I stood on the bridge looking down at the vast sea below and how it shimmered in the darkness, reflecting the moonlight.

Tears rolled down my cheeks one after another as the memory of that evening replayed in my mind.

Coming home from work. Changing my clothes. Making the decision. Scribbling down a note for Sebastian to find when he got home. Getting in the car. Starting up the gps and last but not least, arriving here in the dead of night with 26 missed calls.

I closed my fist around the railing and took a shaky breath.

The water below looks so inviting. So serene and calm. So gentle…

…as it waits to drown my body.

I’ve tried everything. Therapy. Medication. Meditation. Exercise. Alcohol. Self harm. Nothing works. Now all I have left…

…is the alternative.

(Quick and Short. Writing Streak Almost Lost😭😭😭!)

 Worlds upon worlds, realms and dimensions of all sorts of different ways to explore the unknown and find out more. More about this theory known as never dying. Never dying is the only goal. It’s a town secret here in Pinkwan County. Where everything *was* pink. There’s about 30,000 people who live here. Only about 100, maybe 200, people are in on the plan. The plan they call “The Forever Alternative.” Where humans who qualify, may be let into the system, and be transported to “AlternativeT.”

The first and most creative idea humans have had. To get into “AlternativeT”, oh you must kill your own adored and loved ones.

It's the same thing.

Over and over and over.

Look around, and you'll see dull eyes which have lost their delight, a monotonous voice, blank features with no real focal point, shuffling footsteps, and the occasional, but rare, miserable sigh.

The highlight of the day, which brings out at least a groan, is the morning.

Every morning begins with a choice.

All of us have been instructed to choose Repeat, over and over. The teachers scold us, warn us, desperately plead with us. All we have to choose is Repeat.

The one thing constantly ruling our heads every night, every waking hour, is Repeat. Nothing else trumps the thought of Repeat.

Just Repeat.

Never the Alternative.

Today was Repeat.

The day begins with waking up, snoozing the universal alarm of 5:30 AM, take a cold shower at the exact temperature, wear a color that you have been given to by the committee, eat one last of bread, and go out to perform your Daily Activities.

3:30 in the afternoon is the time for Friendly Meet up. Today I was scheduled to meet with Ran.

Ran and I went into the private room. Of course, "private" isn't an existing thing in our nation. There are hidden bugs, monitoring our conversation.

"Hello," I say, the customary line for Friendly Meet Up.

"Hello," Ran replies, adjusting her beige-yellow shirt. She sits down on the chaos, brushing off the dirt with an uncommon look of distaste. Ran adjusted her chair to directly face mine with a furrowed brow.

"Ran, I have something troubling to inform you about." This is the ordinary line if we have something worrying to report.

"Yes?"

"The days are just repetitive. I want something new."

"You could always choose The Alternative," Ran whispered, dull eyes finally increasing in passion.

"What?" I say, stunned. I rapidly blink, trying to processs what I heard. I momentarily freeze.

"I will repeat what I said. Choose the Alternative."

"No one's ever done that before," I whisper.

"Yes, they have!" Ran replies, incredelous. "My mom chooses the Alternative, and you’ve seen her just yesterday."

"Really?" I ask, dumfounded.

"Yes, " Ran says, eyes suddenly shifting. Beads of sweat appeared on her forehead.

Suddenly, three men in space suits come in and take Ran away. Ran screams, and I am sitting in shock.

Ran's gone.

The next morning I choose The Alternative.

Curiosity really does kill the cat.

Everything seems normal until nightfall. Today I'm meeting with Maddie. Maddie's really a bore to speak to, but to say that would be rude.

Nightfall.

I'm getting ready to perform my 10 minute shower when I black out.

"Where...?"

I see myself.

Wide eyes. Button nose. Hair in a neat bun.

The only thing wrong is the smile.

She is my Replacement.

My Alternative.

I try to scream but a hand silences me.

Ran.

My Alternative speaks. "Pleasure doing business with you."

Ran smiles. "A pleasure indeed."

“jacklyn? Are you ready?” David strides down the hallway following the smell of Shea butter and roses.

“Baby are you ready for dinner?” David pokes his head in the bathroom and watches her curl her hair. he smiles as he takes in her focused face.

“I feel you staring David” David giggles “youre just so freaking beautiful Erin.”

Erin smiles and gets up to face him. “Well do like it?” She’s wearing a satin green dress, her curls fall in front of her eyes. She has these sliver flashy heels.

“You’re stunning and I can’t wait to celebrate us tonight.”

Erin grabs her purse and they both head downstairs to the car.

“David I know you wanted to go to the Ivy but can we try the rose grill? I’ve never been and chelsea said the food is great.”

David’s heart sinks for a second as he closes the driver door. “The rose grille? Are you sure ? Tom told me it the food is bad” David clenches his jaw a little bit. Erin frowns.

“oh well. Maybe the Ivy is fine” Erin puts on her seatbelt and David pulls off. David shakes his head but keeps driving. the alternative would be to give her what she wants. But he can’t. He can’t take her to the place he met Rebecca. The blonde hair flashes in his head and he can almost smell her cherry perfume. he lets out a sigh and turns the radio up. The thoughts don’t leave and now he’s gripping the steering wheel.

“Baby are you okay?”

“I’m .. fine” he swallows hard and back into his head he goes.

The rose grille is a place he frequents often to see her. that’s how he met Rebecca, she was tending the bar, and after a few drinks their hooking up past closing in the back. the affair has been going on for a few months now. It’s gotten to the point where he needs to see her twice a week. Sometimes three when Erin goes to yoga and brunch. Now here he is celebrating being newly engaged. It was only suppose to be one time, but she has become addicting. The quickies, the late night text/phone calls. He’s afraid he may even love her too.

They pull into the Ivy and head inside. David gives the reservation name and they are seated. there’s rose pedals on the table, Erin’s favorite wine waiting in the ice bucket. David pulls Erin’s seat out, she sits and David does as well. Erin blushes and fills her glass.

David is staring at his empty glass and then looks at Erin’s sparkling ring. He whispers “alternative”

Erin looks up from her menu. “What honey? What alternative?” Shit she heard him. David can feel his hands sweating.

“ I was just thinking about the alternative ring. There was another ring I was looking at.”

Erin smiles. “Well this one is just as perfect as you handsome.” David smiles and calls the waiter over. “Can I get a glass of scotch? On the rocks” The waiter nods and heads to the bar.

Erin scrunches her face, she looks concerned. “Baby are you okay? You only order scotch when something is bothering you.”

David loves and hates that Erin knows him so well. He can either lie or tell the truth. Make her cry or tell her his job is bothering him.

“i just rather not talk about it, let’s enjoy our night”

The scotch hits the table and David wastes no time and shoots the glass back. The ice clinks in the glass as it settles on the table.

“are you sure you’re okay. talk to me”

David taps the table, the decision is made time to speak the truth.

“I don’t think this is the right time and you’ll probably never talk to me again.”

“That’s not true whatever it is I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

David shakes his head. “I’m fine can we please just drop it.”

“fine”

Erin looks at the menu and calls the waiter over.

“Can I get chicken instead of Shirmp”

The waiter nods and leaves. David takes the wine on the table and has a few sips. his heart begins to race and for some reason the room is spinning.

“Okay we need to talk, I fucked up, and I’ll probably lose you after this. But I slept with someone and I think I’m in love with her.

“Are you leaving me for her?”

In a world where all options need to be evaluated and reassessed before making a choice, knowing your alternatives is primordial. It is often what can save one’s life.

In a world where alternatives matter more than gold, it is rare to see a soul unbothered by their choices, untouched by bouts of stress and anxiety. However, that is how James lives their life. Their decision on living away from what is expected, ironically makes them the most important alternative this world has needed since its creation. James is living embodiment of a new world, a world we solely need.

There are some people in this world Who are perfect. Perfect hair. Perfect face. Perfect smile.

There are people who are good at everything. Sports. Music. Painting. Writing. Singing.

These people are smart. Never a grade Lower than an A.

These people Everyone knows Their name.

These people are loved. People want them. Hell, people want to be them.

This is the main character.

Then there’s another. Someone who doesn’t belong. This person has limp hair. And dull eyes. A boring smile.

They can’t seem to do anything right. Can’t run. Can’t draw. Can’t sing.

Straight Bs on their report card. A disappointment To their parents. A disappointment To their friends.

No one wants this person. Why would they. What’s to love. Heartbreak After heartbreak. They’re used to it by now.

Welcome to the life of the alternative. The one who’s forgotten. The side character. A nameless face in someone else’s story.

Would anyone notice If the alternative were to. Disappear Would anyone care. Or would it be like They never existed At all?

I wouldn’t notice if I was gone. I wouldn’t care. I’d move on. No tears shed At all. I might as well leave. Might as well die. Because it’s not like it would matter To anyone Anyway.

She couldn’t look in the mirror. She was afraid of what she might see. She was used to her dirty blonde curls. Not the blank face monster that would look back at her. She chanced a glance at the mirror’s reflective surface, slightly clouded with age. She had to quickly divert her gaze back to her feet. It wasn’t her. It wasn’t her. The black face in the mirror. The glaring, silver eyes. It wasn’t her. It was never going to be her. She would make sure of that.

You see me as worthless, angry, and narrow minded. You discipline me, ignore me, and treat me with no respect. You never try to understand me, reconcile with me, or hear my words. You taught me to hate myself, to let words burn me, and to not respect anything that I am. You were supposed to teach me, Help me, And let me learn in my own time yet you left me with no hope, no love, and only hatred in my mind.

But know this, you have not broken me…

I see myself as full of strength, mindfulness, and competence. I listen, I observe, and I pursue my passion. I understand my heart, My thoughts, and perspective. I teach myself to not trust, love, or follow negative individuals around me. I seek opportunities, Challenges, And hope.

You may have tried to break me But you can’t break someone who’s already broken

I will preserve…

A new day has risen, but am I still "her". The other one inside me, I stare at the ceiling not wanting to look in the mirror. I'm scared to see my face to see if "she" is still a part of me. The shock came my face as fast as I looked up; such long dark firey red hair hang in my face. Dark maroon colored my lips up against the firey red of my skin I've never seen this side of me before and I know it's not who I truly am. I begin to inspect my hand and notice the long nails that grow longer when I stretch out my fingers. Who have I become, is this a dream? Oh please let it be, but suddenly, this aching upset inside me, not understanding why this has happened to me, what did I ever do wrong to deserve this. What type of witchery is this! Or could it be something else, could it be that something deeper does exist... I thought back to my last memory, Justin, holding me close and going in to kiss me slowly but suddenly a noise from afar, something rang inside my ears. A call from someone I needed to respond to, someone who... Controlled me. That's it! But who, who is it that controls me, and why would they do this to me?

Before speaking, the narrator gave a deep breath and sighing as he flipped through the script.

I, the narrator of this narrator going to narrate this, will let the narrator continue.

“Coming to his senses, John realized what he had done. His mind scrambled, thinking about what to do after this. Should I escape, wear a wig, live my life as an old lady? He thought, but laughing at that idea a moment later.”

A puppet theater arose from the dark room into the spotlight. Gray skyscrapers were painted on the back carvings. The bottom completely black. Showing a dystopian world, it ended before it could begin. It being bombed in front of you.

It might’ve been intentional, who actually knew if it ended. Perhaps this was part of the theater.

The TV turned on again and showed the countryside.

“In this silent paradise a train rumbled through the trees to the fields, the cows chewing the grass, pigs rolling in the mud, and a man fishing in the small pond.”

Flickering, the TV showed a man setting down his fishing rod and reach for his book.

The book was quite worn out yet still looked cared for. Acting 101, huh.

The TV screen was not flickering at this time, the lamp was. Yet you concentrated on the screen, as you were told to, you saw something as your eyes strained to blink. The man in the countryside was facing the screen. His gaze piercing you, even when distanced, it was almost threatening.

He mouthed something towards the screen, towards you. ‘Not the chosen but the alternative.’ You couldn’t read the words before that but you were sure that he was addressing you and you only.

“The man suddenly had a heart attack, despite his healthy nature. No one around to help him he laid there, experiencing terrible pain.”

The last sentence sounded personal and a bit glad that the man was dead now.

The room suddenly made you feel a chill down your spin, well, to be exact it wasn’t the room but the nature of the room. A gut feeling told you that the man died of unnatural causes.

The lamp above you flickered yet again. You didn’t like this anymore. Despite being strapped to a chair you tried to move, to escape.

Tipping the chair, you fell to the cold, concrete ground. You were scooting, hopping almost, to the small crevice in the wall. Your hand reaching for it and- feeling a harsh pain you wince. You instinctively look up to see the source of pain, it’s a man. Not the man from the screen, he died from the heart attack.

The man smiled with crescent eyes. When he spoke you instantly recognized him. The man who was narrating in the TV. Crushing your hand he stopped. But that didn’t make you any less afraid.

“Please don’t do anything to-“

Last words, and thing, you can remember is him looking down coldly while saying good luck.