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I never thought my first lay would be a goat, but that’s exactly what it was.

I had just moved to a new college and I was desperately trying to fit in. Nobody wants to be a loner. I was 19 and eager to impress anyone and everyone. I did what any sensible young man would do in my situation; join a fraternity.

I should have realized when I joined that this fraternity would be heavy on the goat stuff. They didn’t follow typical fraternity names. They were called the Gamma Omega Alpha Tango House, aka The Goat House.

I’d over heard people talking about how crazy of a fraternity The Goat House was. I thought it was an acronym for greatest of all time. Which, in a sick sense it was.

I made contact with one of the fraternity brothers at a bar. His name was Mikey. Mikey invited me to play a few games of pool and I graciously accepted. After the third game he started talking to me about The Goat House. He decided I was chill enough and offered for me to attend an initiation ceremony tomorrow night. There was no way in hell I was going to pass up this opportunity.

I arrived at The Goat House at a quarter to eight. I spotted a few other pledges. They were all shirtless and wearing goat horns, brown fur pants, and hooves as shoes.

Mikey came up to me and thrusted the attire into my arms.

“Get dressed, you’re a pledge now,” Mikey says as he pushes me away.

I start heading for the bathroom before Mikey calls out to me.

“Where are you going, get dressed right here.”

My shyness starts to kick in. Getting undressed in front of all of these strangers? I don’t know if I can do it. But in an effort to fit in and belong, I do as I’m told.

After I’m dressed, I fall in line with the other pledges. We wait a little while for the remaining pledges to show and then we get started.

“Welcome to The Goat House, pledges. I am Mikey and if you are lucky enough, you can join our fraternity and become a full-fledged brother.”

I started to get nervous and when I get nervous my ears turn red hot. Luckily, these horns covered them.

“All right let us get started. Who here is a virgin?”

I foolishly raise my hand. A roar of laughter erupts throughout the room followed by some oohs and ahs. I look around and I’m the only one who has got their hand raised.

“Okay Virgin looks like you’re the lucky one. We can’t have any virgins in our fraternity so you’re gonna have to lose it. The bad news is, is that you’re gonna have to lose it in front of all of us.”

One of the other pledges raises his hand, “Uh I’m actually a virgin too, I was just too scared to raise my hand.”

“Too bad, get the hell out. We don’t like cowards here,” said Mikey.

He started to protest but then Mikey called for him to be removed. Two big guys wearing black hooded robes with a red goat skull on the back removed him from the house.

“Cassidy please come out here,” said Mikey.

A woman came out wearing nothing but the goat robe. It was slightly opened so you could see her bare breasts. They were magnificent. I have never seen boobs in person before.

“Looking good Cass, now could you please bring out Misty for me,” said Mikey.

Cassidy turned around and walked down a hall. She had the biggest bubble butt I’ve ever seen. I think I might nut just from the sight of her. I must say I am nervous about having to perform in front of all these people.

Cassidy comes back from the down the hall holding a leash in her hand. Behind her is a goat.

“Virgin, meet Misty, she’s gonna take your virginity.”

My jaw dropped, there was no way I was going to have sex with a goat. I now understand why it’s called The Goat House.

“Drop the pants Virgin, let’s see what you’re working with.”

I can’t do this. But I have to, I need to belong. I need to fit in. I start unbuckling my pants. They fall to the ground and I step out of my underwear.

“Cass, please turn Misty around. You two pledges come here and hold her steady.”

At least it’s a female goat I think to myself.

Cassidy turns Misty around and the pledges take hold of her.

“Cass, you may leave now, thank you. We don’t want this pledge looking at anything other than the goat.”

I take a deep breath and step forward. I think of Cassidy. I grab the goat by the horns, and I insert myself into her. I think I’m going to be sick. The goat screams and screams. The sound was piercing my ears. I think again of Cassidy’s sweet ass and I bust almost immediately.

There was a stunned silence.

“Holy shit, we didn’t think you would actually go through with it. We always let it go on as far as the pledge will take it. You are the first pledge in the history of The Goat House to fuck a goat,” says Mikey.

I feel my entire face go red. If the embarrassment doesn’t kill me first, then I plan on killing myself.

“Well, you fucked a goat and you’re no longer a virgin. Congratulations. We are not done yet though. You’re gonna have to sacrifice the goat to Satan now,” said Mikey.

Oh goddammit, what the fuck is going on.

I can do that, yeah, I just fucked a goat, killing it will be easy. These people are strangely passive about me just having fucked a goat. I guess they’ve seen some pretty crazy stuff, but I don’t know what would top fornicating with a goat.

I guess the goat doesn’t have to worry about being pregnant since she’s about to be sacrificed to Satan.

The crowd files outside and Mikey orders a pledge to bring the defiled goat to the altar out back. Mikey goes down the hall and then returns with a ceremonial dagger.

“Alright Goat Fucker, that’s your new name by the way. You’re gonna pray to Satan and then you’re going to slit the goat’s neck under the ceremonious bowl. You will then drink the blood to harness the goat’s power.”

Mikey hands me the dagger and we proceed outside. I make my way through the crowd and to the altar where Misty is tied up. I can’t believe I’ve done this entire thing sober.

I kneel down at the alter and I pray to Satan.

‘Dear Satan, I don’t really know what to say. I’m sure I will meet you in Hell once I die, since I just fucked a goat in front of two dozen people. Also praying to you probably won’t sit to well with the big man upstairs. Um, please accept this defiled goat as gesture of goodwill. Amen, I think.’

I stand up and I grab the goat by her horns once again with my left hand. In my right hand I ready the dagger against her throat. Her beautiful, soft, sexy throat. I look into the goat’s eyes. Oh fuck, I think I’ve fallen in love with the goat. She was my first lay after all and the first time is always special.

No, I have to do this. I can’t marry this goat and run away to Guatemala. You have responsibilities here at school. I will miss you Misty. My sweet, beautiful queen.

I take the dagger and with a tear in my eye, I open her neck. She lets out a heartbreaking cry and dies. A little part of me dies with her.

Balls to the wall, I guess. I lift the ceremonious bowl and chug, the warm thick blood coursing down my throat. I can feel the power and the love of Misty entering my stomach.

“Holy shit, you did that too. You are one crazy son of a bitch,” says Mikey.

Everyone is looking at me with shock and opened mouths. I am definitely going to have to kill myself after this.

“All hail the GOAT of The Goat House!” declares Mikey.

Everyone screamed and applauded as they lifted me up in the air. They began chanting GOAT repeatedly.

I did it. I fit in. I finally belong somewhere.

It’s my first day as a junior in high school at my new school and my first day of tryouts for the volleyball team. I moved to this school because I was bullied I’m really shy. I’ve tried out every year and never made the team at my old school. The coach told me it’s because I don’t play year round like most of the girls so I’m not that good and I’m not as tall as them. I’m pretty sure it’s because they didn’t like me. I love playing and I have a good feeling about this year, new school, new me, equals a fresh start.

We start warm ups, stretching and running, I feel good I’m ready to play. Tryouts start I set the ball perfectly, my serves are on point, and my spikes...powerful. I got this I’m going to make the team this year. After tryouts a tall beautiful strawberry blonde walks over to me and says “Hey I’m Sam I’m the head captain. You did pretty good today, some of the new girls are coming to my house tonight you should come. It’s a tradition for all the newbies to be introduced to the varsity team before we decide who makes the team.” A party or get together sounds fun, I don’t have any friends here so why not. Maybe it will help me make the team. “Sure I’ll come tonight”

I arrive to Sams house and the varsity girls and newbies are there. Sam welcomes us all and says there is a test we have to pass in order to join the team. The first test she asks us to take a shot of liquor. I’ve never drank before but I don’t want to look stupid if I don’t do it. One freshman girl said she wouldn’t do it so Sam signaled to another tall varsity girl and she took the freshman to a different room. It was my turn to drink and it smelled a little weird and had a unusual green color. I plug my nose and drink it. It tasted horrible, like chemicals.

I feel a little dizzy but I’m not going to chicken out. Next Sam says “Your test is now to cut your wrist and drain your blood in this cup. The varsity team will drink it and this will make us close and become one, like sisters.” Ew that’s a little gross and weird but I’m determined to be apart of this team. I take this decorative dagger with interesting writing on it. It kind of looks like Viking lettering. I cut my wrist and begin draining my blood and boy did that hurt. Two more girls back out and they get taken away to that same room. Sam and the team drink up the blood and they have such a weird enjoyment out of it.

Sam says the last and final phase we have to get naked and dance in her backyard. I don’t know how I feel about all this. I don’t have that great of a body and things are getting weirder and weirder. Then I hear a scream from the room the girls were being taken to and before I can ask about it Sam calmly says she has a bird that sometimes like to scream to get attention. Odd, but I’ve seen videos of birds doing that. I take a deep breath and take my clothes off because playing on a volleyball team has always been my goal and dreams.

As I’m stepping out on the back porch to start my little dance. I see a tall maybe beastly thing, whatever it is it’s scary. I remember reading about a demonic beast called Jötunn, and it looks just like it giant deer body with a headless human for a head and massive antlers. I try to run away and scream but I can’t move it’s like I’m paralyzed. Maybe it’s the drink that’s not allowing me to move. The Jötunn slowly stalks towards me and bends down so the headless body hand touches my naked body. I begin to feel a burning sensation on my thigh and a brand of Viking like writing appears.

All the fear that I felt and the paralyzing sensation just disappears and is replaced with this need for blood. It feels like the Jötunn is speaking to me, telling me to kill. Then I see it all the girls that backed out of the test. Tied and gaged like a beautiful Christmas present just for me. Sam places a hand on my new brand and says “Do what calls. Kill them and bath in there mouthwatering blood.” She hands me that same decorative dagger and I begin slicing and dicing in there exquisite skin. It’s a master piece that Michelangelo would be proud of. Sam stands in the distance smiling like a proud parent and mouths you made it to the team. I did it I made the team and most of all I have sisters now. I feel whole or is it full from this delicious flesh and blood.

I wanted to fit in, but I never thought it would lead to this. The games they started to play were getting far too dangerous for me. To be honest, I don’t believe the sorority would be worth the torture, but now I see the joy in it.

It started mild enough a game of chicken the last to move out of the way of the car on the highway was safe. I managed to pass this little initiation task, but a girl called Lisa was not as lucky.

And then there was six.

Next, they moved on to having us jump into the pool at the house. Sounds pretty standard right until you realize we were jumping from the roof. Two girls missed and hit the concrete; the girls said they would be fine, but I am not sure no one even called for help.

And then there was four.

After the pool, we moved into the house to play a game. We all had to drink different liquids that the other girls poured for us. I must have got lucky because Jessie was foaming from the mouth at the end.

My heart raced as I watched her twitch on the floor. Never before had I seen anything like this. They had poisoned her. No one moved to call for help, and I was too scared to even move.

And then there was three.

The last game involved a knife. I could hear the other girls running through the house. Their feet were loud; I knew I could not let them win because it meant I would lose my life.

The sound of footsteps stopped, and that was when I heard the blood-curdling scream. Lee must have caught mya.

I covered my ears, waiting for the screaming to stop. When it did, I gripped the knife in my right hand tighter and held my breath.

When she turned the corner, she was not ready as I drove the knife into her neck. She didn’t even have time to scream as she fell to the floor.

And then there was one.

It has been for years since that fateful night. I have to say I am thankful for my sisters. If it weren’t for them, I never would have come to realize my true calling. The killing is good; it’s the only way. So I only have one question for you: would you like to join us?

“Fearless. Powerful. Dauntless.” With a motto like this, it gave fair warning to any logical person that this evening’s activities wouldn’t be a standard “Welcome to University” night out. No, not for the Dauntless Society. You’ve all heard of them; they’re in every college, some more hidden than others. In Galway, the Dauntless Society are a brand in their own right. They are the original secret society, hidden in plain sight under Galway University’s “Official Society” status. Anyone can join them, and get weekly emails about swimming in the sea and potlucks. However, a handful of new members are invited to their Inception Night, held on the Wednesday of Fresher’s Week. Inception Night is infamous across Ireland, not only for its increasingly demanding tasks, but also for the anonymity of the group. They have never been sighted, the only trace of the night they leave behind is the chaos they have forged. Invitations to this exclusive event are rare, but for anyone who can decode their invitation message, there’s nothing to stop you from tagging along. Mike worked out the code two days beforehand, and coolly walked up to the “committee members” at the Societies Fair about 12 hours ago. It was very simple, really; when joining a society, you give your name, student ID number, and your phone number. Instead of your true number, you write down “Dauntless” as if writing it on a keypad. Mike confidently signed up, writing 328685377, his golden ticket to popularity. Little did he know he would be lead to the edge of a roof at 2am in the morning. Mike spent the rest of his afternoon after the Fair preparing himself for Inception. The secret flyer gave simple instructions; “The Graduation Cap. 10pm. Bring a mask”. The Graduation Cap was a famous statue in Galway University, symbolising the abolishment of capping someone’s education. To the Dauntless Society, it symbolised abolishing the capping of personal freedoms, something announced with great vigour by their leader, Dali. Of course, Dali wasn’t his real name; identity protection is a priority, and all members take the name of a famous painter as part of their induction. Dali was powerful; all the confidence of a dictator with the charm of a president. He was loved and feared in equal measure, his mask hiding his lips but his steel blue eyes pierced through the night. He gestured around to his “Brothers and Sisters”, as he called them. 9 in total. “We are a family, and family protects each other”, he rounded off his speech. Mike couldn’t help but feel this was an order of secrecy, a family you would never truly know, and yet would die for. This was what Mike reflected on while standing on the roof of the university library at 4am. The cajoles of the Family echoed through the night as each Brother and Sister took it in turns to leap from the roof of the library to the Concourse building, celebrating another successful Inception Night with bags of chips and tubs of ice cream. Surprisingly, alcohol wasn’t favoured by the Dauntless; it “clouded the judgement necessary to calculate your odds of dying during a Task”. So far Dauntless were proving you didn’t need alcohol to make rash decisions. From leaping into the ocean for a midnight swim to climbing up the ferris wheel for a better view of the moon, the Dauntless Family cruised around Galway two-per-bike, endlessly searching for new opportunities to create chaos. A particular favourite of Mike’s was Rembrandt jumping down the roof hatch of the casino in Salthill to steal baskets of casino chips. These will be cashed in over the next few weeks, channelling the money into the vault of cash for the Family to spend.

The wind carried voices and laughter back to Mike, who was now the last Brother on the library. Matisse had given up at the ferris wheel, and van Gogh had already jumped across to be with her new Family. Mike (now Degas) was edging closer and closer away from the edge, breathing in the deep scent of the night. Mike stared at the precipice separating him from his new Family, and inhaling their cheers deeply, ran across the loose stones before throwing his soul into the night sky. While in flight, he felt a deep silence transcend, drowning out those waiting for him on the other side of paradise, and in that moment, Degas found his Family.

I've come to work early today All my friends come out suprised Welcome to work, yay What have you got to hide?

Please let me in on it I've done all my fair share Just let me have a peek What are you doing back there?

Lunch breaks over, so they say, Time for me to prep the sink But They've been missing all day Coming back for a refilled drink

Please let me in on it I've done all my fair share Just let me have a peek I know I'm not scared

The noon rush is over now In this topsy turvy place Where is the mouse and where is the cow? I'm afraid to show my face

Please let me take part in it Time to clock out of here Just let me have a lick The blood tastes like beer

Blood, scattered everywhere No one is serving the store Wait, I know that head of hair Customers knocking on the door

I'm leaving work late today My friends all have bloodshot eyes Welcome to Restaurant What have you got to hide?

Growing up, Blake did everything she could to fit in. She’s now in college and nothing has changed. The first two weeks were rough, but she found a group to stick with during her third week on the university campus. The only way the group would take her in would be if she dyed her hair black, so Blake followed suit. After classes, Blake would hang out with the other girls that were free. She barely studied because she noticed none of the other girls studied. When she confronted Emily, the groups leader, about needing time away from the group activities to study, Emily laughed and started to belittle her. Holding tears back, Blake zoned out. She interrupted Emily, “fine. I’ll do whatever you want if you’ll give me time to study.” Emily had a mischievous smile on her lips. What crossed her mind was nothing close to what was on Blake’s mind. “The tunnels. Tomorrow at 9. Don’t be late.” Emily sprang up and walked away with a pep in her step. The next day, Blake arrives to the tunnels around 8:45. No one is there. She scopes the area and realizes how creepy the tunnels are at night. She turns on her phone flashlight and begins to go into the main entrance. She smells sewage and hears dripping water and people struggling. Blake continues until she sees a young woman. Her hands and feet are tied with zip ties and her mouth is covered with duck tape. Emily and some of the other girls from the group emerge from the shadows. Blake tries to leave but the other girls are blocking the exit. “Hello Blake,” Emily said as she inched closer. “You said you would do anything to get your study time.” She was in Blake’s personal space now. Emily handed her a kitchen knife, and Blake’s breathing got heavier. “Kill her.” Tears started rolling down Blake’s cheek. She knew what she had to do. Blake approached the young girl who was also crying. Blake apologized to her and stabbed her in the neck. Something overcame her and suddenly she had no remorse. She wasn’t sorry. And she wanted to do it again. “Good girl,” said Emily. Blake turned around slowly with a smile on her face and the girl slowly bled out to death. Blake stood up and went after one of the girls behind Emily. She stabbed her in the neck too. A second of shock passed over Emily before she started stabbing the girls with Blake. After the last girl died, Emily and Blake locked eyes. They kissed each other passionately before heading out of the tunnels to kill more.

“There’s too many scavengers in this sector.” The Demonstrator announced to a regiment of new scavengers; full of misfits and criminals. A Demonstrator is a veteran scavenger who had earned enough and lived long enough to be worthy of teaching his ways to the less experienced.

“Unfortunately, some of you must die. Mostly the weak and feeble. The slow and the dumb. Pass the test and you will be initiated into our system. Fail, and you will be die. Any who refuse will die.” He taps his bracelet like a ticking bomb. “There is no option but to participate.” He says firmly as he paces along the hangar.

They call me “Bread Boy”. Infamously sent to The Lower for stealing bread by accident. I’ve grown a bit now. They keep children mostly inside to do menial tasks purposefully for children. The upkeep is less and so when the children come of age. That is when they decide that the food would need to be earned.

I’ve heard many older men speak about this rare but seemingly legal and ordinary night. They say it’s keeping the population leaner but it’s as awful as it sounds. They call it ‘incapacitate night’. Usually at night when the old mares and shadows stalk the Junkland.

“A quick elimination round will start us off.” He pauses. The man next to me bows his head and starts to cry. A Demonstrator from the back comes up to him and tasers him. He falls to the ground and becomes silent. Everyone else faces forward in fear. “You will be released into the Junkland. You must find any of the items on this lists provided.” He raises up a sheet of paper. A list of items that the town needs. Supplies and repair equipment.

“Returning empty-handed will be your death so do not disappoint.”

I check my flashlight and the item list. My heart is racing. I hope I can find something quickly and nearby. At least before the others. A horn blasts and the hangar doors raise. A line of Demonstrators with tasers keep the block of scavengers moving. I rush out but making sure I’m not too forward or too behind. There’s a shrill of a mare in the distance. Haunting. Daunting and relentless. I am shivering with fear and excitement. This is my first excursion out of the town. And it may be my last...

At first glance I saw a tiger. No, no way I thought, I’m so drunk I have no idea what I’m looking at. This is crazy and I’m completely hammered. I had hoped and dreamed of joining the Phi Betas since I was a kid and we would drive by their sorority house. I would see all the pretty girls lined up outside drinking from sparkly cups and laughing uncontrollably. I wanted to be part of that. My dad was a professor at the university so he would let me tag along at work and my favorite part was the drive through sorority lane. All the Greek letters displayed handsomely, the rose bushes separating the houses so beautifully manicured, the loud music blasting from the windows. It was a dream. Now, on my eighteenth birthday I sat on a plastic couch covered in some kind of animal feces, waiting for the senior girls to finally let me in. I could hear them whispering in the room next door. I was only allowed to sit in one position until they came back, this position started to hurt my back, but I didn’t dare move. They knew if one hair on my head was brushed out of the way. They knew everything. I heard the growl again. WTF? Was I hearing things too? All of sudden the rooms pink curtains turned to fire and I heard a hissing sound behind me. I jumped up and yelped, only to realize it was gone in a split second. I jumped back into my seated position and waited, praying they didn’t hear my weak attempt at screaming. What is wrong with me? What did they give me? I thought it tasted funny but having not been a big drinker I figured my taste buds weren’t used to the bitterness of alcohol. One girl, Amanda, came out with a steel look on her face and checked on me, then turned around and left. I breathed deeply. This is worth it, this is worth it, this is worth it. C’mon Laura, everyone goes through this. You’re not the only one, these are going to be your sisters! I am finally going to be a part of something bigger than me, even if do have shit rolling down my knees. I heard laughter and clinging of glasses. Oh wow, this was it. I think they made a decision. All of sudden the sound of clack-clacking heels stormed through the hallway. They were coming! Ivette, the leader, stood in front of me and slapped me so hard my eyes went blurry. I didn’t move. I was in too much shock. Silence. No one moved. Were they just as shocked as I was? Nope. All of them had shit eating grins on their faces. I immediately knew this was a bad idea and my night was about to get far worse. The growl began thundering in my ears. I started shaking. I couldn’t hear them all laughing at me, but I could feel the vibrations of their laughter through my body. What was happening? Ivette finally spoke, “You actually thought we would let you in. After what your father did to us?” “What...” was all I could muster to say. Silence. The room got heavy with anticipation and growing anger...towards me. Each girl slowly pulled up their sleeves to reveal what looked like scratch marks, no, not just any scratch marks, intentionally placed scratch marks. The markings looked like symbols. Some of the girls let tears ruin their mascara, others stared at me with so much hatred I had to look away. “I don’t understand...” I begged. “You’re daddy is a sick fuck and he’s finally going to pay for what he did to us, What he’s done to all of us. And you’re just the right prize pig to slaughter.” “Now HE’LL know what it feels like!” Yelled one girl in the back. My head was reeling. I still didn’t know what was happening to me or around me. Tears streamed down my face as the growling began to overwhelm my ears. “Have fun tonight.” Ivette hissed at me. She picked me up and threw me out of the doorway. A loud blast of music came jumping at me and a car load of what looked like humans grabbed me and started dragging me to a giant car/boat/spaceship looking thing. I couldn’t scream, my mouth weighed a ton and my tongue was swelling up. All the pretty girls lined up, perfectly in order by seniority. All dressed up with sparkly cups in hand. Ivette walked over to me before the car door slammed close with tears in her eyes, “It’s not over. It will never be over, but this is a start.” “I....didn’t.....III...” I sluggishly got out. “We didn’t deserve it either.” The car door slammed, the music blasted into my head and off into then tube of darkness I went. Never to come out of it again.

I’ve always been on the outskirts. Never caring for approval but when you meet someone you sometimes get carried along with how they are...that’s how it started. An initiation night apparently. A lot of fun they said. Harmless was the word they used. At first it was tiny things, fun things. Hiding stuff from people who lived nearby. I could do that. They’d find it again eventually anyway. Then they talked about setting traps... traps? Rocks hidden in the grass to trip people up ... branches precariously balanced that would fall on heads of those walking beneath. I didn’t like that, but I did it, making plans to come back later and make everything okay again. Then we climbed through the branches to the top of a tall tree. Fly they said. Fly and then you will be one of us. Easy, I thought. Then they tore off my wings and pushed me...that’s the last time I date a goblin...

Little did they know but they were dealing with a survivor of abuse. In my childhood, I was physically and mentally abused by my crack-head mother and sexually abused by a string of worthless pieces of humanity, otherwise known as my mother’s boyfriends. I’ve endured hunger, cold, sleep deprivation, you name it. And I’ve done what I could to survive. If that meant walking the streets looking for garbage to eat, then that’s what I did. If it meant cutting my arms just to get some relief, that’s what I did too. I have a high tolerance to physical and mental pain. I’d practically seen it all and done most of it by my tenth birthday! These initiations, they were child’s play! ‘Bring it on!’ is what I thought as they force-fed me cockroaches and held me face down in a bowl of vomit. ‘You can do better than this!’ I thought as they stripped me naked and made me stand outside in the cold snow for half an hour. These girls from their privileged homes were pathetic. Their snobbery was like watching a comedy unfold before my eyes. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from laughing. And what would these ever-so-pretty girls become? Soccer moms? Yacht club secretaries? Hollywood wives? Hostesses with the most cringeworthy canapés you could consume, being ever-so-careful they didn’t get a bit of food stuck to their designer teeth? Yeah, I am using them. I have plans. This university is part of my plans. This sorority will be helpful to mention when I am studying for my bar exam. Then, when I pass with flying colours, I will finally be able to track down those bastards who raped me and lock them away for the rest of their sad lives. May they rot in hell.