Glass smashing.

Lit torches and iced pipes passing.

Wakeful nights.

Sleepy days.

Exhale toxic clouds of crystal haze.

Nowadays,

Finding myself is a walkthrough of an endless maze.

I’m told I’m still in that heartbreak phase.

Continuously wiping these tears away.

Saline spray up my nasal passage ways.

Gaze through a mirrorless reflection.

Deception of stained glass,

Leaves a distorted traitorous image.

Eggs Benedict with added hollandaise.

The devils glass,

Self mutilation, please put the razor down.

Life spun upside down and razed to the ground.

Beg to be doused of the fire that set me ablaze.

Help me break free of this near impenetrable cage.

As the tide reaches the sand Washing up treasures on the land But as the tide comes to play We watch our footprints wash away The memory of our fun Washed into the sea But our story just begun The tale of you and me.

Whe watched our footprints wash away But the sand sticks throughout the day Between our toes Now in our shoes Behind our ears In our hair too Our memories has left from the beach The Remaining stuck to you and me.

As our time reaches the end I lay with you Hand in hand It’s time to go Sadly so soon But we’ll meet again And with the tide too.

Down the medicine into the hatch. Bye bye anxiety, hello euphoria. But euphoria is only temporary. When the medicine washes down my throat I finally feel at peace. But not for long as the medicines affect wash away and I’m left alone with my heads thought. Long are the days of worry free thoughts.

Down, down, down Flush the pills down the drain Now no one can tell me That I’m mentally insane Did your daddy place you here? Did he call you by your name? I could tell you what it is, but you’d probably think I’m to blame You see the woman down the hall? No, cause she’s not there at all

I thought I heard her moaning Even listened to her cry But its not like the movies And I can’t explain why Nothing makes me feel better Than pretending I’m insane I’m a messed up human And pills won’t fix my brain Say goodbye to them now Going down the winding drain

What’s this feeling?  Im hurting again My mind just spins and spins I see colors, I’m only seeing red I’m tired of all these voices in my head Tired of this body and soul This brain of mine What’s wrong with me?  Why can’t I reside?  Leave me alone let me be  I’m tired of you all ruining me Running me dry  Laughing at me I’m tired  So tired Of everything

Why oh why, do I feel like I do the same thing on a cycle.

I feel like a washing machine, spinning and spinning.

But the evil queen put me to sleep. In doing so, my innocence was stolen.

Or did someone above protect me from them taking this from me?

Sometimes she feels like she’s lost her head.

Sometimes I feel like going to the water, the rough oceans and washing away the toxicity in me. The negative. I watch as it floats away, like a message in a bottle. A message asking for help.

But then I’m put back to sleep.

Not again though, the cycle was broken by a moon shadow. A gambler so to speak. It had me singing, “I know you, I dreamt of you once upon a dream.”

Sometimes I think I’m crazy. Am I writing about myself or someone else? Am I being listened to? Man oh man I feel it in the bones, I know it. I knew it from the highway 23. The lucky charm.

All I can do is dream, or all she can do is hope right? Or he?

Sometimes I wonder. Can the dirty be washed away.

To be continued…

From… Crazy lace agate, bear. The light to the dark.

My tears pour like rain, Is there a purpose for all this pain? I don’t want all this destruction to be in vain May my tears imbue the land and stain The earth with their memory of bane

The earth is a witness to my heartache My tears have memory and validate My story, the truth

Each teardrop holds a piece of my story And encapsulates in bitter glory Because water is living It sustains life And brings life to my memories

You can weave your lies any way you like But my tears will tell the truth when you lie Their memory affirms you’re the one who made me cry

My tear trickle like a stream Changing my past into a bad dream

Tears in sunshine rain bow

Moments in life.

Hit like a tidal wave.

One day,

To the next.

All of a sudden,

17 17 17 17 17 17….

Dancing queen.

Young, and free.

Uncomfortable on my tongue

Smile stretched wider than they could.

Core memories made in unlocking.

New day; New year

Brand new 17.

Choices, to be decided

Love isn’t lost and will be more found

The scavenger hunt is

Alright

because

It’s 17.

And 17’s

Alright.

So loved

See it in the way they act and the way it ends.

At this

Brand new shoes

And brand new air.

At 17

Flooded with sugar

They were so sweet.

Ways to be okay

And support from far way.

It was a decision.

17 was.

Deliberate joy crafted with precision.

Hard.

But not impossible.

Personality in a card and leave it there.

leave it at 17

Change for the minor keys

So it can be made to amount the majors.

Play with strings

Of every kind

Don’t get caught up

At only

Washed up at

Ride the

Flash flood.

Learn to swim.

So you can

Float.

This is encompassing my life Like a twist of the knife

In my back A ruthless attack

I want to be done Talking from moon to sun

But you keep going And going and going

Until I can’t take it My emotions are split (And feel like shit)

I want to give up, give in But neither of us win

It’s all a loss

It can easy Easier than we might think To be forgotten about Washed away Replaced But There’s always hope Always hope that there’s better people out there Ones that won’t look at us In that light Ones that will nurture us Protect our hearts and minds Learn to understand all that we are And never Ever Wash us away.