Smiles and laughter,

Banter in the air,

All while I sit here;

I am a ghost, a wallflower.

Not a single mouth speaks to me,

Not a single eye looks by,

I feel like I’m enclosed in a room,

Isolated inside.

Rotting in boredom,

Tuning in to talks,

My brain urging to join them,

Yet my body is a statue of anxiety.

Oh, to learn how to be like them,

To break from the confines,

_But how does a wallflower...

I go through these phases where I feel completely distant from everyone around me

I feel drained with any interaction

I feel

Small

I don’t know what to make of this

How to stop this from happening

It just feels like a part of me now

Like this is just meant to happen

But

Why?

The moon has its own phases too

It becomes full and everyone stops in their

tracks to ...

I’m sitting in this car

burning eyes tracking

The skinny girls

with their shiny legs

and shinier smiles

I stare

with eyebrows messier

than the blood pooling

beneath the skin of my knees

purple, yellow, green

hanging onto their conversations

by the skin of my teeth

They let me in

a door cracked open

Just far enough that my form

misshapen and awkward

can get through

They let me talk;

Trotting ...

If I were a thought

I would pass you by

Two,

Three,

Four,

Is company

Five

I arrive

And suddenly

a crowd

If I were a sound

I would echo

If you were a cavern

you’d answer back

If a crowd were a room

it’d be empty

If I were a thought

I’d pass you by

why

do you

give...

Words hit my head like they’re muffled by pillows.

I see the same world that you do,

But I’m not here.

I’m

Never

Here.

My friends are making casual conversation.

I probably just seem spacy.

It doesn’t matter,

I’ll be good,

I’ll smile and nod.

Sometimes nobody sees me.

sometimes

nobody

sees

me.

Am I an echo?

Do I bounce back your words like a cavernous wall?

What would it take for me to ...

I must be lonely’s little secret

cause there’s people

all around

trying so hard to keep it

so all my friends

don’t find out

I must be lonely’s forbidden lover

cause I’m known as

the “good friend”

but at night lonely comes over

and we tangle sheets

in my bed...

I reach out,

Pull my hand back.

I’m meant to die like this.

My heart hurts.

I feel empty.

You reach out,

Trying to help me out

Of this.

I can’t take it.

I won’t burden you.

I feel guilty.

Some… no, many people have it worse.

So many people need more help than me.

That breaks my heart.

So I bury it.

Bury it underneath

My smile

No one can help

You ask if I’m better

That pushes me deeper

Can...

I dance alone

In a darkened Corner of the dance floor.

I dance alone

Although, mortals dance about in a energetic soar

I dance alone

Dancer of time and space

I dance alone

Dancing my own pace

I dance alone

Lost in thought

To cease the yesterday of fraught

I dance to forget the “Magic man”

Who shattered my soul

I dance alone

Pondering “Whom the bells toll”

I dance alone

For healing and to d...

“My solitude does not depend on the presence or absence of people; on the contrary, I hate who steals my solitude, without, in exchange, offering me true company.”

╰ ──┉─¡! • !¡─┉── ╯

Mindless chatter, a ceaseless stream,

Hollow words of empty dreams.

False grins, false mirth, yet they question why

I abstain from their discordant, shallow tie.

I dig for substance in their smiles

To make...

No one knows the hurt.

No one knows the pain.

No one knows how it feels…

They’ll tell you they do.

They say they know everything.

They’ll tell you it only gets easier.

But when you’re at the bottom of the ocean,

when the whole world shakes and shivers and darkness closes in…

No one will ever understand.

Strangers, friends, family…

It’s truly all the same.

Hurt, darkness, pain.

It’s truly all i...