I stare up at him from my vantage point on the hard wood floor. He edges around me from time to time muttering “Barkley, just move.” I don’t want to move. I am comfortable. The floor is nice and cool on my belly and the rhythmic hum of the box fan is mesmerizing, hypnotizing. I feel like falling asleep much more than I feel like moving. My eyes grow heavy. And then I am hit by something. Suddenly....

I hear crashing about and cursing. Can’t a guy eat his breakfast in peace.

Walking through to his bedroom, I find my dad.

“Where is my ruddy tie? I’m going to be …” I stop listening, thinking for a moment.

Making my way back to the living room I see his tie sticking out from between the sofa cushions. Next moment I’m nosing his leg. Dad looks down.

“Good boy.” I let him take it as he rush...

I don’t understand hoomans. They say one thing like, “How about we go to the park today, buddy?” And then they walk past you like you’re not even there! Repeating words that don’t make much sense to a dog.

“Damn it! Damn it”. “Knew I shouldn’t have went out with John and Rick last night! Those fools don’t know when to put down a glass!” And then they rush around the room, searching for certain ...

I was sleeping by my human’s feet when she randomly jumped up, kicking me in the process. She only had time for a brief apology before rushing into the bathroom to put her mouth stick in her mouth while sitting on the giant water bowl.

I stretched out, waiting for my usual belly rubs, but she just patted me before hopping into her leg coverings and running out of the room. I hopped down from the...

Buzz, Buzz, Buzz — whatever box that makes that sound should be broken immediately. My human has it set so loud that it haunts my dreams. And today, he's not stopping it. This machine has to be stopped. If he can't do it, I will! Here I go ... aha! If i pull this off of the table....BOOM! Yes, peace and quiet, now for more sleepy time.

Oh no! Why is my human talking like that. Why does everyth...

Vivian stared at her Human as she danced around the room looking for her purse. She wasn’t sure it was dancing as much as tired stumbling. As far as her Human was involved,they both looked the same. There was a triumphant noise.

“Ha!”

The Human must have found the bottomless abyss.

Why she needed to carry so many things other than catnip,

the grey Persian wondered lazily,

I’ll never know.

“Keys!...

I’ve seen plenty of things in my 6 years (human years) but never anything like this morning. I’ve seen things. Weird, weird things through those big, brown puppy dog eyes that get me whatever I want.

I awoke to sunlight heating my back. The sweet, strong perfume of thick, juicy bacon. I rolled over so that the sun warmed my face. My tail thumped on the ground out of happiness. After basking in th...

Dashing around

Lost and found

Keys again

Coffee and then

Leaving the house

Quiet like a church mouse

Hustle and bustle

Return in a fussle

She forgot her lunch

On the counter, a bunch

Bananas and apples

Leaving her messy castle

She forgot me

My treat, you see

I bark and whine

But she hasn’t the time

And again no walk

I wish I could talk

Can’t she take just one day off

To spend some time to goof of...

The Man-Baby was late for something again today.

In his rushed panic to get dressed he not only kicked over my entire bowl of water, but he also slipped on my ducky. Then, he had the audacity to get mad at ME for leaving it lying around.

Maybe he should spend less time staying up all night on the little light up toy of his, and actually go to bed on time. Then perhaps he wouldn’t always be so ...

Stupid Bald Monkey. Gone off without leaving me my food. I’ve teased more intelligent dogs.

Most days Bald Monkey is ok. It feeds me, it keeps the den warm. It leaves the flappy-clatter thing open so I can get in and out. Except sometimes when it has stayed out later than me and come back all wobble-shouty. Then it can’t wake up. Very smelly, farty monkey.

Now I’ll have to go and rub myself over...