Writing Prompt

Mrs Carson always was my favorite math teacher, She was kind, yet ferocious. You couldn’t miss a lesson. So when the stabbing pain began, I sat strong at my desk. My ribs curled over the spike being driven in my side. I slammed my fist into the desk, taking a deep breath in. Just the one class, that’s all I needed to make it through. My eyes didn’t wander from the board but my mind yelped, The equations tip toeing around the constant feeling of nausea. Finally we saw it was time to go, I hobbled as fast as I could. Stepping out of our temporary card board trailer, I fled down the metal walk way. My mind fell blank to be greeted by a nurse in the ER. Kidney stones lay stuck in my side. No sign of when they’d be out. All I had to rely on were prescription pain killers, the light kind. They turned the stabs into dull flicks, knives into rubberbands. Then there I was again, in Mrs. Carson’s room, ready for a lesson. Yet the fog, so hazy kept my mind polluted. The numbers fading from thoughts entirely. There was no fighting this, the drug ran deep in my veins. More than a week had passed before I was free, Broken up into dust, the stones had left. Back in that cardboard trailer my mind was finally clear, Only still, a week behind in all my fields.

self hatred driven to insanity. scars & burns on the outside, a humourous comparison to the damage on the inside. institutions & psychiatric holds, do nothing to help my troubled mind. all ive ever needed is something i cannot find. discouraged, delusional & psychotic... possessed by darkness all around. no one ever cared enough to show me the light. i was not worthy. this exigent perception grew into disbelief. love was not real & even if it were, it was not meant for me. maybe im meant to suffer, for reasons unclear at the present time. maybe im a terrible person & just too heedless to be defined. ive caused heartache to the people that love me the most; contradictory: the same people who have never given me the compassion or support that i so desperately need. why spill your beans when you cant clean them up?
why have a relationship with the enemy? who are my enemies? who are my friends?
im alone now. tangled up with the realization that, my biggest enemy lives inside of me.

It’s only for a short time and I’ll be home again soon.

My ear drum has been stabbed, I have fourty five minutes to leave, I hate waking up when it’s dark, Five more minutes, I can’t lay back down, Why do I do this to myself.

It’s only for a short time and I’ll be home again soon.

Where’s my watch? That Cold shower was awful but would’ve impressed any CEO, Shame I wouldn’t tell them that it was because the boiler is on the blink, Do I have time to finish my coffee, I think that’s everything, Better say goodbye but I’ll try not to wake her.

It’s only for a short time and I’ll be home again soon.

The platform feels lonelier than usual, I should’ve warn my big coat, That squashed, battered football brings back memories, Curby between platforms would be brilliant, 06:03, Why is it okay for them to have a delayed start the day?

It’s only for a short time and I’ll be home again soon.

These seats are filthy, I think. Yep. That’s chewing gum on my wheels. The lights are so bright it feels like a police interview, Growing up is a con, That coffee hasn’t made a difference, It could be worse mind you, Time to repeatedly check my email, calendar and booking confirmations.

It’s only for a short time and I’ll be home again soon.

A nomadic heart, From home depart, Long steps to clear my head.

From smooth paved street To dirt ‘neath my feet With no direction I mindlessly tread.

An unmarked line Free of city’s whine A calming peace envelops me.

Between the hills A cool wind chills Leaves rustling on a lonely tree.

A long dirt trail Break free from jail Of clouded daily perspective.

A gentle breeze Puts minds at ease Anxious thoughts ineffective.

Until at last Day gone too fast To the world I must return

A fleeting joy For this troubled boy My next escape I already yearn

My hands grow weak as quickly as they grow For every snap, clap, claw, and grasp I’ve yet to hold all there is to know Gently yet boldly will I still clasp For tomorrow there is to go Onward still, much to sow

In the lands of the hunchbacked granite giants that have risen from the deep sea. Embarking from the feet a feeling of deep small and youngness has come over me. As I enter the base the giant firs with bark so fierce the Douglas firs are as hairs on the giants feet. The trail that leads to to the top like veins guiding as the canopy steals the light.

My friends are like my rope And I am the climber My only source of life Surrounded by a void

If the rope snaps and falls So does the climber Both of them falling With no good resolution

But

If the climber loses their grip And falls The rope will stay Slightly strained But positioned As if in honor of the fallen climber

So if I fall Please stay In honor of me

A serpent laid his body upon a branch that came from a tree. It was full of fruits that weren’t touched by the people. “The snake bit one,” as I said for I was the one who crumbled under the venom. It took a hold of me like a blooming bud without passion, love, or knowledge of what had taken control of me. Though only mission I had to do know. Was to eat the fruit I shouldn’t touch for it wasnt a good burden to bare. I went to the tree pulling of an apple that represented my mind and took a bite. The tree wilted and rotted away and so did mine in a deep depression leaving 2 ripe apples on wilted vines. Then I took a bite of the next apple that was the representation of my body. As I took a bite the tree wilted even more to the point it couldn’t stand and I started to feel gross of myself and the things I have done… So, there was one last apple and I took a bite out of the last one. The apple now represented my heart which as I took a bite my heart turned dark and so did the land and people before it. I started to feel like my family would judge me and I judged myself for doing something that they never knew of. All I could do is weep to God, day and night under a wilted tree over my wilted mind, heart, and body. Then I saw a drop of blood fall upon the tree and the tree sprung alive without leaves but still life. Which I was shocked of. “Has God answered my prayers,” I cried… the serpent hissed and spitted hatred upon the blood that spilled over the tree, as the blood poured all over my mind, heart and body. I felt the blood cleanse my veins from the poison that had held me down in temptation and fear. I felt my soul lift up and I stood below the newly formed tree, even prettier then it was before. Even though the snake is gone. Temptation is still going to linger even cracks fill with anything that spills over them* But even through it all Jesus cleansed my soul…

Where it began is not where it started It began with water The same when it started That was carried Then came losing myself To bring you The ending of our journey It ended with blood And then air and a cry

get off me I yawned as a charade

get off me air felt like ambrosia

get off me I was dionysus

get off me cast from godhood

get off me I seized my yawn

get off me breathless I fled

get off me I entered a space of familiarity

get off me I lay, yearning for relief

get off me but I did not ascend

get off me what once brought comfort, brought peril

get off me rest akin to death

get off me so i lay

bruh screw this— I’m taking my inhaler