•TW: suicidal stuff • —————————

////////////////// NO SNEAK PEEKS /////////////////

I’m almost gone Rotting away For you all to see Does it matter in the end

Rotting away Soon to disappear Does it matter in the end When you can’t see me anymore

Soon to dissapear The knife’s edge is close When you can’t see me anymore What would you do

The knifes edge is close Quivering at my neck What would you do If you saw it coming

Quivering at my neck Ready to snap If you saw it coming Would you let it fly

Ready to snap I’ve had enough Would you let it fly Would you let me fly

I’ve had enough All these long years Would you let me fly If given the chance

All these long years With no escape but one If given the chance Should I take it?

With no escape but one Short amount of pain Should I take it For a lifetime of darkness

Short amount of pain I could end it now For a lifetime of darkness Isn’t that surreal

I could end it now But if I do, who will next Isn’t that surreal All the power in my hands

But if I do, who will next Will anyone break the streak All the power in my hands With no one to give it to

Will anyone break the streak Maybe I could With no one to give it to Then they’ll all be safe

Maybe I could Try to live in the cage Then they’ll all be safe No one will have to die

Try to live in a cage Where life is the chains No one will have to die No one will have to hide

Where life is the chains Can you break them safely No one will have to hide If you can be gone quickly

Can you break them safely There is no way If you can be gone quickly Then what’s the wait

There is no way I’ll find an opening Then what’s the wait If we’ll all be gone in the end?

stay focused. head up. pointe your toes. find your line. drive your heels. again.

head up. pointe your toes. straighten your arms. drive your heels. again. practice makes perfect.

straighten your arms. hit your t. lever out. practice makes perfect. chin up. eyes up. be more graceful.

again and again, my coach always harping on the details. i know i’ll be glad when i get the gold, but right now i’m annoyed and sweating. my mind wandering as i finish my last rep of blocks down the vault runway. why do we have to wear these dam leos?! i can’t wait to shower and fall asleep when i get home. did i finish my group project? oh shit i forgot to review my study guide today, i’m gunna fail the exam tomorrow. and it’s spirit week, i wonder if i’ll run into my crush during second perio——

HIT YOUR T. LEVER OUT. STAY FOCUSED. CHIN UP. EYES UP. BE MORE GRACEFUL. FIND YOUR LINE.

snapped from my thoughts, my coach’s voice grates against my ears. two more hours then i’ll be home.

AGAIN.

In a moment it’s gone The time flies by quickly It’s there for a second A second’s too fast

The time flies by quickly I can’t hold it, can’t catch it A second’s too fast Just a breath in the wind

I can’t hold it, can’t catch it Can’t keep to myself Just a breath in the wind It will never come back

trapped in this void of nothingness bound to chains of silence watching my life pass by a stranger to my home

bound to chains of silence veil upon veil suffocating me I'm a stranger to my home No longer human just a pile of fabric

veil upon veil suffocating me Shuffling around like a shadow No longer human just pile of fabric and no one cares

no one care I've faded

no one cares i have emotions

no one cares about what i have to say

no one cares that I. CANT. FUCKING. BREATH

~ it kills me to see how Afghan women are being stripped away of their identity and are being restricted to a point where they basically don't exist and it is truly awful. ~

Confusing, I don’t know what to feel. Insane, Is any of this even real?

I don’t know what to feel, My head and my heart are conflicted. Is any of this even real? Is this a prison, we’re all convicted?

My head and my heart are conflicted. My heart has my head evicted. Is this a prison, we’re all convicted? My movements, my feelings restricted.

If I had nothing to write about I’d write regardless And if I had to write without regard I’d write true to my heart

I’d write regardless Disregarding any if ands or buts I’d write true to my heart And I’d be happy doing so

Disregarding any if ands or buts It’s easy when I have nothing to write about And I’d be happy doing so Because I’d think with the words

It’s easy when I have nothing to write about The flow exists when the words do Because I’d think when the words do And nothing will become something

Isn’t lovely All alone Heart made of glass my mind of stone Tear me to pieces skin and bone

All alone Ripping myself apart at the seams I Tear me to pieces skin and bone Grinning as rubies spill from my flesh

Ripping myself apart at the seams Caught in this cycle of self destruction Grinning as rubies spill from my flesh A small solace for the pain in my chest

Caught in this cycle of self destruction Smashing every mirror every photo A small solace for the pain in my chest That kills me in the shower

Smashing every mirror every photo All of the cruel reminders That kill me in the shower Making it hard to believe I'm worth the very air I breath

Tw: eating disorders

Get into character Put on a pretty smile Fix your clothes Its time to start the show

Put on a pretty smile Its okay they wont know It time to start the show Just hold it in a little longer

Its okay they wont know Youre seconds away from throwing up Just hold it in a little longer Come on you're fine

Youre seconds away from throwing up From the very little food you ate But its okay you're fine Hopefully you"ll be pretty before you die

I can’t stand you She yells And I please I can’t love you anymore

I don’t wanna see you She yells Walking these halls I can’t you love you anymore

I don’t wanna see you Cuz my heart sinks Walking these halls Betraying the hopeless romantic

With my heart on my sleeve Cuz my heart sinks I’ll bury it Betraying the hopeless romantic

With my heart on my sleeve I’ll find all our photos I’ll bury it Cuz it’s easier than to

Talk to you I’ll find all our photos And relive the laughs Cuz it’s easier than to

Talk to you Was it worth it And relive the laughs I’ll cut off the heart

I miss you too Was it worth To cut you out I’ll cut off the heart

He walked away, her heart in tow, She never knew his worth till now. Regret's sharp sting, a bitter blow, She yearns for one more chance, somehow.

She never knew his worth till now, His absence, a relentless ache. She yearns for one more chance, somehow, To right the wrong, to change their fate.

His absence, a relentless ache, She took for granted his undoubted love. To right the wrong, to change their fate, She prays for signs from stars above.

She took for granted his undoubted love, Regret's sharp sting, a bitter blow. She prays for signs from stars above, He walked away, her heart in tow.