A pin drop could fall but not break the empty vast Storms could echo through this room but not last As the only echo is nothingness The clank from the pin feels like the thunder Roaming around the storms making a heartbeat pump The beating goes around fast But a life doesn’t last Listening to the dreadful silence I hear no more heartbeat A pin did drop and did break the empty vast Making my petrified scream last A pin did

Fall.

Like the rain I hear muffling my ears, Silencing myself once more. Believing a pin drop fell breaking the empty vast Storms could echo through this room and they last

The silence is deafening It hurts my head The thoughts are echoing and my brain is aching for peace The lights are out and i wonder is something lurks inside preying on me when i am alone I can hear my mind telling me I am not enough I can feel my brain shutting down I can feel my body repulsing at itself when I look in the mirror I can sense everything around me I can hear the stars mocking me I can hear the wind laugh at me I can even hear the way the water curls away This silence is so loud I can hear a pin drop and I can hear an angels wings I can feel the tiny voices creeping up on me This silence is so loud I have never felt such a thing It is painful agonizing even I can hear the way people stare and I can hear the way people judge I swear I can hear everyone around me telling me I am not good enough This silence is so loud I need sound to fill this space but instead i am alone in the dark with my monsters and my ugly face

…

🫀

Screaming and shouting all that I knew A chaotic familiar sounds since I was around two

Caring or concern? Feelings I fail to feel They still don’t see The permanent scars that left a hold on me

Not knowing life was not designed to be so cruel
Nightly recall of the life I once knew Fueled by alcohol and transactional apologies Perhaps thinking it corrected the fears they left in me

Unconditional love, far from my grasp Convinced I am never to experience that Traumatic experiences your mind can’t erase Night terrors and my body shaken Recalling the parts of me that were taken away

Silent tears while I am driving No one notices , even when Im not hiding The mascara that covers my eyes The salty tears streaming down

Scared of the dark “No” How could I be? I know the monsters who live with me

The ones sent to protect me Did the opposite instead The feelings of inadequacy Still dance in my head…

Silence in my life never to exist Peace and serenity, not high on my list Born into this chaos and disorder as they wanted it to be Turning to an escape outside of me

Never a quiet moment to soothe my soul To bring closure from memories past Or plug the holes

I took things to numb or hide from my pain To make believe it would go away Never enough, never will be It is often empty inside me

I hide with a smile or a smart ass remark All the pain that comes when it’s dark

To bring these to the surface would only expose. Where I came from and the hell I know.

The dreadful silence , it lingers on ,long after you’ve been gone. I couldn’t tell what was worse , the silence or the violence. Pretending I was dead, Ignoring me to the sickest depths of time. Or beating me down emotionally, Physically, psychologically and sexually.

The dreadful silence. I thought I was going _insane, _****From all the brainwashing gaslighting, and torture. Holding us hostage in our newly built home. You took all the keys and phones. I just had my close to 10th surgery . Instead of helping me, you starved me, and I found out you were cheating. But now I’m here all alone, in this black ,hollow hole. There’s nothing, just invisible me. In this void of emptiness. I turn on my tv, constantly for company. I cut at my hair, theres not much there anymore ,from my obsessive tendencies. Lack of sleep, of food, and death threats, a single mom so sick herself.

*_The dreadful silence _ Things are looking bleak. Time just bleeds together _ into a river of tears, from years Of suffering and misery. I wish I could skate away far from here. Hopelessly Hopeless& overthinking everything. Even the smallest of Things seem like major decisions for me.

_The dreadful silence _ I’m running around in fight or flight ,looking like I’m going crazy. I can’t sleep until it’s daylight because I have to protect my little boy. So I’m stuck on this hamster wheel And I can’t get off ,even when I’m In excruciating _pain. I’m _so tired I’m _Passing out , _but I keep fighting it. As this _dreadful silence _ has become a part of me, but, its becoming smaller and smaller every day .I focus on the good, and helping others. I’m grateful and blessed for everything. God has gotten me through, as always. I’m a Survivor!

There I’m standing Here in a cave Endless, isn’t it?

Darkness beyond Really just pretty Everything should sing A song, like how it was before Don’t be afraid to sing Finally, a faint lullaby hits my ears Unfortunately, it’s not what I think Like the dark, the song is silent

Songs are meant to sing, but not this one Its not as a sound, but a feeling Lulling me to sleep “Enough,” I try to say Not a word comes from my mouth Can’t you hear me? Eventually I sleep, but never wake

A breath of death between the sheets; I am the Queen of darkness, and devils live in me...

Dead voices echo, haunted in the rain. Upon the sky, night begins to stain. Ink and star dust make up my soul. It's because I've never truly been in love at all. In odd worlds, though. Oh, do I roam. Weaving my hands with a lovers embrace. Like dreamcatchers holding space, between time, and hearts, and his vacant face...

-HMG

The dreadful silence whispers in my ear, Pulling me further into the dark abyss. My eyes lose their light, My strength loses its might— I am weak and helpless.

The dreadful silence taunts my lips, But i cannot speak, For it’s tied my tongue into a knot, One unable to untie—I’m caught.

This dreadful silence must stop, For it is my number one opp.

How dare you !? You say you miss me and want me and then disappear. You acted like I was important, You included me in your life.

You lie to me and I allow it I acted like I didn’t clock it. I admit, I resigned my feelings and became a projection of what you desired.

This entire time you’re acting like I’m making this up in my head. This isn’t all in my head !!

The silence between us, This period of no contact, This game we play, I’m over it.

Your priorities and mine don’t align, But I’m intertwined. I received and accepted your energy. Knowing we could never be.

I’m so stupid !

I pray I’m haunting you like you haunt me. I hope thoughts of me disturb your mind and prevents you from sleep and you feel incomplete.

I oversleep with hopes that I see you struggle in my dreams.

Delete me!

I’m done with this wash and repeat. You creep !!!!!

Ughhhh! What are you thinking ? What did I do to deserve this high pitch stilly. I fight myself not to call and lash you with my tongue. My lungs hurt from the trapped screams unsung.

Would you even care?! I’d be wasting my breath, While you stay in stealth.

You acted like what happened between us was my desperate attempt to connect.

You dick !

I hope regret hits you like a brick I refuse to break, As the silence tick on.

Silence Lips moving No speaking Cars colliding No immediate reaction to help Birds flapping their wings Yet I can't hear a thing What torture it is Without my hearing aides Kids crying for their moms Couples laughing holding hands Yet I feel so alone In a world without sound Whereas others have no issues And it all seems so profound They mistake silence for rudeness When silence is all I have How can I be comfortable with sound When I try to speak my words just don’t come out I can only imagine how it sounds Please be patient with me somehow

———- This poem is inspired by the deaf community and one my family members who wears a hearing aide due to extremely low hearing. I am not deaf nor do I claim to fully understand it, but this is my interpretation of it. I hope I did it some justice. IMO sign language should be taught in all schools.

sometimes the silence is louder than the noise was ever to begin