The taste of lust on your lips I ingnore the feel of sparks on my hips I more than indure

Your sweet chery face and your smile worth a million miles reminds me of someone i once loved Your touch a thousand times more powerful that before

I tangle in your hair lips meeting tounges jousting a flare of something Not sure what

A fire unextinguighable A light never to be dimmed A promise never to be broken

You skin soft on mine your hand gentle and kind I love the way you move and the way you talk

I feel you in every room I am in But to you I was only a fling a hook up So farewell my almost lover

Your love was a moth’s wing pinned to my chest, and every beat— God, it stung. I’d have swallowed the whole moon for you, if only to feel something bigger than the guilt that dripped from your tongue.

We called it love, but it was a bloodletting, your hands always at my throat, mine always somewhere I shouldn’t have reached.

Do you remember the park bench, where you said “forever” like you meant next Tuesday? I smiled and said “me too” because I was too tired to ask what kind of liar you wanted me to be.

Somewhere between your cigarette burns and the bruises I wore like second skin, I started naming the stars after all the ways you could kill me— mercy was never one of them.

And still, I begged for your touch, each kiss a noose tightening— until I forgot the sound of my name and only knew the echo of yours.

What do you do with a love that makes you hate yourself? Do you bury it? Burn it? Write it letters it will never read? I’ve done all three, and still, it lives in my lungs, every breath I take a scream I’ve swallowed whole.

But I’ve learned this much: there’s no such thing as “almost.” There’s only the wreckage of what wasn’t and the ghosts of what could’ve been.

So go. Take your knives. Take your half-empty promises and that grin that could cut glass.

I’ll build a tomb for the girl who loved you— the one who thought she could save you. She’ll rot there quietly, her hands folded in prayer, her mouth full of dirt.

And I’ll walk away this time. Not because I’m strong, but because there’s nothing left.

Farewell, my almost lover.

I’m not a fan of October. I don’t like the orange leaves, the first crunch, the spooky season, the pumpkin spice lattes, the cold chill in the air. That was until I meat Autumn. She changed everything.

I saw her in a coffee shop, she had a sweet smile and cinnamon swirl eyes. She was sitting at a table with a book. Every once in a while she’d glance up and look at me, and I’d find myself wracking my brain for every reason not to go over there. But I did. When she smiled and said “hi” I felt something warm in my heart. I sat down and we talked. I gave her my number. She called. We talked nearly every day, we went out on what I presumed were dates. She held my hand, she laughed with me, took photos with me, she looked after me when I was sick.

“That’s just what friends do”

Soon October was leaving and November was coming and I tried my best to grip onto Autumn for as long as I could, but all the leaves stopped crunching, and all the pumpkins grew mould.

I loved Autumn, but I hated the fall, she said goodbye. I turned my back.

“Farewell, my almost lover.”

A picture on my phone I recognize this face For many years it has been known Always left a special trace.

And then I do what I do best I know I can do this I say out loud And think and write a dumb text Not even a typo, making me proud

And then a fantasy turns around Like an old brown and dusty globe now I am able to say I found the courage to whisper: I hope-

Hope that has never been my friend But I am blinded once again Not seeing the nearing end Of the love story with my Ken.

My Ken as beautiful as the moon, Like the last golden sunshine, He is October and not June He’s 7 times 7 equals 49

He looks like autumn forest green And smells like old spices He is the opposite of mean And knows how to solve a crisis.

He doesn’t care what others say Doesn’t follow any dumb trends But as fast as he was here he went away Making me realize all good ends.

For me good never becomes great People usually title me as rougher Then the people they wanna date, So Farewell my almost lover.

I stare at you Longing for you to notice Waiting for the day when you realize That we are meant to be

My mind filled with thoughts of you Hoping yours are filled with me Even though I know they aren’t

99.9% That’s how much I’m sure But that .1% keeps me going Keeps me longing for you

It keeps me up at night Running scenarios through my brain And makes my heart race when I hear my phone ding

But why?

I’m not like those girls With their Lulu or their winged eyes Or their flat stomachs and tiny thighs I don’t have that

So I’m just going to say goodbye To the possibilities To getting my hopes up To him

Farewell, my almost lover

The world goes silent. “Did you know,” I yell at my best friend. Her brother. I repeat myself even louder when he doesn’t respond. He looks sad. Maybe even confused. He should’ve known. I should’ve known. I run out of the house. I can’t be there is she can’t be either. I feel like I can’t breathe. There’s cop cars. An ambulance. This can’t be happening. “She’s not gone,” I want to yell. But I can’t. Deep down I know she is. But she can’t be. She can’t be gone. If she’s gone what’s the point. The point of being here without out her? What’s the point of getting so close just for her to be pulled away from me. Pulled out of existence. Pulled by herself. I can’t help but be mad. How could she do this? I would’ve helped her if she just told me. I wish she just would’ve told me. I look up at the night sky, tears streaming down my face. My whole world just fell apart. Fell apart the second she left it.

 I look down at him. I feel guilty that I’m the reason he feels this way. But I couldn’t do it anymore. There was no hope for me left. I feel like I’m crying but I can’t do that anymore. I’m gone. I can feel close to actually feeling emotions. I can reach for them. They can get so close. But I’ll never quite hold them again. They pull away. I’m gone. I can’t go back. I hope he knows I loved him. I wish I could show him that. I wish we could act on our potential love. But we didn’t. It’s too late for that. Goodbye my dear. Goodbye forever. I’ll see you someday. Farewell, my almost lover.

We were crazy to think we could actually be together. I think I fell in love with you the first day I met you, it wasn’t the sex that did it for me. It was simply your mind, the way you think. I can see it when you look at me the way you do. Our hearts beat at the rhythm of one I know I could never be enough for you. When you think of my name remember and say she loved me I mean she really did love me. I feel it in my blood and bones I’d risk the whole world for you. Farewell, my almost lover.

Yesterday was a blur All I remember is holding onto her Clinging to her like a rope I held her close to me My arms were around her shoulders My head was laid in the slope of her neck Her arm was around me gently She prayed over me quietly As I sobbed in her arms

Now we’re on the bus back She’s seated in front of me She tells me that she’s anxious of traveling Makes her even more homesick So I text back asking her if Holding her hand would help No answer I wait … … Her hand slips through the crack between The window and chair I reach out and grab her hand Holding it gently I can see her reflection in the window She’s facing the window Her head is leaning against her chair Eyes closed as she takes deep breaths Her knees are pulled to her chest I stroke my thumb over her hand A tiny smile shows on her face Then she falls asleep Her breathing slows Her hand goes limp in mine

Hours later The bus pulls up to the building I tap her hand She slowly stirs awake Her eyes are heavy and dark I smile as she comes back to reality

Everyone gets off the bus Gets their things Heads off I watch as she tugs her bag off the shelf Walk towards her family But then she drops everything And leaps into a man’s arms He looks to be her uncle She smiles as he puts her down And helps put her stuff away My mom calls my name And pulls me into her arms It feels so good to be back

I look back at the girl Her eyes are going through the crowd Probably looking for me Then our eyes meet She gives me a soft smile as her family Pulls her into the car Dang it I never got her number Well… Farewell my almost lover

Farewell, my almost lover Goodbye, my almost prince I gave my all in trying And I’ve missed you ever since

Stay true, my faithful steward And don’t let your hands rest Bring steadiness and balance To each soul enduring test

I’ll never stop believing You’ll always drum your beat Together we’ll continue Though our eyes may never meet

A lesson worth the struggle A blessing worth the pain Farewell, my almost lover In my soul you will remain.

On a cold wintery night, I thought of you out of spite. A thought that hadn’t dared cross my mind, For the sake of me and the thought of you almost being mine. Finally, I thought of you again, We were in love still and we made amends. All the past pain was washed away, We loved eachother like there was no tomorrow and the love stayed. You were mine and I was forever yours. Because no matter what has happened, I still loved you down to my very core. But as I woke up from this everlasting dream, It was just a dream. We hadn’t gotten back together, In fact it had been almost a year since we last spoken. This dream hits me like a brick and my heart is broken. But I recall back in our timeless memories, the ones I hold onto so tight. Remembering how we loved eachother so much and right. But those days are long gone and dead. It’s time to let it go and let it rest.

Farewell, my almost lover.