I open my eyes, in bed with my wife The sun shining bright I get out of bed, thankful for life Ready to start the day right

I open my eyes, sad and alone Haunted by dreams pre-divorce With heavy heart, I rise with a groan My life filled with remorse

I open my eyes, running late for school Confused by my strange dream. Is some trickster playing me like a fool? Are things actually like they seem?

I open my eyes, in bed with my wife Filled with confusion and surprise I wonder which of these ‘dreams’ is my real life. And do I dare open my eyes?

i’m breaking as you break the glasses on the floor by my feet i’m shaking as you shake my mother’s ashes i’ve fallen to my knees it’s taken everything i’ve lived for to not take everything from you ill just lay in this bed, fear for the next morning with you

i wake up to the sound of rain on the ground i look all around you can’t be found

i get up from our bed the sheets a bloody mess i wonder did you get any rest i wonder if you left

i walk by the room where it happened last night i prepare for a fight but you look confused

you cleaned up the mess the broken pieces on the floor you even made breakfast i’ve never seen this before

i sit next to you at the bed but i start to fall asleep i wake to you wanting me dead i realize it was all a dream

my life is untrue. stirring and writhing. choking and screaming. bruises and cuts. broken plates, bowls, cups. dare i stare at a bright light, shining inside, glistening off my skin. dare i cusp my hands, interlock my fingers. snatch the light and throw it on my face. loudly smiling, i do. smelling the crisp, strong spring air with closed eyes. imagining the sweet floral scent of the flowers hearing the bussing bees, a serene paradise simply escaping the world, one second after minute, after hour only to be flinched and snatched away. punched, slapped, kicked. broken nose, bleeding, swelling. staring at the large dark figure only the man i swore my life away to, months ago glancing at his bloodied wedding ring, the hand that dare punch me but i dare not dodge, for my life depends. i will lay, take it all.

My heart does thump

my skin does burn

When the shadow of a man stands

his presence adjourned

1 second he’s there

10 minutes he’s not

On the nights that the air

is stagnant and hot

Bending ‘round corners

lurking in hallways

These dreams of mine

They’re just a phase

A hint of a attention

I shouldn’t pay

To the being that haunts me before every day

Beep Beep Beep Beep

No!

Not Again!

I need sleep, sleep, SLEEP!

Through slivers I see the hideous yellow.

Through shivers, I feel the cold hard floor.

Beep Beep Beep Beep

No!

Not Again!

I crave rest, rest, REST!

Through nauseating gurgles, I smell the roast beans

Through the antagonizing one-way glass, I see the dead reflection

Beep Beep Beep Beep

No!

Not Again!

I yearn for peace, peace, PEACE!

Through the never-ending ritual, I plead for spontaneity

Through the same old door, I embark toward my insanity

Beep Beep Beep Beep

I woke up bright and early to the sun shining bright, Adjusted my eyes to the harsh morning light. It didn’t seem odd that I could suddenly see, Nor was it strange that you were smiling at me.

We hopped into the old Mustang GT, Took off down south Central with Seether blaring on repeat. Probably The Gift, yes, that was our song, I laughed so hard when you tried to sing along.

We drove for miles and miles, nowhere bound, In love and wild with the windows down. You drove like a madman, but I didn’t care. I buckled up and let the win blow through my hair.

Fingers and twined, hearts beating fast, No fear of the future, no regrets of the past. You were the shining sun, and I was your girl. Like always, it was you and me against the world.

But then your smile faded, and there was a terrible sound. My vision went blurry, and my head began to pound. I awoke once again, to my alarm clock ringing, My eyes could not see, and the birds were not singing.

I was all alone, in an empty bed. Your beautiful face still plastered in my head. I cried out your name, but you didn’t hear. My bittersweet dreams are the only place you’ll ever appear.

But sometimes when I’m lonely, I blast The Gift on repeat, Picture myself shotgun in the passenger seat. And as I sing out the last words of the song, You’re here behind the wheel, still singing along.

Inside me are wounds, wrapped up by scars. Beauty’s skin deep, but my insides rage war. Please forgive me, for eating your blues. Even though the words I scream in hate, are true. You’re so pretty when I cry. But I don’t think you realize. There is no depth left in my soul. I needed your love to make me whole. I wear my heart upon my lips. Kiss me hard, taste my sick. Disease roams freely in my veins; remember me, I am your pain...

-HMG

I can’t see you I can’t hear you I cant feel you So I fear you

Then it emerged. It saved, then splurged. It laughed, then cried. Until finally, the chill died.

I’m falling I start bawling. I hit the ground As my head feels a big pound. Waking up with a jolt I get up and lock the deadbolt. But, I can’t escape The man in the cape, As I turn around There he stands, dressed as a clown. He grabs me roughly And whisper’s gruffly, “You’re still not awake?” As I just shake.