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I mourn what could have been,
For a moment, I thought I saw the world in your eyes,
Warm pools of dark chocolate tempting the walls around my chest,
Under the snow which graced my lashes,
I thought I saw what it meant to sink,
To rediscover the expanse of my own heart,
I discovered to yearn through touch,
A touch that considerate me in its highest regard,
I discovered to breathe through your lips on mine,
A warmth to combat a loneliness etched deep into my soul,
I discovered who I am through your presence,
Amidst the masks it was you who tore it apart,
You, who saw the wrath of feigned ugliness,
Reaping life from my expression,
You, who lifted my distorted hands to soothe them,
You, tugging my head into your lap beneath a blanket of silence,
Gone in an instant, all of it,
Oh how hard I tried to keep it all,
The affection,
The attention,
The way you looked at me,
It all fell through my fingers like sand whisked away by gravity,
Back to Earth it fell,
Back to Earth I fell,
Why?
Why kiss what you won’t claim?
Why paint my skin with touch only to leave your canvas unfinished?
Unfulfilled,
To yearn for another is a curse,
And I mourn what could have been.
(I couldn’t pick just ONE of these things to write about, so I chose to write 3 poems, one for each. I hope you enjoy!!)
SUN:
Shining bright, My love for you Is like a light, A gorgeous light, Shining through All the clouds of doubt That sit above my head, Lingering with dread.
The way Your light rays Hit my skin, It’s warming, Soothing, Loving.
The sun, It for sure has won My heart, My love, My affection.
Your warm rays of light Get me through the fight Called life. Thank you For helping me through The strife.
MOON:
You come to me In many phases, Each one Just as gorgeous as the last, Our love will never be A thing of the past.
For we have a magical connection, You and I, I’ll light up the Earth, You’ll light up the night sky.
Moonlit forests, A gorgeous place I’ll roam, Staring up at you, Into the tapestry of time, They wove in our love. You Are my bright white dove.
STARS:
Scattered throughout The dark night sky, You showed me that Love is not a lie.
The way you shine, The way you glow, It keeps my walking in a straight line, It helps me know…
Know that love is real, That light is not a lie, For no matter how dull life may seem, You light up the night sky.
Yet I may not be at the finish line. But every bump, I take as a sign. Yet I may not have it all figured out. But I will cling to hope, never doubt. Yet I may not be following the worlds set path. But if I don’t trust myself, I face my own wrath. Yet I may not have all the riches and fame. But I will continue to be myself and never shame. Yet I may not have all the right answers. I will let my creativity shine and feel like dancers. My path may not be perfectly clear yet. But the fact that I’m already on it, is a bet.
Compared to the average person, I think most people’d say I done more bad than good in this life. See, most people never actually get put in a situation where they have to kill somebody. I reckon if they did, they’d feel differently ‘bout me and my decisions. I never set out wantin’ to kill no one - at least not at first. But when it comes to protectin’ my family, all bets are off.
I was born in central South Carolina, in a little town called Elgin. I didn’t grow up with too much, but I also didn’t grow up with too little. Mama took real good care of me and Jamie - she even protected us from Daddy most of the time. She’d take a black eye before she’d let him lay a hand on either of us. And when I hit Daddy over the head with his old baseball bat and killt him, she took to buryin’ the body. Didn’t even say nothing or chastise me neither. She just came inside, washed the dirt off her hands, and started preparin’ supper like nothin’ was wrong.
After I killt Daddy things got real good. Jamie and I got to play in the livin’ room whenever we wanted, and Mama even let us talk durin’ supper! Those were the best times I remember. I didn’t kill nobody for all those years. Well, other than that mean boy Carl. He was pickin’ on my sweet Jamie, so I had to learn him a lesson. I killt him on accident, honest! Jamie said so too! She even helped me bury him deep in the woods.
It is obvious that he had chosen his faith the second he stepped towards me that evening. He cannot deny my impact on him or the way he looks at me.
He is mine, and I protect what’s mine. He cannot separate from me, and I don’t think he wants to. We are equal soulmates that last forever once they meet. It is undenyable rule that has no exceptions.
If he wasn’t going to love me, he wasn’t going to love anyone.
And he already loves me.
I hear the door slam shut, alarming me. I wake from my slumber and head towards the door. The cold wind still settles in the doorway. Unable to find Edwen, I climb the sofa and look out the window. I see a glowing lantern in the distance; large footsteps in the deep snow. Edwen has left me. But why? It is not yet sunrise. I sneak through the small dog-door designed just me and feel the sudden nipping cold wind pierce my fur. I trudge through the deep snow. Edwen could be in trouble. I must protect him. I follow his scent, my nose finding comfort in his vanilla and cashmere scent. I spot the glowing lantern and find a place behind a nearby tree as I assess my situation. Edwen sets his lantern down and sits inside a large circle made of ash. He calls upon darkness and begs for power. A eerie, screeching noise ruptures my sensitive ears. I hold back a whine. Small tears form at my eyes as I see my beloved owner seeking evilness. How could he? How could he be so cruel! My heart breaks at his betrayal as I run from him in search for a new home. I will not reside with evilness.
We’re on the road again. I can never see where we are going, but I trust my mom. I am curled up in the passenger seat with my paws on two pillows mom has propped up on the floorboards for me, so my paws are even and comfortable. I look up at her as she drives. Eyes are straight ahead, her left hand is gripping the steering wheel and a cigarette, and her right hand is resting on my hip. Occasionally she diverts her eyes to me and tells me she loves me. I see mom cry a lot. She’s always done that, and I like licking the salty water from her face. There used to be some people who came around who loved me too and would feed me a lot of treats. I don’t know where they went. Sometimes mom offers up random bits of information to me, insinuating that she’s bad…but I don’t believe her.
She no longer looked at him that way, she realized.
The woman sitting at the table next to them was in love. So in love that one glance at her face was enough to make Jocelyn's heart lurch to her throat and her stomach clench uncomfortably. Still, she risked another look, memorizing the way her brown eyes lit up as she gazed longingly at her lover.
Once upon a time, Jocelyn looked at him that way, too. And once upon a time, so did he. But as she returned her gaze to the man sitting in front of her—who was so blissfully unaware of her melancholy eyes—she no longer felt upset. She no longer felt anything.
He was still talking and Jocelyn nodded absentmindedly. The words flowing from his mouth, once tender and kind, now sounded condescending and mean. She focused on him again and noted the boredom on his face—his traitorous, lingering gaze. The spell broke, and just like that, she could see everything with fresh eyes.
After a long day Willow has finally tucked herself into bed but as soon as she fell asleep, she had to wake up again. With a groan she hastily turned off her alarm clock and stared at her phone screen. Every day was the same routine. Dreading waking up, actually waking up, getting dressed and finally going to work. But in the end it was all a routine to her, she was used to it. She heaved her still asleep body out of bed and got ready for work. Willow hated the thought of going work. Actually, she hated going anywhere. If one heard her daily complaints, they would surely tell her to quit and find a new job. The job was badly paid, they never had enough staff and there were just too many kids. But she never quit. She always put up with it, going to work five times a week. And today was just the same. When she entered the building, greeting colleagues along the way, her anxiety spiked up most of the time. But when the first children arrived it was like a heavy stone was lifted of her shoulders. The children brought her the joy she needed, to still enjoy this job. One particular moment of the day was when she was playing a board game with a kid and she was suddenly interrupted by a poke in her arm. Turning to the kid, Willow always held a smile on her face. „What colour are your eyes?“ the kid had asked. Replying with a simple „green“ the kid was satisfied and went back to the drawing table. At that time Willow didn‘t think much of it. She was curious, of course, but she still went back to the boardback. After finishing playing the kid from earlier had came back, holding a drawing to her face. „It‘s for you!“ the kid had said with a joyful voice. On the drawing was scribbled down a human with green eyes, purple hair and a black outfit. Next to it was a heart filled with all the colours you could possibly imagine. It might not have been a well drawn picture, but to Willow those little gifts were everything. „Thank you so much, you used really colourful pencils.“ And when after another long day she finally came back home, she would put the drawing in a folder dedicated to the gifts she had gotten over her work life. Altough Willow dreaded going to work, she always came back with a smile.
A blank check Was given to me I could fill it out With whatever amount I need What is the price Of freedom Or peace? Has to be A few hundred At least How much for safety? I'd sure like that too Long gone the days Colored in black and blue Is that too much to hope for? Is that too much to ask? For the world that I love To simply love me back?