If my body turned cold today, would you miss me tomorrow? When you see my cold face and my pale skin would you regret everything you never said? Would you regret everything you ever did to me? Every touch. Every word. Every second spent on those Tuesday nights. Would you want it all back? I want to get into your head like you did mine. I want to walk those twisted roads in your brain. I want to know everything your thinking about. Every feeling you possess and every thought that runs across your mind. Tell me what your thinking. Tell me everything you didn’t get to. Please?

When all goes to shit When everything’s alright Through thick and thin Back me up in a fight All it took was a boy To tear that apart Generation by generation My grandma and my mom Girl against girl is how we lose, don’t you see? My trauma, baby, was from my dad and a boy Why did you add to it too? Why not find someone new? Who’s deserving of what you did to us? Who’s left to trust?

It started with family It began with friends Born was a cycle That will never end

Too hurt to cry Body be numb How else will they love Unless I am dumb

Be blonde and brunette 600 calories a day Maybe if I was skinny They would like me more that way

Kiss too many to count Let so many in Make my lock easy to pick Easily stabbed like a pin

Claw without a scratch Draw blood but don’t bleed One’s that love, I hate they stay But I want the ones who leave

Look for validation Crave it 24/7 Will I ever have more Than 7 minutes in heaven

I am scared they’ll see The scars that were left Push away the ones who care Felt so alone I wept

What do I want Do I know this girl Alone she’s wandered Alone in this world

For they won’t see They hear but don’t listen Like fool’s gold My attention does glisten

They say not my circus They state not my monkeys But if I don’t have a story Is there much more of me

I ruin all that’s good Familiar with the pain I’m scared if I heal Will I bore the next day

For they don’t really care Do and say so I must But if I don’t trust myself Who’s [there] left to trust

The first to break my heart was my mother.

A mother is meant to soothe and hold you Not to glare and scold you.

She is meant to love you through it all. Not to tell you that it’s your fault.

And when you confide in her, she’s meant to believe you. What she’s never supposed to do is leave you.

Yes my mother was the first to let me down, the first to break my heart. And if you can’t trust the one who raised you, then what? Who’s left to trust?

Had a best friend. Been a long time since we spoke. If she wants to talk, She can leave a message at the tone. Fake friends and self centred bitches, Bullies and brats, Never knew so many people were rats. Everyone leaves. Why would they stay? All they want is to get their way. So many liers making my doors shut. So many fakes making walls go up. Who’s actually there for me? Who’s left to trust?

There’s a saying, If you were in a room, With everyone you’ve ever known, Would anyone pick you? Would anyone look specially for you? Would anyone want to find you? Want to stand by your side, And say I pick her?

When I can’t sleep, And the ceiling is the only thing I can see, I think about that, And I wonder would anyone pick me? And I don’t think they would. I go through all the candidates, And I always find someone else for them.

Then I met Her. And everything changed. She looked for me at school, And texted me if I wasn’t there. She helped me when I needed it, And hugged me when I was down.

Then when I couldn’t sleep, And the ceiling was the only thing I could see, And I thought about it, I thought she would pick me.

She left, And told me I wasn’t enough.

And now when I can’t sleep, And the ceiling is the only thing I can see, I wonder, Who’s left to trust?

Whos left to trust. I dont know at this point, I cant trust nobody not even myself. The worlds too harsh to trust anyone so I give up.

hot coals searing my skin arms thighs back lips cheeks

hot poison pooling your words relax know breathe fun enjoy

hot lava boils in my blood please please Please Please PLEASE

hot fruity soap stinging my eyes scrub my self clean again

who's left to trust?

"sorry, can't" You lied

"I didn't want to start drama" You did

"I'm sorry" Your not

"I care" You don't

"She is a good friend" You sure about that?

"It was already planned" You were lied to

"We never talk bad about you" You do

"I want to be friends" Who's left to trust?

I aint angry… You can see that in my eyes. “Just hold on to me” Your bad dreams will become lies.

I aint sad… You can feel it across my shoulders. “It isnt that bad” Your tears will soon be hers

I aint lost… You can hear it in my heart beat. “At what cost?” Next to you is my favourite seat.

I am happy… And my smile will never rust. “You can finally see” That there’s no one else i would trust.

…

Love you R