This is the aftermath to Vanish. Part of my Vanish, Background, Olivia Is My Name, series

“Oh my gosh did you hear Violet, got a 87% on her test?” A person whispered as Violet walked past. Violet felt ashamed as she walked the corridors alone. With her head hung low and her arms clenching her books tight to her body. “You know saying things like that doesn’t change anything.” A voice said sounding pissed off. “And what’s it to you?” The girl snapped back. “She’s my- gi- friend. She’s my friend, now piss off.” The voice said sounding meaner and more annoyed. Violet raised her head at the word friend. Standing in front of Violet was just her last and only true friend. Rose, who looked always as pretty like a rose. “Oh thank god. I thought someone else said that.” Violet said letting out a sigh. “Um.. I never said anything. Plus I just got here.” Rose replied looking confused. “If you just got here… then who-“ Violet began to say. “Hey, Vi.” Someone said wrapping their arm around Violet’s shoulder. “What the fuck! Get off me Ethaniel!” Violet said jumping back from the stranger to see it was Crimson. Crimson, the most popular girl in the school not because she was the popular cheerleader. Because she was the star athlete in the entire school. “Oh Crimson!” Violet said shocked and surprised. “Whoa, does my voice really sound like my brother’s?” Crimson chuckled and looked back at the spot the girls were standing. “Anyway…” Crimson looked back at Violet. “Sorry about the whole being your friend thing. I’m way too sporty to be a friend to someone as cool as you, Violet. I really am sorry for that.” Crimson said. “Oh, I don’t think Violet, cared at all.” Rose smiled and nudged Violet closer to Crimson. “It was the only thing I could of quickly.” Crimson said looking away. “Seems like relationships are on your mind, Crimson?” Rose asked. “What my friend meant to say is thank you for that, let’s never talk again.” Violet said smiling before dragging Rose away from Crimson. “Wait, what?” Crimson looked back at Violet and Rose to see they had already left. “Isn’t that your?” Rose tries to say but Violet covers Rose’s mouth as she watches Crimson leave. “You were saying?” Violet asked uncovering Rose’s mouth. “Isn’t that your crush?” Rose asked confused. “Well yeah. I like Crimson like that..” Violet looked back at where Crimson was and their eyes met. “But every time I get the chance I blow it thinking about all our diferences.” Violet said sighing. “Yet when she saw you in destress her first thought was to help you in anyway possible.” Rose said looking at Violet seeing her mood change. “Well it’s not like I’m going to have the perfect opportunity.” Violet said standing tall and looking down at her hands. “Of course not but you can make the most of this opportunity.” Rose smiled. “Fine.” Violet sighed and turned to see Crimson already walking to them. “Never mind. Never mind!” Violet blurted out while turning to facing Rose. “Hey… Violet?” Crimson spoke softly looking at Violet. “Huh? What?” Violet asked turning back to Crimson. “Can we talk for a sec?” Crimson asked nervously. “Sure..” Violet answered looking back at Rose nervously. “You got this.” Rose mouthed to Violet. Violet and Crimson went outside walking to the school’s old basketball court. Which was always empty ever since the school got a new court. “So…” Crimson said stopping at the court. “You’re the one who dragged me here. So you talk first.” Violet said her voice sounding cold and mean despite Crimson being her crush. “Oh, yeah right.” Crimson turned to Violet with her hands in her pockets. “Sorry about earlier… but maybe we could actually be friends?” Crimson asked nervously, her eyes finally meeting Violet’s. “Sure.” Violet only smiled even though she was over the moon with excitement inside. “Well great! I gotta get to a class so I guess I’ll see you around, Violet.” Crimson said quickly before walking away back to the classrooms. “But we don’t have class for another… 20 minutes.” Violet mumbled and then walked away. Rose’s eyes lifted from her phone. Rose’s entire face lit up when she saw Violet. But then became sad seeing Violet’s expression neutral. “So?” Rose asked. “Nothing. Nothing you think happened happened.” Violet replied to Rose looking around for Crismon. “What do you think I wanted to happen?” Rose asked with a small smirk on her face. “You know… we’re just friends.” Violet said looking at Rose then back around the hall to meet Crismon’s gaze. Violet’s face turned to a happier. “Your face just became happy like I saw it. What happened?” Rose asked walking to Violet and standing right beside her. Rose saw what Violet was looking at. “Rose…. It’s just Crimson. She is so…. Ah! I don’t know. Which makes me interested in her and my heart beat faster.” Violet said with her hand over her chest. “Classic.” Rose said and leaned on Violet’s shoulder. “Wait! What happened?!” Rose asked excitedly. Violet froze and her face turned to a shocked look. “Uh… well we’re friends now… just friends.” Violet smiled even though she knew she wasn’t going to be Crimson’s friend for long. “No. You, idiot. Do you not remember what she first said to you?” Rose asked looking at Violet a little disappointed in her own knowledge. “She said I was…. Cool………. Oh.” Violet realized. “I guess we’re all blind in our own love.” Said a hopeless romantic girl with a friend who is always just blind.

I don’t know what I was thinking. Why did I think it would be a good idea to bring my cat to school? At the time I was thinking “Little Sunny is so sweet and calm, if I sneak her into my school bag and bring her to the school play rehearsal, no one will even notice!” Well, it didn’t work out like that. Instead, I’m chasing her around the school because she got out of my bag and now I have to find her before someone else does first. Sunny is normally so lazy, why did she have to pick now to get a burst of energy? “Sunny! Get back here you annoyingly adorable fluff ball!!!” I call as I chase her down the stairs to the basement. She still runs away from me! The crazy thing is, in two minutes I won’t be mad at her anymore because she’ll stare at me with those big kitten eyes and then I’ll completely forgot this happened! I swear, cats get away with everything! Okay, now I can’t find her, and it’s so dark down in this basement. It’s unfinished and only used for storage, so a little cat like Sunny could hide in here forever. Then I hear someone come in, I turn around to see who it is. Just in case, I run behind a shelf. If it’s the ridiculously strict Mr. Winster, then I definitely don’t want to get caught. I see a student and sigh in relief. Then I almost fall back in surprise, it’s not just any student, it’s my crush, Annie. She’s only the smartest, funniest and cutest person I’ve ever met. She’s also in the school play, only while I’m playing a background character, she’s playing the lead. I doubt she knows who I am. This is just great, as if I’m not already really awkward when I see her. This whole thing with Sunny is just going to make it worse! Okay, I have to think. How do I get Sunny back without making a fool of myself? I see Annie walk over to one of the storage bins that has extra costume supplies in it. Then I gasp when I see Sunny perched on the shelf right next to her, ready to pounce at any moment. No Sunny! You can jump on my head all you want, but leave Annie’s impossibly soft hair alone! At least now I’ve found my crazy cat, now I just have to get her back. I start to get out from my hiding place. I try to move on of the bins aside, but when I pick it up it hits the shelf. Since it’s really heavy, it actually knocks over the whole shelf! The shelf crashes down right as Annie’s about to leave. When she hears the crash, she turns around in surprise and sees me right next to the fallen shelf. “Uhh, hi there…” I say really awkwardly. “Jane? What are you doing here? Why did that shelf fall over?” Annie asks. “Well, um… uh.” I try to think of an excuse, but I can’t think of anything. During my extreme awkwardness, I don’t notice Sunny sneak up behind me and jump onto my head. After that I crash into another shelf, it falls over and knocks over a stack of bins that all fall on me! Great, because I wasn’t already embarrassed. Okay, if this happened in front of anyone else, I would be really embarrassed. But this didn’t happen in front of anyone, it happened in front of Annie, and I’m going to have to hide in my room for the nexts decade. “Jane, are you okay!?” Annie calls. Then she runs over and moves the bins out of the way. I awkwardly get up, now I have to get out of here as soon as possible. “Uh, thanks. I have to go now!” I say quickly. Just as I’m about to leave, Annie walks up to me holding Sunny. “Hey, Jane, is this your cat?” Annie asks. “Uh, yes, it is. Thank you.” I say, taking Sunny from her. “May I ask why you brought your cat to school?” Annie asks. “Well, I guess for some reason I thought it would be a good idea, now I see that it wasn’t.” I say. “Well, she is pretty cute, I’ve always wanted a cat. Hey, we should probably clean this up before anyone else sees it.” Annie says. Annie walks away and starts putting the bins back. Oh my gosh, she finally noticed me, she actually knew my name, and she doesn’t hate me or think I’m weird! This is the best day of my life! And it was all because I brought my cat to school! “Sunny, you are the best cat ever.” I whisper to Sunny.

“Ouch” I mutter. Not again. I stumbled over a tree. A tree. My second name isn’t ‘clumsy’ for no reason. I try to get up but… what is that? Am I stuck? I can’t move my right leg. Am I damned to die alone in a forest, eaten by bugs? I knew this day would come. The day where my clumsiness is killing me. No, I am not overdramatic. I have gotten so many bruises in my lifetime, it wouldn’t be surprising if “she died by stumbling over a chair” if going to be written on my grave. Well, now it’s probably going to be “she tragically stumbled in a forest and got eaten by insects”. “Hey! Is someone there?” Hearing that loud voice almost shocks me more than my fate to die. I could recognize that husky voice everywhere. Jackson. My… crush. Why does it always have to happen to me? Of course it is my crush who sees me in an unfortunate situation like this. “Yes. Hello!” I finally manage to answer. For a second I thought he left, not sure if I would be happy about that, but then steps got closer. “Liv? Is it you?” His face appears in my view. Oh my god, he knows my name!! Focus, Liv, Focus. He is waiting for an answer. “Yep, hi Jackson. Do you mind helping me? I got stuck.” His dark eyes wander down my body, analyzing the situation. His pretty face has a concentrated expression. “Wow. How did you do that? Your leg is under a tree which was already felled.” I feel how my cheeks are getting warm. I tried to overplay it, but I am actually quite embarrassed. “I.. I don’t know..” I respond with a quiet voice. I hate how weak it sounds. “It’s alright. I can get you out of there.” Jackson assures. “I’m just going to…” he tries to lift the tree. His hands brush over my leg. “Oh. Sorry.” he says. I panic. He’s my crush, after all. “It’s fine. Thanks a lot for helping me” I answer. He grunts a bit but then I am free. “Woah, thank you.” I say as he helps me get up. Standing up again, I realise that we are still holding hands. Oh my god. I slightly smile at him. “Thank you. How lucky that you were here.” He mirrors my smile and answers “yeah, I am also glad. We don’t want you to die in a forest, do we?” He says jokingly. My heart flutters, he doesn’t want me to die! And we are still holding hands. He also seems to realise that and loosens his grip on my hand. But he doesn’t let go entirely! I see this as a win. My god. Who would have guessed that I’d end up like this? I just wanted to go on a walk to clear my mind. “What were you doing here, by the way?” I dare to ask. “Oh, just going on a walk. And then I saw a head and heard an ouch so I rushed to check what was going on.” He answers. “Me too. I mean, I was also just going in a walk until that happened to me.” I say. He smiles at me. “Should we go together a bit? So I can protect you from the trees, you know?” He suggests in a joking tone. My smile widens. “Sure. I need that, I guess.” I chuckle. He does too, and we start to walk hand in hand. Yes right, we are still holding hands. My heart is racing and I hope my hand isn’t as sweaty. “So, tell me: were you actually about to kill yourself because of the maths exam next week?” He asks after a while. “Oh my god, don’t remind me of that! And no, I would kill myself with more niveau.” I answer, laughing. It’s crazy how I can fully be myself with him. Jackson laughs. “Okay, let’s talk about something else. How come we have never really talked? You are super cool to chat with, Liv.” My heart really likes this compliment. “Thanks, you too.” I answer. He smiles widely. “You are nice.” He says. The butterflies in my stomach are partying hard. God damn, we are still holding hands. “Why are you holding my hand, Jackson?” I blurt out. Damn- I should think more before I speak. “Because I don’t want you to fall again.”, he teases me. “Oh, that’s it?” Suddenly I am brave. Suddenly I wink at him in a flirtatious manner. Suddenly we stop walking. Suddenly he brushes my hair behind my ear. Suddenly I look him deep in his eyes. “No, I am holding your hand because I kind of have a crush on you, Livi.” He openly admits. I freak out. Well, inside. On the outside I just stare at him, my mouth opened. Who could have known that my longterm crush has a crush on me, too?? Hey google. What do I do when my crush admits that he likes me? I don’t know how much time passed until Jackson says: “Sorry, I didn’t want to shock you. But that is the truth. I always saw you in the hallways and you always said smart stuff in class, my heart just ended up beating faster for you.” Why is he apologizing?! I did something wrong, didn’t I? Oh. My. God. “No, Jackson. I mean, me too?! I have a crush on you, too.” I stutter. “You do?” His face lights up. “Yea..” I say. His hand grabs my face and his lips crush on mine. Before my brain could process what’s going on he withdraws already. “Sorry. I should have asked for your permission.” He apologizes. How is he literally so perfect?! “Jackson. Don’t worry. I want to kiss you. I wanted it ever since you won that price and didn’t know what to say. Ever since I have seen you be gentle to that cat that had to be rescued. Ever since-“ his lips make me shut up. Hands still locked, we continue our walk after some minutes of intense kissing. We talk about everything; ourselves, the world and everything we want to know about each other. My accident made me happy, who could have known that?

Why am I like this? I’m hanging off a bridge just to prove a point. What point you may ask? That I was stronger than David Finch even though I was a girl. But now I found myself in need of assistance. The crowd that had gathered at first dispersed and left me here. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid stubborn girl. I considered yelling for help. But if it was anyone from school it would be the center of every conversation for a very long time. “Hey!” Nothing. I was relieved and irritated the same time. What’s a little water? I mean it’s only, what 10, 12 feet from the ground into a raging river? Gosh I’m an idiot. “Hello?” I grew quiet. I recognized that voice. Do I say something, or fall into a river labeled: ego. Ugh. “Whose there?” They asked again. “Go away” I yelled. A few seconds of feet shuffling around, then a head peered over the side of the bridge. “Qadira?” It had to be Amatsu. I looked down so that the red in my cheeks would subside. “What are you doing?” He asked amused. “None of your business, back off” a silence came over the us while I continued to hang there. My arms were tired and I thought I might fall any minute. “Do you want help?” “No! I’m… uh… exercising” he gave me a ‘right’ look. “Okay, by then” he walked away. “Hey! Wait don’t leave!” His head peeked back over the rail. He smirked. “Would you like help now?” He asked. “Yes please” I grumbled. With the grace of an athlete he hopped over the rail and took my hand. He pulled me up. With the recklessness of an idiot, I pushed away as his arm reached around my back. Amatsu lost his footing and off we both went falling to the river below. At least I can swim. Can’t say the same for him.

(The end I guess)

“Can someone please tell me what the answer to this question?” The teacher asked for the third time.

Jenna slowly raised her hand, but someone else raised it faster.

“26.” The person answered confidently.

The teacher smiled at them. “Nice work, Elijah! That’s correct!”

Elijah pumped his fist. “Yes.” He whispered.

Everyone in the class laughed. Except for Jenna. All she could do was stare at him with dreamy eyes.

The loud bell sounded and Jenna snapped out of her illusion and grabbed her backpack. She carefully placed her papers inside, then flung it over her shoulder and walked out of class.

Elijah followed her out. Jenna pretended not to notice him. She silently squealed to herself.

Soon, Jenna made it to her last period, biology. Elijah still followed her. Her teacher, Mrs. Anne, waved to her with a smile.

“Jenna! Always a welcome face!” Mrs. Anne said.

Jenna waved back and walked over to her seat. Without her knowing, her table partner, Finn, pulled her seat away.

Jenna started to sit down and fell once she realized her chair wasn’t there. The class erupted in laughter. Even Mrs. Anne couldn’t stop them.

“Ow!” Jenna exclaimed. “Finn!” She looked up at him and growled.

Elijah suddenly appeared. He grabbed Finn’s arm and pulled him away from her.

“Hey!” Finn shouted at him.

“Are you okay?” Elijah held his hand down to her.

Jenna gratefully took it. “Yes. Thank you.”

Elijah pulled her up. “No problem.”

Jenna noticed his face turn a slightly brighter red. Was he blushing? Jenna tried to make her face to the same red, and it seem to have worked, because Elijah quickly let go of her hand and sat in his own seat.

Jenna looked toward her table and pulled her chair back under her. Finn sat in his chair too and glanced at Jenna. He snarled.

“Next time, you won’t be so lucky.”

Jenna ignored him. She placed her chin on her crossed arms and closed her eyes.

Jenna woke up to Elijah shaking her. She blinked her eyes open, raised her head, and gasped.

Elijah jumped back with surprise. Jenna turned to look at him. The rest of the room was empty.

“Sorry.” She whispered.

“No, it’s okay.” Elijah picked up her backpack for her.

Jenna stood up from her chair and Elijah carefully slipped the backpack over her shoulders.

“Thank you, Elijah, but I better be going now.” Jenna turned to walk out the door, but Elijah gripped her wrist.

Jenna turned back to him and he let her wrist go. He had a serious expression. “We need to talk about how we’re going to take our relationship from here.”

“Wha-what are you taking about?” Jenna stuttered.

“I know you like me, Jenna. And I like you too.”

Jenna turns her head and looks down at the floor before looking right back up at Elijah. “I suppose that only means one thing.”

“What does it mean?” Elijah tilted his head in confusion.

Jenna smiled happily. She had been waiting for this day. To finally have someone who will love her and treat her the way she should be treated. She took one of his hands in hers.

“It means we’re now together. Boyfriend and girlfriend.”

Elijah smiles at her and she smiles back. “I guess that is what it means, isn’t it?”

He gently rubs her face with his other hand and leans down. Jenna knows what is about to happen.

Jenna leans into it. Elijah’s lips eventually meet hers and they kiss.

I come to, blood on my hands Pain in the face, eyes burned wide A claw reaches down, I know him I miss him, pity he’s here now It hurts, I can’t see. Why must he see me like this

In her mind she was another Kristi Ymaguchi. She thought she was so beautiful and graceful on the ice, and when she skated she was sure everyone was admiring her.

A triple lutz. A sit spin. A double toe loop. She could do them all and loved to show them off at the mall ice rink in her rhinestone studded costume.

She especially loved skating there when Charlie was working the snack bar. He was so cute in his little snack bar uniform.

Charlie was two years older - a senior! He skated too, but for the hockey team, and he had the removable front tooth to show for it. Imagining his gap-toothed smile gave her a little rush.

Maybe it was thinking of Charlie that distracted her while lacing her skates.

She was out on the ice. Speeding past the kids holding their parents’ hands, past the awkward boys her age stumbling around the rink. She was coming to the point closest to the snack bar and Charlie.

This was going to get his attention she thought as she planted her right foot and went to throw her left leg up with such power that it would lift her into the sky for a towering double twist.

Just then the long lace from her left boot, which had come undone, caught under her right skate. Instead of launching her upward, her left leg thrust was stopped abruptly and she was thrown forward, onto the ice, onto her knees, hands, and chin.

As if the fall weren’t embarrassing enough, she could hear herself crying from the shock and pain radiating across her face. Other skaters paused to see if she was okay, and once they decided she was, they went back to skating. Through her tears, she was pretty sure she heard a few of the boys chuckling.

“You okay?” She lifted her head a little higher off the ground to see. It was Charlie. Smiling. “Nice jump” he said sarcastically without sounding mean. “They didn’t teach you how to lace your skates at ice princess camp?” That stung a little, but still he sounded like he was trying to distract her from the pain.

“They do, but I flunked the class” she said, still sounding shook up but trying to put on a brave face. Charlie held out his hand to help her up. She took it. “I was top of my class in lacing, I could tutor you” he laughed.

Her knees, hands and chin were hurting and starting to bruise. Her legs were wobbly. She could still feel the heat in her face from the public humiliation. But as she felt Charlie’s strong grip lead her off the ice, she realized that might have the best jump of her life.

I was in lunch and somebody tripped fell and got ketchup All Over My Face. Laughter rang out and I became as red as the ketchup but no one came to help. I started to stand slowly when he stuck his hand out for me. I looked up at him and took it, rising to my feet. He grabbed a napkin and helped clean it off my arms while I did my face. Omg he’s so hot. Why me why me why me. At one point he caught my eye for a moment. A longgg moment. He then took my hand and asked if he could take me to the sink to fully rinse it off. When we got there he took his thumb and wiped the remains of it off my cheek. He then leaned in and said “You’ll have three seconds.” And he kissed me. I froze. He pulled back. “1..” “Keidiejjsz what-?” “2…3 you didn’t slap me so then it’s ok” And he pulled me Into another deep kiss. And this time I returned it.

I took one last long drag, ashed the cigarette on the underside of my boot. I had promised myself I wasn’t gonna come here anymore….but here I am. Big Tony’s Tap and Grill. A cesspool in the cities underbelly. I had questions and Buig Tony had answers. I stumbled through the doorway, tripped on my own feet like a schmuk. I was hoping to enter the joint discreetly but I smacked my forehead off the ATM. All eyes were on me now as I crawled to usual booth. “Yer bleedin out toots” said the petite brunette waitress. “It’s only blood sweetheart” I said as I crawled to my usual spot in the northeast corner. This joint was smack dab in the heart of Jumbo Johnny’s turf and I wasn’t lookin for trouble. “14 black coffees sweetheart.” It was going to be a long night. She handed me. A bandaid,”u got a hole in ya head daddy” she said as she lifted me into the red velvet booth seats. Sweet girl. Too sweet for this town that’s for sure. “I’ll have a ketchup milkshake “ I screamed, loud as I could. I saw fear in her eyes. She must be new, not yet tainted by the city . I was jealous. “Name?” I growled …”they call me Wolf Puss”. Wolf puss……somethin was different about this one. She was morbidly obese…..real heavy girl. Had less teeth than a jack o lantern but she was too sweet. I reached in my pocket and pulled out a couple dozen buttons. “You should get outta here sweetheart”. She was confused but still obidient. She sprinted to the window and dove headfirst through aw the glass. I had to admit , she had guts. It was mid winter and I could see my breath. The large hole in the window only made the joint colder. I heard a booming from the kitchen. “That window is comin outta Wolfies pay cheque!!” Big tony. Jackpot. Tony’s the type of guy u recognize. You literally smell him before you see him. He was wearing his lucky Jeff Gordon t-shirt. But tonight even #34 wasn’t gonna save him. “TUESDAY DECEMBER 8th” I yelled as I set down my ketchup milkshake. “RING A BELL TONY?”. I watched his stomach sink. He was toast and he knew it. “That you jimmy??”t The words squeaked out of the cowards mouth like broken chalk on the blackboard . “Sit beside me fart ass” I demanded, careful to stay calm and collected while my blood boiled in veins. “Never thought you would fuck me TONE” the words were like bullets and Tony had forgotten his vest. He replied, I hardly even heard it. My ears rang, loudest silence I ever heard . I had already decided his fate hours earlier. Big Tony had committed an unforgivable sin. Really made a mess of things for the bosses. The bosses hate cleaning up. They always say “ I hate cleaning up”. He shoulda known better. It never gets easier ….hurtin a guy. I pulled a handful of sand out of my pocket and threw it into his eyes. “Pocket sand Tony” I smirked, “you remember pocket sand??”. I suddenly smelt fear, a distinct aroma. A pathetic cowardly stench. “The 8th Tony …..what happened on the 8th old friend?” I whispered to him as I sharpened my machete. It’s amazing how fear changes a man. I’ve seen it more times than I’d like to admit. “It wasn’t me jimmy!” He squealed, the words submerged in a sea of pubescent voice cracks. “You know me jimmy ! You know I’d never do that shit!” He pleaded as the urine pooled up beneath his feet. “Tony ……You’re the only one here who hasn’t figured out how dead you are yet” I locked eyes with my old friend “the only one Tony ……the only one “ He knew no words could fill the grave he was destined to lay in. “ You stole my uncles pool heater Tony ……and u thought I wouldn’t find out”. Tony began to cry . Fucking pathetic. “ His kids are cold Tony” I said as I filled a water bottle with half baileys and half whiskey ,” cold kids are bad for business tone”. He was cooked like a hangover pop tart and he knew it. The moon hid behind the ol Jenkins building as if it knew what was about to happen. I pulled my former friend to the ground by his rat tail haircut. It never gets easier …..hurtin a guy. But this was no guy. Hurting an animal is easy money.

I left the building, glanced around, had to make sure I didn’t have a tail on me. Turns out old wolf puss didn’t quite nail the landing. Ever seen a tree hundred pound broad layin in a pile of glass? Disgusting is what it is. And the noises…..the god Damn noises. I couldn’t let her blow my cover. I had already taken a life that night so why not take two? I tied her to a passing garbage truck. Tied her pathetic fat leg right to the grill. 79 Peterbilt, steel grill , she had no chance . Au Revoir madame. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Sposed to be in and out,real quiet. But it wasn’t, it was loud and Jumbo Johnny has ears like a mule. The moon peeked out far side of the Jenkins building.”look who decided to show up” I thought to myself. I felt like a sobeys lobster….not boiling yet but heading down a dark road….basically fucked.

2: TONY

Jimmy the wolf they called hem. Kid used to piss on hydro poles, used to talk about about “markiin his territory”. Us wise guys just assumed he was retarded. Mean, but retarded. A terrible combination if you really think about it. I was mixed up with a some bad guys, stole some pool heaters, didn’t think much of it. Turns out I was the hydro pole ,and jimmy was comin to piss on me. I had heard the stories, the tall tales. Heard he bit a deaf kids arm off but I considered myself something of a tough guy, after all I did have a rat tail haircut. It was a pretty normal night at the bar, I was in the back drinkin pickle juice when I heard the sickening noise of glass smashing . I immediately knew Wolf Puss was most likely dead. Leaving that kitchen and walkin into the restaurant I felt like I was walkin into a fuckin volcano or somethin. Alls I remember is seein jimmy there and a giant hole in the window behind him . This hole was shaped exactly like Wolf Puss so I knew she was either dead or at the very least super fucked up. Jimmy and I grew up together, used to do normal kid stuff like kill dogs and shit. I tried pleading my case to Jim but he just stared right through me. Kept staring at my rat tail haircut so understandably I was nervous. Last thing I remember was him swingin me around by my r- tail kinda like how Mario used to swing bowser around by his tail. The jimmy I used to let ride my bmx pegs was gone….replaced by a ketchup drinking monster.

3 :JIMMY

There was blood on my hands and I knew it. It was likely just ketchup but metaphorically, it was blood. I was knee deep in trouble and I had forgotten my knee water wings at home. As much as I hated the guy, I knew Jumbo Johnny ran this pond and I was just a pussy little tadpole. I had lost control. December 8th. What happened on December 8th? That was the million dollar question and Regis wouldn’t let me phone a friend. Tony stole my uncles pool heater, that much was obvious. But why? Who was pulling the strings? Never thought I’d say this but, I had to find Jumbo Johnny. He’s actually a tiny skinny guy, it’s one of those ironic nicknames . A real sick piece of shit. Just the sound of his name made my stomach turn. “Jumbo Johnny “. Gross. I threw a toothpick in my mouth and wandered over to the pizza joint on 34th street. The minute I walked in the door I felt like a diced pineapple on a pizza. I didn’t belong there and it was obvious. Then she walked in. The memory plays repeatedly in my head like a broken record. Large Marge, 13 feet of pure American woman. I’ll never forget the way she accidentally smacked her skull on the doorframe as she entered the establishment. I hate seeing a gal suffer, other than Wolf Puss, that didn’t bother me. Looking at her was like looking at two trains colliding head on. A sexy hideous tragedy. This pizza joint didn’t quite feel right. I asked for a large pepperoni and was immediately shot in the chest with a shotgun. Not exactly a warm welcome. It was right around this time that Large Marge finally regained consciousness and invited me out into the parking lot to talk. “How u feelin?” She asked. “Not so good sweetheart, got a bunch of shotgun shells in my chest” I replied, cheeky as ever. She laughed as if I was joking. I was not joking. The pain was excruciating but I tried to play it cool. She saw right through my little act. She reminded me of a hydro pole. I wanted to piss on her so bad but I couldn’t blow my cover. I had to say something smooth and fast. “Yo …bitch!” I yelled. I had officially played myself. She walked back into the pizzeria, fracturing her skull yet again on the doorframe. Then she made a gigantic mistake. In he midst of her concussed wild ramblings she showed her hand .”Jumbo……Johnny…..418 …..Main Street “. I couldn’t believe how convenient that was.

4. LARGE MARGE.

I remember seeing Jimmy but that’s about it.

5. JIMMY

I arrived at 481 Main Street. An old industrial building. Pallets and trucks littered the parking lot. Obviously a front, a fake business. I banged on the door , one, two, three….four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen. Blood dripped down my knuckles and my arm was exhausted. An elderly man holding a mop answered the door. “How’s business oldilocks? Where’s the 3 bears?” My incredible wit devastated the clearly disabled schmuck. He was visibly confused. Probably had never seen a man with enough courage to show up to johnnys place alone. “I’m just the nightshift janitor big fella” he squealed. His dentures fell out of his mouth and on to the gravel. I crushed them under my foot. “My d-d-d dentures! I can’t-“ I pulled his head clean off his body. I peaked my head in the steel door and was greeted by the smell of embarrassment. This truly was a real business. The workers screamed with confused terror. “Shit” I muttered “I fucked up guys, I thought this was 418 Main Street but it’s 481 Main Street. Shit guys. Sorry bout this guy I just killed here, truly my bad” I gently placed the janitors severed head on his bloody stump of a neck. My guilt grew larger when I realized this would in fact not bring him back to life. “WHOS GONNA FUCKIN DO THE JANITING NOW?!?” A particularly angry worker screamed. I walked out backwards and closed the door. I had really made a mess of this one. Time to get the hell outta dodge. I began to sprint but immediately tripped in a puddle. I pulled myself to my feet and sighed. “What the fuck jimmy you look like An idiot man!” I resumed my sprint. Another puddle. I looked down and realized I had soiled myself. I was glad large marge wasn’t here to see this. 3 hours and 11 puddles later I arrived at 418 Main Street, furious embarrassed and exhausted.

6. THE CREATURE

   The dull butter knife slid back and forth. The unpleasant sound of metal on bone echoed throughout the room. The teeth tore through the last layer of flesh and the leg fell to the floor. A figure appeared on one of the dozen security camera screens lining the wall. “What’s this?…..a canary has flown into my cage it seems” the man behind the screens exhaled hard and closed his eyes. “ Smarter than I thought boy…..” the man reached for the cold severed leg on the ground and picked it up. “ It’s perfect” he whispered. He pulled a string hanging from the ceiling and the room was illuminated by intense fluorescent light. A pile of flesh and thread sat menacingly in the corner. Countless legs stitched together, arranged in the shape of a Christmas tree. There were no gifts here, just a hellish landscape of limbs. “ It’s nearly finished” spoke the man, his voice shrill and terrifying. “I have to keep working…..god told me I had to finish it. He speaks through me” muttered the man. The janitor slowly backed out of the room. “It’s only missing one thing jimmy….my little plaything jimmy” whispered the man as he brushed the glass video screen with his fingers. “ The star on top of the tree….” The man shuddered in pleasure. The janitor re-emerged in the doorway with a police officer at his side. He pointed at the man behind the screens. The officer took a glance, shook his head and left the room. The mysterious man tied his shoes then approached a closet. He grabbed the closets handle with his tiny leathery hand and pulled it open. Legs spilled out onto the floor, some large and thick, some small and skinny, some with striped socks and oversized clown shoes on the feet. He ran his fingers over each leg individually, “eenie…..meany…..miney…..mo……fuck I love legs” he croaked.

7. OFFICER McSALTY

   I took a right turn and accelerated. My shift was nearly over and I was exhausted. Something caught my eye….I had been working this beat for just over a decade and I had seen it all. Atleast that’s what I thought. I flicked the spotlight on and my jaw dropped. The fattest broad you ever saw….soaked in blood laying in a pile of glass. I pulled my cruiser up closer to get a better look. She was hurt bad and struggling to breathe, a common symptom of obesity. When you put the badge on you undertake certain responsibilities, there are certain things you have to do, no matter how messy. I unrolled my window and leaned my head out. “ SUCKS TO BE YOU FATTTTYYYYYY” I screamed at the oversized flesh turtle stuck squirming on her shell. Pedal, meet floor. I began doing the longest loudest burnout ever known to man. Cop shit. I slammed the car into drive and accelerated down the street, laughing hysterically. “This is what it’s all about” I thought to myself. “This is what makes it all worth it” I power slid onto Main Street , Vin Diesel style. I noticed a headless dead man beside a mop and the remains of a set of dentures. I closed my eyes, said “LALALALALA” and continued driving. This city was a lost cause and even the cops didn’t care anymore. Trust me. I’m a cop. I had 5 minutes left in my shift and I wasn’t doin shit. Fuck it. I used to care, I really did. An old partner of mine said something to me once, he said “you can either care or live here….but you can’t do both kid” I didn’t get it, still kinda don’t but that’s life. I flicked my sirens on and began yelling “ WEOOO WEOOO WEOOO” as I drove off into the night . Cop shit.

8 JUMBO JOHNNY

A city is just a zoo….a zoo for people. Buncha schmuck penguins fightin in a cage. For what? To be king of some igloo? Great work birdo but ya still can’t fly. The penguin grows old and is replaced, then the cycle repeats. Now penguins ain’t dumb as I’m sure you know. They know they can’t be on top forever. Yet they strive for it. That’s power ladies and gentlemen. Power will make a man , or a penguin , do things. Dirty disgusting things even by penguin standards. Did you know the dad penguin takes care of the eggs? Always thought that was neat. Well just so happens that I’m top penguin in this particular cage. I’ll probly be on top forever despite what I just said mere moments ago. Jimmy the wolf ? Yea no shit I heard o’him, every crook from here to ….other places knows bout em. “He’s mean” they say, “he’s ruthless” they say, “he’s a fuckin mentally ill piss sprayin death machine” they say. Makes me laugh. Suddenly I heard what sounded vaguely like a forehead slammin off the ol hideout door. I set down my colouring book and grabbed a hot dog that I had sharpened into a shiv from under my bed. “Well hot diggity dog” I muttered immediately before accidentally eating my weapon . It was old, worst dog I’d eaten in ages. Sharp too, didn’t help that it went down the wrong tube. My belly was howlin but I wasn’t bout to go out like some punk who couldn’t handle a measly Schneiders. I prepared for the worst and swung the door open to greet my visitor.

9 JIMMY

I spit my licorice on the ground in disgust. “Fuck licorice” I muttered to myself. I banged my forehead on the door, my hand was in no shape for knockin. I was tired of this game, to be honest I don’t even remember why I was lookin for Jumbo Johnny anymore but I was too committed to quit. The door swung open and there he was, Jumbo Johnny in the flesh. Some people called him jaydubs but I refused to do that cause it was a lame nickname in my opinion. “Jimmmmyyyyyy” he bellowed. That was my name, there was a good chance he was talkin to me. “The fuck you doin here?”. I froze. What was I doing there? I had no idea. “Good, you?” I said, like a fucking red nosed clown idiot. “…..what?” Asked Jumbo Johnny tucked comfortably in his ketchup stained wife beater. I felt like a two-bit jelly belly. The pool heaters…. Big Tony took pool heaters and I had a feeling Johnny was responsible so I…..killed a janitor?? Jesus Christ jimmy you’re losing it man this is so pointless. “You’re dumb!” I screamed, knowing deep down it was in fact me who was dumb. “ No jimmy…….” I prayed he didn’t call me dumb. “ YOURE DUMB!” Yelled jaydubs. Fuck, my nightmare had come true. My life was a god damn joke and I could barely even laugh. But I did. “Why the fuck are you laughing you weird fuck?” Asked Jumbo Jimmy or whatever the fuck his name was. “ATLEAST IM NOT A DUMB” I yelled as I flipped double middle fingers with reckless abandon. This was going horribly and I knew it. I had pictures this moment thousands of time and not even once did I imagine myself

Looking so fucking lame. Had I lost my touch ? Did I ever even have a touch? Am I even a detective? I had killed people tonight for this. Tears streamed down my face and in between my pathetic sobs I managed to say “ THIS IS BULLYING” I swung a wild punch at Jumbo Johnny but missed and banged my head off the ATM beside the door. A familiar feeling.

10 OFFICER MCSALTY

“Can’t believe I’m a fuckin cop…..makes no sense” The cruiser’s tires bounced for reasons unknown. “Fuckin potholes” I glanced in the rear view and saw something dragging itself across the street. Something with thumbs. “ that was nooooooot a pothole not at all oopsies “ a normy would fry for that. Not me though cause I’m the planet’s apex predator. A cop who was bullied in high school. “Pick me last in dodgeball? Dodge this” I held my gun out the window tilted 90 degrees. “Pew pew pew gotcha bad guys” my car slammed violently into a hydro pole. Hydron’t really know what happened.

My name is pistol Peter and if you’re reading this, I’m dead. You’ve likely watched me on channel 11 evening news, my soothing voice has undoubtedly echoed throughout your living room at 6pm every weekday. But that was merely an act. I had been living a double life. At first glance you might have thought I was a passionate news anchor, eager to share the forecast with you and your family. Truthfully it all meant nothing to me. The stories, the weather, the sports highlights…..all empty lies. The reality of pistol Peter parkinson is far more complex, far more imperfect and tragic. I was a desperate addict, a terrible husband and a failure of a pet owner. Only my beagle “Liam” truly knew the monster behind my tailored suit and my flawless skin and hair. Well tonight folks, pistol Peter is signing off forever. But first let me tell you how I ended up like this. Cocaine has always been my vice. I had been romanced by heroin, amphetamines, pills and even various cough syrups but the devils dandruff was my first and only true love. My highschool sweetheart if you will. As a young man I used to have a paper route I would work every summer. I was 27 and frustrated, I had never seen a breast in real life and my bike was a rusty hunk of shit and the allure of the internet was turning people off of newspapers. I remember one brisk spring morning, a blanket of dew rested peacefully on the yards of my faithful customers. I veered off the sidewalk and was ensnared by the moist grass. My bike overturned and my body was violently slammed into an unsuspecting garage door. My helmet slammed through the metal and my head was fully in a man’s garage. A middle aged man sat on a lawn chair, surrounded by cold concrete. In front of him on a water cooler was a pack of cigarettes and a mysterious white powder I had never seen before. “Are you government?” The wide eyed man asked “you must have read my files” . I was hopelessly confused and likely suffering from a traumatic head injury. “Bump?” Asked the man as he held a CD case to my face, 4 neatly arranged white lines staring me in my eye. I inhaled and felt the powder enter my nose. It was love at first snort. He was my new best friend and together we crafted ideas and plans never before conceived by mortal men. We talked and talked, within minutes we had mastered such issues as politics and religion. He revealed to me that his wife was a bitch who never cleaned even though she had no job and was home all day. He really seemed to hate her in a very very intense and concerning way. After smoking dozens and dozens of cigarettes he drove me home. My mom could tell by my bloody nose and my lack of my bike that I had been up to mischief that night. My paper says were officially over, as were my bike riding days. That chapter of my life ended in that smoke filled garage but the rolled up bill I used to snort the mystery man’s magic powder doubled as the pen I used to begin writing my life’s newest chapter. The blow chapter.

 My parents were both nerds. They spent their days hiding from each other and being a shell of a marriage. Mom had gotten fat and dad had buried himself on crosswords and sudokus in an attempt to avoid her fatness. Dad used to burn wood in the backyard for hours, anything to avoid mom and her flabby underarms. Their nightly lovemaking began to sound different and it was obvious that their love had evaporated into a dark cloud of sadness. Meanwhile in my room the bunk bed was littered with blow and porn. I was 30 now and my dreams of being a paperboy were long gone. I no longer had any use for the outside world. For the next 8 months I imprisoned myself within the semen stained walls of my bedroom. I snorted and stroked as days turned into months. I no longer heard mother and father bickering from beyond my chamber of sin. I later learned that they had died, father broke his spine trying to hug mother and was trapped beneath her wretched tummy. It didn’t matter. We only had one channel and it would play the news repeatedly throughout the night as I wildly launched my ropes deep into my collection of pleasure socks. As my bloodshot half dead eyes gazed at the television I began to fantasize of life as a news man, as a tv bad boy. I would memorize and recite his catch phrases. The lines between reality and fantasy and reality began to blur. At some point during my evolution Peter ceased to exist and “pistol Peter, the voice of the evening news” was born. My audience consisted of a mirror and a stuffed teddy bear, plastered in semen. At first they hated me. But I grew on them and eventually they loved me. This satisfied me at first but like all pleasures, I eventually grew bored of it. One night in a horny rage I slaughtered the helpless teddy bear and held a knife to my own throat. I was a joke and no amount of jacking could cure the pain of being a failure. I waded through the knee deep semen to my door and kicked it open. As I stepped over my parents skeletons and into the hallway I decided that it was time to rejoin society. I had no idea how difficult it would be. What the fuck is a bus? What the fuck is a job? I gave up immediately.

 My parents Buick was desperate for a new owner following their inexplicable death. I had seen people driving on the news and it didn’t look hard so I decided I owned it now. It had pedals and a wheel inside it, a complex system, completely foreign to me. The only thing I had ever drove up until then was a shit bike and that nearly killed me. It was risky but I decided to roll the dice. I sat in the back seat and yelled at the car to start. No luck. I began sobbing, completely defeated. The driveway was my prison that year. Countless cars drove past my house, almost as if they were taunting me. This plan was a complete bust and quickly realized that adult cars were nothing like dinky cars. I began to wonder how much news I had missed while driveway bound. I missed my room, and even more so missed my dad and kinda my fat mom. I considered going back in the house but new owners had moved in and they looked nerdy and not worthy of speaking to. Besides, my front door was atleast 4 feet away, my frail malnourished body was no longer capable of a journey so gruelling. I was sure my dream of being a newsman playboy was dead. 

 One morning after an especially violent questionable wet dream I woke up to what I thought must have been a feverish hallucination. It was him. The newsman man from the news, Mere feet away from me in my driveway. He was pointing at me. “This can’t be real” I thought to myself. I had been using a grocery bag as a toilet for 14 months, and it had begun overflowing onto the seats and floor surrounding me for quite some time. Atleast 13 and a half months. I had been noticing a foul smell in the car and even though I had been strategically placing air fresheners amongst the booty mud it was as if the smell was getting worse by the day.  Could it be? Was I going to be on the news? I cracked the door open and flopped out onto the gravel. My body hit the ground and made a sound reminiscent of a wet bag of raw meat being thrown in a bucket. I stood up and awkwardly approached my hero, arms outstretched looking for a hug. He looked at me and it was clear that he hated hugging. I decided I would be willing to settle for a kiss on his cheek but yet again he hated that. I was devastated and embarrassed, I told him that I watched him throughout the night for years. He hated that. This guy seemed to hate everything and if I’m being honest, he was kind of rude. He told me to fuck off and I couldn’t believe that we had already crafted our first inside joke together. I noticed multiple cameras aimed directly at me and suddenly realized that all my work had finally paid off. I had finally made it on the news.

  Life in the spotlight was even more incredible than I ever could have imagined. The evening news had given me the clever moniker “The Doo-Doo Demon”. Men wanted me and women wanted to be me. I had hellish wet dreams in which I was transformed into a ferret with car tires instead of legs. Wet nightmares, if you will. I tried kissing women as they passed me on the streets. Nearly all of them inexplicably denied my smooch. The idea of kissing a Hollywood hunk intimated them to the point of calling the police and pepper spraying me and not allowing me to leave until the police came. My dads skeleton continued to rot on the porch of my old house. Worms wriggled from out of his eyeholes and I could sense that he was proud of me. Moms skeleton was ugly and kinda gay. Not many people know this but the word news actually stands for “never ever wet sandwich” which to this day still rings true. Only dry sandwich. I waltzed into the channel 6 headquarters with the confidence of a young heartthrob. “It’s me, pistol” I said to the receptionist. “I’m the news hunk” I said to the same receptionist. She was deaf, doing computer things. I slipped past her with ease. I was greeted by a nostalgic sight, as if my past was punching me directly in the face. The channel 6 news desk, unoccupied and practically begging for my butt to sit behind it. I sat on the desk with my back to the camera. “ check out my news” I said. “In local times a storm is winning the match so drive safe uncle gordy “ the words dropped out of my mouth, bringing a gallon of drool along for the ride.  I felt like a fish that had finally been put in the water after decades on land. This was where I belonged. I bit into an extension cord and was brutally electrocuted. The city turned to black, all streetlights left without power. Flames erupted atop my head and a cacophony of screams filled the room. They loved me. Dogs wildly howled in the darkness and I even heard a homeless man scream something vaguely referring to aliens. I had firmly planted my flag atop newsboy mountain. 

I literally was the most important guy in the world. I was doing a ton of cocaine every day and I was the fucking man. You should have seen me. Mere months ago I was a nobody and here I was, a newsy. My electrocution wounds were healing nicely and feeling was returning to my legs. Peter was back. The big wigs were desperately searching the country for a co-host who could match my intense passion. I told them “ good luck with that”. I didn’t even mean it, truthfully I didn’t give a shit whether they had good luck or not. I could do it myself, same way I always did.  I had lost 65 pounds and my nose was essentially permanently destroyed. I slept once every 3 weeks for a maximum of 17 minutes and for some reason I kept thinking someone else was with me but they had left. There might have been a dog at some point. I would rehearse during the day, trying to guess what news stories would take place that night, it was near impossible. My dad was no help, him and my mom had essentially cut ties with me. Maybe this news life wasn’t for me after all. Nah it for sure was . It’s so obvious it was. I forgot how to park a car and killed 11 interns in the parking lot one evening. I tried to blame them for standing too close to me while I was parking but the security footage revealed that they were at fact at a restaurant 3 miles away. I felt no remorse or sympathy for them or their families. People die a lot like all the time , 9/11 killed dozens more people than I ever did and even that barely got any attention on the news. I don’t care about anyone or anything. I started wearing sunglasses while doing the news and as you’d expect my pussy fuckin output skyrocket . I had sex 4 times in June alone, 7 if you count jacking off. Hookers began to fear me, I had developed something of a reputation. They called me “the hooker killer” but thankfully I kicked that habit after the city ran out of hookers due to a serial killer killing all of them.  It was as though I was in the spotlight every night, I was literally though. My parents had abandoned me and I began hearing rumours that they had began living secret lives as skeletons. My mom and I never really saw eye to eye, she was a fat cunt with fucked up nipples and she jogged weird. Stupid fuckin bitch fuck man I hate her retard face. Wish she was dead. Although I enjoyed the news, sometimes the headlines felt trivial; “Local boy ages and becomes local man, local man builds Time Machine and reverts to local boy, my mom is a cunt, news anchor kills hookers then writes book, tall dog robs yet another bank”. Truthfully between you and I and the millions of people reading this book and the millions of people that will be told the contents of this book by the millions who read the book, I still wasn’t satisfied. I needed a change, so I replaced my diaper with a fresh one and skipped down the street  holding hands with a man I did not know. The government and the local beekeepers were conspiring against me but it wasn’t a big deal and it never really crossed my mind. It’s crazy how the news works. I noticed the weather seemed to have a pattern, it would be cold and then just when you felt like you had a handle on things it would change to warm, then Halloween would come.

I decided it was time to confront my parents. It was as if they hadnt even noticed their sons meteoric rise to stardom. I grabbed the bumper of a city bus as it passed and was dragged across town to my old house. I gave the bus driver a generous tip as i released the bus and slid teeth first up my old driveway. My father was resting in a whebarrow with his limbs detached and a family of pigeons living in his skull hole. He didnt even acknowledge me. “Its me pa” I struggled to speak as tears streamed down my face. “Its your boy pa” his head rolled gracefully off his collarbones. “So thats how it is huh?” I was enraged. I squared up to my old man and began fighting him with the intensity of a wolf. He absorbed my punches, barely flinching. “ DONT U EVEN CARE PA? WHY WONT U LOVE ME PA?” I tipped his wheelbarrow over in a blind rage and noticed he had clearly been dead for atleast 4 years. I glanced in the shrubs bordering our yard and noticed ma getting raped by an army of chipmunks. Good, i thought. I gave my dad one last kiss and spit on my