He hasn’t left me yet,

But in time he will.

He’ll get tired of my insecurities, my flaws, my constant mistakes and it will be all my fault.

It’s always all my fault.

I’m too sensitive, I’m crazy, I overthink and I’m the neglectful one.

My head aches. The voices screaming at me all the different possibilities that this is not going to work that I’m the one getting hurt that I’m the one being lied...

They May Not Know Now, But it’s Going to Happen

I’m just a wishing well

They hope i’m okay

But at the end of the day

I’m under a spell

“You’re in my thoughts

Prayers too”

Give me a shot

One I haven’t blew

I fucked this all up

Self sabotage

Please camouflage

All my scars...

Life might seem hard from day to day

And yet…

The sun still rises every morn

Hope awakens when a child is born

Friends tell us we are not forlorn

Locks come back when our hair is shorn

Stars and moon shine every night

Fear and dread vanish from sight

When we pray to God about our plight

Even if all is not set right.

There are times when we are lost and alone

And yet…

When we look we see a friend

...

**_

_**_Your lies drew me in. _

_Your lies covered up your sins._

_Your lies hid your many addictions._

_Your charm hid all your your harm. _

_You appeared so innocent & sweet, to everyone you first meet._

_They’re still so naive, they __just don’t know you yet. Give them ___

__

_Time & they’ll see ,the monster that I see._

__

__

_Behind closed doors you were;_

_So Much More-Anger & Rage._

_So Mu...

My heart beats heavily,

Rapidly,

Within the cage of my chest.

Rasping,

My breath holds me.

I feel as though I could combust,

Into a million little stars.

I am standing still on the ledge,

Of the universe,

I am begging and pleading,

I see everything ahead of me,

So clearly now.

The outlines are crisp,

Filling in the blank spots that once were.

My body is tense-- it aches for the release,

Into...

It’s nice weather outside.

And yes, maybe I’m drowning.

Maybe I’m screaming out to the world,

My cries silent on my lips.

Maybe I’m falling down, down, down,

Further than I’ve ever been.

And yes, maybe I am _dying_.

Maybe that broken piece I’ve always put duct tape on is finally starting to shatter.

Maybe my whole world is falling apart.

Maybe I don’t even know what it is to be okay.

And yes, m...

No matter how far time goes to stretch beyond our existence in this life And begins to pour onto an endless beginning into the next,

this has gone on for all eternity’s either of us has graced the others to play on

Yet we still choose to typhoon and twist with another tossing and touching into every single one-

And we have yet another chance to make yet another one part of our endless endeavor...

a few months ago

I wished for love

but then I let go.

and just wished for a dove.

she was real kind.

and she was sweet.

she was kind?

sweet?

what do those words mean?

there she lays, foreseen.

as I wish I could be.

but she, is not me.

how lucky she may be.

there I sit, again waiting for love.

I haven't found it, why?

I search, but find hate.

why?

why must I always find the opposite?

do they...

I say,”I love you”,

Yet you dont care.

I say, “I need you”,

Yet, you turn a blind eye.

I say, “I care”,

Yet, you walk away.

You tell me, “I need you”,

Yet, I turn a blind eye.

You say, “I care”,

Yet, I walk away.

You say “I love you”,

Yet, I don’t care.

…

🫀...

I look back. It’s cold day. I’m hiding in the library. He walks in, there’s a little hello between us before he goes to check in his books and search out a new one. He sits opposite me.

He doesn’t love me. Yet.

I don’t love him. Yet.

It’s cosy, he brought me coffee. We read together for around an hour, occasionally the other asking what things mean or sharing bits we like.

His hand brushed aga...