Where are you,

Teddy Bear?

I loved you so much

And I still do

But you are gone

Why?!

I try to ask people

But no one has found you

Some people don’t even look

But Mommy tells me

“They didn’t get to see your bear through sparkling eyes like you got to”

You let me hold you

Everywhere

On the twisty slides

In the bumpy car

At my overcrowded home

And through the hot summer days

I wish you stayed...

_Nothing will ever be the same. _

Parked on the side of the high way

Pain pouring from out in streams

Sorrows drowned in bad decisions

Memories buried beneath months of mistakes

_Everything is different now_

__

__

Isolation, a desperate need to hide

How does anyone ever survive this?

This was meant to be forever

Now, there is only a vague remembering__

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_This is for the best _

__

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Healing...

When darkness falls and life fades away,

you are left with spiralling thoughts, misguided dreams,

and hollow promises. In those times,

it's easy to retreat into the safety of your mind,

into the parallel life that was never yours.

For a moment you forget.

As the sun rises, you view the world

through a telescopic lens.

But all you see is the emptiness of the patterns you so desperate...

I’ve never truly known what love meant. I mean I loved my mom and I’m sure that as a little baby my dad made me smile. But Davian is different.

I say it a lot. Maybe too much, but the love of someone who doesn’t have to love you. It’s the greatest kind of love there is. Especially when you love that person back just the same way.

Like all little kids when Mom would bring up kissing or have a s...

***_not a poem._**

Every night, I stumble into our home, lost in my own head.

I eat Chinese food leftovers, _his_, silently at the dimly lit island table. Sometimes I sit, wrapped in a blanket on the couch, instead. But I do the same thing as I eat.

I mourn.

I mourn, and I cry, mascara staining my frail face.

No matter how much I try to shove my thoughts to back of my mind, whether throug...

You must understand,

the moment I heard of your death

my heart fell out of my chest.

It fell to the ground,

and like a tender piece of fruit,

it bruised.

My own two hands

were wiping the globs of tears

rolling down my face,

with a searing hiss

they burned my skin.

Grief was the one

who picked my heart up off the dirt,

and gave it a home.

It held my bruised bloody heart,

like a piece of f...

Memories are a painful thing to remember

Especially ones about you,

I still remember

your laugh and your smile and

The way you made others laugh

too But it was all fake, wasn't it?

So long I waited for your return

Because I believed the lie you told me

That you would be my true friend?

My childhood died when you shattered

My trust when anxiety found a way in

When all I wanted was your...

Loss

My greatest loss

It was my 64 day streak

SIXTY FOUR

SIXTY FOUR DAYS OF HARD WORK

ALL GONE DOWN THE DRAIN

ALL BECAUSE I WANTED TO WATCH TV

:((((((((((

WHY CRUEL WORLD WHYYYYYY...

My sweet baby girl

I miss you very so much

My heart had never known such love

Such joy

But on the opposite side of that coin

My heart had never known such pain

Such brokenness

The day I lost you

Your 5th birthday

The day started so beautifully

I gave you your favorite food

We napped together

I took you on a walk

We played together

I had absolutely no idea

The day would end so badly

I had no idea

H...

With a flutter of the heart,

Comes a leap of the soul,

Comes a mind full of joy,

And a life full of gold.

With a bat of an eye,

Comes a wave or a smile,

Comes a lovely embrace,

Says he’d walk you a mile.

With a long, gentle kiss,

Comes a blooming connection,

Comes a bright, sunny feeling,

Coming in your direction.

With a new opportunity,

Comes the chance to chase,

Comes the shot of a dream,

Far...