Out of order, That’s the way I would describe Myself. Broken, That’s the way Others see Me. Non-functional, That’s the way Those above me believe I am. It shouldn’t hurt me That way it does now, But I can’t control it, I don’t know how. I’m completely, One-hundred percent, Undeniably Out Of Order.

“Out of Order” The sign reads I suppose it makes sense Among other things And as I read it I smile I smile because They’re in denial They look at that sign And shake their heads And they don’t notice When I’m crying in bed They look at that sign And say “Not true” But they don’t know the things I say to you They look at that sign Then they look at me They say “Did you put up that?” And I point to the sky “No, it was he.” He who made me He who died But they still shake their heads Like I’m telling a lie They think it’s wrong They think I put it there They think I lie But truly, it’s been there, bare; in plain sight

Feeling higiddly piggidly Feeling out of sorts Feeling off my rocker Feeling sombre thoughts Feeling off my balance Feeling bored as hell Feeling a bit anxious Lost my sense of self… No idea why I feel this way Maybe it's one of those things Maybe I should get some kip Tomorrow, it will be a better day So I will run myself a lovely bath Put my comfy PJ’s on Switch on the telly googlebox And a have a right good laugh. Then I will feel like myself again.

Because I'm broken. So used to abuse, I don't know any other way... my mind heavy, on my rotting business... I live inside this dark, with a corpse from my past. But please, let me introduce myself, I am a common rash. I'm falling to pieces in this land of make believe sunshine. Learning it never is the real thing, when it's started out with lies. What a day to be a joke. All around the world, my heart remaining broke. If these memories are only a rerun show. Surely, I am the last to know. I got that feeling of disturbance and disease. It's in my veins; I'll never be free... -HMG

Nightmares plague; creating the burning in my brain. Unworthy flames, of sentimental waves. Yet somehow I've crashed just outside of a brand new day... -HMG

I felt the shift in the pavement A crack in the foundation The ground we were standing on Crumbling all around me And you were nowhere to be found No, you took off running The second things got hard Don’t you remember everything you promised me Remember how we talked about How promises were sacred things And how you’d like to keep them Because they weren’t kept for you But what did you in fact do? Broke every last one Why promise anything at all? If your intentions were to run What have you done? Made this mess of me And I’m supposed to stay silenced in my pain? Watch you just get away with everything What’s the consequence of losing me? Throwing me away I never had a say You shut me up Before I even had the chance to speak Whys it always me? Why do you always leave? My heart is done I wanted you to be the one Heart out of order I’ve come undone

Sunday, 2nd July Something happened in a field In North London Two old foes England and Australia Fought in the gladiatorial field of old Cricket One side arrived to win at all costs Competitive, ruthless Every margin Every opportunity to be exploited Regardless the cost to limbs Body and mind Regardless the cost to convention Grey areas of fairness And, yes, in the past, flat out cheating. With no regard to a sporting format that has dwindled over time Too boring for the global masses Revered by fanatics in the remaining island outposts of England, Australia and India The other team used to be like that But see the future And have reflected on the past Realise the game has changed Winning with flair, on the right side of fair The only way to win Anything else not watchable Not tomorrow’s cricket Anyway the former won At great cost To body, mind and spirit And kept the game where it is And, yeah, it was well out of order

Doctor says I’m out of order. Couldn’t pinpoint my disorder. Voices in my head, I told her. She said,” €•]%#+*,” and put her notes into my newborn folder. My friends used to say that I’m out of order. I told ‘em all - I couldn’t agree more. They told me,”|>’œp;,” I watched their words like paintings on the sinking floor. Wife said she agrees with Doctor. I broke her heart and put her out of order. I told her,” ≈_>|£\•]+#^~€]>!” She smacked me in the face and told me to get older. She walked away, tears on her face. She turned around and whispered,” </3 •%+]=|>_•.” The padded walls keep saying that I’m out of order. I say I don’t believe them, But it only seems it’s getting colder. The voices in my head, they just keep getting louder. I can hear them, now that it’s the Devil’s hour. They’re screaming, “‘#+=]¥_>^~+{••!” •[*|*~£][==_£~{¥[•|••_ ={=[^^|€£~¥\¥_£€|€!!?,{^\* •_•_€~£*{*[£¥_€~^}{*]¥• }*{+[€~€£\, …}^[+•|€|£. You know what I mean? Well, I guess it’s time I finally follow orders.

The machines continue to beep; The slow metronome of life. A countdown he’s willing himself to face. Family drifts in and out; ghostlike in themselves, Their expressions morbid; hope fleeting But he watches nonetheless. He thinks back on his time with them The memories seem complete, Guidance, wisdom, and sanctuary He gave himself to them. He hopes they’ll take those lessons learned And pass them down to kin Solidifying his presence forevermore And a new life will begin. So while he lies in a suspended state Neither amongst the living nor the dead, He’ll reminiscence about the time he had And make things right with God. As numbers on the clock rush by mocking his decline, His heart struggles to keep pace, always losing time. The world is closing in on him and darkness reaches out; He makes not a single plea, but offers himself up. He is out of order now, Never to be fixed. But his life is one of many And will be cherished nevertheless.

It’s all out of order Your love Our love Or is it your guys love? It’s all out of order Our past Our memories Our dreams didn’t out weigh the past It’s all out of order If I were better Progress would have endured Instead it’s our memories Forevermore It’s all out of order Your love My love Our future It’s all out of order