Do you know the feeling of being pitied? Do you know the feeling of being left behind? Do you know the feeling of hearing whispers? Do you know the feeling of searching eyes?

They say they know us They say they hate us They say that we’re weird They say that they wish we died

Sure, I have mental problems And that makes me different But who are you to judge Just because I’m not on the mean?

You don’t know me You don’t know what I go through You don’t know the panic attacks I have You don’t know the things I crave

So go ahead and leave me alone Go ahead and abandon me I’ll watch, no smile on my face Leave if I’m too much for you

Mental Illnesses Physical Illnesses Emotional Illnesses On and on and on

These normal people don’t get it Or maybe they don’t care But the ones who know The ones who actually have them

We know ourselves We know our worth We know who we are We know what we can do

And they can’t stop us Because they’re scared They’re scared because they can’t predict us They don’t know us

They say they know us But we know us And that’s that Bitch

The me I dreamt of becoming is an old friend… The me I’m becoming, I’m less familiar with…

I get so weirdly obsessed over certain things That trap me in my mind like Rapunzel’s tower Constantly overthinking and stressing, it stings Letting myself get anxious over everything hour after hour

And just being stuck at home, doing pnothing and being bored Scared of failing, disappointing, and that bad things will occur Thinking I will be resented, instead of adored I know I am not really that secure

I can make myself obsess over things that I love That keep me very focused and be as happy as I can be Only stressing and thinking when I have to, having more control thereof Letting myself enjoy life to a high degree

Always living it up and always trying Looking at a brighter side to life, trying to be secure about everything

My overthinking, Has me sinking. Into this deep mire, Sullying my own ire.

Creating slights, My hurt hitting new hights. Choking my heart, Which fails to restart.

Reassurance is needed, Your support heeded. Hand on my chest, ‘Please rest’

A smiled returned, Fear overturned. Calmness restored, This relief flawed.

…

Love you R

…

🖤💚

I have many good traits To the point some people think im perfect But im human I have horrible, disgusting traits too

I’ll talk about the good ones first I’m pretty popular I’m the best striker in my league And I’m very artistic

But there’s also the other ones The ones i try to ignore While they scrape at my soul The meds don’t help

Some of the “bad” traits are: I hate myself I think im fat I’m annoying

But these aren’t bad if you think about it Let’s talk about my self hatred It can be a good thing Like when other people insult me

You might be thinking, “how is that a good thing?” I’ll explain Because i hate everything about myself, I can just smile at them and say “i know”

This confuses them Thats the point So in a way, My depression makes me better

The boiled down curdles of my heart ready to be molded Into something you’re not. The fox in my sheets The succubus on my shoulder There’s nothing left to lose If I’ve lost it all already.

Afraid Of giving everything And ending with Nothing.

Afraid Of longing profusely Only to experience Nothing.

Hopeful I will have Courage and experience Something.

Hopeful Surrendering my everything Will lead to Something.

snow lands on top

those blonde curls

the mysterious blue eyes

the smile

the laugh

the tear

I wish you were real

I wish I was fictional

they call you mean

they call you rude

they call you thoughtless

or manipulative

but I know

I know that we’re all just human

we are all like that

you were just more unlucky

than the rest

I want to hug you

to hold you tight

to kiss your forehead

and boop your nose

and tell you that

everything will be alright

it wasn’t your fault

you became that way

lucy gray baird

like water she seeped in underneath the swirling waves convinced with sweet words you fell, like snow during winter

gone, like she’d never been there roses were a tainted memory always hearing her in the breeze you were once happy and young

but those times were long gone all that’s happened will not repeat it’s written in the stars or I dare to say, woven in our souls

it sounds ridiculous

but I’ve never loved someone so much

he’s only a character

but I want to be with him

by his side

just to see him smile again

I wanted to tell him

that things would be fine

even if it’s a lie

even if it’s impossible

I loved him

he loved her

you loved

only to realize

sometimes, we fall in love

with the wrong person.

Soft Sensitive is what they call me But really I am soft

Cozy I love my bed All cuddled up Away from pain Blankets wrapped tight Because that’s what you do With delicate things

Fragile
My cheeks flush and my eyes wander When I feel too seen When I try too hard to have a say To do things my way I break at the smallest crack Even though ironically To feel seen Is all I want

Warm I give others cozy blankets too If I warm people up inside Maybe then the world will be A cup of hot tea Not just for them but For me Too

Chubby My body is soft These days with a tummy roll and chubby cheeks My shoulders are like pillows For anyone who wants to cry Or to be free To just be Or to talk

Soft Yes I am fragile but
Isn’t best feeling in life is The warm embrace of A cool pillow With the delicate touch Of someone soft?

I am soft

Worst personality… hmm… Let’s find out.

Lay me down. Cut me open. Take a look inside. Let’s see here…

What’s this dark, small thing? Ah, her heart. I see.

What’s this? It’s… a shadow. And it’s- moving.

Put that back. NO! Sorry. Didn’t mean to yell. That’s my demon. Put them back.

More swarm, piling out. Bees from a hive- Spirits from a host.

I scream and writhe. They’re all the sanity I have left. Stop it- no.

Don’t touch them. Listen to them… Haha…

Hear them whisper? So do I.

Feel them claw? Me too.

Feel their eyes on you? So. Do. I.

Shhh. Hush, hush. Now they’ll chant- “End it all.”

My worst personality; my demons within.

Watch them bubble with laughter. Haha, so funny now. I’ll roll with them. Fake smile, cheeeeese.

But, Wouldn’t it be so much better- If my demons would leave?

Maybe so. They’ve tried it… Haha… but I came back.

I came back hard. Violent. I came back bold. Vengeance.

Sit by, watch me scream. Stand by, don’t touch them.

Watch them crawl- Spiders in the attic. Mind is webbed; Watch them feast.

Kill my demons. Take them away.

But- What if- Their host… Is a demon… herself?