okay, but in my defense...

he was hot.

still, I have no excuse...

other than my lack of mental stability.

but, it's not like it's that bad...

he's only a couple years older.

well, it's not like people don't have celebrity crushes three times their age...

I feel like hayden christensen is just a little hotter than him.

however, dAMN LOOK AT THOSE ABS--

[This journal was confiscated by the assistant professor, and with the permission of the writer, will be thoroughly searched and analyzed for any inappropriate comments, behaviors, or drawings.]

My heart may as well have stopped, For I have seen what I thought was a dream A dream that walked with echoes of black heels clicking on the grey marble floor, Her voice soothing like the whispers of a familiar rain after the calm of a stormy night. Red waves of perfectly styled locks falls just below her shoulders, A small pearl necklace paired with a white blouse, straightened black blazer and grey dress pants. Her Green eyes look into mine, small specks of blue shimmering like gems in a hidden forest. She speaks in a soothing contentment of words that fill my ears like a lost song i didn’t know existed, but now that I’ve heard it, I never want to not be around the mesmerizing monotoned noises. She smiles a pearly white smile, forcing a red hue to rise to my cheeks, the corners of my lips twitch, daring a inevitable smile in contrast to her bright yellow aura. I place her stacks of papers on her perfectly sectioned desk, her hand touches mine with a soft thank you for the help, Sparks send through me as if I was gasoline and she was the flame, I couldn’t help but be intrigued by the woman called my professor, The woman that lectured me with her Knowledge of words. And in my mind, the way her eyes look into mine with that smile and her touch, I have a hope deep inside me this love isn’t as unrequited as I first inquired..

as his hand motions at the board as his hair is swept back because of the vent as i stare /mrs dean/ i think dreamily

hearts pepper the corners of my pages words scrawled on the side i love you, mr dean

i giggle silently when he smiles he locks eyes with me and i pretend to take notes when really, i’m doodling his face

cursive swirling mr dean’s name is everywhere on everything i can’t turn it in like this and so my eraser rubs the paper and the graphite fades and as it does my heart cracks along with it for i know we will never be (since it’s technically illegal) and i know he won’t wait for me (since he technically has a family) how unfortunate he’s gay.

The warmness spreads across my forehead And down my cheeks I feel it and I feel everything I can’t speak

Wash over me again just like before Let it come and let it go You push, I pull In my head I see it

Talking doesn’t matter so much I know that we’re aligned as such Your lips they move in ways Ways that make me tremble

Listening isn’t important Feelings so intense, I boil Bubbling on and up and over What may or what may not transpire

My blood runs cold, It must be spilled, I shiver at the thought But the shock wears off a bit and I feel my brain go hot. I know this is a slippery path, I know that it is dirty. The white flakes start to stick, As they wait to turn to water. Each flake is just so unique, But equally essential. If I can get another look as dawn breaks through, And feel the fresh winter air, If would fuel my empty chest, But then the ice would start to melt, And I’d begin to fry. One day I’ll sparkle like that fresh snow, Until then I’ll try not to cry, Convince myself I’ll be alright, And suffer through the lonely night.

Grey His favorite polo His intellect My life before him

Yellow His aura His hair My smile

Pink His lips His spirituality My confession

Blue His sigh His apology My heart

Red His scowl His words My eyes

Black His firing His stare My world after him

Sitting in class, heart fluttering at the sight of my charming professor My notebooks full of doodles of us, But he has no way of knowing His words like sweet symphonies, My eyes so fixed on him My pulse quickens, gazing on, As he paces around the room Soft lines, his face so full of life, I quickly scribble it all down The curves of his lips as he smiles, I cannot help but swoon A poem scribbled in the margins, So beautiful, but never seen My feelings of admiration, No matter how hard I try, remain unseen An arrow pointing at his face, Forever in my dreamy gaze Love written so big on the page, My heart will always be in a craze A blush on my cheeks, my heart beating loud, No one knows how I feel But his eyes meeting with mine, Sending my heart into a spin Knots in my stomach, full of butterflies, His voice so captivating A silly heart drawn around his name, He has no way of ever knowing Words that come tumbling out, My notes dissolving into daydreams A love poem, written during a lecture, Of my admiration for him, it seems

What am I thinking of tonight? A flash of recognition in his eyes The way they brightened as they met mine I felt so light

And I draw lots of hearts As mine flutters in my chest He’ll be none the wiser When he comes over and checks

He’s only a few years older than me He must notice how everyone’s noticing And I’m not the best or brightest of the group He knows that too

Yet I can’t help but wonder And flutter And swoon

As many lovesick girls like me do Maybe he notices in the way I want him to And I’ll be surprised at what he’s about to do

“Great work Laney.”

Alas, it was too sweet to be true

Professor and Mrs. Davidson. Professor and Dr. Davidson. Drs. Davidson.

I do I do I do

How was your day? How many girls flirted with you today? You’re mine. All mine.

Call on me. Call me.

I have questions. I wasn’t paying attention. Will you spank me? Can I get extra credit?

Naughty. Discipline me.

Professor and Mrs. Davidson Professor and Dr. Davidson Drs. Davidson.

Professor Jones makes history interesting. He’s so smart and handsome. I wonder if he’s single? I wrote “I love you “ on my eyelids today before his class. I hope he notices. He hasn’t been in class for a while, I wonder where he’s at? Oh! He’s back!