leggings, a tank top, and a hoodie.

We decided on Ross for dress shopping. They’re reasonably priced and have a decent selection and as a young writer I need to pinch every penny I can.

We grabbed a few dresses off of the rack and then headed back to the fitting room, we shared the handicap one. I never like how anything looks on me. I think I look disgusting.

“Ugh, I hate my reflection.” I said.

“Stop it Jess. You’re beautiful.” Melissa replied.

“I just don’t like anything that I see. I have a horrible sense of self image.”

“Well, you are beautiful. Maybe you should talk to someone about those feelings. They’re kind of dark.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“That’s my favorite one that you’ve tried on by the way. The teal really brings out the blue in your eyes.”

“Thanks Melissa. So you think this is the one?”

“Most definitely.”

I went with the teal dress. Melissa liked it and I’m not good at that sort of thing anyway. She chose a pink rose colored dress with lace. But she always looks good in anything. Everything complements her blonde hair and brown eyes.

TWO WEEKS LATER The day of the wedding

I woke up a nervous wreck and I didn’t know why. I didn’t know anyone that was going to be there so why did I care so much?

Melissa came over. She wanted to get ready together. She was better at make up then me so that was her idea. All I did was braid my hair last night so it would be curly today, I never wear make up. I don’t see the point. I am who I am and I look how I look for a reason. Why change it? Plus I don’t like how it feels, it’s a sensory thing.

She put this black, grey smokey eye look on me and a simple clear gloss. For herself, a slightly darker pink shade then her dress was. Then it was time for the shoes. I hated heals but she insisted and you don't say no to Melissa.

"You look great!" Melissa squealed.

"I wish I felt great."

"Oh, stop it. You'll be fine. Let's go."

She drove. I could have but I was to anxious and when my anxiety takes over its no good for me to be behind a wheel. It took about 20 minutes or so to get there.

'Welcome to the Wedding of Daniel and Jennifer' the sign in the entrance said. Daniel, I knew that name. But it couldn't be him. Daniel was my first love. It must have been going on 14 years since I've seen him last. We'd lost contact but not for lack of trying on my part. I keep looking for him throughout the years with no luck. It was like I couldn't shake him. But it couldn't be him, there was no way.

"Melissa, who are you friends with? The bride or the groom?" I asked her.

"The bride why?"

"Just wondering. Well we better go and find a seat."

We entered the room the ceremony was going to be in and it was beautiful. It was a woodsy theme with pretty purple accents. We found seats in the mid-front and in no time the wedding party started to make it's was to the front of the room. The groom followed by the groomsmen.

"Oh my God." I said a little too loud and Daniel and I made eye contact. It was him. It was my Daniel. He looked shocked to see me in the audience yet somehow also relieved.

He stood there and kept making eye contact with me until it was time for the bride to come in. She looked beautiful, her dress, her makeup, it was all flawless.

Once the ceremony began I felt this huge pit in my stomach and I couldn't just sit there and watch him marry someone else. So to the best of my ability, without drawing attention to myself I got up and walked out and made my way outside.

Within a few moments someone was grabbing my hand and turning me around. It was Daniel.

"What on earth are you doing?" I practically yelled at him. "You're supposed to be getting married right now!"

"I can't do it. I knew it from the second that I saw you that it wasn't meant to be."

"I can't be responsible for ruing a wedding Daniel. I can't what is everyone going to think when they see you standing out here with me?"

"You didn't ruin the wedding. I did. You don't understand, you don't know how I've looked for you. I looked until it seemed hopeless. You have never left my mind Jess."

"You were looking for me too?" I said looking up into his big brown eyes. "I can't be seen talking to you right now. This is not okay to do here."

"Then follow me."

Without hesitation, I did.

I remember her for her golden straight hair that swung loosely over her waist, and her large blue eyes that lit up every time she entered a room. Since the day she transferred to our school in the 6th grade, she captured everyone’s attention.

I never understood why everyone was in love with her instantly. During study halls, the boys gathered around to listen about her weekends, and the girls lined up to braid her hair with soft giggles. They admired her all the same.

Not me. I wasn’t so easily swayed by her pretty face and fake bubbly spirit. Or at least, I didn’t want to be.

I didn’t fall in love with her until that ONE day.

That one day when I snuck out of the classroom early, she found me on the stairs alone. The project I held in front of me was torn to a disaster, and the snarling faces the boys wore while they ripped it apart was still fresh on my mind. I couldn’t go up there with what little I had. There was no way someone with a life as perfect as hers could understand.

But she didn’t need to understand. She just made me laugh and laugh until I couldn’t move my abdomen anymore. Then she said something that stayed with me forever. “You should let yourself be seen more often.”

I’ve forgotten about her since then. I’ve moved on to other crushes who were perhaps more attainable. I let myself live my life being seen, even with the little bit I felt I had.

10 years later, I’m at a childhood friend’s wedding. The venue is quite wonderful, with blue orchids spread across the floor and pink crystal lights hanging from the ceiling.

And there she is. Anyone would recognize their first love. She stands close to a middle-aged man, their fingers intertwined. Her blonde hair is now cut short to her chin and her plump lips are stained a bold red. The middle-aged man caresses the back of her hand in his grip. They look in love.

Seeing her now, I understand why we all fell in love with her so easily. It’s more than her beauty. I can tell she still holds that kind heart and bubbly spirit that made her stand out in the first place. She just has a way of making everyone feel special

Caroline Winters hated weddings. Not because she was one of those women who swore she was far too independent to need a man, or because she had once had her heart broken and had now turned cynical. She just didn’t like weddings. When asked why, she’d always just shrugged her shoulders and said ‘Because. I just don’t.’ Perhaps it was a genetic quality, and her mother had it too. She would never know.

As she waited for her breakfast to finish cooking, she peeled the sticky note from her refrigerator. I cannot believe this is Becca’s wedding invitation, she thought. Only two lines were written on the pink paper. An address with a line underneath that said ‘formal wear only.’

Becca hired in as Caroline’s assistant earlier in the year, so even though Caroline knew very little about her, she somehow managed to know slightly more than everyone else in the office. What no one knew however, was the mystery man Becca was soon to be marrying. Becca always responded to every question with a shrug or a look that said ‘you’re wasting your time, because I’m not telling.’ Everyone assumed the worst, asking for photographic evidence. That too, was met with more shrugs.

With the day finally upon her, Caroline inhaled her breakfast, got ready and left a short while later. For a June wedding, the Kentucky air had lost much of its humidity and for that she was grateful. The church parking lot was filled by the time she arrived, leaving Caroline to park in an adjacent parking lot and walk over. Having forgotten her sunglasses, she used her hand as a visor for any familiar faces.

She abruptly stopped the minute she saw the only familiar face in the parking lot. Grant Hughe. He stood with his hands in his pockets, laughing with a group of men. His dress shirt was evenly pressed, and even though she couldn’t see his face, she could tell he had been working out. She couldn’t hear what they were saying, but she watched as each one slapped their hand on Grant’s shoulder before making their way inside. Without thinking, Caroline made her way towards him, her heels clicking against the asphalt. Suddenly, she stopped. What was she doing? It had been years since she’d seen him. Their lives had clearly gone in two different directions many years ago. She might think saying hello was harmless, but what if he thought it awkward?

“Caroline?”

Her voice caught in her throat. “Grant,” she squeaked out. “How are you?”

He nodded. “I’m good.” There was an awkward silence between them and Caroline blurted out the only question she could think of.

“What are you doing here?” She asked.

He raised his eyebrows, waiting for Caroline to catch up. When she continued to stare cluelessly at him, he laughed. “I’m the mystery man.”

“Mystery-“ Mystery man. Becca’s mystery man. Becca’s soon-to-be husband.

The color faded from her cheeks and she thought she might pass out. Reaching out, Grant steadied her.

Concern etched across his face. “Caroline, are you alright?”

She waved aside his concern, and stumbled back a couple steps.

“Caroline.” Pulling her to him, she inhaled the scent that could only be described as Grant; fresh rain mixed with cedar wood. Instantly, she was transported seven years into the past, when she and Grant went on their first date.

She remembered the way Grant spilled his coffee on himself and the running joke that became years later. Back in his arms again, she felt like someone had taken all of their memories and dumped them all out, like photographs from a box. Flashes of candlelit dinners, dancing in the kitchen, of vacations out on the coasts, learning to paddle board in the early sunrise. Each memory ached more than the last.

When she opened her eyes, she glanced at the open water bottle Grant was offering her. Grateful, she took it from him. She wiped at her mouth, and wondered what the right words to say were. What is one supposed to say when the only man you’ve ever loved is standing in front of you, preparing to marry someone else?

“It’s been awhile,” she whispered. Truthfully, it was the understatement of the year. Grant nodded, unable to meet her eyes.

“Yeah.” He said.

Caroline hated this. There was more to say than that. She knew that, and she knew he did too. Folks around them made their way inside, each person giving Caroline and Grant a courteous nod and smile. She watched Grant pull up his sleeve and look at his watch.

He motioned to the church. “I should probably get back inside.”

“Me too.”

The church’s air conditioning did little to help the heat she felt rising in her chest. Rushing into the women’s room, she locked the door and looked at herself in the mirror. She didn’t look like a woman on the verge of crying, but her shaky fingers said otherwise. Get it together, she thought. She reminded herself that she and Grant had ended their relationship years ago and that it was inevitable that they would go their separate ways and form relationships with other people. But Caroline couldn’t ignore the look in Grant’s eyes when he saw her…

With the ceremony set to soon begin, Caroline sat in a pew near the front. She couldn’t help but notice the way Grant shifted his weight from one foot to the other, and the way he seemed to clear his throat. Was he suddenly struggling like she was? Caroline glanced at the large oak doors that still stood open and wondered if she could make an exit without causing any sort of disruption. Just as she reached for her purse, soft deliberate piano notes rang into the air.

It was too late. The ceremony was beginning. She would be forced to sit and watch what would certainly be the hardest moment in her life. One by one, each member of the bridal party made their way down the aisle. The bridesmaids dresses were beautiful, each dress a various shade of blue. Caroline was surprised that Becca had chosen blue for the dresses. She’d always said she hated blue. It wasn’t until she caught a glance at Grant, that she realized Becca hadn’t been the one to choose that color. Grant had.

He loved blue, she remembered. She remembered the first time they’d made love in his bed, tangled up in his blue sheets. She remembered the way he gently stroked the knots from her hair and the way he kissed her. The way he whispered ‘you have the most beautiful blue eyes.’ She closed her eyes, letting everything else around her fade away for a brief, solitary moment. She knew that she would never again have those moments with him. And she now knew, more than ever, how much she ached for them.

When she opened her eyes, she saw everyone else on their feet as Becca made her way towards Grant. Embarrassed, she quickly stood and wiped the moisture from her cheeks. She placed the memories and the heartbreak into the back of her mind, where she promised herself she would never look at them again. Without realizing it, a tear had fallen onto her cheek and when Becca gave her a subtle wave under her bouquet, her eyes were rimming with tears too.

Wiping her cheek, Caroline hoped to steal one final moment with Grant. Just one more moment that would forever be only theirs. But Grant had his eyes firmly on his soon-to-be wife. He looks happy, she thought. Taking Becca’s hands into his own, everyone sat down in quiet silence. The priest spoke quickly, and when it was Becca’s turn to recite her vows, she could only make out a few words before tearing up. She laughed them aside, and everyone else laughed with her. Everyone but Grant.

His posture was stoic, and instead of looking at Becca he was looking out the large glass window. Caroline mirrored his movements and looked outside. She could see the tent set up, with glass bulbs hanging from the edges. She’d noticed a food truck parked by the edge of the grass earlier. She now watched young wait staff carry aluminum trays of food to the tent. The scent of molasses and brown sugar carried into the church and Caroline immediately knew what awaited. Barbecued meats. Grant’s favorite.

When she returned to look at Grant, his attention was fixed on Becca. She watched as he wiped a tear from her face. Being that Becca was an aspiring author, Caroline knew that her vows wouldn’t be ending anytime soon. The only thing Becca loved more than writing, was writing about how much she loved her soon-to-be husband.

That was when it happened. Caroline caught Grant looking at her. Neither had any sort of expression on their faces, yet their eyes were having an entire conversation.

I’m so sorry, Caroline. I know Grant. Me too. What if I’m making a mistake? What if Becca isn’t the one? She is, Grant. You guys will have a beautiful life together. I love Becca, but- I know. I love you too. I always will.

With the church suddenly falling quiet, Caroline glanced around. Half of the guests were staring at her, while the other half stared at Grant staring at her. It would only make the situation worse if either were to speak, so she turned her attention to her purse in her lap. Satisfied, everyone turned their attention to Grant as he was handed a microphone. Keeping her eyes closed, Caroline imagined Grant speaking directly to her.

My dearest Becca,

Two years ago I could never have imagined I would be standing here, with you. I never imagined I would be in this place. A place where I look into the eyes of my best friend and pledge to you my love.

Caroline kept her head low, soaking in every word he spoke. She remembered the way they spoke about their future. The countless evenings spent in the kitchen together, when Grant would twirl her around claiming what a beautiful wife he had. She’d lean into his chest and sway to the music and remind him that he did not have a wife, he only had a girlfriend. Not yet, he’d whisper to her. But one day I will. Caroline shook her head. What had happened to have gotten them here? She had never envisioned Grant with any other woman at the alter besides her.

You are the sweetest, most loving, caring and kind person I have ever known, and I have no doubt that you make me a better man for it. You believe in me and have shown me how to love with unconditional acceptance, and every day you reaffirm that you are my soul mate. Together, we are an unbreakable pair, bound by our love.

I’m not sure that a lifetime is long enough for me to return all that you have given me, but I promise to spend my days by your side. To inspire you, laugh with you, cherish you, confirm you, and share your dreams and grow with you.

I believe in what we are and I will always love you with every beat of my heart.

With Becca’s wedding band in his hand, Caroline watched and felt her stomach twist on itself. Grant kept his eyes on Becca as he slipped the band onto her finger. She watched the newlyweds seal their ceremony with a kiss, and in that moment she realized that Grant, and all of her memories with him, would be just that.

Memories.

“Do I have to go?” I asked Richard again hoping for a different answer. I buried myself further down into our comfy couch, romance novel in one hand, cup of hot chai in another.

He shot me a pleading look while buttoning his navy blue dress shirt. “I can’t go by myself to my boss’ daughter’s wedding.”

I took another sip of my hot drink, placed the oversized mug on the coffee table and walked toward him.

“Why don’t we both stay?” I smiled. “Your boss invited so many people. She won’t even notice.”

“Yahaira, please. You need to get ready or we’re going to be late.” He was firm.

“Fine,” I said. “But don’t get mad at me. You knew I was an introvert before you swiped on me. It was literally my profile name: Introvertida Pero Cute.”

“I know,” he nodded. “You remind me often. Now let’s be quick. I don’t want to be late.”

We finished getting ready in silence. The sound of the rain drumming against our living room window.

The ride to the church was also quiet. As much as I hated going out, I hated it the most when it was raining. The rain was perfect for staying in, not getting my curly hair frizzy beyond control, stepping into puddles because the church parking lot was packed and we had to park far.

It never rains in Phoenix, so the water accumulates quickly. My heels were soaked and I was cold. I just hoped the ceremony would be quick and we could head back home before sunset.

Richard knew quite a few people and kept stopping to chat.

“I’m gonna wait for you in a pew,” I said. He nodded without looking at me. Thankfully, he knew how much I hated small talk and didn’t pressure me to partake in it.

From my seat, I scanned the church. We were on the bride’s side which happened to be the blonde Scottsdale looking side. My dark Dominican ass stood out. I looked at the groom’s side and they looked more like me. At a glance, I saw saris and guessed they were Indian.

I turned my attention to the groom. My heart stopped. It was Anup, my college boyfriend—my first love. He broke up with me after four years of dating because he couldn’t bring home a non-Indian girl to his parents, yet here he was, five years later, about to marry a very non-Indian blonde. My college graduation heartbreak flooded me with emotions I had healed from. Or so I thought.

Why did I care? I found a man who adored me and who took me to meet his parents after a few months of dating. A man who didn’t care that our cultures were different. A man who fought for me. So why did seeing Anup feel painful? Why did I care? Before I could explore my downward spiral any further, Richard was by my side.

Allen smiled, happy to be invited to a wedding! He didnt have much info on it honestly, just when and where. He didn't read to much into the invite but decided to go! What could go wrong? It was also an escape from the castle je called home. How he hated it so much.

On the way to the wedding he was prepared, though nothing could prepare him for this. The wedding was no other than Jei Karmaras. The kid he loved so long ago, the same Jei with the bright red hair that helped him through everything in that god awful camp. Everything came back. All those seven years of Allens life that Jei was in everyday just.. Came back. As soon as he noticed Jei eyeing him he gave a wave! What was the wave full of? The sorrow for leaving without a goodbye? The happiness of seeing him again?

Allen let that thought slip, its his wedding fir gods sake. He hasnt seen him since he wad forteen. Hes just here to support Jei! He cant suddenly just rember all their nights together. Jei gave Allen a smile. The smile Allen missed. Allen sat down in one of the seats and watched his first love get married. He cried. Not happy for the couple but sad, sad its not him. He shouldnt be sad now. They were forever ago. Yet it still hurt.

I don't understand how a regular day, a happy one even, could've turned into absolute chaos. I knew how hard it would be to go to a third wedding this month considering the fact that I'd been single for over a year. My ex-boyfriend Nathan and I were together since high school, but I told him that I wasn't ready to get married, so he broke up with me. I was 22 and sad, now I am 23 and sad. My sister got married on the first of July, then my friend Ben got married, and now my second cousin Vivian was getting married. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend. I barely even talk to her, yet I'm expected to be a bridesmaid. I have to wear the ugliest yellow-orange dress, with a giant bow and little pink flowers dotted all along the seams. I don't exactly blame her though. If you can save money on the bridesmaid dresses and make yourself look better in the process, why wouldn't you choose to. I was dreading this. I didn't even like Vivian that much. Nothing was wrong with her. She was pretty, nice, funny, and maybe even a little better than me. I just--I just couldn't handle another wedding this month.

The morning of the wedding, I woke up early, got a coffee, and drove over to Vivian's venue. Even though I was feeling tired and uptight, all the other girls were very excited, so I got into good spirits. She got her dress on, and we all helped with her hair and make-up. She looked truly beautiful. Her harvest gold hair fell just below her shoulders, glistening in the light. She had naturally curly hair, but she had it straightened for her special day. Her eyes were a green-blue colour, that looked like bright stars in the night. Her skin had this amazing glow, and her smile lit up her face before she walked down the aisle. The other bridesmaids and I, gathered around her for a quick little group hug to celebrate her. "Congratulations, Vivian. I love you, and you really deserve this," I told her with sincerity. "Thank you, Sophia," She replied. "I just can't wait to see the look on my groom's face when he sees me. The look of absolute and total love he has for me. I would give the world for him. And he would for me too," She explained while she held her heart. "I don't know what I would do without him." I smiled at her with glee. As heartbreaking as it was to think of Nathan, and what we had, I couldn't help but smile as she rambled on about how much she loved her groom. I just had hope for everything I could have one day.

Finally the time had come, time to walk down the aisle. A few of the bridesmaids opened the bright, brown, wooden, double doors. Vivian was adjusting her veil. The bridesmaids came down first. I watched the other girls as they gracefully ambled down the hall with excitement. When it was my turn, I slowly walked forward to look at all the people around me. When I looked down the hallway, up towards the groom, I gasped and I dropped my bouquet on the ground. A few people came over to me to make sure I was okay, but I couldn't even speak. It was him. Nathan. Nathan was standing at the other end of the aisle, just about as shocked as I was. I turned around to see Vivian glaring at me anxiously. I knew I had to pull myself together. Vivian was a very sweet girl, and I owed it to her to make sure her day was as special as possible. So I swiftly bent over to pick up my bouquet, and I walked rapidly up to the front. Just before Vivian walked down the aisle, Nathan leaned over, trying to talk to me. I ignored him, and I focused my eyes on the blushing bride.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Nathan John Shapiro, and Vivian Elle Dowsett," the priest said. I glanced at Nathan to see if he was looking at me--he was. I was horrified. My second cousin, who is so sweet, smart and amazing was about to get married to the only person I've ever loved. The next thing I knew, the happy couple was reciting their vows. "Vivian," Nathan started. "Vivian, you have my heart. You've been my whole world since the day I met you," He said softly. I noticed that he was making eye contact back and forth between Vivian and me. "I promise to love you through whatever crazy adventures we have together. Our time together means more to me than you'll ever know," He looked down then looked right at me. He kept eye contact with me for a second or two before I realised that he was talking about us. "The truth is, I could never leave you. I could never stop loving you. When I see your face," He paused and glanced at me. "When I see your face, I see the person I want to spend every minute with, for the rest of my life. You are an amazing, kind, smart person. Everything about you I love with my entire being. I feel beyond lucky to have met you. I could never imagine my life without you in it, and if you promise to love me for our whole lives, I promise you that I will never stop making you fall in love with me every single day." People in the audience started to cry. Vivian was practically crying she was so moved. I began to weep softly. Everyone was so emotional now that he had said such caring things about Vivian, but I knew what it was really about. I couldn't stop wishing it were me in that wedding dress, holding Nathan's hands. When Nathan first proposed to me, he promised me that he would make me fall in love with him every single day. Now he was getting married to someone else, yet he was still spending every last minute fighting for us to be together. "Vivian, do you take Nathan to be your husband?" "I do," she exclaimed. "Nathan, do you take Vivian to be your wife?" The priest asked, looking at Nathan. Nathan looked over to me for a moment. "Yes sir, I d-," He started. "Nathan! Don't do this!" I yelled. Everyone turned away from the bride and groom to look at me. "Nathan.." I cried. "I love you. I love you more than words can describe. When you asked me to marry you last year, I got scared. I never wanted anything to change between us. But nothing could ever change the way I feel about you. So no matter how many people are staring at me and hating me right now, I don't care. Because I would love you through the sun and the snow. I would love you whether we live on the streets or in a huge mansion. I would even love you if you were getting married to someone else. Nothing can ever come between me and my love for you. And I think you love me too," I cried. I dried the tears from my eyes and waited for him to answer me. "Sophia," He took a step closer to me, and took my hands into his. "I have always fought for us, and it broke my heart when you told me you didn't want to marry me. I met Vivian, I moved on. But I didn't really move on. I thought bringing Vivian into my life would make me forget how much I loved you, but the truth is that I don't care if you want to get married or not. No matter what, being with you will always be enough. So Sophia, please don't leave me," He cried out. "I will never leave you!" I shouted. I grasped his arms and pulled him in. He held my waist and lower back with both his hands, as he leaned closer to me. I kissed him with love and passion, as my lips desperately clung to his, with need. I tugged lightly on the back of his hair as I kissed him more. I could hear little gasps from everyone, maybe even tears from Vivian; but I didn't care. I pulled away from him and rested my head against his, as the tips of our noses touched. He gave me another small kiss. "I love you so much," He whispered. "I love you more than anything."

He swiftly lifted me off the ground, and carried me out the door. We ran off, to a beautiful flower covered, evergreen forest. I could feel a warm summer breeze, one that carried love through the air. I don't understand how a regular day, a happy one even, could've turned into absolute chaos. But even during the hardest of times, we can count on the people we love to keep fighting for us.

I was wearing a purple mini dress to the wedding, little ankle boots and a black headband. Samantha had invited me to this wedding 3 weeks ago. She was an old friend and it was kind of her to invite me, but I think she just wanted the bodies. She wanted to impress her snobby older sister who had about 800 people at hers. Samantha was a nice girl and I was glad that she had found love. I heard that it was someone from our old Highschool. Apparently they had met again at a bar somewhere. I probably knew the guy, just didn’t remember him. I forgot a lot of people from Highschool. After I graduated I launched myself into my work and became an animator for a big corporation. As I walked into the church I saw about 20 people from my Highschool straight away. Lloyd Hanks from 10th grade English, Ashley Bates from 12th grade calculus. I walked straight up Ashley. I loved her. She was one of my best Highschool friends, even if she was a bit overbearing. “Hi Ashley!” I called as I jogged over. Ashley grinned and opened her arms. “Ali!” She cried, “I can’t believe you’re here! Did Samantha really invite you too?” I furrowed my eyebrows. That was a weird thing to say. “Um yeah. . .” Ashley was a pretty thing, white blonde hair that was almost silver with how light it was. I remember her having lots of boy troubles when we were 16. We lost contact about 3 years ago. We lived in opposite ends of the country, me in Washington, her back home in Georgia. She had a real southern accent. It was nice to be back in Georgia. The hot weather was a nice change from rainy Washington weather. I moved to Washington for school and then just stayed there because I had a job opportunity. “You haven’t heard who Sam’s marrying, have you, Ali?” Ashley said, dourly. “I-“ I stopped because of the sour look she was giving me. Who was this person that she was marrying? Was it a teacher or something? All I knew is that it was someone from my old Highschool. “Ali-“ just as Ashley was about to tell me who it was the groom made his entrance with his best men. I saw the groomsmen first. Kieran Lockwood and another older-ish man that I had never seen before. Then I saw the groom. He was wearing a black suit with a neat bow tie look. His black hair was slicked back with a clean cut. His freckled face held a grin. When our eyes met my stomach dropped like it used to 10 years ago. Harrison Turner. I called him Turner just like everyone else did. I used to love Turner. The truth was I never stopped loving him. Someone told me that he had kissed Lottie Harman right before graduation. Two days after, I ghosted him and moved to Washington. I haven’t spoken to him in about 9 years. “Alexandria?” He asked. He looked at me like he never stopped loving me either. He also looked terrified. “Turner,” I uttered quietly. Ashley swallowed next to me. “Yeah. Sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I thought you knew, Ali,” she whispered “Dex, can you get me a water?” Turner asked the groomsman I didn’t know. He nodded and patted his back as he left. Kieran also stared at me. His green eyes were as wide as dinner plates. “Turn, Buddy. . .” He trailed off and grinned as Turner started towards me. “It’s nice to see you, Ali!” Kieran cried, running after his friend. Once Turner got to me he brought me into his arms and hugged me tight. Then he brought me away from him. “You left me!” He cried, “without warning! You went to Washington without even saying goodbye!” “I know,” I muttered. “I loved you, Ali,” he yelled. Some of the guests started to look over at us. “I know,” I said a little louder this time. “I’m getting married today!” He yelled again. “I know!” I shouted back. “I know, I know, I know!” I cried pushing him back. Turner looked as surprised that I pushed him as I felt. What now? My first love ever was getting married to someone else. “You kissed Lottie Harman,” I yelled. “Who told you that!?” He asked loudly, “I would never do something like that to you!” I tried to remember who had told me. I wracked my mind for who I talked to at the pre-grad party. Then I remembered. “It was Sam,” I blinked. “Samantha?” Turner asked, his brow forming to a V as his brown eyes darkened. I started to breathe heavily. “Yes,” I whispered. Dex came running back in. “It’s starting, man, what are you doing?!“ he cried. Kieran raised his eyebrows, but ushered Turner to the alter. Ashley dragged me to a pew near the front. Turner kept his eyes on me. “Dria. . .” He called quietly as he was pushed in front of the priest. The priest looked between us suspiciously. Suddenly the flower girl and the ring bearer came into the church. They both looked stunning, Samantha’s niece, Genevieve, and Turner’s cousin, Greggory. It all happened so fast as Sam’s bridesmaids came waltzing out after the children and then there was Samantha. Only did Turner rip his eyes away from me once she was halfway down the aisle. He looked scared and alone, even while he was surrounded my hundreds of people. Sam was smiling as she walked, and so was everyone else in the wedding, except for Turner. “Dexter is Samantha’s brother,” Ashley leaned in and whispered to me. “That’s why Turner asked him to leave.” I ignored Ashley and continued to stare at Turner. He glanced back at me, but by that point Sam was already down the aisle. The priest smiled. “Well, we are here today under God to witness the union of Harrison Clarke Turner and Samantha Clarice James in holy matrimony. If you have any objections to this marriage speak now or forever hold your peace,” the priest paused briefly and looked at me, but when I didn’t say anything he continued to speak. “Do you Samantha take Harrison to be your lawfully wedded husband?“ Sam grinned. “I do,” “And do you, Harrison take Samantha to be your lawfully wedded wife?” Turner glanced at me. Samantha furrowed her brow and looked back at me as well. He looked back at Sam. “I-I don’t,” he said. I gasped along with about 100 other people. What had Turner done?

We were mermaid-young, our hips unformed against the July heat as we slipped noisily into the pool. You told me that I could be the prince that came to save you from the tyranny of your father, a god of the sea, the man who turned your legs into fins and scales and your heart into salt water.

It would only take a kiss. Pretend, you breathed at me and then on three! We submerged ourselves into the cool water and you pressed your lips to mine, softly, my eyelashes touching the tinted glass of your goggles.

We stopped playing after that summer. We both grew hips and breasts and starting shaving the downy growth of our calves and shins and knees. There was a boy at school who you began to talk about with a fervor, his floppy hair trimmed just above his shoulders and his smile changing color with the different rubber bands twisted around each one of his braces. When you asked me about which boy I felt the same kind of passion for, I would shrug and smile and you would take that as mystery, that I was hiding something from you. You were furious, but let it go, because we were pool sisters and your mother liked me, liked that I thanked her for when she made horchata and that I would go to mass with you every Sunday night.

We lost each other, in a way all things are lost: they go different places but never are not what they had been. You are still the same, a princess of a tyrannical father-god, swathed in layers of chiffon, frosted like morning ocean foam. The cathedral is full, my family and yours, joined in a way that I hadn’t foreseen or wanted. Your mother lays a cool hand on my cheek and says she is glad to see me again after all these years. She asks if my cousin ever spoke of you when we were still mermaid friends, you in a wave of white, you who is standing next the tower of cake, grinning up at my boy cousin, the one whose teeth are a perfect line after all those years of braces.

You hold the knife, aloft. His hand covers yours, curling it almost into a fist. Before the knife slides in, you look up, catching my eye. A twitch of the mouth, almost a plea of Pretend and then the knife divides, a clean and perfect tear.

“Wait how do you spell ‘sincerely’?” Carson asked. “Is there an ‘e’?” “Dude are you high? There are like three e’s and shit,” Frank whispered. An old broad in an enormous hat turned and gave them a look. Hunter had an urge to give her the finger but instead offered her a sheepish smile. He nudged his coworker in the ribs. Barrett had invited the whole office to his son’s nuptials. Barrett said it was because the company was family but Hunter figured it was to show off his fancy house. 2500 square feet with a new kitchen but builder grade bathroom fixtures in the guest bathroom, the house underwhelmed Hunter. His eyes took in the stupid Mason jar luminaries and predictable hydrangeas and calculated when he could do a Murphy fade. Frank and Carson were discussing the inscription on their joint wedding card. Hunter rolled his eyes. The bride was walking up the aisle. God he hated garden wedding. Hunter noticed a small smudge of grease on his jacket sleeve. A wave of revulsion bubbled up in his chest. He would have to have a talk with his dry cleaner. He twisted the wedding program. Then Hunter saw Ava, his Ava. Ava was the bride. His world tilted. They had met in college. Hunter had been the Resident Advisor of Ava’s freshman dorm. Electric ran up his arm the first time he saw her smile. He took care of her and showered her with attention until all of her smiles were just for him. Hunter smiled at his thoughts of her. They couldn’t get enough of each other. He couldn’t bear to share her and she was lost without him. The image of Ava’s dad intruded on his memories. Her family had come between them, taking her from school, ignoring his calls. Hunter knew love conquered all. He left her notes and gifts on her car and at her door. There had been some unpleasantness when Hunter had persisted. Storm clouds rolled across Hunter’s handsome features. Cutting all ties, they had taken her from him. Her family made her change her name and hid her from him. He squeezed his own heart commanding himself to calm. None of that mattered. She was back. She was back for him. The music swelled. Her face was so happy as she danced down the aisle. Hunter searched for all of the tiny secret signals his Ava made only for him. Carson passed Hunter the wedding card to sign. His love kindled, sparked, and blazed. With the slightest tremble in his hand, Hunter wrote to his love.